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Home » Army of Darkness » S01E01 — Army of Darkness

Army of Darkness

Season 1, Episode 1 — Army of Darkness

↓

Director's cut

directors

↓

My name is Ash, and I am a slave.

name slave

↓

- Aah !

↓

Close as I can figure it, the year is 1300 A.D.,

close figure

↓

and I'm being dragged to my death.

death dragged

↓

It wasn't always like this.

↓

I had a real life once.

life real real-life

↓

A job.

↓

Ash to price check four.

check four price

↓

Um, hardware, aisle 12.

aisle hardware

↓

Shop smart. Shop S-mart.

mart shop smart

↓

I had a wonderful girlfriend, Linda.

girlfriend linda

↓

Together, we drove to a small cabin in the mountains.

cabin drove mountains

↓

It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place...

place remote seems

↓

to translate and study his latest find,

latest study

↓

"Necronomicon Ex Mortis,"

mortis necronomicon

↓

"The Book of the Dead."

book dead

↓

Bound in human flesh and inked in blood,

blood bound flesh human

↓

this ancient Sumerian text contained bizarre burial rites,

ancient bizarre burial text

↓

funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages.

demon resurrection

↓

It was never meant for the world of the living.

living meant world

↓

The book awoke something dark in the woods.

book dark woods

↓

It took Linda.

linda

↓

- And then it came for me.

↓

It got into my hand and it went bad.

hand

↓

So I lopped it off at the wrist.

wrist

↓

But that didn't stop it. It came back.

↓

- Big time.

↓

Ah !

↓

Aah !

↓

My God !

↓

How do you stop it ?

↓

- Surround the stranger !

stranger surround

↓

All right, you men, fall in !

fall

↓

All o' ya, keep a pace !

pace

↓

Where in the hell--

↓

Stand fast, hellhound !

fast stand

↓

No, no. Easy now, chief.

chief easy

↓

Uh, I don't know how I got here,

↓

- and, uh, uh, I'm not looking for any trouble.

looking trouble

↓

What a piece of armor this is !

armor piece

↓

- Wise man ! - Fall back ! Come on, all you men.

fall wise

↓

Back on your horses. Come on !

horses

↓

My lord, I believe he is the one written of in the Necronomicon.

believe lord necronomicon written

↓

He who's prophesied to fall from the heavens...

fall heavens

↓

and deliver us from the terrors of the Deadites.

deliver terrors

↓

What, that buffoon ?

buffoon

↓

Likely...

likely

↓

he's one of Henry's men !

↓

- Kneel, rapscallions !

kneel

↓

I say to the pit with him !

↓

You shall soon learn the horrors of the pit.

learn

↓

- To the pit ! - You miserable bast--

miserable

↓

- Get him ! - Get off of me !

↓

- Let me go ! - Chain him !

chain

↓

Ah, you're gonna have a little bit of wee fun, mate.

fun mate

↓

To the castle !

castle

↓

Pick up your feet ! Stop draggin' your feet !

feet pick

↓

Come on ! Move along !

along

↓

Come on, now.

↓

Come on, pick it up. Have a taste of this !

pick taste

↓

You men got something to look forward to...

forward

↓

when you get back to the castle.

castle

↓

Lord Arthur approaches !

approaches arthur lord lord-arthur

↓

Raise the portcullis !

raise

↓

Lord Arthur ! Lord Arthur approaches !

approaches arthur lord lord-arthur

↓

That's lovely, isn't it ? Move it in.

lovely

↓

Move it, you worthless--

worthless

↓

- Get on !

↓

Move it up, boys. God save the king !

boys king save

↓

God save the king. We love him ! 73 00:06:40,779 --> 00:06:44,032 Arthur ! He's back !

arthur king love save

↓

Lord Arthur, where is my brother ? Did he not ride with you ?

arthur brother lord lord-arthur ride

↓

Aye, and fought valiantly.

fought

↓

But last night he fell in battle to Duke Henry's men.

battle duke fell night

↓

I'm sorry, Sheila.

sheila

↓

Come on.

↓

You cretin ! Ah, stop it, you bastard !

bastard cretin

↓

You barbarian !

↓

- Oh, no ! Stop it ! Stop it !

