Giffer
Gallery
Login
Home
»
21 Jump Street (2012)
» S01E01 — 21 Jump Street (2012)
21 Jump Street (2012)
Combine Images
Clear
❮
✕
❯
Season 1, Episode 1 — 21 Jump Street (2012)
- Hey, Melodie. - Hey.
#1
⇓
Look, I know
#2
⇓
we've known each other for a really long time.
#3
⇓
And we live across the street from each other and stuff.
#4
⇓
And...
#5
⇓
I know, like, in four days,
#6
⇓
I'm sure, if...
#7
⇓
- You know, prom's, like, in four days... - Oh, my God.
#8
⇓
You're not asking me to prom, are you?
#9
⇓
Fuck, no.
#10
⇓
No, I... No, I just...
#11
⇓
- You're probably going with someone. - I'm sorry.
#12
⇓
I don't know how to put this nicely.
#13
⇓
There's not a nice way to put it.
#14
⇓
You're a f***ing nerd.
#15
⇓
And, you know... I don't know. She's hot.
#16
⇓
Look at her. Look at her.
#17
⇓
- Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. - I'll see you later.
#18
⇓
- Bye. - All right, buddy, good talk.
#19
⇓
Dude, classic.
#20
⇓
Greg Jenko to the principal's office. Greg Jenko to the principal's office.
#21
⇓
- Shit. - Good luck, bro.
#22
⇓
I said loud and clear,
#23
⇓
if you didn't get your grades up, you weren't going to the prom.
#24
⇓
You, my friend, are about to pay the piper.
#25
⇓
I should pay who?
#26
⇓
You're not going to the prom.
#27
⇓
Boy, you lucky you even graduating.
#28
⇓
But I'm going to be prom king.
#29
⇓
I'm glad you had a great time in school.
#30
⇓
'Cause you ain't learned nothing.
#31
⇓
Fuck! Fuck!
#32
⇓
Welcome to the Police Academy.
#33
⇓
Make sure your form is completely filled out, then move along.
#34
⇓
Not-so-slim Shady, what's up? Holy shit!
#35
⇓
Jenko, Schmidt, you're up.
#36
⇓
Oh, f***!
#37
⇓
- You're good at this, huh? - Yeah, I am.
#38
⇓
Thank you.
#39
⇓
Such bullshit.
#40
⇓
You're really good at this.
#41
⇓
Yeah, I am.
#42
⇓
Hey, you want to be friends?
#43
⇓
Come on. Come on, let's go.
#44
⇓
Come on, pick your knees up. Pick your knees up.
#45
⇓
I'm telling you right now, it's not a felony.
#46
⇓
Chill, all right? Look, if it has intent, it's a felony.
#47
⇓
What did I tell you? Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go!
#48
⇓
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
#49
⇓
Faster. Let's go.
#50
⇓
Clear!
#51
⇓
Clear!
#52
⇓
Come on, come on, come on! Stop.
#53
⇓
Yes! Yes!
#54
⇓
Let me see. Let me see.
#55
⇓
Nice.
#56
⇓
Ten-hut! Ladies and gentlemen,
#57
⇓
I present to you the graduates of Class 137.
#58
⇓
Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherf***ers.
#59
⇓
I am.
#60
⇓
I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions,
#61
⇓
and less homeless people doo-dooing everywhere.
#62
⇓
Do you guys really think this is a police matter?
#63
⇓
To get your Frisbee back?
#64
⇓
Get your own f***ing Frisbee.
#65
⇓
Shit.
#66
⇓
Shit! Shit!
#67
⇓
Yours isn't loaded, right?
#68
⇓
We're supposed to unload them first, right?
#69
⇓
What, you... No.
#70
⇓
That's no fun. Come on.
#71
⇓
Sign says, "Do not feed the ducks."
#72
⇓
It's right there.
#73
⇓
- Don't you... Don't... - Don't. Stop it.
#74
⇓
Don't. You did it. You fed the ducks.
#75
⇓
You feel like a big shot?
#76
⇓
No f***ing way.
#77
⇓
One Percenters?
#78
⇓
These guys are, like, big-time drug dealers.
#79
⇓
If we could take them down as our first bust, we'd be off park duty for sure.
#80
⇓
You see what I see?
#81
⇓
Cannabis sativa.
#82
⇓
Chaka Khan.
#83
⇓
Chaka Khan?
#84
⇓
Gentlemen. We having a little party?
#85
⇓
Have we forgotten that the use of marijuana is illegal?
#86
⇓
I have glaucoma.
#87
⇓
I get nervous in crowds.
#88
⇓
Herpes.
#89
⇓
Then you won't mind if I search your bike, now, would you?
#90
⇓
Go ahead. You won't find shit.
#91
⇓
- Get up. - Cálmate, gringo.
#92
⇓
Man, you guys even real cops? You look like the kids on Halloween.
#93
⇓
If those boys is cops, I'm DEA.
#94
⇓
I know, right? I know.
#95
⇓
It's hilarious.
#96
⇓
So why don't you show us a little respect?
#97
⇓
- Fuck you, pig. - Hey.
#98
⇓
You want me to beat your dick off?
#99
⇓
You want to beat my dick off?
#100
⇓
I'll beat your dick off with both hands. What's up? Let's go.
#101
⇓
- That's weird, man. - I think what he was trying to say was,
#102
⇓
he's going to punch you so many times around the genital area
#103
⇓
that your dick's just going to fall off.
#104
⇓
Why do you have salt in your...
#105
⇓
- That's actual drugs. - Oh, my God.
#106
⇓
Get on the ground! Hey!
#107
⇓
- Come here now! - What do I do?
#108
⇓
- Chase someone! - Chase someone?
#109
⇓
Are you leaving your bike here?
#110
⇓
Okay. All right.
#111
⇓
Don't run from me! You're making it worse for yourself!
#112
⇓
No! Get out of the way!
#113
⇓
Stop!
#114
⇓
I'm going to shoot you if you don't slow down, man! Come on!
#115
⇓
Hey! Come here!
#116
⇓
I'm not playing anymore! I'm so not kidding!
#117
⇓
I got him. I got him.
#118
⇓
Freeze! Freeze!
#119
⇓
Hands up or I shoot you! Freeze!
#120
⇓
That's it! Come here!
#121
⇓
Freeze! Stop it!
#122
⇓
You're a pussy!
#123
⇓
You got the right to... Give me that! You got the right to...
#124
⇓
...to suck my dick, motherf***er!
#125
⇓
My elbow.
#126
⇓
- You got nothing. - How's my dick feel in your ass, huh?
#127
⇓
- Hey! Hey! - How's it feel? How's it feel now?
#128
⇓
That's right. Schmidt! Schmidt, we got one!
