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Home » Fight Club » S01E01 — Fight Club

Fight Club

Season 1, Episode 1 — Fight Club

↓

People are always asking me

asking

↓

if I know Tyler Durden.

durden tyler tyler-durden

↓

3 minutes.

minutes

↓

Ground zero.

ground zero

↓

Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?

mark occasion words

↓

With a gun barrel between your teeth,

barrel teeth

↓

you speak only in vowels.

speak

↓

I can't think of anything.

↓

For a second I totally forget

forget second

↓

about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing,

controlled tylers whole

↓

and I wonder how clean that gun is.

clean wonder

↓

Getting exciting now.

exciting

↓

That old saying,

↓

how you always hurt the one you love?

hurt love

↓

Well, it works both ways.

ways works

↓

We have front row seats

front seats

↓

for this theater of mass destruction.

destruction mass theater

↓

The demolitions committee of Project Mayhem

committee mayhem project

↓

wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings

buildings dozen foundation wrapped

↓

with blasting gelatin. In 2 minutes,

blasting minutes

↓

primary charges will blow base charges

base blow charges primary

↓

and a few square blocks

blocks square

↓

will be reduced to smoldering rubble.

reduced rubble

↓

I know this...

↓

because Tyler knows this.

knows tyler

↓

2 1/2.

↓

Think of everything we've accomplished.

accomplished

↓

And suddenly, I realize that all of this:

realize suddenly

↓

The gun, the bombs, the revolution...

bombs revolution

↓

has got something to do with a girl named Marla Singer.

girl girl-named marla marla-singer named singer

↓

Bob. Bob had bitch-tits.

bitch tits

↓

This was a support group for men with testicular cancer.

cancer group support support-group testicular testicular-cancer

↓

The big moosey slobbering all over me,

↓

that was Bob.

↓

We're still men.

↓

Yes, we're men.

↓

Men is what we are.

↓

8 months ago, Bob's testicles were removed.

bobs months removed testicles

↓

Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch-tits

bitch developed therapy tits

↓

because his testosterone was too high,

testosterone

↓

and his body upped the estrogen.

body

↓

And that was where I fit...

↓

They're gonna have to open up my pecks again

open

↓

and drain the fluid.

drain fluid

↓

Between those huge, sweating tits

huge sweating tits

↓

that hung enormous the way you'd think of Gods as big.

enormous hung

↓

OK. You cry now.

↓

No, wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.

start

↓

For 6 months, I couldn't sleep.

months sleep

↓

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep.

sleep

↓

With insomnia, nothing's real.

nothings real

↓

Everything's far away.

everythings

↓

Everything's a copy of a copy of a copy.

copy everythings

↓

When deep space exploration ramps up,

deep exploration space

↓

it'll be the corporations that names everything:

corporations itll names

↓

The I.B.M. Stellar sphere,

↓

the Microsoft Galaxy,

galaxy

↓

Planet Starbucks.

planet starbucks

↓

Gonna need you out of town a little more this week.

town week

↓

We got some red flags to cover.

cover

↓

It must've been Tuesday.

mustve tuesday

↓

He was wearing his cornflower-blue tie.

blue wearing

↓

You want me to deprioritize my current reports

current reports

↓

until you advise of a status upgrade?

advise status upgrade

↓

Make these your primary action items.

action items primary

↓

Here's your flight coupons.

coupons flight

↓

Call me from the road if there's any snags.

road

↓

He was full of pep.

full

↓

Must have had his grandee latte enema.

latte must

↓

Like so many others, I had become a slave

become others slave

↓

to the IKEA nesting instinct.

instinct

↓

Uh, yes. I'd like to order the Erica Pekkary dust ruffles.

dust order

↓

Please hold.

↓

If I saw something clever

clever

↓

Like a little coffee table in the shape of a yin-yang,

coffee coffee-table shape table yang

↓

I had to have it.

↓

The Klipske personal office unit,

office personal unit

↓

the Hovetrekke home exert-bike,

bike home

↓

or the Johannshamn sofa

sofa

↓

with the Strinne green stripe pattern.

green pattern stripe

↓

Even the Rizlampa wire lamps

lamps wire

↓

of environmentally friendly unbleached paper.

friendly paper

↓

I'd flip through catalogs and wonder:

flip wonder

↓

What kind of dining set defines me as a person?

defines dining person

↓

I had it all.

↓

Even the glass dishes

dishes glass

↓

with tiny bubbles and imperfections.

bubbles tiny

↓

Proof that they were crafted by the honest, simple,

honest proof simple

↓

hard-working indigenous peoples of -

hard indigenous peoples working

↓

Please hold.

↓

Wherever.

↓

I was holding.

holding

↓

We used to read pornography.

pornography read used

↓

Now it was the Horchow collection.

collection

↓

No, you can't die from insomnia.

↓

What about narcolepsy?

↓

I nod off. I wake up in strange places.

places strange wake

↓

I have no idea how I got there.

idea

↓

You need to lighten up.

lighten

↓

Can you please just get me something?

↓

Red and blue Tuenois, lipstick-red Seconais.

blue lipstick

↓

No. You need healthy natural sleep.

healthy natural sleep

↓

Chew some Valerian root and get more exercise.

chew exercise root

↓

Hey, come on. I'm in pain.

pain

↓

You wanna see pain?

pain

↓

Swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights.

nights swing tuesday

↓

See the guys with testicular cancer.

cancer testicular testicular-cancer

↓

That's pain.

pain

↓

I always wanted 3 kids,

kids wanted

↓

2 boys and a girl.

boys girl

↓

Mindy wanted 2 girls and a boy.

girls mindy wanted

↓

We never could agree on anything.

agree

↓

Well, uh, you know, she-

↓

She had her first child last week, a...

child week

↓

a girl.

girl

↓

With-With her, uh, with her new husband.

husband

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

Hey-Hey, thank God, you know.

↓

I'm-I'm glad for her.

glad

↓

Because she deserves it.

deserves

↓

Everyone, let's thank Thomas for sharing himself with us.

sharing thomas

↓

Thank you, Thomas.

thomas

↓

I look around this room, and I see a lot of courage,

courage room

↓

and that gives me strength.

gives strength

↓

We give each other strength.

strength

↓

It's time for the one-on-ones.

ones

↓

So let's all of us here follow Thomas' good example

example follow thomas

↓

and really open ourselves up.

open

↓

Would you find a partner?

partner

↓

And this is how I met the big moosey...

↓

Come on. Let's go over here.

↓

His eyes already shrink-wrapped in tears...

eyes shrink tears wrapped

↓

knees together, those awkward little steps.

awkward knees steps

↓

My name is Bob.

name

↓

Bob.

↓

Bob had been a champion body-builder.

body champion

↓

You know that chest-expansion program

chest program

↓

you see on late-night TV? That was his idea.

idea late night

↓

I was a juicer.

↓

You know, using steroids.

steroids using

↓

Diabonal and...

↓

Wistrol. Oh, they use that

↓

on racehorses, for Christ sakes.

christ christ-sakes sakes

↓

And now I'm bankrupt.

↓

I'm divorced.

divorced

↓

My 2 grown kids...

grown kids

↓

won't even return my phone calls.

calls phone phone-calls return

↓

Strangers with this kind of honesty

honesty strangers

↓

make me go a big rubbery one.

↓

Go ahead, Cornelius.

ahead go-ahead

↓

You can cry.

↓

And then, something happened.

happened

↓

I let go.

↓

That's really good.

↓

Lost in oblivion...

lost oblivion

↓

dark and silent and complete.

complete dark silent

↓

I found freedom.

found freedom

↓

Losing all hope was freedom.

freedom hope losing

↓

It's OK.

↓

Babies don't sleep this well.

babies sleep

↓

I became addicted.

addicted became

↓

Come on.

↓

If I didn't say anything...