↓

Get outta here, you little brat !

brat outta

↓

Foul thing ! A pox on you, brute !

brute foul

↓

Thou art a murderer ! A black murderer !

black murderer thou

↓

My brother's death shall be avenged !

brothers death

↓

Company, halt !

company halt

↓

Get that yoke off 'im !

↓

Kill them !

kill

↓

Put them into the pit !

↓

You, sir, are not one of my vassals.

↓

Who are you ?

↓

Who wants to know ?

wants

↓

I am Henry the Red,

henry

↓

Duke of Shael, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.

duke leader lord peoples

↓

Well, hello, Mr. Fancy Pants.

fancy fancy-pants pants

↓

I got news for you, pal. You ain't leadin' but two things right now--

aint news

↓

Jack and shit, and Jack left town.

jack left town

↓

Shut your bleedin' hole !

hole

↓

Shut your bleedin' hole !

hole

↓

Gentlemen, Lord Arthur !

arthur gentlemen lord lord-arthur

↓

There is an evil awakened in this land,

awakened evil land

↓

and while my people fight for their very souls against it,

fight souls

↓

you, Henry the Red, wage war on us !

henry wage

↓

Charlatan ! Aah !

↓

It was you who first turned your swords on us !

swords turned

↓

And this evil has befouled my people as well !

evil

↓

Your people are no better than the foul corruption...

corruption foul

↓

that lies in the bowels of that pit.

bowels lies

↓

Right, you're no better.

↓

May God have mercy upon your souls.

mercy souls

↓

God's name ! What hell-spawned thing lurks there ?

gods gods-name name

↓

Into the pit with those bloodthirsty sons of 'hores !

bloodthirsty sons

↓

No ! No !

↓

No, no ! Aah !

↓

Oh ! Heavenly God !

heavenly

↓

He's escaping !

↓

- Hold to ! - Hold him !

↓

- Who's next ? - It's him. Aye, he trembles !

↓

They don't look so clever now, do they ?

clever

↓

He's frightened ! He's frightened white !

frightened white

↓

Whoa ! Whoa !

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

Wait a minute. Hold it.

minute

↓

W-Wait a minute. You gotta understand, man.

minute

↓

I never even saw these assholes before.

assholes

↓

- Get him in there ! - He trembles !

↓

He's begging !

begging

↓

- What are you waitin' for ? - Henry !

henry waitin

↓

You gotta tell him you don't know me.

↓

We never met. Tell him.

↓

I do not think he'll listen, lad.

↓

Look.

↓

I'm tellin' you, you got the wrong guy.

tellin

↓

I'm tellin' you, you got the wrong guy.

tellin

↓

Uh, wh-whoa.

whoa

↓

- Aah !

↓

How do you like the pit ? Isn't the pit wonderful ?

↓

- Hai-ya !

↓

- Why, you--

↓

Ha !

↓

Spikes.

↓

Hey ! He says, "Spikes." Give him spikes !

↓

Make way ! Strange one !

strange

↓

- Strange one !

strange

↓

Yaaah !

yaaah

↓

Yes !

↓

Damn you. Damn you !

↓

You know, your shoelace is untied.

↓

All right.

↓

Who wants some ?

wants

↓

Who's next, huh ?

↓

How 'bout it ?

bout

↓

Who wants some, huh ?

wants

↓

Who wants to have a little ?

wants

↓

You. You want some more ?

↓

Huh ?

↓

You want a little ?

↓

Do ya ? Do ya ? Do ya want some more?

↓

Huh ? Huh ?

↓

Now get on those horses and get outta here.

horses outta

↓

Let 'em go !

↓

- Halt !

halt

↓

Thank you, generous hosts !

generous

↓

Sword boy !

sword

↓

For that arrogance, I shall see you dead.

arrogance dead

↓

Yeah.

↓

All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up.

primitive

↓

See this ?

↓

- This is my boom stick !

boom stick

↓

It's a 12-gauge, double-barreled Remington.

double gauge remington

↓

S-mart's top of the line.

line

↓

You can find this in the sporting goods department.

department goods sporting

↓

That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

baby grand michigan sweet sweet-baby

↓

Retails for about $109.95.

↓

It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger.

blue hair hair-trigger steel stock trigger walnut

↓

That's right, shop smart.

shop smart

↓

Shop S-mart. You got that ?

mart shop

↓

- Yes, sir. Right. - Yes, sir.