#129
⇓
We got one! I got him!
#130
⇓
Yes! Yes!
#131
⇓
- Yeah! - We got an arrest!
#132
⇓
- Yeah! We got him! - Yes!
#133
⇓
- Yeah! Fuck you! Yeah! - Fuck you! Yeah!
#134
⇓
What's up?
#135
⇓
Drop my nuts on your motherf***ing forehead!
#136
⇓
Drop my nuts on your motherf***ing forehead!
#137
⇓
- That's right. - Fuck you, park!
#138
⇓
- We arrest people now! - What up, park?
#139
⇓
- What's up? What's up? - What up, park? Who wants one?
#140
⇓
Congratulations on the bust, boys. It sounds great.
#141
⇓
- Thank you, Cinnamon. - Are those new?
#142
⇓
The department was forced to drop the charges
#143
⇓
because you forgot to read him his Miranda rights.
#144
⇓
What possible reason is there for not doing the only thing
#145
⇓
you have to do when arresting someone?
#146
⇓
I did read him his right... I did a version of that.
#147
⇓
- Do you even know the Miranda rights? - Yes.
#148
⇓
Let's hear them, then.
#149
⇓
You got a lot of stuff to do.
#150
⇓
No, go ahead. You going anywhere, Schmidt?
#151
⇓
We got time.
#152
⇓
I had a thing, but I can probably push it back.
#153
⇓
Go ahead. It's four declamatory sentences, followed by a question,
#154
⇓
for a total of 57 words.
#155
⇓
Okay. Look, it obviously starts with, "You have the right to remain silent."
#156
⇓
I know you've heard this before. And then,
#157
⇓
I think it sounds something like...
#158
⇓
- "You have the right to an attorney." - Well, the thing... Yeah, right.
#159
⇓
"You have the right to remain an attorney."
#160
⇓
Did you say that you have the right to be an attorney?
#161
⇓
You do have the right to be an attorney, if you want to.
#162
⇓
Where were you?
#163
⇓
I was chasing my perp, sir.
#164
⇓
And how did that go for you?
#165
⇓
Honestly, he did get away,
#166
⇓
and he threw me down pretty hard.
#167
⇓
Actually f***ed up my elbow pretty bad.
#168
⇓
Can I see that?
#169
⇓
Yeah, actually, it hurts 'cause the dirt gets mushed into it.
#170
⇓
Wow.
#171
⇓
Fortunately for you two,
#172
⇓
we're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the '80s
#173
⇓
and revamping it for modern times.
#174
⇓
You see, the guys in charge of this stuff
#175
⇓
lack creativity and are completely out of ideas,
#176
⇓
so all they do now is recycle shit from the past
#177
⇓
and expect us all not to notice.
#178
⇓
One of these programs involves the use of young,
#179
⇓
immature-seeming officers.
#180
⇓
Sir, are you saying that you're going to send us into, like,
#181
⇓
a child sex slavery ring or something?
#182
⇓
Sir, if I have to suck somebody's dick, I will.
#183
⇓
It's just... I'd prefer not to.
#184
⇓
I think you idiots are perfect.
#185
⇓
You're officially transferred.
#186
⇓
- All right. Yeah. - That's great.
#187
⇓
Where should we report to?
#188
⇓
Down on Jump Street.
#189
⇓
37 Jump Street.
#190
⇓
No, that doesn't sound right.
#191
⇓
Is it...
#192
⇓
This has got to be a joke.
#193
⇓
This is it.
#194
⇓
Aroma of Christ Church?
#195
⇓
How's it going?
#196
⇓
This place is weird.
#197
⇓
Everybody comfortable?
#198
⇓
Yeah.
#199
⇓
Get your motherf***ing ass up when I'm talking!
#200
⇓
You will be going undercover as high school students.
#201
⇓
You are here simply because you look young.
#202
⇓
You some Justin Beaver,
#203
⇓
Miley Cyrus-looking motherf***ers.
#204
⇓
Captain Sassy.
#205
⇓
I know what you're thinking,
#206
⇓
"Angry Black Captain."
#207
⇓
It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype.
#208
⇓
Well, guess what, motherf***ers.
#209
⇓
I'm black.
#210
⇓
And I worked my ass off to be the captain!
#211
⇓
And sometimes I get angry.
#212
⇓
So suck a dick!
#213
⇓
What I'm trying to show you is,
#214
⇓
embrace your stereotypes.
#215
⇓
Like this guy right here. Handsome.
#216
⇓
And he's probably a dummy.
#217
⇓
And then this guy.
#218
⇓
He's short and insecure.
#219
⇓
And he's probably good with money.
#220
⇓
- You are good with money. - What the f***?
#221
⇓
Didn't somebody tell you guys this was an undercover unit?
#222
⇓
I don't... I actually didn't...
#223
⇓
I didn't get a letter or anything.
#224
⇓
- Yeah, like, a start time... - With a dress code or anything like that.
#225
⇓
Teenage the f*** up!
#226
⇓
Rule number one at Jump Street. Fugazy.
#227
⇓
Do not get expelled.
#228
⇓
Nobody in the system knows you're here. All right? Nobody.
#229
⇓
You get kicked out of school,
#230
⇓
your monkey ass is getting kicked out of Jump Street.
#231
⇓
Rule number two. Burns.
#232
⇓
Do not have sexual relations with students or teachers, sir.
#233
⇓
You hear that? That's you.
#234
⇓
- Don't do it, man. - Why...
#235
⇓
- Keep that dirty dick in your pants. - Dirty?
#236
⇓
Don't f*** no students.
#237
⇓
Don't f*** no teachers.
#238
⇓
Sir, I know we come off as a couple of lady-killers,
#239
⇓
but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
#240
⇓
Clearly, I wasn't talking to you, Big Titties.
#241
⇓
You cherub-looking motherf***er.
#242
⇓
I was talking to your partner over here.
#243
⇓
Fake-ass Handsome McGee.
#244
⇓
When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him.
#245
⇓
When I say, "Shut the f*** up,"
#246
⇓
- I'm talking to you. - Cool.
#247
⇓
Now, you two sons of bitches, in my office now.
#248
⇓
Right now!
#249
⇓
Hi. I am Billiam Willingham.
#250
⇓
So I bought these,
#251
⇓
which is all anybody seems to be talking about right now.
#252
⇓
Cheers.
#253
⇓
It's a new synthetic drug.
#254
⇓
Goes by the street name H.F.S.
#255
⇓
Holy f***ing shit.
#256
⇓
Holy...
#257
⇓
They put this on the Internet for everybody to see?
#258
⇓
They're teenagers, man. They're really stupid.
#259
⇓
So you should blend right in.
