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EuroTrip (2004)
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EuroTrip (2004)
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Season 1, Episode 1 — EuroTrip (2004)
Congratulations, Hudson High Class of2004.
#1
⇓
There she is. Fiona!
#2
⇓
Bye.
#3
⇓
- Hey. - Hey!
#4
⇓
Hey, you.
#5
⇓
- Congratulations, graduate. - Thanks, baby.
#6
⇓
And congratulations to you, Cooper.
#7
⇓
- Thanks, baby! - Nice try.
#8
⇓
All right. I'll see you at Wade's party tonight?
#9
⇓
- See you then. - All right.
#10
⇓
So, it's just you and me for the entire summer.
#11
⇓
Next year you graduate, join me at college. Just like we planned.
#12
⇓
- Scott, we need to talk. - Yeah? About what?
#13
⇓
About me dumping you.
#14
⇓
There he is! The graduate and his beautiful girlfriend.
#15
⇓
- Okay. - Smile, you two!
#16
⇓
- Action! - Dad, Mom, Grandma, Uncle Moke.
#17
⇓
I'm gonna need a minute here, okay?
#18
⇓
What do you mean, you're dumping me?
#19
⇓
Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.
#20
⇓
What do you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you.
#21
⇓
I know. That's what makes this so hard.
#22
⇓
Looking good, you guys.
#23
⇓
Scotty, it's not you. It's me.
#24
⇓
There I go, lying again. No, it was you.
#25
⇓
- You're just so predictable. - Smile.
#26
⇓
So, that's it?
#27
⇓
Here's your letter jacket back. Goodbye.
#28
⇓
This isn't mine.
#29
⇓
Now, she's a keeper, huh?
#30
⇓
Oh, wow.
#31
⇓
Oh, my God.
#32
⇓
Fiona!
#33
⇓
Let's see that again.
#34
⇓
Fiona!
#35
⇓
This is just so brutal.
#36
⇓
And yet I can't look away. Bert, play it again. Come on.
#37
⇓
Fiona!
#38
⇓
Bert, get out of here.
#39
⇓
Okay. See you, Coop.
#40
⇓
- All right. Stay Black, Bert. - Yeah.
#41
⇓
"Fiona!"
#42
⇓
Mail, motherfucker!
#43
⇓
Hey, I got one from Mieke.
#44
⇓
"Happy Herzlichen."
#45
⇓
You still writing that guy? I thought that was just for German class.
#46
⇓
It was at first, but we're actually becoming pretty good friends.
#47
⇓
He's a really cool guy.
#48
⇓
"Dear Mieke, greetings from your American pen pal."
#49
⇓
Scotty, Girl Scouts have pen pals.
#50
⇓
Listen to yourself, all right?
#51
⇓
No. You met "a cool guy on the Internet."
#52
⇓
Okay, this is how these sexual predators work.
#53
⇓
Next thing you know, he'll want to "arrange a meeting,"
#54
⇓
where he will gas you and stuff you in the back of his van
#55
⇓
and make a wind chime out of your genitals.
#56
⇓
- Come on. Let's go to Wade's. - All right. Screw it.
#57
⇓
Let's go. I'm not gonna let Fiona ruin my graduation night.
#58
⇓
Auf Wiedersehen, Mieke.
#59
⇓
Hey. What's up, losers?
#60
⇓
- What's up, Jenny? - What's up, dude?
#61
⇓
Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's a whore.
#62
⇓
Well, that's very sweet of you. Thanks.
#63
⇓
All right, enough Fiona talk.
#64
⇓
Look around. There's gotta be a hundred drunk girls here.
#65
⇓
We should be trying to have sex with every one of them.
#66
⇓
- Hello? Mixed company? - What?
#67
⇓
- I'm a girl. - No, you're not.
#68
⇓
- You're just a cool guy with long hair. - Where's your evil twin brother at?
#69
⇓
Jenny!
#70
⇓
There he is.
#71
⇓
Hey, Jamie. In fine form, I see.
#72
⇓
Why'd you get me gin and tonic? I hate gin.
#73
⇓
- You do? - You guys are the worst twins ever.
#74
⇓
Chug! Chug! Chug!
#75
⇓
- When are you guys taking off? - Tomorrow morning.
#76
⇓
Hey, Wade!
#77
⇓
Great party, buddy.
#78
⇓
Man, I am so excited.
#79
⇓
A whole summer, backpacking around Europe.
#80
⇓
You should've come with us instead of working for Dr. Dad, Scotty.
#81
⇓
It's gonna be so awesome!
#82
⇓
Yeah. I have planned every detail of the trip to maximize the fun.
#83
⇓
You brought a guidebook to a party?
#84
⇓
- Do you wanna see my itinerary? - Do you wanna see my balls?
#85
⇓
You guys decide where you're gonna go first?
#86
⇓
Paris. I can't wait.
#87
⇓
I heard, two years ago, Nicky Jager's sister, Debbie,
#88
⇓
met this really wealthy French guy
#89
⇓
and they spent a month sailing the Mediterranean on his yacht.
#90
⇓
Isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?
#91
⇓
Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy?
#92
⇓
- That sounds a little gay. - It's not gay. I'm a girl.
#93
⇓
- Kind of gay. - It's a little gay.
#94
⇓
All right, I gotta piss like a pregnant woman.
#95
⇓
Hey, listen up, everybody.
#96
⇓
Gotta a special thing I'd like to do tonight.
#97
⇓
Going to play a little song for you
#98
⇓
about the nastiest, freakiest little sex puppet I know...
#99
⇓
Fiona.
#100
⇓
This one's for you, baby. Happy anniversary.
#101
⇓
Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me
#102
⇓
Do it in my van every Sunday
#103
⇓
She tells him she's in church But she doesn't go
#104
⇓
Still she's on her knees And Scotty doesn't know
#105
⇓
Oh, Scotty doesn't know
#106
⇓
So don't tell Scotty, Scotty doesn't know
#107
⇓
Scotty doesn't know
#108
⇓
I hope we're just as popular in college as we were in high school.
#109
⇓
- We will be. - I know.
#110
⇓
Who needs more Chablis?
#111
⇓
- Candy, wanna come with? - No, I'll stay here.
#112
⇓
Well, there's your R rating right there.
#113
⇓
Holy cow! This isn't where I parked my car.
#114
⇓
I can't believe he's so trusting
#115
⇓
While I'm right behind you thrusting
#116
⇓
'Cause Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know
#117
⇓
Cooper Harris, you're a pig!
#118
⇓
Wait, Candy, you should clean that off before you go.
#119
⇓
Clean what off?
#120
⇓
You've got a little something on you.