↓

people always assumed the worst.

assumed worst

↓

Welcome, Travis.

welcome

↓

Welcome, Travis.

welcome

↓

They cried harder...

cried harder

↓

then I cried harder.

cried harder

↓

Now we're going to open the green door,

door green open

↓

the heart chakra.

heart

↓

I wasn't really dying.

dying

↓

I wasn't host to cancer or parasites.

cancer host parasites

↓

I was the warm little center

center warm

↓

that the life of this world crowded around.

crowded life world

↓

Imagine your pain

imagine pain

↓

as a white ball of healing light.

ball healing light white

↓

It moves over your body, healing you.

body healing moves

↓

Now, keep this going. Remember to breathe,

breathe remember

↓

and step forward

forward step step-forward

↓

through the back door of the room.

door room

↓

Where does it lead?

lead

↓

To your cave.

cave

↓

Step forward into your cave.

cave forward step step-forward

↓

That's right.

↓

You're going deeper into your cave,

cave deeper

↓

and you're going to find your power animal.

animal power

↓

Slide.

slide

↓

Every evening, I died...

died evening

↓

and every evening, I was born again.

born evening

↓

Resurrected.

↓

Bob loved me because he thought

loved

↓

my testicles were removed, too.

removed testicles

↓

Being there...

↓

pressed against his tits,

pressed tits

↓

ready to cry.

ready

↓

This was my vacation.

vacation

↓

And she ruined everything.

ruined

↓

This is cancer, right?

cancer

↓

This chick Marla Singer

chick marla marla-singer singer

↓

did not have testicular cancer.

cancer testicular testicular-cancer

↓

She was a liar.

liar

↓

She had no diseases at all.

diseases

↓

I had seen her at Free and Clear

clear free seen

↓

my blood parasites group Thursdays.

blood group parasites thursdays

↓

Then at Hope, my bimonthly sickle cell circle.

cell circle hope

↓

And again at Seize the Day,

seize

↓

my tuberculosis Friday night.

friday friday-night night

↓

Marla, the big tourist.

marla tourist

↓

Her lie reflected my lie,

↓

and suddenly, I felt nothing.

suddenly

↓

I couldn't cry.

↓

So once again, I couldn't sleep.

sleep

↓

Next group, after guided meditation,

group guided meditation

↓

after we open our heart chakras,

heart open

↓

when it's time to hug,

↓

I'm gonna grab that little bitch

bitch grab

↓

Marla Singer and scream...

marla marla-singer scream singer

↓

Marla, you liar! You big tourist!

liar marla tourist

↓

I need this! Now get out!

↓

I hadn't slept in 4 days.

days slept

↓

Absolutely. We'll just let that dry.

absolutely

↓

When you have insomnia,

↓

you're never really asleep...

asleep

↓

and you're never really awake.

awake

↓

To begin tonight's communion,

begin tonights

↓

Chloe would like to say a few words.

chloe words

↓

Oh, yeah... Chloe.

chloe

↓

Chloe looked the way

chloe looked

↓

Meryl Streep's skeleton would look

skeleton

↓

if you made it smile and walk around the party

party smile walk

↓

being extra nice to everybody.

everybody extra

↓

Well, I'm still here,

↓

but I don't know for how long.

↓

That's as much certainty

certainty

↓

as anyone can give me.

↓

But I've got some good news.

news

↓

I no longer have

longer

↓

any fear of death.

death fear

↓

But I am in a pretty lonely place.

lonely place

↓

No one will have sex with me.

↓

I'm so close to the end,

close

↓

and all I want is to get laid for the last time.

laid

↓

I have pornographic movies in my apartment,

apartment movies pornographic

↓

and lubricants and amyl nitrate.

nitrate

↓

Chloe...

chloe

↓

Everyone, let's thank Chloe.

chloe

↓

Now, let's... ready ourselves

ready

↓

for guided meditation.

guided meditation

↓

You're standing at the entrance of your cave.

cave entrance standing

↓

You step inside your cave, and you walk.

cave step walk

↓

If I did have a tumor...

tumor

↓

I'd name it Marla.

marla name

↓

Marla...

marla

↓

the little scratch on the roof of your mouth

mouth roof scratch

↓

that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it,

heal

↓

but you can't.

↓

...deeper into your cave

cave deeper

↓

as you walk.

walk

↓

You feel the healing energy of this place

energy healing place

↓

all around you.

↓

Now find your power animal.

animal power

↓

Slide.

slide

↓

OK. Now let's partner up.

partner

↓

Pick someone special to you tonight.

pick special tonight

↓

Hey.

↓

We need to talk.

↓

Sure.

↓

I'm onto you.

↓

What?

↓

Yeah. You're a faker.

↓

You're not dying.

dying

↓

Sorry?

↓

In the Tibetan philosophy, Sylvia Plath sense of the word,

philosophy sense word

↓

I know we're all - we're all dying, all right?

dying

↓

But you're not dying the way Chloe back there is dying.

chloe dying

↓

So?

↓

So you're a tourist.

tourist

↓

OK? I've seen you. I saw you-

seen

↓

saw you at melanoma,

melanoma

↓

saw you at tuberculosis,

↓

I saw you at testicular cancer.

cancer testicular testicular-cancer

↓

I saw you practicing this.

practicing

↓

Practicing what?

practicing

↓

Telling me off.

telling

↓

Is it going as well as you hoped...

hoped

↓

"RUPERT"?

rupert

↓

I'll expose you.

expose

↓

Go ahead. I'll expose you.

ahead expose go-ahead

↓

All right, come together.

↓

Let yourselves cry.

yourselves

↓

Oh, God, why are you doing this?

↓

It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee.

cheaper coffee free movie

↓

No, look...

↓

this is important, OK?

↓

These are my groups.

groups

↓

I've been coming here for over a year.

coming

↓

Why do you do it?

↓

I don't know.

↓

When people think you're dying,

dying

↓

man, they really, really listen to you

↓

instead of just...

↓

Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.

speak waiting

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Share yourself... completely.

completely share

↓

OK, you don't want to get into this.

↓

It becomes an addiction.

addiction becomes

↓

Really?

↓

I'm not kidding.

kidding

↓

I can't cry if there's another faker present,

another present

↓

and I need this.

↓

So you got to find somewhere else to go.

↓

Candy stripe a cancer ward.

cancer candy stripe ward

↓

It's not my problem.

problem

↓

Wait, wait, wait.

↓

Whoa. Hold on. I'll tell you.

whoa

↓

We're gonna split up the week, OK?

split week

↓

You take lymphoma and tuberculosis-

↓

You take tuberculosis.

↓

My smoking doesn't go over at all.

smoking

↓

OK. Good. Fine.

↓

Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.

cancer contest testicular testicular-cancer

↓

Well, technically,

technically

↓

I have more right to be there than you.

↓

You still have your bails.

↓

You're kidding.

kidding

↓

I don't know. Am I?

↓

No. No.

↓

What do you want?

↓

I'll take the parasites.

parasites

↓

You can't have both the parasites,

parasites

↓

but why don't you take the blood parasites-

blood parasites

↓

I want brain parasites.

brain parasites

↓

I'll take the blood parasites,

blood parasites

↓

but I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia-

brain dementia organic

↓

I want that.

↓

You can't have the whole brain.

brain whole

↓

So far you have 4. I only have 2.

↓

OK.

↓

Take both the parasites. They're yours.

parasites

↓

Now we both have 3.

↓

Hey, you left half your clothes!

clothes half left

↓

What, are you selling those?

selling

↓

Yes! I'm selling some clothes.

clothes selling

↓

So,

↓

we each have 3. That's 6.

↓

What about the seventh day? I want ascending bowel cancer.

bowel cancer seventh

↓

The girl had done her homework.

girl homework

↓

Thank you.

↓

No. No, I...

↓

I want bowel cancer.

bowel cancer

↓

That's your favorite, too?

favorite

↓

Try to slip it by me, eh?

slip

↓

Look, we're gonna split it, OK?

split

↓

Take the first and third Sunday of the month.

month sunday third

↓

Deal.

deal

↓

Looks like this is good-bye.

↓

Well, let's not make a big thing out of it, OK?

↓

How's this for not making a big thing?