#260
⇓
Jessica, will you go to prom with me? But I already know the answer. It's yes.
#261
⇓
I could watch this kid all day.
#262
⇓
Man, this kid rules.
#263
⇓
Ruled.
#264
⇓
His parents found him OD'd in his room a few days ago.
#265
⇓
He's dead.
#266
⇓
Whatever he took, the lab has never seen it before.
#267
⇓
And as you can see, this kid is white.
#268
⇓
That means people actually give a shit.
#269
⇓
Sir, I just want to throw out to you that I would give a shit if he was black.
#270
⇓
Right now, H.F.S. is contained right there at Sagan High.
#271
⇓
Now, once this drug breaks containment, it goes viral in a few days.
#272
⇓
Jenko, I looked at your old transcript.
#273
⇓
I enrolled you in a bunch of bullshit courses
#274
⇓
like photography and drama.
#275
⇓
Get in with the burnouts and the cool kids.
#276
⇓
Find out who's slinging this shit.
#277
⇓
Schmidt, says you were a virgin
#278
⇓
- through high school. - It says that?
#279
⇓
No. I just assumed it,
#280
⇓
due to your many years on the honor roll and your membership to the juggling squad.
#281
⇓
It's the Juggling Society, but it's fine. It’s fine.
#282
⇓
They're stealing equipment from the chemistry lab.
#283
⇓
That's what we think they're cooking the dope with.
#284
⇓
I enrolled you into honors chemistry.
#285
⇓
Here's your new identities, all right?
#286
⇓
Brad and Doug McQuaid.
#287
⇓
The mission is this.
#288
⇓
Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
#289
⇓
We get to be brothers?
#290
⇓
Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
#291
⇓
But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.
#292
⇓
God damn. Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
#293
⇓
Hey, Korean Jesus.
#294
⇓
I don't know if you only cater to Korean Christians
#295
⇓
or if you even exist. No offense.
#296
⇓
I just...
#297
⇓
I'm really freaked out about going back to high school.
#298
⇓
It was just so f***ing hard the first time.
#299
⇓
I know we haven't made our first arrest, or maybe I'm not the best cop.
#300
⇓
Korean Jesus, I just really don't want to f*** this up.
#301
⇓
I'm sorry for swearing so much.
#302
⇓
The end?
#303
⇓
I don't really know how to end a prayer. The end?
#304
⇓
Yeah.
#305
⇓
Hey! Hey!
#306
⇓
Stop f***ing with Korean Jesus!
#307
⇓
He ain't got time for your problems. He busy!
#308
⇓
With Korean shit.
#309
⇓
- You two get to your mama house ASAP. - What?
#310
⇓
You're teenagers now, all right?
#311
⇓
You two are staying at Schmidt's parents' house
#312
⇓
for the duration of this assignment.
#313
⇓
Fuck me.
#314
⇓
This house is adorable.
#315
⇓
My baby's home! Come here.
#316
⇓
- You will always be my infant angel baby child. - There's my guy.
#317
⇓
It's great to see you guys.
#318
⇓
- Hey. - Schmidt family! Up top, Papa Schmidt.
#319
⇓
Oh, my God. Mama Schmidt, did you do all this yourself?
#320
⇓
- This is unbelievable. - Well, yeah.
#321
⇓
- I guess I did. - It's gorgeous!
#322
⇓
So are you.
#323
⇓
Honey, listen, I want to tell you, we did blow up the air mattress in your room
#324
⇓
'cause we're kind of using that as a workout area,
#325
⇓
so I hope you don't mind the elliptical.
#326
⇓
No, no! Jenko, Jenko, oh, my God, please. No, no.
#327
⇓
Don't touch that. We just brought it back from Sedona.
#328
⇓
Guys, can we get rid of this stuff?
#329
⇓
I mean, it looks like I died in a car crash
#330
⇓
- and you guys haven't moved on. - Rid of it?
#331
⇓
If we take it down, we have to stop bragging about you.
#332
⇓
I look like Fred Savage from The Wonder Years,
#333
⇓
but completely naked, wearing Indian friendship bracelets.
#334
⇓
That is a great picture, Morton.
#335
⇓
You look like a young Jay Leno.
#336
⇓
Am I even wearing underwear in this picture?
#337
⇓
No.
#338
⇓
I remember. You know why?
#339
⇓
Because I've told it to a therapist about 8,000 times.
#340
⇓
I mean, this is a fourth grade participation medal for soccer.
#341
⇓
It's literally a medal for sucking.
#342
⇓
- No, that is a medal for trying. - Yes.
#343
⇓
Let me tell you something. This guy was always a great tryer.
#344
⇓
That must be Phyllis. She is just dying to see you.
#345
⇓
What? Mom, you told Phyllis I was here? She's gonna tell the whole neighborhood.
#346
⇓
I told you, it's an undercover assignment. It's super secretive.
#347
⇓
"Undercover." That's so cute.
#348
⇓
- I'm going upstairs. - Okay, honey. I want you to know
#349
⇓
- we are so glad you're here. - Okay.
#350
⇓
That's great. Thank you.
#351
⇓
- All right. Where is he? - He's upstairs.
#352
⇓
He just needs to take a little rest, and then he's dying to see you, too.
#353
⇓
- Bye-bye. - I baked muffins!
#354
⇓
If you don't know your identity, we're screwed tomorrow.
#355
⇓
You got to study this stuff.
#356
⇓
Forget those identities. They're bullshit. They said I was held back a year.
#357
⇓
You were. You were held back two years.
#358
⇓
Just 'cause it's a fake backstory doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings.
#359
⇓
Fuck! Socks don't match.
#360
⇓
I got to start all over.
#361
⇓
It's the first day of school, dude. I got to look awesome.
#362
⇓
You know, back in the day, you were super popular,
#363
⇓
and I wasn't as much.
#364
⇓
We didn't really get along in high school.
#365
⇓
You don't think that's going to happen again, do you?
#366
⇓
No. Come on, man. We're adults now. We're best buds.
#367
⇓
It's definitely not going to happen again.
#368
⇓
- We're good. - Cool.
#369
⇓
Beautiful day out there, boys.
#370
⇓
Just shut up.
#371
⇓
"Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
#372
⇓
"You have the right to an attorney.
#373
⇓
"If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed..."
#374
⇓
Dude, do you still not know the Miranda rights? You're a cop.
#375
⇓
Come on, man. They always cut away on TV before they finish them.
#376
⇓
All right, let's do it.
#377
⇓
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - What?
#378
⇓
What are you doing?
#379
⇓
- What? What are you talking about? - Are you two-strapping?
#380
⇓
- My backpack? Yeah. - Yeah, I got to be seen with you.
#381
⇓
You got to one-strap it.
