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🎲 Surprise Me

Showing 48 of 498879 GIFs

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But first, would you like to spend the rest of your life alone?
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-Aww! -Dad?
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NO WAY.
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Look, Bob, I just... I don't have the energy for all that stuff.
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and dispenses clichés!
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and following you, of sorts.
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l left something in the living room. Will you check it out for me?
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Let it go, Lois.
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Fine.
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Mum! Can you take out Chattermax's batteries?!
batteries
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for overpriced real estate?
estateoverpricedrealreal-estate
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Guys, Jesus. This is crazy.
crazyjesus
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And I hate you.
hate
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-That's kind of bumming me out.-It's clear. Very clear.
clear
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- Hello. - Brian, help!
brian
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When I met you.
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Wouldn't even want to use this "ChatGBD."
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It's all my baseballs.
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Gru! Gru, can you hear me?
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I don't think it's one
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We did everything we could for him.
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Kronk, why you go now?
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It's too much for you.
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-Oh, that’s good. That’s good. -That’s so sweet.
sweet
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Hello? Is this the emergency services?
emergencyservices
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See? That's a picture of Mieke and that's his cute cousin, Jan.
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Oh, God, here she goes again!
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that he really cares about you.
cares
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stayed up for 48 fucking straight hours
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Uh, well, you know those really cheap Japanese cartoons?
cartoonscheapjapanese
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Wow, this is, like, the world's best cheesecake!
bestcheesecakeworldsworlds-best
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Because apparently everything I say or type
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And you--you deserve to be rewarded.
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Todd. Oh, my god, Todd.
todd
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What do you mean?
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Pretty much what I expected.
expected
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- You are pizza? - Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it.
pizza
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I've had two sundaes and four snow cones.
conesfoursnow
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No, what are you talking about? These are kittens.
kittens
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the effects of the giant ash snake
effectsgiantsnake
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Look, you can see his heartbeat.
heartbeat
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I just act like, you know, Carol-fucking-Brady all day.
bradycarolfucking
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while we're on me, just for a second,
second
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♪
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And...
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and a Mesopotamian god named "Way."
named
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DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY OR DO YOU WANT ME TO BE IN PRISON?
happyprison
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Okay, and actually, the signature page...
pagesignature