↓

Hey, Marla!

marla

↓

Marla!

marla

↓

May-Maybe we should exchange numbers.

exchange numbers

↓

Should we?

↓

W-We might want to switch nights.

might nights switch

↓

OK.

↓

This is how I met Marla Singer.

marla marla-singer singer

↓

Marla's philosophy of life

life philosophy

↓

was that she might die at any moment.

might moment

↓

The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't.

tragedy

↓

It doesn't have your name.

name

↓

Who are you,

↓

Cornelius, Rupert,

rupert

↓

Travis,

↓

any of the stupid names

names stupid

↓

you give each night?

night

↓

You wake up at SeaTac.

wake

↓

S.F.O...

↓

L.A.X...

↓

You wake up at O'Hare...

wake

↓

Dallas-Fort Worth...

dallas fort worth

↓

B.W.I...

↓

Pacific, mountain, central...

central mountain pacific

↓

Lose an hour, gain an hour...

gain hour lose

↓

Check-in for that flight doesn't begin

begin check flight

↓

for another 2 hours, sir.

another hours

↓

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

ending life minute

↓

You wake up at Air Harbor international...

harbor international wake

↓

...the aircraft has come to a complete stop.

complete

↓

If you wake up at a different time,

wake

↓

in a different place,

place

↓

could you wake up as a different person?

person wake

↓

Everywhere I travel,

travel

↓

tiny life...

life tiny

↓

single-serving sugar...

serving single sugar

↓

single-serving cream...

cream serving single

↓

single pat of butter...

butter single

↓

a microwave cordon-bleu hobby kit.

hobby microwave

↓

Shampoo-conditioner combos.

conditioner shampoo

↓

Sample package mouthwash, tiny bars of soap.

bars package sample soap tiny

↓

The people I meet on each flight,

flight meet

↓

they're single-serving friends.

friends serving single

↓

Between takeoff and landing, we have our time together,

landing

↓

but that's all we get.

↓

Welcome!

welcome

↓

On a long enough timeline,

timeline

↓

the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

drops rate survival zero

↓

I was a recall coordinator.

coordinator recall

↓

My job was to apply the formula.

apply formula

↓

Here's where the infant

infant

↓

went through the windshield.

windshield

↓

3 points.

points

↓

A new car built by my company

built company

↓

leaves somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour.

hour leaves miles traveling

↓

The rear differential locks up.

differential locks rear

↓

The teenager's braces

braces teenagers

↓

are wrapped around the back seat ashtray.

seat wrapped

↓

Might make a good antismoking ad.

might

↓

The car crashes and burns

burns crashes

↓

with everyone trapped inside.

trapped

↓

Now, should we initiate a recall?

recall

↓

The father must've been huge.

father huge mustve

↓

You see where the fat

↓

has burned to the seat,

burned seat

↓

the polyester shirt?

shirt

↓

- Very modern art. - Ha ha ha!

modern

↓

Take the number of vehicles in the field, "A,"

field number vehicles

↓

multiply it by the probable rate of failure, "B,"

failure multiply rate

↓

then multiply the result

multiply result

↓

by the average out-of - court settlement, "C."

average court settlement

↓

"A" times "B" times "C"

times

↓

equals "X."

equals

↓

If "X" is less than the cost of a recall,

cost less recall

↓

we don't do one.

↓

Are there a lot

↓

of these kinds of accidents?

accidents kinds

↓

You wouldn't believe.

believe

↓

Which car company do you work for?

company

↓

A major one.

major

↓

Every time the plane banked too sharply

plane sharply

↓

on takeoff or landing,

landing

↓

I prayed for a crash

crash

↓

or a midair collision.

collision

↓

Anything.

↓

Life insurance pays off triple

insurance life life-insurance pays triple

↓

if you die on a business trip.

business business-trip trip

↓

"If you are seated in an emergency exit row..."

emergency exit seated

↓

Yeah...

↓

"And you feel you would be unable

unable

↓

or unwilling to perform the duties

duties perform

↓

Listed on the safety card,

card listed safety

↓

please ask a flight attendant

attendant flight

↓

to reseat you."

↓

It's a lot of responsibility.

responsibility

↓

Wanna switch seats?

seats switch switch-seats

↓

No. I'm not sure I'm the man

↓

for that particular job.

particular

↓

An exit-door procedure at 30,000 feet.

door exit feet procedure

↓

Mm-hmm.

↓

The illusion of safety.

illusion safety

↓

Yeah. I guess so.

↓

You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

masks oxygen planes

↓

So you can breathe.

breathe

↓

Oxygen gets you high.

oxygen

↓

In a catastrophic emergency,

emergency

↓

you're taking giant panicked breaths.

giant panicked

↓

Suddenly you become euphoric, docile.

become docile suddenly

↓

You accept your fate.

accept fate

↓

It's all right here.

↓

Emergency water landing-

emergency landing water

↓

600 miles an hour.

hour miles

↓

Blank faces,

blank faces

↓

calm as Hindu cows.

calm cows hindu

↓

That's, um...

↓

That's an interesting theory.

interesting theory

↓

What do you do?

↓

What do you mean?

↓

What do you do for a living?

living

↓

Why? So you can pretend like you're interested?

interested pretend

↓

OK.

↓

You have a kind of sick desperation

desperation sick

↓

in your laugh.

laugh

↓

We have the exact same briefcase.

briefcase exact

↓

Soap.

soap

↓

Sorry?

↓

I make and I sell soap-

sell soap

↓

the yard stick of civilization.

civilization stick yard

↓

And this is how I met...

↓

"Tyler Durden."

durden tyler tyler-durden

↓

Did you know, if you mixed equal parts

equal mixed parts

↓

of gasoline and frozen or angejuice concentrate,

concentrate frozen gasoline

↓

you can make napalm?

↓

No, I did not know that. Is that true?

↓

That's right.

↓

One can make all kinds of explosives

kinds

↓

using simple household items.

household items simple using

↓

Really?

↓

If one were so inclined.

↓

Tyler, you are, by far, the most interesting

interesting tyler

↓

"single-serving" friend I've ever met.

friend serving single

↓

See, obviously,

obviously

↓

everything on a plane is single-serving, even-

plane serving single

↓

Oh, I get it. It's very clever.

clever

↓

Thank you.

↓

How's that working out for you?

working

↓

What?

↓

Being clever.

clever

↓

Great.

↓

Keep it up, then.

↓

Right up.

↓

Now a question of etiquette.

question

↓

As I pass,

pass

↓

do I give you the ass or the crotch?

crotch

↓

How I came to live with Tyler is...

live tyler

↓

airlines have this policy about vibrating luggage.

airlines luggage policy vibrating

↓

Was-Was it ticking?

ticking

↓

Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking,

ticking worry

↓

'cause modern bombs don't tick.

bombs modern tick

↓

Sorry. "Throwers"?

↓

Baggage handlers.

baggage

↓

But when a suitcase vibrates,

suitcase vibrates

↓

then the thrower's gotta call the police.

police

↓

My suitcase... was vibrating?

suitcase vibrating

↓

9 times out of 10, it's an electric razor,

electric razor times

↓

but every once in a while...

↓

it's a dildo.

dildo

↓

Of course, it's company policy

company course policy

↓

never to imply ownership

ownership

↓

in the event of a dildo.

dildo event

↓

We have to use the indefinite article

article

↓

a dildo.

dildo

↓

Never your dildo.

dildo

↓

I don't own a-

↓

I had everything in that suitcase-

suitcase

↓

my CK shirts,

shirts

↓

my DKNY shoes,

shoes

↓

my AX ties.

ties

↓

Never mind.

mind

↓

Hey! That's my car!

↓

Home was a condo on the 15th floor

condo floor home

↓

of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals.

cabinet filing professionals young

↓

The walls were solid concrete.

concrete solid walls

↓

A foot of concrete's important

foot

↓

when your next-door neighbor lets her hearing aid go

door hearing neighbor

↓

and has to watch game shows at full volume...

full game shows volume watch

↓

Or when a volcanic blast

blast

↓

and debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects

effects furniture personal used

↓

blows out of your floor-to-ceiling windows

blows ceiling floor windows

↓

and sails flaming into the night.

flaming night

↓

I suppose these things happen.

happen suppose

↓

There's nothing up there.