#382
⇓
Seriously, I would no-strap it if that would even be possible.
#383
⇓
Okay, what makes you the expert?
#384
⇓
I was cool in high school, and you weren't.
#385
⇓
Okay, that makes sense. Continue.
#386
⇓
The Three Keys of Coolness in High School, by Jenko.
#387
⇓
One, don't try hard at anything.
#388
⇓
Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try.
#389
⇓
Three, be handsome.
#390
⇓
Four, if anyone steps to you on the first day of school,
#391
⇓
you punch them directly in the face.
#392
⇓
Five, drive a kick-ass car.
#393
⇓
Shit.
#394
⇓
All right, but just don't be driving it like teenagers,
#395
⇓
revving up the engine and shit, okay?
#396
⇓
We would never.
#397
⇓
Come on, Hoffs. Give us a little credit.
#398
⇓
- Hey, you ready? - Go!
#399
⇓
That was awesome! That was amazing.
#400
⇓
- Was I flying? - That was amazing.
#401
⇓
All right, do mine, do mine.
#402
⇓
- Okay, ready? Here I go. - Yeah, yeah.
#403
⇓
You okay?
#404
⇓
I think I shit my pants.
#405
⇓
Hey, park in that handicapped spot.
#406
⇓
- It'll make us look cool. - That's awesome.
#407
⇓
Dude?
#408
⇓
- Everybody's two-strapping it. - Just stay with the one-strap.
#409
⇓
I can't. I can't. I can't right now.
#410
⇓
What are you doing? What are you doing? Don't succumb to the peer pressure.
#411
⇓
- What are you doing? - You're supposed to use two straps.
#412
⇓
- One strap is peer pressure. - No. No. You're f***ing up right now.
#413
⇓
Okay, those are Goths.
#414
⇓
Those are nerds.
#415
⇓
I don't know what they are.
#416
⇓
What the f*** are those things?
#417
⇓
I'm so confused right now.
#418
⇓
Whoa.
#419
⇓
- Hi. - Hey.
#420
⇓
- Hey. - Good morning.
#421
⇓
Hey, yo. Hey.
#422
⇓
- Is that your car? - Yeah.
#423
⇓
What's that thing get, 10 miles to the gallon?
#424
⇓
No, try, like, seven.
#425
⇓
- What about you? - Biodiesel, dawg.
#426
⇓
Smells like egg rolls.
#427
⇓
Yeah, it does. Runs on leftover fry oil from Hunan Palace.
#428
⇓
But we try to ride bikes when we can. Global crisis and whatnot.
#429
⇓
Whatever, man. I don't care about anything.
#430
⇓
You don't care about the environment? That's kind of f***ed up, man.
#431
⇓
Hey, hey, will y'all shut the hell up?
#432
⇓
I'm trying to study. Thanks.
#433
⇓
Look at him. He's trying.
#434
⇓
He's actually trying. What a nerd.
#435
⇓
Look at the nerd. Look at the nerd.
#436
⇓
- Look at him. Look at the nerd. - Who you calling a nerd, man?
#437
⇓
I'm sorry. What...
#438
⇓
- Shit! - Shit, dude.
#439
⇓
Are you okay, man? Hey, what the hell? Are you serious?
#440
⇓
Well, turn that gay-ass music off.
#441
⇓
- You punched me because I'm gay? - What?
#442
⇓
No. Come on.
#443
⇓
That's not cool, man.
#444
⇓
That is really insensitive.
#445
⇓
I didn't punch him because he's gay.
#446
⇓
I punched him, and then he happened to turn out to be gay afterwards.
#447
⇓
- I was gay when you punched me! - In a weird way,
#448
⇓
it might have been homophobic not to punch you
#449
⇓
- just because you were gay. - Right.
#450
⇓
You punched a little gay black kid in the face,
#451
⇓
and it's not even second period. How do you explain that?
#452
⇓
Mr. Dadier, I'm so sorry about that. I just...
#453
⇓
Look, guys, I'm going to relate to you, okay?
#454
⇓
A kid died the other day from drugs,
#455
⇓
and nobody, including me, is doing anything about it.
#456
⇓
That's weird, guys.
#457
⇓
And then you two show up, with 30 days left,
#458
⇓
causing trouble in my school.
#459
⇓
I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the face
#460
⇓
away from a nervous breakdown. Do I make myself clear?
#461
⇓
You guys cross my line again,
#462
⇓
and you walk into this office, I'm going to expel you. You got me?
#463
⇓
All right, let's do this. Which one of you is Doug?
#464
⇓
Let's do that again and pretend you guys aren't weird.
#465
⇓
Which one of you is named Doug?
#466
⇓
- No, dude, I'm Brad. - Okay, good.
#467
⇓
So that means your name is Doug, son.
#468
⇓
- Yeah, I'm Doug. - Great.
#469
⇓
Here are your class schedules.
#470
⇓
Funny, I wouldn't have taken you for the brainy type.
#471
⇓
I wouldn't. But you as a drama geek, far less surprising.
#472
⇓
Thank you.
#473
⇓
Now we have the wrong identities, you dumbass.
#474
⇓
I'm in drama. I suck at drama. It's girly and embarrassing.
#475
⇓
Oh, my God. Relax, dude. Who cares?
#476
⇓
I can fake my way through band practice and app chemistry for a few weeks.
#477
⇓
AP Chemistry. AP Chemistry. And, no, you can't,
#478
⇓
because you don't even know what it's actually f***ing called!
#479
⇓
It's going to be fine. You go to my classes, and I'm going to go to yours.
#480
⇓
Okay, now, chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?
#481
⇓
Fuck.
#482
⇓
So, we are going to hold auditions for the Peter Pan part today.
#483
⇓
Billiam would've wanted the show to go on.
#484
⇓
When I was a young actor just starting out in New York state,
#485
⇓
Albany, to be exact,
#486
⇓
- I booked a local television commercial... - Hey.
#487
⇓
...in which I had to play a young man...
#488
⇓
It's really sad about that kid. He was talented.
#489
⇓
So are you saying if he wasn't talented, it would be less sad?
#490
⇓
No. No, no, no, that's not what I meant.
#491
⇓
I was just busting your balls.
#492
⇓
Okay. Good.
#493
⇓
I remember, one time, doing cocaine with Willie Nelson's horse,
#494
⇓
and we were having so much fun.
#495
⇓
And then I realized that she was dead.
#496
⇓
I remember one summer...
#497
⇓
Do kids still do this stuff?
#498
⇓
Even after what happened to him?
#499
⇓
Everyone's saying that Billiam had a heart murmur.
#500
⇓
Pretty much everyone I know does it, but it's not my thing.