↓

Now I swear,

swear

↓

the next one of you primates...

primates

↓

even touches me--

touches

↓

Now, let's talk about how I get back home.

home

↓

I prithee to forgive me, m'lord.

forgive

↓

I believed thee one of Henry's men.

believed thee

↓

First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me.

kill kiss

↓

Blow.

blow

↓

So what's the deal ? Can you send me back or not ?

deal send

↓

Only the Necronomicon has the power.

necronomicon power

↓

An unholy book which we also require.

book require unholy

↓

Within its pages are passages that can send you back to your time.

pages send

↓

Only you, The Promised One, can quest for it.

promised quest

↓

I don't want your book. I don't want your bullshit.

book bullshit

↓

Just send me back to my own time. Pronto, today, chop--

chop send today

↓

- You shall die !

↓

You shall never obtain the Necronomicon !

necronomicon

↓

We shall feast upon your souls !

feast souls

↓

Oh !

↓

- It's a trick. Get an axe.

trick

↓

- Guards, stop it !

guards

↓

- Catch the witch ! - Death to the witch !

catch death witch

↓

Have some porridge !

↓

Ah, my eyes ! I'm blind ! Oh, God, I'm blind !

blind eyes

↓

No, don't !

↓

Yo, she-bitch.

bitch

↓

- Let's go.

↓

Ya-hoo !

↓

Hee-ya !

↓

- Hee-ya !

↓

If the Necronomicon fell into the hands of the Deadites,

fell hands necronomicon

↓

all mankind will be consumed by this evil.

evil mankind

↓

Now will thou quest for the book ?

book quest thou

↓

That one.

↓

Hee-ya !

↓

Groovy.

groovy

↓

What's the matter ? You raised in a barn ? Shut the door.

barn door matter raised

↓

Probably was raised in a barn with all the other primitives.

barn raised

↓

The wise men say that thou art The Promised One.

promised thou wise

↓

'Tis said that thou wilt journey for the book to help us,

book journey thou thou-wilt wilt

↓

and that thou wilt lead our people against the evil.

evil lead thou thou-wilt wilt

↓

The only reason I'm going to get the book is to get home.

book home reason

↓

I believe that thou wilt be leaving in the morning.

believe leaving morning thou thou-wilt wilt

↓

Don't touch that, please. Your primitive intellect...

intellect primitive touch

↓

wouldn't understand alloys and compositions...

↓

and things with molecular structures in the--

molecular

↓

What are you doin' here anyway ?

doin

↓

I wanted to say that all of my--

wanted

↓

all of my hopes and prayers go with you,

hopes prayers

↓

and I made this for thee.

thee

↓

Good, I could use a horse blanket.

blanket horse

↓

Gimme some sugar, baby.

baby sugar

↓

Hyah ! Come on, boy !

hyah

↓

Hyah !

hyah

↓

Hyah !

hyah

↓

- Steady now. Whoa.

steady whoa

↓

What ? What is it ?

↓

This path will lead you to an unholy place.

lead path place unholy

↓

A cemetery. There, the Necronomicon awaits.

awaits cemetery necronomicon

↓

When thou retrievest the book from its cradle, you must recite the words,

book cradle must recite thou words

↓

"Klaatu barada nikto."

barada klaatu klaatu-barada

↓

Klaatu barada nikto. Okay.

barada klaatu klaatu-barada

↓

Well, repeat them.

repeat

↓

- Klaatu barada nikto. - Again !

barada klaatu klaatu-barada

↓

I got it, I got it ! I know your damn words, all right ?

words

↓

Now you get this straight, the both of you.

straight

↓

If I get that book, you send me back.

book send

↓

After that, I'm history. Hyah !

history hyah

↓

What is it, boy ?

↓

Hyah ! Come on !

hyah

↓

Hyah ! Come on !

hyah

↓

Aah ! Come on !

↓

Come on, you !

↓

Hey, let's scare this guy good ! Come on.

scare

↓

Ramming speed !

speed

↓

Ooh !

↓

Ready, aim, fire !

fire ready

↓

- Ooh ! - Get away !

↓

Whoa !

whoa

↓

- Oh, God ! Oh, no ! - Oh--

↓

- Oh ! - You lousy little--

lousy

↓

Oh, no !