↓

You can't go into the unit.

unit

↓

Police orders.

orders police

↓

Do you have somebody you can call?

somebody

↓

How embarrassing.

embarrassing

↓

A house full of condiments and no food.

food full house house-full

↓

The police would later tell me

police

↓

that the pilot light might have gone out,

gone light might pilot

↓

Letting out just a little bit of gas.

letting

↓

That gas could have slowly filled the condo-

condo filled slowly

↓

1,700 square feet of high ceilings

feet square

↓

for days and days.

days

↓

Then the refrigerator's compressor could've clicked on.

clicked couldve

↓

Yeah?

↓

I can hear you breathing, you-

breathing

↓

If you asked me now,

asked

↓

I couldn't tell you why I called him.

called

↓

Hello?

↓

Who's this?

↓

Tyler?

tyler

↓

Who is this?

↓

Um, ahem, we met on the airplane.

ahem airplane

↓

We had the same suitcase.

suitcase

↓

Uh, the clever guy.

clever

↓

Oh, yeah. Right. OK?

↓

I called a second ago.

called second

↓

There was no answer. I'm at a pay phone.

answer phone

↓

Yeah. I star-69ed you.

star

↓

I never pick up my phone.

phone pick

↓

So, what's up, man?

↓

Uh, well...

↓

you're not gonna believe this.

believe

↓

You know, man, it could be worse.

worse

↓

A woman could cut off your penis

penis woman

↓

while you're sleeping

sleeping

↓

and toss it out the window

toss window

↓

of a moving car.

moving

↓

There's always that.

↓

I don't know, its just...

↓

when you buy furniture,

furniture

↓

you tell yourself, that's it.

↓

That's the last sofa I'm gonna need.

sofa

↓

Whatever else happens,

happens

↓

I've got that sofa problem handled.

handled problem sofa

↓

I had it all.

↓

I had a stereo that was very decent,

decent stereo

↓

a wardrobe that was getting very respectable.

respectable wardrobe

↓

I was close to being complete.

close complete

↓

Shit, man. Now it's all gone.

gone

↓

All gone.

gone

↓

Hmm. All gone.

gone

↓

Do you know what a duvet is?

duvet

↓

Comforter.

↓

It's a blanket.

blanket

↓

Just a blanket.

blanket

↓

Why do guys like you and I

↓

know what a duvet is?

duvet

↓

Is this essential to our survival

essential survival

↓

in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?

hunter sense word

↓

No.

↓

What are we, then?

↓

We're, uh, you know, consumers...

↓

Right. We're consumers.

↓

We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession.

lifestyle obsession products

↓

Murder, crime, poverty-

crime murder poverty

↓

these things don't concern me.

concern

↓

What concerns me are celebrity magazines,

celebrity concerns magazines

↓

television with 500 channels,

channels television

↓

some guy's name on my underwear.

name underwear

↓

Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

↓

Martha Stewart.

martha stewart

↓

Fuck Martha Stewart.

fuck martha stewart

↓

Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic.

brass titanic

↓

It's all going down, man.

↓

So fuck off with your sofa units

fuck sofa units

↓

and Strinne green stripe patterns.

green patterns stripe

↓

I say, never be complete.

complete

↓

I say, stop being perfect.

perfect

↓

I say, let's... let's evolve.

evolve

↓

Let the chips fall where they may.

chips fall

↓

But that's me, and I could be wrong.

↓

Maybe it's a terrible tragedy.

tragedy

↓

No. Its just stuff.

stuff

↓

It's not a tragedy, but...

tragedy

↓

Well, you did lose

lose

↓

a lot of versatile solutions for modern living.

living modern solutions versatile

↓

Fuck. You're right.

fuck

↓

No. I don't smoke.

smoke

↓

My insurance is probably gonna cover it, so...

cover insurance

↓

What?

↓

The things you own end up owning you.

owning

↓

But do what you like, man.

↓

Oh, it's late.

late

↓

Hey, thanks for the beer.

beer thanks

↓

Yeah, man.

↓

I should find a hotel.

hotel

↓

Oh.

↓

What?

↓

What?

↓

A hotel.

hotel

↓

Yeah.

↓

Just ask, man.

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

Oh, God.

↓

3 pitchers of beer,

beer pitchers

↓

and you still can't ask.

↓

What?

↓

You called me 'cause you needed a place to stay.

called needed place

↓

Oh, hey, no, no, no.

↓

Yes, you did. So just ask.

↓

Cut the foreplay and just ask, man.

foreplay

↓

Would that be a problem?

problem

↓

Is it a problem for you to ask?

problem

↓

Can I stay at your place?

place

↓

Yeah.

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

I want you to do me a favor.

favor

↓

Yeah, sure.

↓

I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

hard

↓

What?

↓

I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

hard

↓

Let me tell you a little bit

↓

about Tyler Durden.

durden tyler tyler-durden

↓

Tyler was a night person.

night person tyler

↓

While the rest of us were sleeping,

rest sleeping

↓

he worked.

worked

↓

He had one part-time job as a projectionist.

part

↓

See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel.

movie reel

↓

It comes on a few.

comes

↓

So someone has to be there to switch the projectors

switch

↓

at the exact moment that one reel ends

ends exact moment reel

↓

and the next one begins.

begins

↓

If you look for it, you can see these little dots

dots

↓

come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen.

corner hand screen upper

↓

In the industry,

industry

↓

we call them "cigarette burns."

burns cigarette

↓

That's the cue for a changeover.

↓

He flips the projectors,

flips

↓

the movie keeps right on going,

keeps movie

↓

and nobody in the audience has any idea.

audience idea nobody

↓

Why would anyone want this shit-job?

↓

Because it affords him other interesting opportunities.

interesting opportunities

↓

Like splicing single frames of pornography

pornography single splicing

↓

into family films.

family films

↓

So when the snoot y cat and the courageous dog

courageous

↓

with the celebrity voices

celebrity voices

↓

meet for the first time in reel 3,

meet reel

↓

that's when you'll catch a flash

catch flash

↓

of Tyler's contribution to the film.

contribution film tylers

↓

Nobody knows that they saw it,

knows nobody nobody-knows

↓

but they did.

↓

A nice big cock.

cock

↓

Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work.

catch hummingbird tyler

↓

Tyler also works sometimes as a banquet waiter

banquet sometimes tyler waiter works

↓

at the luxurious Pressman Hotel.

hotel luxurious

↓

He was the guerilla terrorist

terrorist

↓

of the food service industry.

food industry service

↓

Do not watch.

watch

↓

I cannot go when you watch.

cannot watch

↓

Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque,

apart lobster

↓

he farted on meringues,

farted

↓

sneezed on braised endive.

sneezed

↓

And as for the cream of mushroom soup,

cream mushroom soup

↓

well...

↓

Go ahead, tell them.

ahead go-ahead

↓

You get the idea.

idea

↓

What do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?

↓

Come on. Do me this one favor.

favor

↓

Why?

↓

Why? I don't know why. I don't know.

↓

I've never been in a fight. Have you?

fight

↓

No, but that's a good thing.

↓

No, it is not.

↓

How much can you know about yourself

↓

if youve never been in a fight?

fight

↓

I don't wanna die without any scars.

scars

↓

So, come on, hit me before I lose my nerve.

lose nerve

↓

God, this is crazy.

crazy

↓

So go crazy. Let 'er rip.

crazy

↓

Hey, I don't know about this.

↓

I don't, either, but who gives a shit?

gives

↓

No one's watching. What do you care?

care ones watching

↓

Wait. This is crazy. You want me to hit you?

crazy

↓

That's right.

↓

What, like, in the face?

face

↓

Surprise me.

surprise

↓

This is so fucking stupid.

fucking fucking-stupid stupid

↓

Ohh!

↓

Motherfucker!

motherfucker

↓

You hit me in the ear.