#121
⇓
Where?
#122
⇓
Like there.
#123
⇓
It's like a smudge or something.
#124
⇓
Where?
#125
⇓
It's like dirt or something. Just go like this.
#126
⇓
Is it off?
#127
⇓
No. Keep rubbing it.
#128
⇓
I did her on his birthday
#129
⇓
Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know
#130
⇓
Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know
#131
⇓
Don't tell Scotty, Scotty doesn't know
#132
⇓
No, it's just not coming off.
#133
⇓
What is it?
#134
⇓
Well, it may be tree sap or something. Try pinching it.
#135
⇓
No, it's just not coming off. I'll tell you what,
#136
⇓
lick your fingers, get some saliva going.
#137
⇓
Like this?
#138
⇓
Yeah.
#139
⇓
Just-- Again, not enough saliva.
#140
⇓
- Is it off yet? - Okay, fine. I'll do it. Come here.
#141
⇓
Oh, my God. Candy!
#142
⇓
Cooper!
#143
⇓
Hey.
#144
⇓
This isn't where I parked my car.
#145
⇓
Scotty doesn't know...
#146
⇓
Hey.
#147
⇓
Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know!
#148
⇓
This band rocks! Yeah!
#149
⇓
Scotty doesn't know...
#150
⇓
Mail, motherfucker.
#151
⇓
Hey, Mieke. "Dear Scott,
#152
⇓
I was very sad to hear about your lady woman Fiona dumping you.
#153
⇓
Since you no longer have a girlfriend, maybe I could come to America
#154
⇓
and we could get to know each other better.
#155
⇓
Perhaps we could...
#156
⇓
zussamen."
#157
⇓
What the fuck is a zussamen?
#158
⇓
"Arrange a meeting."
#159
⇓
No, no. No, come on. Cooper was right.
#160
⇓
This guy wants to have sex with me.
#161
⇓
"Listen, Mieke. I don't want to arrange any meetings with you,
#162
⇓
you sick, German freak.
#163
⇓
So please keep your hands off my genitals,
#164
⇓
and never write to me again, and don't come to America.
#165
⇓
Goodbye."
#166
⇓
I'm never drinking again.
#167
⇓
That's nice.
#168
⇓
- Bert, what are you doing? - Reading your email.
#169
⇓
Don't do that.
#170
⇓
Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
#171
⇓
Oh, I'm sorry, but somebody pissed all over mine last night.
#172
⇓
Wow. I can't believe this German chick wants to come here and hook up with you.
#173
⇓
I don't think so, buddy. Mieke's a guy.
#174
⇓
No, it says right here, " Trauriges Mädchen."
#175
⇓
"I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona."
#176
⇓
Fucking A, Scott. I'm taking Intro to German and even I know that.
#177
⇓
Come here. He sent me a picture, retardo.
#178
⇓
See? That's a picture of Mieke and that's his cute cousin, Jan.
#179
⇓
No, retardo. That's Jan, a man's name.
#180
⇓
And that's not "Mike," it's "Mieke,"
#181
⇓
a common German girl's name, similar to our Michelle.
#182
⇓
I hope you wrote her back and told her to come and visit.
#183
⇓
You didn't? You thought she was a guy.
#184
⇓
I'm getting the video camera.
#185
⇓
- What an asshole! - No.
#186
⇓
No.
#187
⇓
No.
#188
⇓
No!
#189
⇓
"Address blocked"? "Email not delivered"?
#190
⇓
No. No, come on!
#191
⇓
Hey, Mom made waffles.
#192
⇓
- What's going on? - I'm in love with my pen pal.
#193
⇓
I'm in love with Mieke.
#194
⇓
Okay. Okay.
#195
⇓
You know what? I was actually expecting this.
#196
⇓
And frankly, no, listen, I'm flattered you picked me to come out to first.
#197
⇓
And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause...
#198
⇓
- I think they already know. - No, you idiot. Mieke is a girl.
#199
⇓
No, no, I get it. Yeah. He's the girl, and you're the girl,
#200
⇓
and sometimes you're both the girl.
#201
⇓
Right? Right? That's hot.
#202
⇓
But whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.
#203
⇓
Will you stop? Look, come here. Look at this picture.
#204
⇓
Wow. Who's the hot chick?
#205
⇓
That's Mieke. I mean, "Meeka."
#206
⇓
Wait, that's Mieke? That's who you've been writing to all this time?
#207
⇓
Yeah, you know, until last night, when I took your advice
#208
⇓
and told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
#209
⇓
Given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.
#210
⇓
- This is a total disaster. - Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
#211
⇓
Though she is really hot.
#212
⇓
You're not listening. I don't even care what she looks like.
#213
⇓
Mieke and I, we had this incredible bond.
#214
⇓
I told her things I couldn't even tell you.
#215
⇓
- Like what? - Nothing. It's a figure of speech.
#216
⇓
- Seriously. What? - Nothing. The point is--
#217
⇓
- You like me better, right? - Will you stop? Listen.
#218
⇓
This girl is not only smart and funny and stunningly beautiful,
#219
⇓
but until I screwed up,
#220
⇓
she actually wanted to come all the way to America just to be with me.
#221
⇓
- So do something about it. - What can I do?
#222
⇓
She blocked her email account. Her phone number's not listed.
#223
⇓
The only thing I know is that she lives in Berlin.
#224
⇓
So go to Berlin.
#225
⇓
- I can't just go to Berlin, Coop. - Why not?
#226
⇓
Because I just can't, okay? I'm supposed to work for my dad this summer.
#227
⇓
That stuff looks really good on my med school application.
#228
⇓
Oh, Jesus, Scotty.
#229
⇓
Man, Fiona was right. You're so predictable.
#230
⇓
- I'm going to Germany. - No. We're going to Germany.
#231
⇓
- How are we going to get to Germany? - Don't worry. I've got it covered.
#232
⇓
- We're going to be couriers? - It's the best way to get a cheap flight.
#233
⇓
All we have to do is carry their packages and then drop them off when we get there.
#234
⇓
- My cousin did it when he went to India. - Yeah?
#235
⇓
Yeah. Of course, he ended up using a public restroom in New Delhi
#236
⇓
and they had to cut off his leg. You know.
#237
⇓
But he got there cheap, is what I'm saying.
#238
⇓
Okay, I don't have anything to Germany for a week.
#239
⇓
But I can get you both to London today for $118.
#240
⇓
- Anything else? - Europe is the size of the Eastwood Mall.
#241
⇓
- We can walk to Berlin from there. - Cooper, England's an island.
#242
⇓
Okay, swim. Whatever. We'll take it.