↓

Ooh, no ! Oh, my !

↓

Uh, ooh, aah !

↓

- Lift up ! - Oh, ooh-hoo-ha !

lift

↓

- Ooh, aah !

↓

Aah-ha-ha !

↓

Heh heh heh-heh-- Whoa !

whoa

↓

## London Bridge is falling down #

bridge falling london

↓

# Falling down #

falling

↓

# Falling down #

falling

↓

- # My fair lady ## Ha !

fair lady

↓

Ooh !

↓

Is he up ? How is he ?

↓

Hey, he's gettin' up.

gettin

↓

Hmm, what a horrible nightmare.

horrible nightmare

↓

Wait a minute. Oh, God !

minute

↓

I can't move !

↓

Aah !

↓

- And go ! - Open wide.

open wide

↓

Geronimo !

↓

- Hooray ! - Hooray !

hooray hooray-hooray

↓

- Ah !

↓

Okay, little fella. How about some hot chocolate, huh ?

chocolate fella

↓

How'd you like the taste of that, huh ?

howd taste

↓

How'd you like the ta--

howd

↓

Aah, uh, ugh, oh !

↓

Ah ! Oh !

↓

Let me out !

↓

Oh, dear God, it's growing bigger !

bigger dear growing

↓

Ooh, ooh, I'm blind. I'm blind. Bleh.

blind

↓

Yip, yip, yah !

↓

Oh, hey ! Where are you takin' me ? Uh, oh, ooh !

takin

↓

What are you ?

↓

Are you me ?

↓

I'm bad Ash, and you're good Ash.

↓

You're goody little two-shoes.

goody shoes

↓

## You're goody little two-shoes goody little two-shoes #

goody shoes

↓

# Little goody two-shoes Little goody two-shoes #

goody shoes

↓

# Little goody two-shoes Little goody two-shoes Little goody two-shoes #

goody shoes

↓

- Ow !

↓

# Little goody two-shoes ##

goody shoes

↓

Aah !

↓

Good, bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

↓

That'll teach you. Yeah, that'll teach you.

teach thatll

↓

You shall never retrieve the Necronomicon !

necronomicon retrieve

↓

You'll die in the graveyard before you get it !

graveyard

↓

- What's that you got on your face ? - Huh ?

face

↓

I'll come back for you !

↓

- Hyah !

hyah

↓

Come on, boy !

↓

Hyah !

hyah

↓

Three books ?

books three

↓

Wait a minute. Hold it.

minute

↓

Nobody said anything about three books.

books nobody three

↓

L-Like what am I supposed to do ?

supposed

↓

Take one book, or all books, or, or what ?

book books

↓

Well.

↓

Whoa. Wrong book.

book whoa

↓

Ow !

↓

Aah ! Ooh !

↓

Ooh ! Ooh, you !

↓

I'll get back to you.

↓

Well...

↓

Well...

↓

seems fairly obvious.

fairly obvious seems

↓

Ooh, wait a minute. The words. All right, all right, all right.

minute words

↓

Say the words.

words

↓

Klaatu... barada...

barada klaatu klaatu-barada

↓

Iu--

↓

necktie.

↓

Nectar, n-- nickel.

nickel

↓

Noodle. It's an "N" word.

noodle word

↓

It's definitely an "N" word.

word

↓

It's definitely an "N" word.

word

↓

Klaatu barada n--

barada klaatu klaatu-barada

↓

Okay, then. That's it.

↓

Hey. Wait a minute.

minute

↓

Everything's cool. I said the words. I did !

cool everythings words

↓

- Oh ! Oh ! No, wait ! Oh !

↓

You people, seek cover ! To the parapet !

cover seek

↓

Seek your children !

children seek

↓

- Steady the horses !

horses steady

↓

Something's wrong. Something's amiss.

somethings

↓

Where'd you go ? Where'd you g--

whered

↓

Oh, oh, aah !

↓

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

↓

Ow ! I'll crush ya ! I'll mash ya into paste, you bony cre--

bony crush mash paste

↓

- Hyah !

hyah

↓

I'm through being their garbage boy. I did my part.

garbage part

↓

Now I want back, like in the deal. Hyah !

deal hyah

↓

I... live...

live

↓

again.