↓

Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.

jesus

↓

Ow! Christ!

christ

↓

Why the ear, man?

↓

Aw, I fucked it up.

fucked

↓

No. That was perfect.

perfect

↓

Ohh! Uhh!

↓

Nah, it's all right.

↓

That really hurts.

hurts

↓

Right.

↓

Hit me again.

↓

No. You hit me.

↓

Come on.

↓

We should do this again sometime.

sometime

↓

Where's your car?

↓

What car?

↓

I don't know how Tyler found that house,

found house tyler

↓

but he said he'd been there for a year.

↓

It looked like it was waiting to be torn down.

looked torn waiting

↓

Most of the windows were boarded up.

boarded windows

↓

There was no lock on the front door

door front front-door lock

↓

from when the police or whoever kicked it in.

kicked police

↓

The stairs were ready to collapse.

collapse ready stairs

↓

I didn't know if he owned it or if he was squatting.

owned

↓

Neither would have surprised me.

surprised

↓

Yeah. That's you.

↓

That's me.

↓

That's the toilet.

toilet

↓

Good?

↓

Yeah. Thanks.

thanks

↓

What a shit-hole.

hole

↓

Nothing worked.

worked

↓

Turning on one light

light turning

↓

meant another light in the house went out.

another house light meant

↓

There were no neighbors,

neighbors

↓

just some warehouses and a paper mill-

mill paper

↓

that fart smell of steam,

fart smell steam

↓

the hamster cage smell of wood chips.

cage chips hamster smell wood

↓

After work tomorrow, we'll be-

tomorrow

↓

Hey. What have we here?

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

Hey.

↓

It's cool.

cool

↓

Ohh!

↓

Every time it rained, we had to kill the power.

kill power

↓

By the end of the first month,

month

↓

I didn't miss TV.

miss

↓

I didn't even mind the warm, stale refrigerator.

mind refrigerator warm

↓

Can I be next?

↓

All right, man.

↓

Lose the tie.

lose

↓

Ooh!

↓

At night, Tyler and I were alone

alone night tyler

↓

for a half a mile in every direction.

direction half mile

↓

Rain trickled down through the plaster

rain

↓

and the light fixtures.

light

↓

Everything wooden swelled and shrank.

wooden

↓

Everywhere were rusted nails to snag your elbow on.

elbow nails snag

↓

The previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in.

previous

↓

Hey, man, what are you reading?

reading

↓

Listen to this.

↓

It's an article written by an organ

article organ written

↓

in the first person.

person

↓

"I am Jack's medulla oblongata.

jacks

↓

Without me, Jack could not regulate

jack

↓

his heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing."

blood blood-pressure breathing heart heart-rate pressure rate

↓

There's a whole series of these.

series whole

↓

"I am Jill's nipples."

nipples

↓

"I am Jack's colon."

colon jacks

↓

Yeah. "I get cancer. I kill Jack."

cancer jack kill

↓

Whoa-Ohh!

whoa

↓

After fighting,

fighting

↓

everything else in your life got the volume turned down.

life turned volume

↓

What?

↓

You could deal with anything.

deal

↓

Have you finished those reports?

finished reports

↓

If you could fight anyone,

fight

↓

who would you fight?

fight

↓

I'd fight my boss, probably.

boss fight

↓

Really?

↓

Yeah. Why, who would you fight?

fight

↓

I'd fight my dad.

fight

↓

I don't know my dad.

↓

I mean, I know him,

↓

but he left when I was, like, 6 years old,

left years

↓

married this other woman and had some other kids.

kids married woman

↓

He, like, did this every 6 years.

years

↓

He goes to a new city and starts a new family.

city family starts

↓

Fucker should open up franchises.

fucker open

↓

My dad never went to college,

college

↓

so it was real important that I go.

real

↓

That sounds familiar.

familiar sounds sounds-familiar

↓

So I graduate, I call him up long distance.

distance graduate

↓

I say, "Dad, now what?" He says, "Get a job."

↓

Same here.

↓

Now I'm 25.

↓

I make my yearly call again.

↓

I say, "Dad, now what?"

↓

He says, "I don't know. Get married."

married

↓

Eh, I mean...

↓

I can't get married.

married

↓

I'm a 30-year-old boy.

↓

We're a generation of men

generation

↓

raised by women.

raised women

↓

I'm wondering if another woman

another another-woman woman wondering

↓

is really the answer we need.

answer

↓

Most of the week, we were Ozzie and Harriet.

week

↓

But every Saturday night,

night saturday saturday-night

↓

we were finding something out.

finding

↓

We were finding out more and more

finding

↓

that we were not alone.

alone

↓

Who turned the lights off?

lights turned

↓

It used to be

used

↓

that when I came home angry or depressed,

angry depressed home

↓

ld just clean my condo,

clean condo

↓

polish my Scandinavian furniture.

furniture polish

↓

I should've been looking for a new condo.

condo looking shouldve

↓

I should've been haggling with my insurance company.

company insurance insurance-company shouldve

↓

I should've been upset about my nice, neat flaming little shit.

flaming neat shouldve upset

↓

But I wasn't.

↓

The basic premise

basic premise

↓

of cyber-netting any office

cyber office

↓

is make things more efficient.

efficient

↓

Monday mornings, all I could do

monday mornings

↓

was think about next week.

week

↓

Can I get the icon in cornflower blue?

blue icon

↓

Absolutely.

absolutely

↓

Efficiency is priority number one, people,

number priority

↓

because waste is a thief.

thief waste

↓

I showed this already to my man, here.

showed

↓

You liked it, didn't you?

liked

↓

You can swallow a pint of blood

blood pint swallow

↓

before you get sick.

sick

↓

It was right in everyone's face.

everyones face

↓

Tyler and I just made it visible.

tyler visible

↓

It was on the tip of everyone's tongue.

everyones tongue

↓

Tyler and I just gave it a name.

name tyler

↓

Come on, people, you gotta go home.

home

↓

Turn off the jukebox. Lock the back.

jukebox lock

↓

Every week, Tyler gave the rules

rules tyler week

↓

that he and I decided.

decided

↓

Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club.

club fight fight-club gentlemen welcome

↓

The first rule of Fight Club is...

club fight fight-club rule

↓

you do not talk about Fight Club.

club fight fight-club

↓

The second rule of Fight Club is...

club fight fight-club rule second

↓

you do not talk about Fight Club.

club fight fight-club

↓

Third rule of Fight Club-

club fight fight-club rule third

↓

Someone yells "Stop!" Goes limp, taps out,

limp taps yells

↓

the fight is over.

fight

↓

Fourth rule-

fourth rule

↓

Only 2 guys to a fight.

fight

↓

Fifth rule-

fifth rule

↓

One fight at a time, fellas.

fellas fight

↓

Sixth rule - No shirts, no shoes.

rule shirts shoes sixth

↓

Seventh rule-

rule seventh

↓

Fights will go on as long as they have to.

fights

↓

And the eighth and final rule-

eighth final rule

↓

If this is your first night at Fight Club...

club fight fight-club night

↓

you have to fight.

fight

↓

This kid from work, Rick y,

rick

↓

couldn't remember whether you ordered pens

ordered pens remember whether

↓

with blue ink or black...

black blue

↓

Come on, man!

↓

But Ricky was a god for 10 minutes

minutes ricky

↓

when the trounced the maitre d' of a local food court.

court food food-court local

↓

Sometimes, all you could hear

sometimes

↓

were the flat, hard packing sounds

flat hard packing sounds

↓

over the yelling...

yelling

↓

or the wet choke when someone caught their breath

breath caught choke

↓

and sprayed...

sprayed

↓

Stop!

↓

You weren't alive anywhere like you were there.

alive

↓

But Fight Club only exists

club exists fight fight-club

↓

in the hours between when Fight Club starts

club fight fight-club hours starts

↓

and when Fight Club ends.

club ends fight fight-club

↓

Even if I could tell someone they had a good fight,

fight

↓

I wouldn't be talking to the same man.