#243
⇓
Hey. Thanks for coming with me.
#244
⇓
I know you had that internship at the law firm this summer.
#245
⇓
Forget about the law firm.
#246
⇓
And don't thank me. I should be thanking you.
#247
⇓
This trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me
#248
⇓
to broaden my sexual horizons.
#249
⇓
- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about crazy European sex.
#250
⇓
You know America was founded by prudes.
#251
⇓
Prudes who left Europe because they hated
#252
⇓
all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on.
#253
⇓
And now I, Cooper Harris,
#254
⇓
will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright,
#255
⇓
which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.
#256
⇓
You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you?
#257
⇓
It's my passion.
#258
⇓
Come on. Come on.
#259
⇓
The adventure begins.
#260
⇓
Welcome to jolly old England.
#261
⇓
Yeah, breathe that sweet, sexy, European air.
#262
⇓
What is that?
#263
⇓
It's the phone they gave me at the law firm.
#264
⇓
Yeah, it's pretty neat.
#265
⇓
- Works anywhere. - Yeah?
#266
⇓
Yeah. Excuse me.
#267
⇓
Cooper here.
#268
⇓
Hello, Mr. Walters.
#269
⇓
Yes, sir, I'm down in file storage.
#270
⇓
Hang on one second.
#271
⇓
No, sir, I can't find the Gutterman file anywhere.
#272
⇓
No, sir, I can't find the Gutterman file anywhere.
#272
⇓
No, sir, I can't find the Gutterman file anywhere.
#272
⇓
Yes, sir, I'll keep looking. I don't rest until I find it.
#273
⇓
Yes, sir, I'll keep looking. I don't rest until I find it.
#273
⇓
Yes, sir, I'll keep looking. I don't rest until I find it.
#273
⇓
Didn't tell your boss you were leaving the country?
#274
⇓
Didn't tell your boss you were leaving the country?
#274
⇓
Didn't tell your boss you were leaving the country?
#274
⇓
- They would've stopped paying me. - Right.
#275
⇓
- They would've stopped paying me. - Right.
#275
⇓
- They would've stopped paying me. - Right.
#275
⇓
This seemed easier.
#276
⇓
This seemed easier.
#276
⇓
This seemed easier.
#276
⇓
- So, where to? - I don't know.
#277
⇓
- So, where to? - I don't know.
#277
⇓
- So, where to? - I don't know.
#277
⇓
First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow morning.
#278
⇓
First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow morning.
#278
⇓
First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow morning.
#278
⇓
What do you wanna do? Got the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace.
#279
⇓
What do you wanna do? Got the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace.
#279
⇓
What do you wanna do? Got the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace.
#279
⇓
There's no drinking age.
#280
⇓
There's no drinking age.
#280
⇓
There's no drinking age.
#280
⇓
- There you go. - Come on.
#281
⇓
- There you go. - Come on.
#281
⇓
- There you go. - Come on.
#281
⇓
Hey! The Feisty Goat.
#282
⇓
Hey! The Feisty Goat.
#282
⇓
Hey! The Feisty Goat.
#282
⇓
All right.
#283
⇓
All right.
#283
⇓
All right.
#283
⇓
What do you wanna...
#284
⇓
What do you wanna...
#284
⇓
What do you wanna...
#284
⇓
Soccer hooligans.
#285
⇓
Soccer hooligans.
#285
⇓
Soccer hooligans.
#285
⇓
Hey. This isn't where I parked my car.
#286
⇓
Hey. This isn't where I parked my car.
#286
⇓
Hey. This isn't where I parked my car.
#286
⇓
Oi!
#287
⇓
Oi!
#287
⇓
Oi!
#287
⇓
Who the bloody hell are you?
#288
⇓
Who the bloody hell are you?
#288
⇓
Who the bloody hell are you?
#288
⇓
This is a private members' bar, exclusively for the supporters
#289
⇓
This is a private members' bar, exclusively for the supporters
#289
⇓
This is a private members' bar, exclusively for the supporters
#289
⇓
of the greatest football team in the world.
#290
⇓
of the greatest football team in the world.
#290
⇓
of the greatest football team in the world.
#290
⇓
Manchester United.
#291
⇓
Manchester United.
#291
⇓
Manchester United.
#291
⇓
Now please, enlighten me.
#292
⇓
Now please, enlighten me.
#292
⇓
Now please, enlighten me.
#292
⇓
Who the fuck are you?
#293
⇓
Who the fuck are you?
#293
⇓
Who the fuck are you?
#293
⇓
That is a good question, and... Scotty?
#294
⇓
That is a good question, and... Scotty?
#294
⇓
That is a good question, and... Scotty?
#294
⇓
We're the Manchester United Fan Club...
#295
⇓
We're the Manchester United Fan Club...
#295
⇓
We're the Manchester United Fan Club...
#295
⇓
from Ohio.
#296
⇓
from Ohio.
#296
⇓
from Ohio.
#296
⇓
If you're Manchester United supporters,
#297
⇓
If you're Manchester United supporters,
#297
⇓
If you're Manchester United supporters,
#297
⇓
sing the Manchester United song.
#298
⇓
sing the Manchester United song.
#298
⇓
sing the Manchester United song.
#298
⇓
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
#299
⇓
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
#299
⇓
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
#299
⇓
- I'm not much of a singer... - Sing!
#300
⇓
- I'm not much of a singer... - Sing!
#300
⇓
- I'm not much of a singer... - Sing!
#300
⇓
My baby takes the morning train
#301
⇓
My baby takes the morning train
#301
⇓
My baby takes the morning train
#301
⇓
He works from 9:00 to 5:00 and then
#302
⇓
He works from 9:00 to 5:00 and then
#302
⇓
He works from 9:00 to 5:00 and then
#302
⇓
He takes another home again
#303
⇓
He takes another home again
#303
⇓
He takes another home again
#303
⇓
To find me...
#304
⇓
To find me...
#304
⇓
To find me...
#304
⇓
Watching the Manchester United Football team,
#305
⇓
Watching the Manchester United Football team,
#305
⇓
Watching the Manchester United Football team,
#305
⇓
the best freaking team in all the land!
#306
⇓
the best freaking team in all the land!
#306
⇓
Pretty good. Pretty dang good, lads!
#307
⇓
Pretty good. Pretty dang good, lads!
#307
⇓
Yeah!
#308
⇓
Yeah!
#308
⇓
I've unblocked your email address,
#309
⇓
I've unblocked your email address,
#309
⇓
but this Scott is not responding.
#310
⇓
but this Scott is not responding.
#310
⇓
He was the one.
#311
⇓
He was the one.
