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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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aa1c3a73-70a9-4cb2-810b-80e820303193.gif
- Yeah, that was pretty much it.
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eae19bae-419b-4478-87cc-57e521fe3c48.gif
- Yeah, that's pretty conniving.
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So I guess you're not just a face.
face
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You've got a brain too.
brain
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- Oh, yeah, I got a big old brain.
brain
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Yeah, PhD from Harvard.
harvard
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- You know, I just thought of a really fun way
fun
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that we could get back at our folks.
folks
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♪
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Lock the door.
doorlock
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You sure?
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- Devastate me.
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♪
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- I'll get the art room today.
roomtoday
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- Oh, okay, just 'cause they gave you the keys,
keys
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you my boss now?
boss
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- Oh, hey, Dale. What's up?
dale
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- Oh, boy. Uh, let me stop you right there.
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You are clearly a good and kind person
person
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who deserves happiness with someone.
deserveshappiness
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But I am not that someone.
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And you have to get that through your head.
head
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- The best thing for you to do
best
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is just forget about me.
forget
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You can tell your parents we're dating, if that's helpful.
datinghelpfulparents
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- Twenty-five, bitches.
bitchesfivetwentytwenty-five
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Yeah, after a very productive meeting with Sadie Rodonski
meetingproductivesadie
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this morning, I have now had sex with 25 women.
morningwomen
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And am armed with a bombshell that is going to destroy
armedbombshelldestroy
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Old Brandon's life.
life
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- So you just had sex before work?
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- Yeah, man.
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- Are you prepared for the consequences?
consequencesprepared
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She could get pregnant.
pregnant
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- No, we were safe. We were safe.
safe
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It's fine. It's fine.
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I think...
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I think we'll be...fine.
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The sperm can't crack the lady's eggshell
crackladyssperm
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unless they're in love.
love
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Wow, you guys really do need Sex Ed.
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Plus, you're focused on the wrong part, man.
focusedpartplus
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I have my bombshell. This is great.
bombshell
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All I have to do now is call Old Brandon,
brandon
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arrange to meet him at my mom's grave,
arrangegravemeetmomsmoms-grave
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and then...
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Using sex as a weapon seems extreme, even for you.
extremeseemsusingweapon
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- Marcus, I'm not using sex as a weapon.
marcususingweapon