↓

Who you were in Fight Club

club fight fight-club

↓

is not who you were in the rest of the world.

rest world

↓

The guy who came to Fight Club for the first time,

club fight fight-club

↓

his ass was a wad of cookie dough.

cookie cookie-dough dough

↓

After a few weeks,

weeks

↓

he was carved out of wood.

carved wood

↓

If you could fight any celebrity,

celebrity fight

↓

who would you fight?

fight

↓

Alive or dead?

alive dead

↓

It doesn't matter. Who'd be tough?

matter tough whod

↓

Hemingway.

↓

You?

↓

Shatner.

↓

I'd fight William Shatner.

fight william

↓

We all started seeing things differently.

differently seeing started

↓

Everywhere we went,

↓

we were sizing things up.

↓

I felt sorry for guys packed into gyms,

gyms packed

↓

trying to look like how Calvin Klein

klein

↓

or Tommy Hilfiger said they should.

tommy

↓

Is that what a man looks like?

↓

Ahh. Self-improvement is masturbation.

improvement masturbation self

↓

And self-destruction.

destruction self

↓

Excuse me.

excuse

↓

Kick his ass!

kick

↓

Hit him again, man! Come on! Hit him!

↓

Fight Club wasn't about winning or losing.

club fight fight-club losing winning

↓

It wasn't about words.

words

↓

The hysterical shouting was in tongues,

hysterical shouting tongues

↓

Like in a Pentecostal church.

church

↓

- Is that it? - Stop!

↓

When the fight was over,

fight

↓

nothing was solved,

solved

↓

but nothing mattered.

mattered

↓

Hey, cool.

cool

↓

Afterwards, we all felt saved.

afterwards saved

↓

Hey, man, how about next week?

week

↓

How about next month?

month

↓

I hear you.

↓

Irwin, you're in the middle.

middle

↓

New guy. You, too.

↓

Sometimes, Tyler spoke for me.

sometimes spoke tyler

↓

He fell down some stairs.

fell stairs

↓

I fell down some stairs.

fell stairs

↓

Fight Club became the reason to cut your hair short

became club fight fight-club hair reason short

↓

or trim your fingernails.

fingernails trim

↓

OK. Any historical figure.

figure historical

↓

I'd fight Gandhi.

fight gandhi

↓

Good answer.

answer

↓

How about you?

↓

Lincoln.

lincoln

↓

Lincoln?

lincoln

↓

Mm.

↓

Big guy, big reach.

reach

↓

Skinny guys fight till they're burger.

burger fight skinny till

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

Hey. Even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.

apart falling falling-apart

↓

Hello.

↓

Where have you been

↓

the last 8 weeks?

weeks

↓

Marla?

marla

↓

How'd you find me?

howd

↓

You left that forwarding number.

left number

↓

I haven't seen you in any support groups.

groups seen support

↓

We split them up.

split

↓

That was the idea, remember?

idea remember

↓

Yeah, but you haven't been going to yours.

↓

How do you know?

↓

I cheated.

cheated

↓

I found a new one.

found

↓

Really?

↓

It's for men only.

↓

Like the testicle thing?

testicle

↓

Waaah!

↓

Look, this is a bad time.

↓

I've been going to Debtors Anonymous.

anonymous

↓

You wanna see some really fucked up people?

fucked

↓

I'm just on my way out.

↓

Me, too.

↓

I've got a stomach-full of Xanax.

full stomach

↓

I took what was left of a bottle.

bottle left

↓

It might have been too much.

might

↓

Just picture watching Marla Singer

marla marla-singer picture singer watching

↓

throw herself around her crummy apartment.

apartment throw

↓

But this isn't a for-real suicide thing.

real suicide

↓

This is probably one of those cry-for-help things.

↓

This could go on for hours.

hours

↓

So you're staying in tonight, then?

staying tonight

↓

Do you wanna wait

↓

and hear me describe death?

death describe

↓

Do you wanna listen

↓

and see if my spirit can use a phone?

phone spirit

↓

Have you ever heard a death rattle before?

death heard rattle

↓

Tyler's door was closed.

closed door tylers

↓

I'd been living here for 2 months,

living months

↓

and Tyler's door was never closed.

closed door tylers

↓

You won't believe this dream I had last night.

believe dream night

↓

Yeah, I can hardly believe anything about last night.

believe hardly night

↓

What-What are you doing here?

↓

What?

↓

This is my house. What are you doing in my house?

house

↓

Fuck you.

fuck

↓

Ha ha! Ohh...

↓

Oh, you got some fucked-up friends, I'm tellin' you.

friends fucked tellin

↓

Limber, though...

limber

↓

silly coos.

silly

↓

So, I come in last night. Phone's off the hook.

hook night phones

↓

Guess who's on the other end.

↓

I already knew the story before he told it to me.

story

↓

Have you ever heard a death rattle before?

death heard rattle

↓

Do you think it'll live up to its name?

itll live name

↓

Or will it just be a death... hairball?

death

↓

Prepare... to evacuate soul.

evacuate prepare soul

↓

9...

↓

8...

↓

Now, how could Tyler, of all people,

tyler

↓

think it was a bad thing that Marla Singer was about to die?

marla marla-singer singer

↓

5...

↓

4...

↓

3... Oh, hang on.

hang

↓

You got here fast.

fast

↓

Did I call you?

↓

Huh?

↓

Hey.

↓

The mattress is all sealed in slippery plastic.

mattress plastic sealed slippery

↓

Oh, don't worry. It's not a threat to you.

threat worry

↓

Oh, fuck.

fuck

↓

Somebody called the cops.

called cops somebody

↓

Hey, where's 513?

↓

End of the hall.

hall

↓

You know, the girl who lives there

girl lives

↓

used to be a charming, lovely girl.

charming girl lovely used

↓

She's lost faith in herself.

faith lost

↓

Miss Singer!

miss singer

↓

She's a monster.

monster

↓

You have every reason to live!

live reason

↓

She's infectious human waste!

human waste

↓

Miss Singer!

miss singer

↓

Good luck trying to save her!

luck save

↓

If I fall asleep, I'm done for.

asleep fall fall-asleep

↓

You're gonna have to keep me up...

↓

all... night.

night

↓

Un-fucking-believable.

believable fucking

↓

He was obviously able to handle it.

able handle obviously

↓

You know what I mean. You fucked her.

fucked

↓

No, I didn't.

↓

Never?

↓

No.

↓

You're not into her, are you?

↓

No! God, not at all.

↓

I am Jacks raging bile duct.

duct jack raging

↓

Are you sure? You can tell me.

↓

Believe me, I'm sure.

believe

↓

Put a gun to my head

head

↓

and paint the walls with my brains.

brains paint walls

↓

That's good, 'cause she's a predator

predator

↓

posing as a house pet.

house posing

↓

Stay away from that one.

↓

And the shit that came out of this woman's mouth

mouth womans

↓

I ain't never heard.

aint heard

↓

My God.

↓

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

fucked grade grade-school school

↓

Uhh!

↓

How could Tyler not go for that?

tyler

↓

The night before last, he was splicing

night splicing

↓

sex organs into Cinderella.

organs

↓

Marla doesn't need a lover.

lover marla

↓

She needs a fucking case worker.

case fucking needs worker

↓

She needs a wash. And she's in love with sport fuckin'.

fuckin love needs sport wash

↓

She invaded my support groups.

groups support

↓

Now she'd invaded my home.

home shed

↓

Hey, hey. Sit down.

↓

Now, listen. Can't have you talking to her about me.

↓

Why would I talk to her-

↓

You say anything about me or what goes on in this house

house

↓

to her or to anybody, we're done.

anybody

↓

Now, promise me.

promise

↓

OK.

↓

You promise?

promise

↓

- Yeah, I promise. - Promise.

promise

↓

I just said I promise.

promise

↓

That's 3 times you promised.

promised times

↓

If only I had wasted a couple of minutes

couple minutes wasted

↓

and gone to watch Marla Singer die,

gone marla marla-singer singer watch

↓

none of this would've happened.

happened wouldve wouldve-happened

↓

Unhh! Unhh! Unhh!