#311
⇓
I was going to give myself to him.
#312
⇓
I was going to give myself to him.
#312
⇓
Perhaps you should give yourself to someone else...
#313
⇓
Perhaps you should give yourself to someone else...
#313
⇓
Fräulein.
#314
⇓
Fräulein.
#314
⇓
I'm never drinking again.
#315
⇓
I'm never drinking again.
#315
⇓
- Coop, wake up. - Man, that was a wild night.
#316
⇓
- Coop, wake up. - Man, that was a wild night.
#316
⇓
You think?
#317
⇓
You think?
#317
⇓
Scotty, where the hell are we going?
#318
⇓
Scotty, where the hell are we going?
#318
⇓
Don't worry. If anything bad happens, my parents will find us.
#319
⇓
Don't worry. If anything bad happens, my parents will find us.
#319
⇓
Honey, where's Scotty?
#320
⇓
Honey, where's Scotty?
#320
⇓
- Cooper said they were going camping. - Oh, that's nice.
#321
⇓
- Cooper said they were going camping. - Oh, that's nice.
#321
⇓
- And where's Bert? - Fuck if I know.
#322
⇓
- And where's Bert? - Fuck if I know.
#322
⇓
Hey! How are you, you scallywag?
#323
⇓
Hey! How are you, you scallywag?
#323
⇓
Look, given the current geopolitical climate,
#324
⇓
Look, given the current geopolitical climate,
#324
⇓
all European countries should have a seat at the table.
#325
⇓
all European countries should have a seat at the table.
#325
⇓
- Right. - Except those fucking Ities.
#326
⇓
- Right. - Except those fucking Ities.
#326
⇓
I hate them Italian bastards.
#327
⇓
I hate them Italian bastards.
#327
⇓
- You know what I mean? - Excuse me.
#328
⇓
- You know what I mean? - Excuse me.
#328
⇓
- Hello, boyo. - What the hell happened last night?
#329
⇓
- Hello, boyo. - What the hell happened last night?
#329
⇓
You got steamed up, pissed as a fart.
#330
⇓
You got steamed up, pissed as a fart.
#330
⇓
Too much sauce, son. Don't worry.
#331
⇓
Too much sauce, son. Don't worry.
#331
⇓
I come and got ya so you wouldn't miss the trip.
#332
⇓
I come and got ya so you wouldn't miss the trip.
#332
⇓
- What trip? Where are we going? - What do you mean, where are we going?
#333
⇓
- What trip? Where are we going? - What do you mean, where are we going?
#333
⇓
We're going to see the Mighty Reds do the Frogs in Paris.
#334
⇓
We're going to see the Mighty Reds do the Frogs in Paris.
#334
⇓
- Aren't we, boys? - Yeah!
#335
⇓
- Aren't we, boys? - Yeah!
#335
⇓
Why are you yelling at me?
#336
⇓
Why are you yelling at me?
#336
⇓
So I tell the swamp donkey to suck it
#337
⇓
So I tell the swamp donkey to suck it
#337
⇓
before I give her a tonk in the tradesman's entrance
#338
⇓
before I give her a tonk in the tradesman's entrance
#338
⇓
and have her lick me yarbles.
#339
⇓
and have her lick me yarbles.
#339
⇓
Wow. You guys are on like a completely different level of swearing over here.
#340
⇓
Wow. You guys are on like a completely different level of swearing over here.
#340
⇓
Coop? Cooper, we're going to Paris.
#341
⇓
Coop? Cooper, we're going to Paris.
#341
⇓
- I know. Cecil told me. - Mieke's in Berlin.
#342
⇓
- I know. Cecil told me. - Mieke's in Berlin.
#342
⇓
We're not going to Berlin. What are we gonna do? We need a plan.
#343
⇓
We're not going to Berlin. What are we gonna do? We need a plan.
#343
⇓
See what I'm talking about? This is predictable Scotty talking.
#344
⇓
See what I'm talking about? This is predictable Scotty talking.
#344
⇓
Relax. Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. It's a nothing commute.
#345
⇓
Relax. Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. It's a nothing commute.
#345
⇓
This is why France and Germany have always been allies.
#346
⇓
This is why France and Germany have always been allies.
#346
⇓
Allies.
#347
⇓
Allies.
#347
⇓
The twins. The twins are in Paris, right? We could give them a call.
#348
⇓
The twins. The twins are in Paris, right? We could give them a call.
#348
⇓
They could help. Let me see your phone. I'll give them a call.
#349
⇓
They could help. Let me see your phone. I'll give them a call.
#349
⇓
All right, but I'm really only supposed to use this for business calls. I don't--
#350
⇓
All right, but I'm really only supposed to use this for business calls. I don't--
#350
⇓
You're on the wrong side of the road, you snail-eating puffs.
#351
⇓
You're on the wrong side of the road, you snail-eating puffs.
#351
⇓
Fuck off! Go on, you Gaelic fucking garlic-breath tossers!
#352
⇓
Fuck off! Go on, you Gaelic fucking garlic-breath tossers!
#352
⇓
Piss off! Get in here and say that, you Froggy Itie shities!
#353
⇓
Piss off! Get in here and say that, you Froggy Itie shities!
#353
⇓
Fucking beep? We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose!
#354
⇓
Fucking beep? We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose!
#354
⇓
Get out of the way. Piss off!
#355
⇓
Get out of the way. Piss off!
#355
⇓
Hey, lads! That wanker's got a Frog football shirt on.
#356
⇓
Hey, lads! That wanker's got a Frog football shirt on.
#356
⇓
Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking!
#357
⇓
Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking!
#357
⇓
Come on, lads. It's going off!
#358
⇓
Come on, lads. It's going off!
#358
⇓
All right. Twins said they'd meet us here.
#359
⇓
All right. Twins said they'd meet us here.
#359
⇓
- Hey. There they are. - Look at that.
#360
⇓
- Hey. There they are. - Look at that.
#360
⇓
Come on. Jenny!
#361
⇓
Come on. Jenny!
#361
⇓
- Jamie! - Hey.
#362
⇓
- Jamie! - Hey.
#362
⇓
- Come here! - No, no, no!
#363
⇓
- Come here! - No, no, no!
#363
⇓
Scott...
#364
⇓
Scott...
#364
⇓
Thank you. Thank you. What is that, a new camera?
#365
⇓
Thank you. Thank you. What is that, a new camera?
#365
⇓
This isn't just a camera, this is a Leica M7.
#366
⇓
This isn't just a camera, this is a Leica M7.
#366
⇓
- Yeah. - Uber-sensitive exposure settings,
#367
⇓
- Yeah. - Uber-sensitive exposure settings,
#367
⇓
legendary cloth shutter system.
