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🎲 Surprise Me

Showing 48 of 498879 GIFs

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0ba1b00c-1278-4213-bbe0-320e345fe3c3.gif
Yeah, kids, could you excuse the assistant coach and I for a second?
assistantcoachexcusekidssecond
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993274b6-8c4f-4439-8627-0d0354f2c907.gif
and pouring baby powder on your tuchus,
babypouringpowdertuchus
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Hmm.
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e21e3709-6252-448c-b4b0-40e1d66c1211.gif
I'm not okay with the present system.
presentsystem
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a brief, 30-second advertisement.
briefsecond
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ENJOY THE FREE ESPRESSOS.
enjoyfree
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[record scratch]
recordscratch
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He's sick. He's perverted.
pervertedsick
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So it would mean a lot if you went with me.
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On whose authority, Corporal?
authoritycorporal
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What are you doing?
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efd08837-1c5a-4983-aec2-e44d51568bbc.gif
Those are dog treats laced with sleeping pills.
pillssleepingsleeping-pillstreats
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1a30bf3a-f9f1-4e88-833c-e9141645b4d0.gif
- Why didn't you take my call? - l can't always pick up the phone.
phonepick
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# I can't do this all on my own
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- "I just look dirty. I'm clean." - All right, take a deep breath.
breathcleandeepdeep-breathdirty
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Both?
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Okay.
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Well-- (sighs)
sighs
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I intrigued back.
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Yeah, it was either that or live in Atlanta as a woman.
atlantalivewoman
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Otherwise, you don't eat. Okay?
otherwise
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Mom!
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7d06880b-ab32-4a2a-a657-cf1ae8a0ea7d.gif
and raise the kids until they're out of the house,
housekidsraise
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I think you need to spend time
spend
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- Get Stewie back up on the pole? - What?
polestewie
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Charlie, her co-fellow.
charliefellow
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flood the house, and they tear it to shreds, that, like...
floodhousetear
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Don't be silly.
silly
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Dick towel! Dot-com.
dicktowel
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No, Frank didn't buy shitty presents.
frankpresentsshitty
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Richard, this is complicated.
complicatedrichard
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I wanted to abort, I wanted to get out of it, but I couldn't.
abortwanted
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What?
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Actually, this is a support group for the terminally ill.
groupsupportsupport-groupterminally
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Chimpanzees often use sticks as crude tools.
crudeoftenstickstools
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Konyo Yaro.
konyo-yaro
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I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat
bodycombatcoursegiving
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D-0-3.
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In a hospital, the words "I'm sorry" can mean a lot of different things.
hospitalwords
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Stop spreading around embarrassing rumors.
embarrassingrumorsspreading
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Can't we just throw the thing in the trash?
throwtrash
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No no. I don't like that. Don't do it again.
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Pinkie promise? [ Exhales ] Oh, yes.
exhalespinkiepromise
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– The hard drive? – Correct.
correctdrivehardhard-drive
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Vought and the Supes are both gonna be looking for her.
lookingsupesvought
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You'll live forever. Or not. What do I know? I'm not psychic.
foreverlivelive-foreverpsychic
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Thanks, man.
thanks
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Hanson!
hanson