↓

Unhh!

↓

Yeah! Oh! Harder! Harder!

harder

↓

Yeah! Ooh! Aah!

↓

Aah! Ohh! Aah!

↓

I could've moved to another room...

another another-room couldve moved room

↓

on the third floor, where I might not have heard them.

floor heard might third third-floor

↓

Oh, baby!

baby

↓

But I didn't.

↓

Ohh!

↓

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

↓

Ohh! Ohh! Aaahh!

aaahh

↓

Aah! Aah! Aah!

↓

- Aah! Ohhh! Ohh! - Ow!

ohhh

↓

Ohh!

↓

What are you doin'?

doin

↓

Just goin' to bed.

goin

↓

Want to finish her off?

finish

↓

Uhh... oh!

↓

No.

↓

No, thank you.

↓

I found the cigarettes.

cigarettes found

↓

Who are you talking to?

↓

Shut up.

↓

I became the calm little center of the world.

became calm center world

↓

I was the Zen master.

master

↓

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

↓

I wrote little haiku poems.

haiku poems wrote

↓

I e-mailed them to everyone.

mailed

↓

Is that your blood?

blood

↓

Some of it, yeah.

↓

You can't smoke in here.

smoke

↓

Take the rest of the day off.

rest

↓

Come back Monday with some clean clothes.

clean clothes monday

↓

Get yourself together.

↓

I got right in everyone's hostile little face.

everyones face hostile

↓

Yes, these are bruises from fighting.

fighting

↓

Yes, I'm comfortable with that.

comfortable

↓

I... am enlightened.

↓

You give up the condo life...

condo life

↓

give up all your flaming worldly possessions...

flaming possessions

↓

go live in a dilapidated house

house live

↓

in a toxic waste part of town...

part town toxic toxic-waste waste

↓

and you have to come home to this.

home

↓

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

↓

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

↓

Hello?

↓

Yes. This is Detective Stern

detective stern

↓

with the Arson Unit.

arson unit

↓

We have some new information

information

↓

about the incident at your former condo.

condo former incident

↓

Yes?

↓

I don't know if youre aware,

aware

↓

but it seems that someone sprayed Freon

seems sprayed

↓

into your front door lock,

door front front-door lock

↓

then tapped it with a chisel to shatter the cylinder.

shatter tapped

↓

No, I wasn't aware of that at all.

aware

↓

I am Jacks cold sweat.

cold jack sweat

↓

Does this sound strange to you?

sound strange

↓

Uh, yes, sir. Strange. Very strange.

strange

↓

The dynamite-

dynamite

↓

Dynamite?

dynamite

↓

Left a residue

left

↓

of ammonium oxalate potassium chloride.

ammonium potassium

↓

Do you know what this means?

↓

No. What does it mean?

↓

It means it was homemade.

homemade

↓

I'm sorry. This is just coming

coming

↓

as quite a shock to me, sir.

shock

↓

See, whoever set this homemade dynamite

dynamite homemade

↓

could've blown out your pilot light

blown couldve light pilot

↓

days before the actual explosion.

actual days explosion

↓

The gas was just the detonator.

↓

Who would go and do such a thing?

↓

I'll ask the questions.

questions

↓

Tell him. Tell him the liberator

↓

who destroyed my property has realigned my perception.

destroyed perception property

↓

Excuse me. Are you there?

excuse

↓

No, I am listening. It's a little hard to know

hard listening

↓

what to make of all this.

↓

Have you recently made enemies with anyone

enemies recently

↓

who might have access to homemade dynamite?

access dynamite homemade might

↓

- Enemies? - Reject the basic

basic enemies reject

↓

assumption of civilization,

civilization

↓

especially the importance of material possessions.

especially importance material possessions

↓

Son, this is serious.

serious

↓

Yes, I know it's serious.

serious

↓

I mean that.

↓

Yes, it's very serious.

serious

↓

Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me.

nobody takes

↓

That condo was my life.

condo life

↓

OK? I loved every stick of furniture in that place.

furniture loved place stick

↓

That was not just a bunch of stuff

bunch stuff

↓

that got destroyed.

destroyed

↓

It was me!

↓

I'd like to thank the Academy.

academy

↓

Is this not a good time for you?

↓

Just tell him you fuckin' did it.

fuckin

↓

Shhh!

shhh

↓

Tell him you blew it all up.

blew

↓

That's what he wants to hear.

wants

↓

Are you still there?

↓

Wait. Are you saying that I'm a suspect?

suspect

↓

No, no. I may need to talk to you a little further,

further

↓

so how about you just lettin' me know if youre gonna leave town?

lettin town

↓

OK?

↓

OK.

↓

Except for their humping,

except humping

↓

Tyler and Marla were never in the same room.

marla room tyler

↓

My parents pulled this exact same act for years.

exact parents pulled years

↓

The condom is the glass slipper of our generation.

condom generation glass

↓

You slip one on when you meet a stranger.

meet slip stranger

↓

You... dance all night.

dance night

↓

Then you throw it away.

throw

↓

The condom, I mean. Not the stranger.

condom stranger

↓

What?

↓

I got this dress at a thrift store for $1.00.

dress store

↓

It was worth every penny.

penny worth

↓

It's a bridesmaid's dress.

dress

↓

Someone loved it... intensely

loved

↓

for one day...

↓

then tossed it.

tossed

↓

Like a Christmas tree...

christmas christmas-tree tree

↓

so special...

special

↓

then... bam...

↓

it's on the side of the road...

road side

↓

tinsel still clinging to it...

clinging

↓

Like a sex crime victim...

crime victim

↓

underwear inside out...

underwear

↓

bound with electrical tape.

bound electrical tape

↓

Well, then it suits you.

suits

↓

You can borrow it sometime.

borrow sometime

↓

Get rid of her.

↓

Why can't you get rid of her?

↓

Don't mention me.

mention

↓

I'm 6 years old again,

years

↓

passing messages between parents.

messages parents passing

↓

I really think it's time you got out of here.

↓

Don't worry. I'm leaving.

leaving worry

↓

Not that we don't love your little visits.

love visits

↓

You are such a nut case.

case

↓

I can't even begin to keep up.

begin

↓

Gotta get off

↓

Thanks. Bye.

thanks

↓

Gotta get off this merry-go-round

merry round

↓

Gotta get on where

↓

You kids.

kids

↓

Wh... Why do you still waste time with her?

waste

↓

I'll say this about Marla-

marla

↓

at least she's tryin' to hit bottom.

bottom least tryin

↓

What, and I'm not?

↓

Stickin' feathers up your butt

butt feathers

↓

does not make you a chicken.

chicken

↓

What are we doin' tonight?

doin tonight

↓

- Tonight? - Yeah.

tonight

↓

We make soap.

soap

↓

Really.

↓

To make soap, first we render fat.

soap

↓

The salt balance has to be just right,

balance salt

↓

so the best fat for making soap comes from humans.

best comes humans soap

↓

Wait. What is this place?

place

↓

A liposuction clinic.

clinic

↓

Aha! Pay dirt.

dirt

↓

The richest, creamiest fat in the world.

world

↓

Fat of the land.

land

↓

Come on.

↓

Oh, God! Oh!

↓

Get another one. Unhh!

another

↓

As the fat renders, the tallows float to the surface.

float surface

↓

Like in Boy Scouts.

scouts

↓

I can imagine you as a Boy Scout.

imagine scout

↓

Keep stirrin'.

↓

Once the tallow hardens,

↓

we skim off a layer of glycerin.

layer

↓

If you were to add nitric acid, you got nitroglycerin.

acid

↓

If you were then to add sodium nitrate

nitrate

↓

and a dash of sawdust, you got dynamite.

dash dynamite

↓

Yeah, with enough soap,

soap

↓

we could blow up just about anything.

blow

↓

Tyler was full of useful information.

full information tyler useful

↓

Now, ancient peoples found that clothes got cleaner

ancient cleaner clothes found peoples

↓

when they washed them at a certain point in the river.

certain certain-point point river washed

↓

- You know why? - No.