#368
⇓
legendary cloth shutter system.
#368
⇓
- Let me see that thing. - No can do.
#369
⇓
- Let me see that thing. - No can do.
#369
⇓
I spent the last four years tutoring lacrosse players to pay for it,
#370
⇓
I spent the last four years tutoring lacrosse players to pay for it,
#370
⇓
so nobody touches my camera but me.
#371
⇓
so nobody touches my camera but me.
#371
⇓
- So it's like your wiener. - No, it's not like my--
#372
⇓
- So it's like your wiener. - No, it's not like my--
#372
⇓
- Jenny. - Cooper, leave him alone.
#373
⇓
- Jenny. - Cooper, leave him alone.
#373
⇓
Wow, Scotty. I still can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl.
#374
⇓
Wow, Scotty. I still can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl.
#374
⇓
Wait, not just any girl. Show her the picture, Scotty.
#375
⇓
Wait, not just any girl. Show her the picture, Scotty.
#375
⇓
She makes every girl in our high school look like a walrus.
#376
⇓
She makes every girl in our high school look like a walrus.
#376
⇓
- I'm a girl from your high school. - No, I mean "girl" girls.
#377
⇓
- I'm a girl from your high school. - No, I mean "girl" girls.
#377
⇓
Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris.
#378
⇓
Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris.
#378
⇓
- Let's go to the Louvre. - To the Louvre!
#379
⇓
- Let's go to the Louvre. - To the Louvre!
#379
⇓
So, you guys wanna stay here,
#380
⇓
So, you guys wanna stay here,
#380
⇓
or should we check out the huge line at the Eiffel Tower?
#381
⇓
or should we check out the huge line at the Eiffel Tower?
#381
⇓
Here's a fun fact: Voltaire contracted syphilis just two blocks from here.
#382
⇓
Here's a fun fact: Voltaire contracted syphilis just two blocks from here.
#382
⇓
- Should we go? - Can we please just get out of here?
#383
⇓
- Should we go? - Can we please just get out of here?
#383
⇓
- This guy's really creeping me out. - Who, Robot Man?
#384
⇓
- This guy's really creeping me out. - Who, Robot Man?
#384
⇓
He's just trying to feed his robot family.
#385
⇓
He's just trying to feed his robot family.
#385
⇓
- I really don't like him. - Why?
#386
⇓
- I really don't like him. - Why?
#386
⇓
Because he's doing this?
#387
⇓
Because he's doing this?
#387
⇓
All right. Okay, seriously, don't do that.
#388
⇓
All right. Okay, seriously, don't do that.
#388
⇓
Cooper. Do not hate me.
#389
⇓
Cooper. Do not hate me.
#389
⇓
I am familiar with over 600 dance moves and I am programmed to get...
#390
⇓
I am familiar with over 600 dance moves and I am programmed to get...
#390
⇓
freaky.
#391
⇓
freaky.
#391
⇓
You're just upset because people like me better. It's okay.
#392
⇓
You're just upset because people like me better. It's okay.
#392
⇓
Fight! Fight!
#393
⇓
Fight! Fight!
#393
⇓
Sweep the leg, Scott!
#394
⇓
Sweep the leg, Scott!
#394
⇓
Don't look in his eyes, Scotty. Don't look in his eyes.
#395
⇓
Don't look in his eyes, Scotty. Don't look in his eyes.
#395
⇓
That was not cool.
#396
⇓
That was not cool.
#396
⇓
Guys, let's go. Come on.
#397
⇓
Guys, let's go. Come on.
#397
⇓
Error! Error! Error!
#398
⇓
Error! Error! Error!
#398
⇓
How cool is this? It's a shame we only get to spend one day together.
#399
⇓
How cool is this? It's a shame we only get to spend one day together.
#399
⇓
- Why don't you come to Berlin with us? - No.
#400
⇓
- Why don't you come to Berlin with us? - No.
#400
⇓
Jamie, come on. In a few months, we're all going off to different colleges.
#401
⇓
Jamie, come on. In a few months, we're all going off to different colleges.
#401
⇓
This could be the last chance that the four of us are together like this.
#402
⇓
This could be the last chance that the four of us are together like this.
#402
⇓
Plus, we're in Europe, huh?
#403
⇓
Plus, we're in Europe, huh?
#403
⇓
This should be the trip of a lifetime. There's no way we should split up.
#404
⇓
This should be the trip of a lifetime. There's no way we should split up.
#404
⇓
All right, this table is now Europe, okay?
#405
⇓
All right, this table is now Europe, okay?
#405
⇓
- Okay. - Excuse me.
#406
⇓
- Okay. - Excuse me.
#406
⇓
We are right here, in Paris, and I have got to get to Mieke,
#407
⇓
We are right here, in Paris, and I have got to get to Mieke,
#407
⇓
who is over here in Berlin.
#408
⇓
who is over here in Berlin.
#408
⇓
And Jamie, if you come with us,
#409
⇓
And Jamie, if you come with us,
#409
⇓
I'm sure there's a ton of great stuff to see along the way.
#410
⇓
I'm sure there's a ton of great stuff to see along the way.
#410
⇓
- We can go to Denmark. - I love Denmark.
#411
⇓
- We can go to Denmark. - I love Denmark.
#411
⇓
- We've gotta hit Amsterdam. - Definitely.
#412
⇓
- We've gotta hit Amsterdam. - Definitely.
#412
⇓
And the cathedral at Camaret.
#413
⇓
And the cathedral at Camaret.
#413
⇓
- Yeah. - Maybe. We'll see.
#414
⇓
- Yeah. - Maybe. We'll see.
#414
⇓
- Whatever. - If there's time.
#415
⇓
- Whatever. - If there's time.
#415
⇓
Come on. I really want you to be there when I meet Mieke.
#416
⇓
Come on. I really want you to be there when I meet Mieke.
#416
⇓
Fine.
#417
⇓
Fine.
#417
⇓
- Excellent! - All right.
#418
⇓
- Excellent! - All right.
#418
⇓
A toast.
#419
⇓
A toast.
#419
⇓
- A toast. - Yes.
#420
⇓
- A toast. - Yes.
#420
⇓
- To Mieke. - To Europe.
#421
⇓
- To Mieke. - To Europe.
#421
⇓
To Europe!
#422
⇓
To Europe!
#422
⇓
- Berlin, here we come. - All right.
#423
⇓
- Berlin, here we come. - All right.
#423
⇓
You better let me hold on to those.
#424
⇓
You better let me hold on to those.