↓

There ! The Promised One ! The Promised One's returned !

ones promised returned

↓

Raise the portcullis !

raise

↓

Welcome home ! We're saved !

home saved welcome welcome-home

↓

- The Necronomicon ! - Truly he is The Promised One !

necronomicon promised truly

↓

- He's brought the Necronomicon ! - How are ya ?

brought necronomicon

↓

- He's brought the book ! - Yeah, great, great.

book brought

↓

- Good boy ! - Get the fuck outta my face !

face fuck outta

↓

The Necronomicon, quickly. Did you bring the Necronomicon ?

bring necronomicon quickly

↓

- Yeah, it's, it's just that-- - Just what ?

↓

Nothin'. Here.

nothin

↓

Now send me back. Like in the deal.

deal send

↓

When you removed the Necronomicon from the cradle, did you speak the words ?

cradle necronomicon removed speak words

↓

- Yeah, basically. - Did you speak the exact words ?

exact exact-words speak words

↓

Look, maybe I didn't say every single, little tiny syllable,

single syllable tiny

↓

- no, but basically I said 'em, yeah. - Dung-eating fool !

dung eating fool

↓

Thou hast doomed us all ! When thou misspoke the words,

doomed hast thou words

↓

the army of the dead awoke !

army dead

↓

Now, whoa, whoa, right there, spinach chin.

chin spinach whoa whoa-whoa

↓

You said you could clean this mess up once you got that book.

book clean mess

↓

You said there was a passage that could get rid of this thing and send me back.

passage send

↓

It's true, the book still possesses the power to send you back,

book power send

↓

but to us it is useless !

useless

↓

The evil has a terrible hunger for the Necronomicon,

evil hunger necronomicon

↓

and it will come here to get it.

↓

We had a deal.

deal

↓

You wanted the damn book, I got it for ya.

book wanted

↓

I did my part, now you send me back.

part send

↓

Very well. As we are men of our word,

word

↓

we shall honor our bargain.

bargain honor

↓

The wise men shall return you to your own time.

return wise

↓

Yeah ?

↓

- I thought he was the one. - Yeah, right.

↓

'Cause that was the deal.

deal

↓

So when do you think we can...

↓

start with all the thing and the--

start

↓

He's nothin' but a traitor, he is !

nothin traitor

↓

When do you think we can start...

start

↓

with all the, uh, ceremony and, uh--

ceremony

↓

Agh ! Wretched excuse for a man !

excuse wretched

↓

The wise men were fools to trust in you.

fools trust wise

↓

I knew he couldn't be trusted.

trusted

↓

We put our trust in him.

trust

↓

I still believe that thou wilt help us.

believe thou thou-wilt wilt

↓

Oh, Sheila, don't you get it ? It's over.

sheila

↓

I didn't have what it took.

↓

So long.

↓

But what of the things that we've shared ?

shared

↓

What of all the sweet words that you spoke in private ?

private spoke sweet words

↓

Aw, well--

↓

Well, that's just what we call "pillow talk," baby. That's all.

baby pillow

↓

It was more than that.

↓

I still have faith in thee.

faith thee

↓

I still believe that thou wilt stay and save us. I--

believe save thou thou-wilt wilt

↓

Coward !

coward

↓

- Look there ! A demon !

demon

↓

Ash ! Help me !

↓

Sheila !

sheila

↓

Yaaah !

yaaah

↓

- Shoot the bloody thing ! - Hold your arms ! You'll hit the girl !

arms bloody girl shoot

↓

Uh, me sword !

sword

↓

Yaaah !

yaaah

↓

Damn you !

↓

Dig, damn you ! Dig faster !

faster

↓

I shall command every worm-infested son-of-a-bitch...

bitch command infested worm

↓

- that ever died in battle ! - Thank you, sir !

battle died

↓

- You there, handsomely now. - Aye, my liege.

liege

↓

We shall storm their castle and get my book !

book castle storm

↓

Hoist, you damnable varlets !

↓

Welcome back to the land of the living.

land living welcome

↓

Now pick up a shovel and get digging !

digging pick shovel

↓

- Bring on the wench !

bring wench

↓

- Gimme some sugar, baby.

baby sugar

↓

Well.

↓

Now, ain't you a sweet little thing ?

aint sweet

↓

Don't touch me, you foul thing !

foul touch

↓

Come on.