↓

Human sacrifices were once made

human sacrifices

↓

on the hills above this river.

hills river

↓

Bodies burned. Water seeped into the wood and ashes

ashes bodies burned water wood

↓

to create lye.

create

↓

This is lye, the crucial ingredient.

crucial

↓

Once it mixed with the melted fat of bodies,

bodies melted mixed

↓

a thick, white, soapy discharge

discharge thick white

↓

crept into the river. May I see your hand, please?

hand river

↓

What is this?

↓

This... is chemical burn.

burn chemical

↓

Uh-Aah! Aah!

↓

It'll hurt more than you've ever been burned,

burned hurt itll

↓

and you will have a scar.

scar

↓

If meditation worked for cancer, it could work for this.

cancer meditation worked

↓

Stay with the pain. Don't shove to center.

center pain shove

↓

No, no! Oh, God!

↓

Look at your hand.

hand

↓

The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes,

ashes heroes soap

↓

Like the first monkey shot into space.

monkey shot space

↓

Without pain, without sacrifice,

pain sacrifice

↓

we would have nothin'.

nothin

↓

I tried not to think of the the words "sear" or "flesh."

flesh tried words

↓

Stop it! This is your pain.

pain

↓

This is your burning hand. It's right here.

burning hand

↓

I'm going to my cave.

cave

↓

I'm going to my cave and find my power animal.

animal cave power

↓

No! Don't deal with it the way those dead people do!

dead deal

↓

Come on!

↓

I get the point! OK! Please!

point

↓

No. What you're feeling is premature enlightenment.

feeling

↓

This is the greatest moment of your life, man,

greatest greatest-moment life moment

↓

and you're off somewhere-

↓

Shut up.

↓

Our fathers were our models for God.

fathers models

↓

If our fathers bailed,

bailed fathers

↓

what does that tell you about God?

↓

No, no.

↓

Listen to me.

↓

You have to consider the possibility

consider possibility

↓

that God does not like you,

↓

He never wanted you.

wanted

↓

In all probability, He hates you.

hates

↓

This is not the worst thing that can happen.

happen worst

↓

We don't need Him.

↓

We don't! I agree!

agree

↓

Fuck damnation, man. Fuck redemption.

damnation fuck redemption

↓

We are God's unwanted children?

children gods unwanted

↓

So be it!

↓

Listen! You can run water over your hand

hand water

↓

to make it worse, or- Look at me-

worse

↓

or you can use vinegar to neutralize the burn.

burn vinegar

↓

Please let me have some! Please!

↓

First you have to give up.

↓

First you have to know, not fear,

fear

↓

know that someday you're gonna die.

someday

↓

You don't know how this feels!

feels

↓

It's only after we've lost everything

lost

↓

that we're free to do anything.

free

↓

OK.

↓

Congratulations.

congratulations

↓

You're one step closer to hitting bottom.

bottom closer hitting step

↓

Tyler sold his soap to department stores

department soap sold stores tyler

↓

at $20 a bar.

↓

God knows what they charged.

charged knows

↓

This is the best soap.

best soap

↓

Why, thank you, Suzie.

↓

It was beautiful.

↓

We were selling rich women

rich selling women

↓

their own fat asses back to them.

asses

↓

He was wearing his yellow tie.

wearing yellow

↓

I didn't even wear a tie to work anymore.

anymore wear

↓

"The first rule of Fight Club

club fight fight-club rule

↓

is you don't talk about Fight Club"?

club fight fight-club

↓

I'm half asleep again.

asleep half

↓

I must've left the original in the copy machine.

copy left machine mustve original

↓

"The second rule of Fight Club - " is this yours?

club fight fight-club rule second

↓

Huh?

↓

Pretend you're me.

pretend

↓

Make a managerial decision.

decision

↓

You find this. What would you do?

↓

Well, I gotta tell ya...

↓

I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that.

careful

↓

Because the person who wrote that...

person wrote

↓

is dangerous.

dangerous

↓

And this buttoned-down, oxford-cloth psycho

psycho

↓

might just snap

might snap

↓

and then stalk from office to office

office stalk

↓

with an Armilade AR-10 carbine gas-powered

powered

↓

semi-automatic weapon,

automatic weapon

↓

pumping round after round

pumping round

↓

into colleagues and coworkers.

colleagues

↓

This might be someone you've known for years...

known might years

↓

someone very... very... close to you.

close

↓

Tyler's words coming out of my mouth.

coming mouth tylers words

↓

And I used to be such a nice guy.

used

↓

Maybe you shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash

bring piece trash

↓

you happen to pick up.

happen pick

↓

Liability.

liability

↓

My tit's gonna rot off.

tits

↓

Will you excuse me? I need to take this.

excuse

↓

What're you talking about?

whatre

↓

I need you to check and see if there's a lump in my breast.

breast check lump

↓

Go to a hospital.

hospital

↓

I can't afford to throw money away on a doctor.

afford doctor money throw

↓

I don't know about this, Marla.

marla

↓

Please?

↓

She didn't call Tyler.

tyler

↓

I'm neutral in her book.

book neutral

↓

That's nice.

↓

Taking food to Mrs...

food

↓

Hanna burr, Mrs. Raines?

↓

Who are they... exactly?

↓

Tragically, they're dead.

dead tragically

↓

I'm alive, and I'm in poverty.

alive poverty

↓

You want any?

↓

No. No.

↓

I got one for you.

↓

Thanks for the thought.

thanks

↓

What happened to your hand?

hand happened

↓

Uh... nothin'.

nothin

↓

Right there.

↓

Uhh.

↓

Feel anything?

↓

No.

↓

Well, make sure.

↓

Ok, I'm - I'm pretty sure.

↓

You feel nothing.

↓

No. Nothing.

↓

Well, that's a relief.

relief

↓

Thank you.

↓

Uh, um... no problem.

problem

↓

I wish I could return the favor.

favor return wish

↓

There's not a lot of breast cancer in the men in my family.

breast breast-cancer cancer family

↓

Could check your prostate.

check prostate

↓

I think I'm OK.

↓

Well, thanks, anyway.

thanks

↓

Are we done?

↓

Yeah, we're done. See you... around.

↓

Cornelius?

↓

Cornelius!

↓

It's me...

↓

Bob!

↓

Hey... Bob.

↓

Hey. Uhh!

↓

We all thought you were dead.

dead

↓

No, no. Still here.

↓

How are you, Bob?

↓

Better than I've ever been in my whole life.

life whole whole-life

↓

Really. You still remaining men together?

remaining

↓

No, no. I got somethin' so much better now.

somethin

↓

Really. What is it?

↓

Well...

↓

first rule is...

rule

↓

I'm not supposed to talk about it.

supposed

↓

And the second rule is,

rule second

↓

I'm not supposed to talk about it.

supposed

↓

And the third rule is...

rule third

↓

Bob. Bob. I'm a member.

member

↓

Look at my face, Bob.

face

↓

That's fuckin' - That's fuckin' great.

fuckin

↓

I've... lve never seen you there.

seen

↓

I go Tuesdays and Thursdays.

thursdays tuesdays

↓

I go Saturday.

saturday

↓

Congratulations.

congratulations

↓

Yeah. Hey, to both of us, right?

↓

Have you heard about the guy that invented this thing?

heard invented

↓

Well, uh, yeah, actually. I-

↓

I hear all kinds of things.

kinds

↓

Supposedly... he was born in a mental institution.

born institution mental mental-institution supposedly

↓

And he sleeps only one hour a night.

hour night sleeps

↓

He's a great man.

↓

Oh...

↓

do you know about Tyler Durden?

durden tyler tyler-durden

↓

Ha ha ha!

↓

Take him down!

↓

Take him down!

↓

Take him down!

↓

I didn't hurt you, did I?

hurt

↓

Actually, you did.

↓

Thank you for this.

↓

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

↓

Fight Club.

club fight fight-club

↓

Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob.

↓

This was mine and Tyler's gift...

gift tylers

↓

our gift to the world.

gift world

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Look around. Look around.

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