#424
⇓
- What the hell is that? - It's a traveler's money belt.
#425
⇓
- What the hell is that? - It's a traveler's money belt.
#425
⇓
Frommer's says as long as you have one of these, no one can rob you of anything.
#426
⇓
Frommer's says as long as you have one of these, no one can rob you of anything.
#426
⇓
- Except your dignity. - No, you just put that in your...
#427
⇓
- Except your dignity. - No, you just put that in your...
#427
⇓
- Wait. What? - Come on, guidebook. Let's go.
#428
⇓
- Wait. What? - Come on, guidebook. Let's go.
#428
⇓
Check it out. European ass.
#429
⇓
Check it out. European ass.
#429
⇓
What's up?
#430
⇓
What's up?
#430
⇓
Jesus, Jenny. I thought you were some girl.
#431
⇓
Jesus, Jenny. I thought you were some girl.
#431
⇓
Come on. Platform four.
#432
⇓
Come on. Platform four.
#432
⇓
Thanks.
#433
⇓
Thanks.
#433
⇓
Damn.
#434
⇓
Damn.
#434
⇓
I believe this is yours.
#435
⇓
I believe this is yours.
#435
⇓
Pleased to meet you. My name is Christoph.
#436
⇓
Pleased to meet you. My name is Christoph.
#436
⇓
- Jenny, let's go! - Come on. Move it!
#437
⇓
- Jenny, let's go! - Come on. Move it!
#437
⇓
Those are my friends. We're supposed to get on a train to Berlin.
#438
⇓
Those are my friends. We're supposed to get on a train to Berlin.
#438
⇓
- Jenny! - I'm coming!
#439
⇓
- Jenny! - I'm coming!
#439
⇓
So, it was really nice to meet you.
#440
⇓
So, it was really nice to meet you.
#440
⇓
The pleasure was all mine...
#441
⇓
The pleasure was all mine...
#441
⇓
Jennifer.
#442
⇓
Jennifer.
#442
⇓
Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me
#443
⇓
Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me
#443
⇓
Do it in my van on Sundays
#444
⇓
Do it in my van on Sundays
#444
⇓
Tells him she's...
#445
⇓
Tells him she's...
#445
⇓
What?
#446
⇓
What?
#446
⇓
You gotta admit, it's a really catchy tune.
#447
⇓
You gotta admit, it's a really catchy tune.
#447
⇓
Tells him she's in church But she doesn't go
#448
⇓
Tells him she's in church But she doesn't go
#448
⇓
Still she's on her knees And Scotty doesn't know
#449
⇓
Still she's on her knees And Scotty doesn't know
#449
⇓
Scotty doesn't know
#450
⇓
Scotty doesn't know
#450
⇓
Scotty doesn't...
#451
⇓
Scotty doesn't...
#451
⇓
You know, there are a lot of other empty compartments.
#452
⇓
You know, there are a lot of other empty compartments.
#452
⇓
Pardon me.
#453
⇓
Pardon me.
#453
⇓
Hi.
#454
⇓
Hi.
#454
⇓
What the hell are you doing?
#455
⇓
What the hell are you doing?
#455
⇓
No! No, no, no, no.
#456
⇓
No! No, no, no, no.
#456
⇓
Uh-oh.
#457
⇓
Uh-oh.
#457
⇓
- What? - Big tunnel.
#458
⇓
- What? - Big tunnel.
#458
⇓
Who's touching me? Scotty, is that you?
#459
⇓
Who's touching me? Scotty, is that you?
#459
⇓
- Whose hand is that? Who's touching me? - Scotty?
#460
⇓
- Whose hand is that? Who's touching me? - Scotty?
#460
⇓
Scotty!
#461
⇓
Scotty!
#461
⇓
Crans Sur Mer.
#462
⇓
Crans Sur Mer.
#462
⇓
We change trains here.
#463
⇓
We change trains here.
#463
⇓
Well, we got a couple of hours to kill.
#464
⇓
Well, we got a couple of hours to kill.
#464
⇓
What's there to see in this town?
#465
⇓
What's there to see in this town?
#465
⇓
Hello? The Monument des Poissonnières.
#466
⇓
Hello? The Monument des Poissonnières.
#466
⇓
It's a monument to all the local fishermen that were lost at sea.
#467
⇓
It's a monument to all the local fishermen that were lost at sea.
#467
⇓
Frommer's says it's supposed to be "quite moving."
#468
⇓
Frommer's says it's supposed to be "quite moving."
#468
⇓
What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO?
#469
⇓
What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO?
#469
⇓
We're here to see Europe, not some crappy statue.
#470
⇓
We're here to see Europe, not some crappy statue.
#470
⇓
I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here.
#471
⇓
I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here.
#471
⇓
Says here this town has a famous nude beach.
#472
⇓
Says here this town has a famous nude beach.
#472
⇓
All right, look, we can't all just lie around all day.
#473
⇓
All right, look, we can't all just lie around all day.
#473
⇓
We've gotta get out there and experience the culture firsthand.
#474
⇓
We've gotta get out there and experience the culture firsthand.
#474
⇓
Let's go exploring.
#475
⇓
Let's go exploring.
#475
⇓
So, what's the etiquette on boners?
#476
⇓
So, what's the etiquette on boners?
#476
⇓
Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
#477
⇓
Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
#477
⇓
Wait, wait, wait...
#478
⇓
Wait, wait, wait...
#478
⇓
Does "nude beach" mean we have to get naked too?
#479
⇓
Does "nude beach" mean we have to get naked too?
#479
⇓
Of course.
#480
⇓
Of course.
#480
⇓
Do you think you can go an hour without your currency colostomy bag?
#481
⇓
Do you think you can go an hour without your currency colostomy bag?
#481
⇓
Hey. As long as this thing has our money and our passports in it,
#482
⇓
Hey. As long as this thing has our money and our passports in it,
#482
⇓
it's not coming off, and I don't think my trunks are coming off either.
#483
⇓
it's not coming off, and I don't think my trunks are coming off either.
#483
⇓
Come on, Jamie. You came all the way to Europe.
#484
⇓
Come on, Jamie. You came all the way to Europe.
#484
⇓
Can't wimp out now.
#485
⇓
Can't wimp out now.
#485
⇓
- Okay. - All right, on the count of three.
#486
⇓
- Okay. - All right, on the count of three.
#486
⇓
Here we go.
#487
⇓
Here we go.
#487
⇓
Three, two, one...
#488
⇓
Three, two, one...
#488
⇓
Look at Jamie's penis!
#489
⇓
Look at Jamie's penis!
#489
⇓
- Very funny. Very funny. - All right.
#490
⇓
- Very funny. Very funny. - All right.
