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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (89094)

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What in the hell is going on? What is wrong with you people?
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I am sexually...
sexually
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I am sexually attractive.
attractivesexually
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I am an attractive man. (sobs)
attractivesobs
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- Bam. - What the hell is that?
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$443.
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Listen, Mac, let's just end this right now.
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I only slept with you to piss Frank off.
frankpissslept
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Afterward I felt like I was gonna throw up.
throw
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- Frank makes you want to throw up? - No. You're not listening.
franklisteningmakesthrow
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It's you that makes me want to throw up.
makesthrow
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Oh. So you don't want to be my girlfriend anymore?
anymoregirlfriend
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- Jesus Christ. - Wait a second. Hold on.
christjesusjesus-christsecond
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Wait! I'm confused. So you don't want to be my girlfriend anymore?
anymoreconfusedgirlfriend
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- Hey. - Oh, shit!
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No, Mac, it's okay. It's all right.
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- Listen, uh... - Okay, let me explain.
explain
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No, no. I understand, okay?
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- You do? - Yeah.
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Look, I... I think I know how you're feeling.
feeling
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Oh, man. That is such a relief.
relief
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Check this out. I...
check
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- You've done well. - Thank you.
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And your date with the waitress is all set up.
datewaitress
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- That is so wonderful. - I have to ask you though.
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How did you know that your mom wasn't gonna sleep with Dennis?
dennissleep
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Hmm.
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Guess I kind of overlooked that detail. Okay, time for phase three.
detailphasethree
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No, Charlie. You said there were only two phases.
charlie
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This one's easy.
easyones
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Okay. Phase three complete.
completephasethree
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- It looks good? - You look really good.
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- You sure? - Yes.
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- You're all done? - I'm all done. You look great.
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- Okay. Thanks for helping me out. - You're welcome.
helpingthankswelcome
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The waitress is gonna be here soon. I'm gonna go back to bartending,
bartendingwaitress
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and you will go back to handling poo-poo.
handling
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- Okay. Phase four. - No! No.
fourphase
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- I got a quick phase four. - Charlie.
charliefourphasequick
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- Let me squeeze a phase four in. - I won't. You cannot...
cannotfourphasesqueeze
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- Just give me one little phase... - No. No.
phase
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- Okay, fine! It's over. Okay? - Thank you.
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You are hereby released of all Charlie work.
charlieherebyreleased
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Hey, guys, uh, can you do me a favor and not get too drunk?
drunkfavor
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All right? 'Cause I got some kegs that I need changing.
changingkegs
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Uh, there's, like, you know what? There's rats down in the rat traps.
ratstraps
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Hello, gang!
gang
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You're lookin' at the new Frank. Ooh!
franklookin