#501
⇓
It's not really my thing, either,
#502
⇓
but a buddy of mine really wants it.
#503
⇓
Who would he call if he wanted it?
#504
⇓
Well, you can tell your friend
#505
⇓
that if he really wanted it,
#506
⇓
it's not so hard to find.
#507
⇓
When to take it. He shouldn't have been taking it at all.
#508
⇓
Drugs are bad.
#509
⇓
But they can have their place in the life of a professional actor.
#510
⇓
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
#511
⇓
Notice the distinction. I said "professional actor."
#512
⇓
New person. Mr. Texty Texty.
#513
⇓
Since you have so much to say to Molly,
#514
⇓
let's see if you can be Peter to our Wendy.
#515
⇓
You look like you might have a little Peter inside of you.
#516
⇓
I can't. I'm fine just being a tree or something.
#517
⇓
Doug, you never won't know
#518
⇓
what you can't achieve before you don't achieve it.
#519
⇓
My point is,
#520
⇓
you have to. Everyone auditions for Peter.
#521
⇓
Yeah, sure.
#522
⇓
My favorite molecule is water.
#523
⇓
I'd marry it, unless it was my daughter.
#524
⇓
Its solid form floats on its liquid form, which makes it far outside the norm.
#525
⇓
It allowed life to form on ancient Mars, and we use it to wash our cars.
#526
⇓
H2O.
#527
⇓
H2O. H2O.
#528
⇓
- H2O. - It's okay. Thank you.
#529
⇓
Thank you, Zack. So good.
#530
⇓
All right, anybody else for Molecule Mondays? Anyone?
#531
⇓
Okay. Time for a pop Quiznos.
#532
⇓
A what?
#533
⇓
I'm sorry.
#534
⇓
What is your name? Brad?
#535
⇓
- Brad. Yes, ma'am. - Wow. Look at you,
#536
⇓
Brad. Big.
#537
⇓
What is a pop Quiznos?
#538
⇓
It's a quiz, and the first who finishes gets a $10 gift certificate to Quiznos.
#539
⇓
- Today's quiz is on... - You look really old.
#540
⇓
- Were you held back or something or... - No. You look super young.
#541
⇓
Were you held forward?
#542
⇓
I went to school in France, so...
#543
⇓
And they do, like, two extra years of middle school there. It's so lame.
#544
⇓
French, the language of love.
#545
⇓
That's cool, man. It's nice to meet you also.
#546
⇓
Hey.
#547
⇓
Good luck.
#548
⇓
I've gotta crow
#549
⇓
I'm just the cleverest...
#550
⇓
Okay.
#551
⇓
Maybe try one cooler.
#552
⇓
And faster.
#553
⇓
And louder. And better.
#554
⇓
And less insecure and more just cool.
#555
⇓
Okay, yeah, those are great notes.
#556
⇓
I'm going to run outside,
#557
⇓
and I'm going to utilize those, and I'm going to come back.
#558
⇓
It's such bullshit.
#559
⇓
Wow. You're fast.
#560
⇓
Not like that. Just, let me check you out.
#561
⇓
Let me check out your chest.
#562
⇓
Check out your test... Let me...
#563
⇓
Let me grade your quiz.
#564
⇓
Can I go take a dump?
#565
⇓
Yeah, okay. That's cool.
#566
⇓
We have this "hurry back" rule,
#567
⇓
so if you're not back in six minutes, I have to send you to the principal.
#568
⇓
Rules are rules, so,
#569
⇓
I guess this will have to be a quickie.
#570
⇓
- Which way is yearbook? - I don't know.
#571
⇓
- Is it this way? - I don't know!
#572
⇓
- Yo. - Hey.
#573
⇓
You guys, huh?
#574
⇓
That was a total mix-up, what happened earlier.
#575
⇓
- Yeah. - He feels awful. He feels...
#576
⇓
Totally, very nervous.
#577
⇓
You're the dealer?
#578
⇓
- You're the dealer guy? - Is that you?
#579
⇓
Yep.
#580
⇓
So do you make the stuff or...
#581
⇓
Do I look like a f***ing scientist? No, I just sell it.
#582
⇓
- Yeah, he just sells it. Come on. - Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
#583
⇓
- I meant I just... - How many you guys want?
#584
⇓
20 bucks a pop.
#585
⇓
One each? One pop each of drugs.
#586
⇓
You guys aren't narcs, are you?
#587
⇓
Whoa!
#588
⇓
- Dude, come on. - No! Maybe you're a narc.
#589
⇓
You know who calls people narcs?
#590
⇓
Narcs, narc.
#591
⇓
First of all, your argument kind of just collapsed on itself,
#592
⇓
because if you call us narcs,
#593
⇓
if narcs call people narcs, and you call us narcs, then that's kind of...
#594
⇓
- 'Cause you just said that. - They call people...
#595
⇓
Look, I don't have time for this shit. You guys want to do this or not?
#596
⇓
- Jesus. - Yes.
#597
⇓
- Yes, yes. - No problem.
#598
⇓
All right, take it here so I know you're cool.
#599
⇓
I'm sorry. What?
#600
⇓
- We were going to take it home. - I gotta go back to class,
#601
⇓
- is the only thing. - I was thinking that I was gonna go home,
#602
⇓
maybe turn down the lights,
#603
⇓
getting snuggy, get a little weird.
#604
⇓
I was going to take it, and then masturbate later.
#605
⇓
Okay, I'm not asking. Take it now or get the f*** out.
#606
⇓
I got to finish the girls' volleyball page by lunch.
#607
⇓
Yeah?
#608
⇓
Yeah, no, it's all good.
#609
⇓
- I love doing drugs at school. - I'll just take the drugs right here,
#610
⇓
in our mouths.
#611
⇓
There you go. That's it.
#612
⇓
What is that? Barbecue? Cool Ranch?
#613
⇓
Have fun.
#614
⇓
- You got to pull the trigger! - Okay.
#615
⇓
You got to pull the trigger!
#616
⇓
- We got to throw up, man. - I can't.
#617
⇓
We gotta throw up. That kid, Billiam, died. We got to throw up.
#618
⇓
Just think of something gross. Think of something gross.
#619
⇓
- You f***ing think of something. - Okay, all right, all right.
#620
⇓
Your grandma's vagina, and there's a dick going into it.
#621
⇓
- What the f*** are you saying? - I don't know! I'm just trying!
#622
⇓
- I'm trying my best! I'm just trying! - Fuck! Come on, man!
#623
⇓
Dude, let's just finger each other's mouths.
#624
⇓
- No! - Yeah.
#625
⇓
No, you're not fingering my mouth.
#626
⇓
- Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die? - Okay, fine!
#627
⇓
Let's go. Come on. Come on! Come on!