#490
⇓
Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin.
#491
⇓
Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin.
#491
⇓
- Here we go. - Really?
#492
⇓
- Here we go. - Really?
#492
⇓
Yes.
#493
⇓
Yes.
#493
⇓
Hello, ladies!
#494
⇓
Hello, ladies!
#494
⇓
- Ladies? - Bitches?
#495
⇓
- Ladies? - Bitches?
#495
⇓
What a rip! There's no nude girls here, just guys like us looking for nude girls.
#496
⇓
What a rip! There's no nude girls here, just guys like us looking for nude girls.
#496
⇓
I don't understand.
#497
⇓
I don't understand.
#497
⇓
"Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent.
#498
⇓
"Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent.
#498
⇓
However...
#499
⇓
However...
#499
⇓
during the summer months, all the European women
#500
⇓
during the summer months, all the European women
#500
⇓
are chased away by gawking male tourists,
#501
⇓
are chased away by gawking male tourists,
#501
⇓
so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists head to the deserted beach
#502
⇓
so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists head to the deserted beach
#502
⇓
right next to the Monument des Poissonnières."
#503
⇓
right next to the Monument des Poissonnières."
#503
⇓
There's so many penises.
#504
⇓
There's so many penises.
#504
⇓
Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen.
#505
⇓
Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen.
#505
⇓
This is the biggest sausage fest on earth.
#506
⇓
This is the biggest sausage fest on earth.
#506
⇓
It's the international house of sausage.
#507
⇓
It's the international house of sausage.
#507
⇓
Hey!
#508
⇓
Hey!
#508
⇓
Thanks for waiting.
#509
⇓
Thanks for waiting.
#509
⇓
Well, it's not like you're missing anything. It's all guys.
#510
⇓
Well, it's not like you're missing anything. It's all guys.
#510
⇓
At least the sun's out.
#511
⇓
At least the sun's out.
#511
⇓
Holy crap!
#512
⇓
Holy crap!
#512
⇓
What? I thought this was a nude beach.
#513
⇓
What? I thought this was a nude beach.
#513
⇓
No!
#514
⇓
No!
#514
⇓
- No, no. No, Jenny, you gotta cover up. - What are you doing?
#515
⇓
- No, no. No, Jenny, you gotta cover up. - What are you doing?
#515
⇓
- Cover up, cover up. - Why?
#516
⇓
- Cover up, cover up. - Why?
#516
⇓
Girl?
#517
⇓
Girl?
#517
⇓
Girl!
#518
⇓
Girl!
#518
⇓
Girl. Girl.
#519
⇓
Girl. Girl.
#519
⇓
Girl. Girl.
#520
⇓
Girl. Girl.
#520
⇓
Run!
#521
⇓
Run!
#521
⇓
I'm not gonna make it. Go on without me.
#522
⇓
I'm not gonna make it. Go on without me.
#522
⇓
All right. See you.
#523
⇓
All right. See you.
#523
⇓
Are you reading Mieke's old emails again?
#524
⇓
Are you reading Mieke's old emails again?
#524
⇓
Yeah.
#525
⇓
Yeah.
#525
⇓
I have no idea what I'm going to say to that girl when I see her.
#526
⇓
I have no idea what I'm going to say to that girl when I see her.
#526
⇓
You know, she said I might be the one?
#527
⇓
You know, she said I might be the one?
#527
⇓
That's huge. I've never been "the one" before.
#528
⇓
That's huge. I've never been "the one" before.
#528
⇓
Thought I was "the one" with Fiona, but it turns out I was, what, 101?
#529
⇓
Thought I was "the one" with Fiona, but it turns out I was, what, 101?
#529
⇓
- 200. - 200.
#530
⇓
- 200. - 200.
#530
⇓
Look, you got nothing to worry about.
#531
⇓
Look, you got nothing to worry about.
#531
⇓
You'll show up and sweep her off her German feet.
#532
⇓
You'll show up and sweep her off her German feet.
#532
⇓
Thanks.
#533
⇓
Thanks.
#533
⇓
Yeah.
#534
⇓
Yeah.
#534
⇓
I will, won't I?
#535
⇓
I will, won't I?
#535
⇓
I'm so sad and lonely.
#536
⇓
I'm so sad and lonely.
#536
⇓
I just wish someone would show up and sweep me off my German feet.
#537
⇓
I just wish someone would show up and sweep me off my German feet.
#537
⇓
Mieke. I'm here.
#538
⇓
Mieke. I'm here.
#538
⇓
Scotty!
#539
⇓
Scotty!
#539
⇓
Mieke, listen, about that last email, I'm so sorry...
#540
⇓
Mieke, listen, about that last email, I'm so sorry...
#540
⇓
The past is the past. You're here now.
#541
⇓
The past is the past. You're here now.
#541
⇓
I've been saving myself for you.
#542
⇓
I've been saving myself for you.
#542
⇓
Let us make love for one whole month.
#543
⇓
Let us make love for one whole month.
#543
⇓
Touch me, Scotty.
#544
⇓
Touch me, Scotty.
#544
⇓
Okay.
#545
⇓
Okay.
#545
⇓
Oh, Scott...
#546
⇓
Oh, Scott...
#546
⇓
So, guys, our train doesn't leave until tomorrow morning.
#547
⇓
So, guys, our train doesn't leave until tomorrow morning.
#547
⇓
Where are we gonna sleep tonight?
#548
⇓
Where are we gonna sleep tonight?
#548
⇓
What do you mean, sleep? We can sleep on the train tomorrow.
#549
⇓
What do you mean, sleep? We can sleep on the train tomorrow.
#549
⇓
This is the best thing that could have happened to us. We're in Amsterdam.
#550
⇓
This is the best thing that could have happened to us. We're in Amsterdam.
#550
⇓
This is the drug and sex capital of Europe. Take a look at this.
#551
⇓
This is the drug and sex capital of Europe. Take a look at this.
#551
⇓
"Club Vandersexxx.
#552
⇓
"Club Vandersexxx.
#552
⇓
The red light district's hottest sex club."
#553
⇓
The red light district's hottest sex club."
#553
⇓
We have to check it out. Who's with me?
#554
⇓
We have to check it out. Who's with me?
#554
⇓
I'll go.
#555
⇓
I'll go.
#555
⇓
Fine. Since no one else is willing to go, I'll just go myself.
#556
⇓
Fine. Since no one else is willing to go, I'll just go myself.
#556
⇓
This is definitely where I parked my car.
#557
⇓
This is definitely where I parked my car.
#557
⇓
Hello, there.
#558
⇓
Hello, there.