↓

That's it.

↓

We got plans for you, girly-girl. Move !

girl girly plans

↓

Have you lost your bones, you decomposed gobs ? Get thee hence !

bones hence lost thee

↓

A scout approaches !

approaches scout

↓

- Whoa ! - Hey, get his horse.

horse whoa

↓

Arise.

↓

My lord, an army of the dead gather in the wilderness.

army dead gather lord wilderness

↓

- They approach the castle. - How far from here?

approach castle

↓

But two days' ride.

days ride

↓

These winged ones are only the first of them.

ones

↓

Perhaps we should leave as soon as possible.

perhaps possible

↓

- We could be safe in the mountains. - Yes, the mountains.

mountains safe

↓

- We must flee ! - It is written. It has been foretold.

flee foretold must written

↓

- They'll take our souls. They'll swallow our souls. - I'm afraid !

afraid souls swallow

↓

- I don't want to die !

↓

That's it. Go ahead and run.

ahead go-ahead

↓

Run home and cry to mama !

home mama

↓

Me ? I'm through runnin' !

runnin

↓

I say we stay here and fight it out.

fight

↓

Are all men from the future loudmouthed braggarts ?

future

↓

Nope. Just me, baby. Just me.

baby nope

↓

How will we fight an army of the dead at our castle walls ?

army castle dead fight walls

↓

How will you fight that ? More words ?

fight words

↓

Most of our people have already fled.

fled

↓

We are but 60 men.

↓

Then we'll get Henry the Red and his men to fight with us.

fight henry

↓

Now... who's with me ?

↓

I'll stand by ya.

stand

↓

You can count on my steel.

count steel

↓

I'll offer up my courage.

courage offer

↓

- Me sword's by his side. - I'm with you !

side swords

↓

- I'll bend my bow to your will, sir. - And mine !

bend

↓

We'll stay !

↓

Hail ! Hail ! Hail ! Hail !

hail hail-hail

↓

Hail ! Hail ! Hail !

hail hail-hail

↓

Well, my dear,

dear

↓

say hello to the boys.

boys

↓

- There's a sight for sore bones.

bones sight sore

↓

I may be bad,

↓

but I feel... good.

↓

- Who rules ? - To you, my lord.

lord rules

↓

You, sir. To the castle.

castle

↓

The castle !

castle

↓

Hurry up now.

hurry

↓

The castle ! Let's push.

castle push

↓

Heave-ho. Good. Yeah.

heave

↓

Ha ! Hoo !

↓

Hai-ya !

↓

Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya !

↓

Yeah !

↓

They're coming ! The Deadites approach !

approach coming

↓

There's so damn many of 'em.

↓

-

↓

-

↓

-

↓

-

↓

Battle stations ! All right, get those rocks up, mister, on the double !

battle double mister rocks stations

↓

Ready the catapults ! By God, let's give 'em what for.

catapults ready

↓

And halt !

halt

↓

- Company, halt ! - Company, halt !

company halt

↓

I'll rip his balls off.

balls

↓

-

↓

-

↓

My lord, we are positioned on both fronts.

lord

↓

Fine, fine, fine. Where are they keeping my book ?

book keeping

↓

There, my lord, beyond the wall.

beyond lord wall

↓

The parapet. That would be the most likely place.

likely place

↓

Right. Bring me forth into that castle !

bring castle forth

↓

- Forward ! - Forward !

forward

↓

Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war !

dogs loose

↓

To the castle !

castle

↓

Fly, mate ! Fly !

mate

↓

Death to the mortals !

death

↓

Arrows.

arrows

↓

Torch boy !

torch

↓

Steady.

steady

↓

Fire !

fire

↓

- Advance, you beasts, advance !

advance beasts

↓

Oh ! Oh !

↓

Yeah, baby !

baby

↓

- All right !

↓

Sire, there's a second division approaching from the south.

approaching division second south

↓

Ram the gate !

gate

↓

Catapults.

catapults

↓

Catapults out !

catapults

↓

Yeah !

↓

Fire !

fire

↓

Look there !

↓

Yeah !

↓

- Seek cover ! - Watch out !

cover seek watch

↓

- Make way !

↓

Oh !