#628
⇓
What are you doing? Are you trying to find my G-spot?
#629
⇓
- Just stick it in! - I don't know. I've never done this!
#630
⇓
Just stick it in! Go!
#631
⇓
Cut your f***ing fingernails!
#632
⇓
Oh, God!
#633
⇓
Is it me?
#634
⇓
I'm sorry.
#635
⇓
I just can't sometimes.
#636
⇓
Think we're going to be fine. I don't feel anything.
#637
⇓
Me, neither.
#638
⇓
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
#639
⇓
You got a pass for running around the hallways like a couple of ding-a-lings?
#640
⇓
Pass, in your hand.
#641
⇓
Hello.
#642
⇓
Damn. You guys are late.
#643
⇓
Now I'm going to have to take you to the principal's office.
#644
⇓
- No, no, no, man. Come on, please. Sorry. - Come on, please.
#645
⇓
You have exceptional muscle tone there, young man.
#646
⇓
When'd you go through puberty? Like, at seven or something?
#647
⇓
You look like you're in your mid-20s, for crying out loud.
#648
⇓
McQuaid, huh? Doug McQuaid.
#649
⇓
I read your file.
#650
⇓
You got a lot of something special going on there, young man.
#651
⇓
What the hell was that? God damn it, son!
#652
⇓
Don't ever raise your hand to me like that again, all right?
#653
⇓
I consider that a threat.
#654
⇓
I was just saying that I'm Doug.
#655
⇓
I'm Doug McQuaid. See, that's Brad.
#656
⇓
That's Brad.
#657
⇓
You're the new kid who's All County in track?
#658
⇓
Yes, I'm Doug McQuaid,
#659
⇓
the track star, and this is Brad, the science prodigy.
#660
⇓
He's really fast.
#661
⇓
Is this funny to you guys?
#662
⇓
So you're Doug. You're Doug. You're Doug.
#663
⇓
You're Doug. You're Doug.
#664
⇓
Here's the deal.
#665
⇓
My track team is full of physically incapable rejects.
#666
⇓
I mean, if I wasn't the coach, I'd be laughing my ass off
#667
⇓
at how spastic they are, but I am the coach,
#668
⇓
so I need you.
#669
⇓
I need me some Doug McQuaid.
#670
⇓
Understand?
#671
⇓
I need you to run anchor on the 4 X 400 at today's track meet.
#672
⇓
You do that, and I'll sign this pass.
#673
⇓
Don't blow on me, son.
#674
⇓
I haven't trained.
#675
⇓
Guys, don't make me take you to the principal's office.
#676
⇓
Do we have a deal?
#677
⇓
Yes.
#678
⇓
Nice.
#679
⇓
I don't like that. Put your tongue back in your mouth.
#680
⇓
Put your tongue in your mouth, and close it.
#681
⇓
What are you doing? Stop it.
#682
⇓
Actually, that's not bad.
#683
⇓
All right, here you go.
#684
⇓
Are you guys on drugs?
#685
⇓
Okay.
#686
⇓
One particle of Unobtainium has a nuclear reaction with a flux capacitor.
#687
⇓
Carry the two, changing its atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider.
#688
⇓
Fuck you, science!
#689
⇓
All right, all right, we're good.
#690
⇓
We're good. We're good, man. We're good.
#691
⇓
We're good, baby.
#692
⇓
Good work. Hit that shit.
#693
⇓
I've gotta crow
#694
⇓
I'm just the cleverest fellow
#695
⇓
'Twas ever my fortune to know
#696
⇓
I taught a trick to my shadow
#697
⇓
To stick to the tip of my toe
#698
⇓
I've gotta crow
#699
⇓
I've gotta
#700
⇓
Crow!
#701
⇓
Christoph, did you feel that?
#702
⇓
Who are you?
#703
⇓
Welcome aboard, Peter.
#704
⇓
No, keep it going!
#705
⇓
Keep it going. That was so tight!
#706
⇓
No, no, no, keep it going. Keep it going.
#707
⇓
All right, let's go, McQuaid!
#708
⇓
All right! Yeah!
#709
⇓
I like it! I like the confidence, son!
#710
⇓
I know y'all seen this shit before.
#711
⇓
I know you've seen this shit before.
#712
⇓
Huge lead! Huge lead! We got this. All right.
#713
⇓
You're looking amped!
#714
⇓
Here we go.
#715
⇓
Here we go! Here we go!
#716
⇓
Hey, pick it up!
#717
⇓
Hey, no, McQuaid, pick it up. What are you doing?
#718
⇓
What are you doing? Pick it...
#719
⇓
What? McQuaid!
#720
⇓
Don't throw the baton, you jackass!
#721
⇓
Come on!
#722
⇓
McQuaid!
#723
⇓
Run that way!
#724
⇓
Spike that! Fuck you, Miles Davis!
#725
⇓
Let's go, God damn it! Let's do this!
#726
⇓
Let's go! Come on!
#727
⇓
Oh, my God.
#728
⇓
No, no.
#729
⇓
No, stop.
#730
⇓
Come here. Come here.
#731
⇓
Don't make a...
#732
⇓
That is a baton penis.
#733
⇓
Speak of the devil!
#734
⇓
Dude, that was awesome how you sabotaged that track meet, man.
#735
⇓
Organized sports are so fascist. It makes me sick.
#736
⇓
That's just what I do.
#737
⇓
Okay. Shit, man. See you around, all right?
#738
⇓
I don't get this school.
#739
⇓
That was awesome.
#740
⇓
Okay, so we stayed up all night making this.
#741
⇓
It's awesome. You're really going to like it.
#742
⇓
All yarn work was done by Jenko.
#743
⇓
Okay, Captain, look, the dealers are the popular kids,
#744
⇓
but they're not normal popular.
#745
⇓
They're these crunchy granola dudes that have convinced everyone
#746
⇓
that they're cool, and they're not cool.
#747
⇓
It's backwards and unnatural, and it's got to be stopped.
#748
⇓
Lead dealer, Eric Molson. Alpha dog.
#749
⇓
Sick chicks, killer steeze.
#750
⇓
Did the AIDS run this year.
#751
⇓
He's getting into Berkeley, early admish,
#752
⇓
and he totally gets me.
#753
⇓
Who put this together? Are you autistic?
#754
⇓
It is artistic, sir, because the thing is,
#755
⇓
- the yarn actually indicates... - We're compiling a list
#756
⇓
of suspicious types at school. The users are here.
#757
⇓
This kid was actually talking to a tree this morning.
#758
⇓
Cut the bullshit!
#759
⇓
I want to know who's the supplier.
#760
⇓
We don't know. That's why there's a question mark on his face.
#761
⇓
That's not the way his face looks. That's just a question mark.