#558
⇓
Welcome to Club Vandersexxx, Amsterdam's most erotic club,
#559
⇓
Welcome to Club Vandersexxx, Amsterdam's most erotic club,
#559
⇓
where your every fantasy will be fulfilled.
#560
⇓
where your every fantasy will be fulfilled.
#560
⇓
Also says I get a free T-shirt with flyer.
#561
⇓
Also says I get a free T-shirt with flyer.
#561
⇓
He's American.
#562
⇓
He's American.
#562
⇓
How sad for you to grow up in a country that was founded by prudes.
#563
⇓
How sad for you to grow up in a country that was founded by prudes.
#563
⇓
A country overrun with crime and illiteracy.
#564
⇓
A country overrun with crime and illiteracy.
#564
⇓
A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time,
#565
⇓
A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time,
#565
⇓
and one must learn the woman's name beforehand.
#566
⇓
and one must learn the woman's name beforehand.
#566
⇓
- It was horrible. - I know.
#567
⇓
- It was horrible. - I know.
#567
⇓
But you can come with me and let the Vandersexxx begin.
#568
⇓
But you can come with me and let the Vandersexxx begin.
#568
⇓
I can't believe we're doing this.
#569
⇓
I can't believe we're doing this.
#569
⇓
Don't worry. Hash brownies are totally legal here.
#570
⇓
Don't worry. Hash brownies are totally legal here.
#570
⇓
You're gonna enjoy these, man. These are magical.
#571
⇓
You're gonna enjoy these, man. These are magical.
#571
⇓
- You wanna do this? - Yeah.
#572
⇓
- You wanna do this? - Yeah.
#572
⇓
- Hi. - Hi.
#573
⇓
- Hi. - Hi.
#573
⇓
I need a new battery for my camera.
#574
⇓
I need a new battery for my camera.
#574
⇓
And while you're at it, it could also use a thorough cleaning.
#575
⇓
And while you're at it, it could also use a thorough cleaning.
#575
⇓
Wow. Is that a Leica M6?
#576
⇓
Wow. Is that a Leica M6?
#576
⇓
Actually, it's an M7. It's got the built-in light meter.
#577
⇓
Actually, it's an M7. It's got the built-in light meter.
#577
⇓
It's so beautiful. So sleek, so powerful.
#578
⇓
It's so beautiful. So sleek, so powerful.
#578
⇓
How's the new lens system?
#579
⇓
How's the new lens system?
#579
⇓
Makes a Nikon look like a disposable.
#580
⇓
Makes a Nikon look like a disposable.
#580
⇓
You really know your cameras.
#581
⇓
You really know your cameras.
#581
⇓
- And you're very cute. - Me? Really?
#582
⇓
- And you're very cute. - Me? Really?
#582
⇓
I'm going on break.
#583
⇓
I'm going on break.
#583
⇓
I was going to step out back and have a cigarette. Would you like to join me?
#584
⇓
I was going to step out back and have a cigarette. Would you like to join me?
#584
⇓
I don't smoke.
#585
⇓
I don't smoke.
#585
⇓
Neither do I.
#586
⇓
Neither do I.
#586
⇓
- Hold on, hold on. - What is it?
#587
⇓
- Hold on, hold on. - What is it?
#587
⇓
- This is great. - You're so innocent.
#588
⇓
- This is great. - You're so innocent.
#588
⇓
Let's change that, shall we?
#589
⇓
Let's change that, shall we?
#589
⇓
What would you like me to do?
#590
⇓
What would you like me to do?
#590
⇓
Well, I don't really know.
#591
⇓
Well, I don't really know.
#591
⇓
I guess I haven't really done that much.
#592
⇓
I guess I haven't really done that much.
#592
⇓
I haven't really found the time, with all my extracurriculars,
#593
⇓
I haven't really found the time, with all my extracurriculars,
#593
⇓
and model UN, advanced placement classes, after-school tutoring.
#594
⇓
and model UN, advanced placement classes, after-school tutoring.
#594
⇓
Gosh, you really like cameras.
#595
⇓
Gosh, you really like cameras.
#595
⇓
Sometimes, we find that our clients are so overwhelmed with the pleasure,
#596
⇓
Sometimes, we find that our clients are so overwhelmed with the pleasure,
#596
⇓
that they sometimes scream out, "no," when really they mean "yes."
#597
⇓
that they sometimes scream out, "no," when really they mean "yes."
#597
⇓
And this is why we have the safe word.
#598
⇓
And this is why we have the safe word.
#598
⇓
The safe word?
#599
⇓
The safe word?
#599
⇓
If at any time the ecstasy gets too great, you just use the safe word.
#600
⇓
If at any time the ecstasy gets too great, you just use the safe word.
#600
⇓
Until we hear the safe word, we will not stop.
#601
⇓
Until we hear the safe word, we will not stop.
#601
⇓
Yeah, right. Stop. All right.
#602
⇓
Yeah, right. Stop. All right.
#602
⇓
We're going to start slowly,
#603
⇓
We're going to start slowly,
#603
⇓
teasing you with a little light erotic foreplay.
#604
⇓
teasing you with a little light erotic foreplay.
#604
⇓
Oh, yes, ladies.
#605
⇓
Oh, yes, ladies.
#605
⇓
On, on, Vandersexxx!
#606
⇓
On, on, Vandersexxx!
#606
⇓
Hans! Gruber!
#607
⇓
Hans! Gruber!
#607
⇓
Hi.
#608
⇓
Hi.
#608
⇓
So, are the girls coming back?
#609
⇓
So, are the girls coming back?
#609
⇓
Administer the testicle clamps!
#610
⇓
Administer the testicle clamps!
#610
⇓
What? Hey!
#611
⇓
What? Hey!
#611
⇓
Safe word.
#612
⇓
Safe word.
#612
⇓
What is that? That's not a word, it's a...
#613
⇓
What is that? That's not a word, it's a...
#613
⇓
- Okay, mister, don't move. - Excuse me?
#614
⇓
- Okay, mister, don't move. - Excuse me?
#614
⇓
- Shut the hell up. - Oh, brother. Please don't hurt me.
#615
⇓
- Shut the hell up. - Oh, brother. Please don't hurt me.
#615
⇓
Oh, no, you're fine. That's good. You're fine.
#616
⇓
Oh, no, you're fine. That's good. You're fine.
#616
⇓
Give me cash. You got cash? Give me cash.
#617
⇓
Give me cash. You got cash? Give me cash.
#617
⇓
Take it all, you dirty girl.
#618
⇓
Take it all, you dirty girl.
#618
⇓
What? Your wallet! Focus!
#619
⇓
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