↓

Oh, you miserable bags of bones !

bags bones miserable

↓

Pick yourselves up and sally fo...

pick sally yourselves

↓

Sally for--

sally

↓

Sally forth.

forth sally

↓

Come on, you miserable wretches.

miserable

↓

Lower.

lower

↓

Heave !

heave

↓

Forward !

forward

↓

Buttress the door, now !

door

↓

Hold fast !

fast

↓

- Back ! - Stone these creatures !

creatures stone

↓

Damn you !

↓

Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

hurt

↓

Go, you creatures ! Arrows !

arrows creatures

↓

Load ! Fire !

fire load

↓

- Heave ! Put your...

heave

↓

backbones into it.

↓

We've broken through ! The castle is ours !

broken castle

↓

Kill the mortals !

kill

↓

- Get it achieved and fast !

achieved fast

↓

Their ranks are broken ! Have at them !

broken

↓

Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya ! Ha ! Hoo ! Hai-ya !

↓

Pull back ! Man the parapet !

pull

↓

Protect the book.

book protect

↓

God save us all.

save

↓

Say hello to the 21st century. Yeah !

century

↓

Come on ! I got plenty for everybody !

everybody plenty

↓

Look out !

↓

- Whoo !

whoo

↓

- Bye-bye.

↓

It's the one in the cart we want ! Get him !

cart

↓

- Yaaah !

yaaah

↓

Yaaaaah !

↓

Sheila ?

sheila

↓

- We've secured the courtyard, my lord.

courtyard lord

↓

Excellent.

excellent

↓

Ooh ! Hey ! Look out !

↓

- Hey, you're mine, sweetie.

sweetie

↓

Get off of her !

↓

Gotcha !

gotcha

↓

Damn you !

↓

- My lord. - Stay with the book.

book lord

↓

The book's where we are.

books

↓

Oops !

oops

↓

Hello !

↓

The book is mine.

book

↓

I'll cut your gizzard out.

↓

- Hey, where'd he go ?

whered

↓

Come to papa.

papa

↓

Get him !

↓

Oh, you crazy bitch, get off of me !

bitch crazy crazy-bitch

↓

Ha !

↓

Right.

↓

You found me beautiful once.

found

↓

Honey, you got real ugly.

honey real ugly

↓

There we are.

↓

So you wanna play rough, eh ?

rough

↓

Okay.

↓

Oh.

↓

All right, all right.

↓

Prepare to die !

prepare

↓

You're going down !

↓

- I'm goin' up. - I'm comin' for ya.

comin goin

↓

Come on !

↓

- Oops. Excuse me. - Come on.

excuse oops

↓

All right !

↓

You're pissin' me off, you ugly son of a bitch !

bitch ugly

↓

I'll spoil those good looks.

spoil

↓

Back-stabber !

↓

Hold still !

↓

Tallyho !

↓

- We can't hold the battlements!

↓

We will hold ! We must protect the book !

book must protect

↓

I got a bone to pick with you.

bone pick

↓

Come on.

↓

Slice that gizzard open.

open slice

↓

Now you're mine.

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

At last, the book.

book

↓

I possess the Necronomicon.

necronomicon

↓

I've crushed your pathetic army. Now I'll have my vengeance.

army crushed pathetic vengeance

↓

Buckle up, bonehead, 'cause you're goin' for a ride.

buckle goin ride

↓

Huh ?

↓

Victory's ours !

↓

- Retreat ! Retreat ! - Let's get the hell out of here !

retreat

↓

- Oh. - Tricky ones, they are.

ones tricky

↓

If it's a fight you want--

fight

↓

Watch 'em, lads. They're an untrust worthy lot.

lads watch worthy

↓

Move yourself, lad !

↓

- Your hand, man. Godspeed ! - Hey, Henry. Yeah, nice goin'.

goin hand henry

↓

- My lady. - Arthur.

arthur lady

↓

- Well won, my friend. - We've won the day.

friend

↓

- Yeah ! - Yeah !

↓

We're brothers and a new kingdom shall be born !

born brothers kingdom

↓

The book tells us that each drop allows a man to sleep for a century

allows book century drop sleep tells

↓

swallow six drops

drops swallow

↓

though will awake in your own time.

awake

↓

Hyah !

hyah

↓

Six drops.

drops

↓

I slept too long.

slept