#762
⇓
Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
#763
⇓
Simple.
#764
⇓
Sounds like you guys really cracked the whole case.
#765
⇓
Great job. You guys are on fire.
#766
⇓
- So proud. - Like you could do any better?
#767
⇓
We just brought down a group of wannabe thugs
#768
⇓
stripping down cars in the Garfield High metal shop.
#769
⇓
- What? - Meanwhile, you two were standing around
#770
⇓
finger-popping each other's assholes.
#771
⇓
We're not finger-popping each other's assholes.
#772
⇓
What we're doing is getting shit done.
#773
⇓
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
#774
⇓
I'm about to infiltrate a super high-tech
#775
⇓
drug manufacturing ring in the chemistry classroom.
#776
⇓
- Password! - Open the door!
#777
⇓
- You have to say the password. - I'm sorry. What?
#778
⇓
What are you...
#779
⇓
Geez.
#780
⇓
What are y'all doing? How'd you get a key in here?
#781
⇓
Ms. Griggs gave us one so we could work, tutor, deal Bakugan.
#782
⇓
Bakugan? You dealing drugs?
#783
⇓
- Let me see. You dealing drugs? - No.
#784
⇓
It's just a card game. It's, like, a hybrid card game.
#785
⇓
- See? They open up. - Battle Brawlers.
#786
⇓
- You're not doing anything illegal? - No.
#787
⇓
- What are you doing in here? - I'm here to study.
#788
⇓
Good. You could use it. You're pretty far behind, so...
#789
⇓
You're behind. I'm ahead.
#790
⇓
- I know everything. - Really?
#791
⇓
What's a covalent bond?
#792
⇓
Fuck you, man. I don't need to tell you.
#793
⇓
I wasn't trying to be rude. Sorry.
#794
⇓
I just... I don't think you know everything.
#795
⇓
I know everything.
#796
⇓
Okay.
#797
⇓
What kind of bullshit do they say about a covalent bond in this school?
#798
⇓
They say it's when two atoms share both their electrons.
#799
⇓
It helps them to stick together.
#800
⇓
I could help you out if you want, tutor you for the test.
#801
⇓
What are you doing with all those phones anyway?
#802
⇓
I crack and jailbreak kids' phones to try and save for college.
#803
⇓
You know, I switch their wireless carriers, get them restricted apps.
#804
⇓
Can you listen in on phone calls and stuff?
#805
⇓
No, no, I can't install a spyware to remotely monitor calls
#806
⇓
or anything that the mic picks up.
#807
⇓
- I can't do that at all. - Wait, you can't do it?
#808
⇓
No, I can't.
#809
⇓
- Is he being sarcastic? - I don't know.
#810
⇓
So you can.
#811
⇓
Liking comic books is popular.
#812
⇓
Environmental awareness, being tolerant.
#813
⇓
If I was just born 10 years later, I would have been the coolest person ever.
#814
⇓
I know. It's bullshit.
#815
⇓
You know what?
#816
⇓
I totally know the cause.
#817
⇓
Glee. Fuck you, Glee.
#818
⇓
Man, I got to say, this is kind of awesome.
#819
⇓
I might become popular. I might get in with the popular kids.
#820
⇓
We just have to do something wildly irresponsible to earn their trust.
#821
⇓
You saying we should throw a party?
#822
⇓
I'll invite Molly, and then Molly will invite Eric,
#823
⇓
and that'll be the quickest way for me to bro down with him.
#824
⇓
Wouldn't it be better if we both infiltrated the cool kids' group?
#825
⇓
I think it would be better if you get in
#826
⇓
with the nerdy kids and see what's going on over there.
#827
⇓
That'd be the best thing for the case.
#828
⇓
Yeah. I mean, I guess that makes sense.
#829
⇓
- Hello? - Hey. Is this Molly?
#830
⇓
Speaking.
#831
⇓
Hey. It's Schmidt.
#832
⇓
It's Doug Schmug McQuaid.
#833
⇓
Hey, man.
#834
⇓
It's so weird that you're calling me.
#835
⇓
I pretty much text except for when a random old relative calls.
#836
⇓
I was just calling 'cause we're costarring in this play together,
#837
⇓
- and... - Hello?
#838
⇓
Mom, get off the phone!
#839
⇓
Sorry, Doug,
#840
⇓
- my teen son. - Mom!
#841
⇓
I love you, honey, Dougie, Doug, Douglas McQuaid.
#842
⇓
Mom, so serious right now! Stop!
#843
⇓
I'm sorry. My mom's such a dick.
#844
⇓
She just, like, smothers me with affection and makes me feel like I'm five years old.
#845
⇓
Wow. You're a sharer. I dig that.
#846
⇓
Well, I'm 18 years old, and my mom still packs a lunch for me every day.
#847
⇓
There was this one month where she bought me 43 stuffed animals.
#848
⇓
The doctor thought I was gonna spontaneously grow a vagina.
#849
⇓
I didn't, though, just to be clear.
#850
⇓
Yeah, because you already had one.
#851
⇓
Exactly. I already had one.
#852
⇓
And you don't need two vaginas. You just don't.
#853
⇓
Although you could use one as a coin purse.
#854
⇓
I never got any stuffed animals growing up.
#855
⇓
Wait, actually, that's not true. I did.
#856
⇓
My dad gave me a stuffed puppy the day he bailed on us.
#857
⇓
I'm just f***ing with you.
#858
⇓
That is a weird joke.
#859
⇓
I thought your dad abandoned your family.
#860
⇓
No, he did walk out on us, though.
#861
⇓
But he didn't even leave me a stuffed puppy.
#862
⇓
Just broken dreams.
#863
⇓
Oh, man. Well, I guess, to that, I would say,
#864
⇓
well,
#865
⇓
that there are some good guys out there,
#866
⇓
and I wouldn't let, you know, one experience
#867
⇓
taint your memory.
#868
⇓
Oh, my God.
#869
⇓
Are you getting choked up? I'm sorry if I made you upset.
#870
⇓
No, it's just, you know, I don't like when guys are mean to girls.
#871
⇓
Yeah. Well, thanks.
#872
⇓
Normal transition here.
#873
⇓
Actually, I'm having a party next weekend. You should come!
#874
⇓
You and Eric and Juario, whatever.
#875
⇓
Do you mind if I just put, like, a posting on Facebook?
#876
⇓
Okay. Yeah, yeah!
#877
⇓
I should call you back.
#878
⇓
Well, all right, I'll see you at school. You're a great person.
#879
⇓
- Bye-bye. Bye. - Bye.
#880
⇓
What the f*** are you...
#881
⇓
Are y'all throwing a party?
#882
⇓
- What? - There's rumors in the Twittersphere.
#883
⇓
And if any of my officers
#884
⇓
are caught giving alcohol to minors,
#885
⇓
they'll find theyself in prison
#886
⇓
with a snorkel duct-taped to they mouth
#887
⇓
and me shitting down that snorkel.
#888
⇓
That's extremely vivid. Thank you.
#889
⇓
You're the best. You are the best.
#890
⇓
- Oh, my God. - We love you.
#891
⇓
- Enjoy the vineyard. - You boys be good, now.
#892
⇓
Yeah, I can't believe you guys did this for us.
#893
⇓
Bye!
#894
⇓
"We love you"? What are you doing? Why you saying "I love you" to my mom?
#895
⇓
- I'm in character. Shut up. - It's weird.
#896
⇓
Look, dude, it's kind of like we're brothers.
#897
⇓
Wait, how are we going to buy alcohol?
#898
⇓
Dude, I don't have a fake ID.
#899
⇓
How are we going to get drugs for the party?
#900
⇓
Oh, no.
#901
⇓
We got a pound of coke.
#902
⇓
We're trying to show them a good time, not ruin their f***ing lives.
#903
⇓
Pound of marijuana?
#904
⇓
- Best party ever. - Boo-yah!
#905
⇓
To a brilliant idea
#906
⇓
from my brilliant brother
#907
⇓
that I love so very much.
#908
⇓
And this is going to f***ing rock.
#909
⇓
- Cheers, man. - Cheers.
#910
⇓
- Who invited you guys? - I did!
#911
⇓
The party's here!
#912
⇓
- What's up, Zack? - Hey, buddy.
#913
⇓
What's up, Roman?
#914
⇓
This is crazy. This is, like, the craziest thing I've ever been a part of.
#915
⇓
Where is Eric, man? He said he'd be here.
#916
⇓
Do we have enough chips?
#917
⇓
Is this playlist too dance-y?
#918
⇓
- Feels too dance-y. - Too dance-y?
#919
⇓
- What are you talking about? - I don't know, it just feels dance-y.
#920
⇓
What are you doing?
#921
⇓
- That's my mom's Kokopelli vase. - I got it, I got it.
#922
⇓
Doug, Doug, hey!
#923
⇓
Hey, Paul Blart: Molly Cop.
#924
⇓
Such a bad joke.
#925
⇓
Terrible, terrible.
#926
⇓
- You guys know each other, right? - Yeah.
#927
⇓
Get ready, get ready, there's Eric. Wait for the signal.
#928
⇓
And then you come in here looking like a rock-solid 10.
#929
⇓
What?
#930
⇓
What's up, man, how you doing?
#931
⇓
Eco Suave.
#932
⇓
Whoa.
#933
⇓
Wow, so I'm really digging this decor.
#934
⇓
Very Native American.
#935
⇓
Yeah, our parents are actually
#936
⇓
- really into Native American... - Let's rock and roll.
#937
⇓
- Sorry. - What are y'all doing?
#938
⇓
- Come on. - Did you guys even see Eric?
#939
⇓
Seriously, did you not see Eric?
#940
⇓
No offense, man, but your brother sucks.
#941
⇓
Yo, this is butt. There's, like, no hot dudes here.
#942
⇓
- Man, let's bounce. - We're out of here, man.
#943
⇓
No, no, no, come on, you guys just got here, you just got here.
#944
⇓
Come on, let me at least give you a tour.
#945
⇓
Okay, boys, come on, we did it, we can do this, just go,
#946
⇓
just go as fast as you possibly can.
#947
⇓
Taking out the SIM card.
#948
⇓
Taking out the SIM card.
#949
⇓
Taking down Eric with the SIM card information
#950
⇓
Come on, CSI the shit out of this thing.
#951
⇓
- Are you drunk? - No.
#952
⇓
Have you even been drunk before?
#953
⇓
- No, but... - Give me this.
#954
⇓
- What? - Can we get some bitches up in here?
#955
⇓
'Cause it's just boys right now.
#956
⇓
No, you can't get any bitches up here.
#957
⇓
This is my parents' bedroom.
#958
⇓
- What the f***, bro? Some privacy! - Shit, shit, shit!
#959
⇓
And that is a really gross three-way.
#960
⇓
But what was the girl in the back doing?
#961
⇓
Warehouse rave in Ellsworth.
#962
⇓
Cool, yeah.
#963
⇓
Hey, man, thank you for the hospitality,
#964
⇓
but we got to get going. You know how it is, yeah?
#965
⇓
Dude, tell me about it.
#966
⇓
Is it ready? He's gonna leave right now.
#967
⇓
It's extracting right now.
#968
⇓
Dude, it's now or never! Is it ready or not?
#969
⇓
Read this. "Please wait. Extracting data from SIM card."
#970
⇓
Shit! It's a bust.
#971
⇓
- Keep it casual. - Yeah.
#972
⇓
- Go with the flow, dude. - Cool, man.
#973
⇓
- I don't like to make plans or whatever. - You got it.
#974
⇓
- Thank you again, though, man. - All right.
#975
⇓
Eric, Eric, Eric. Hey, man, what's up?
#976
⇓
Hey, why you here, Scott?
#977
⇓
What, Kennedy High isn't having any parties tonight?
#978
⇓
No, I heard you guys were partying with some new stuff.
#979
⇓
Wanted to know your hookup so me and my boys can get in on it.
#980
⇓
Got other commitments on that front, so, you know...
#981
⇓
I wasn't asking.
#982
⇓
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
#983
⇓
Take five, take five, man, let me get this. I got this.
#984
⇓
- Yeah? You sure? - I got this one.
#985
⇓
Hey, big player, I don't know who you are.
#986
⇓
- Don't worry about who I am. - I'm worried about it.
#987
⇓
- Why? - 'Cause you're at my party now, dude.
#988
⇓
This is my temple, this is where I come to find peace, dawg,
#989
⇓
and you're coming in here like an emotional bull in a china shop,
#990
⇓
metaphorically knocking over vases, messing with my crew,
#991
⇓
and I'm like, "What, Scott, what, Scott, what, what, what, what, Scott?"
#992
⇓
- It's that kind of party? - Yeah, dude.
#993
⇓
Matter of fact, it's getting hot in here, huh?
#994
⇓
- No, it's getting real. - It's getting very real.
#995
⇓
Yeah. It's like seven strangers living in one house. True story.
#996
⇓
- You want Real World? - Yeah, let's do it, man.
#997
⇓
- Come on. What's your Real... - Here's Real World.
#998
⇓
What was that? Did you hear that?
#999
⇓
Real enough for you?
#1000
⇓
Combine Images
Clear Selection
« Prev
Page 1 of 2
Next »
Combined Images