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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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I mean, Ohio is back to abstinence-only education.
educationohio
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Our-- - Come on.
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I need to give these kids condoms.
condomskids
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Ralph, they work.
ralph
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Otherwise Keith and I would have...
keithotherwise
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100 or so kids.
kids
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Maybe two-hundy.
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- Okay, Michelle, thank you for being so open,
michelleopen
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but the only thing that we're allowed to say about condoms
allowedcondoms
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is that they are 2% ineffective
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and everyone is watching you while you buy them.
watching
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So our only option is to scare these kids off of sex entirely.
entirelykidsoptionscare
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- Ralph. Ralph, Ralph.
ralph
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My kids are in no danger of getting laid, okay?
dangerkidslaid
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They do not need a sex deterrent, trust me.
deterrenttrust
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If anybody needs a sex deterrent,
anybodydeterrentneeds
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it's wrinkly old gigolos who travel from town to town,
towntravel
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seducing innocent old moms who just want to enjoy a nice day
enjoyinnocentmoms
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at the rodeo. That's all they want.
rodeo
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Eh...
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- I don't recognize this country anymore.
anymorecountryrecognize
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- If we're gonna settle the score with Old Brandon,
brandonscoresettle
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we're gonna have to divide and conquer.
divide
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All right, B-squad's got the babies under control.
babiescontrol
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A-squad, let's hear what you've got on devastating Old Brandon.
brandondevastatingsquad
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- Just tell him that your mom
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slept with everyone on the block.
blockslept
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- Come on, Anthony, I can't use that.
anthony
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All right, keep in mind, this is a bombshell
bombshellmind
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that's gonna be dropped at her grave.
droppedgrave
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- And it's her birthday, Anthony.
anthonybirthday
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Show some respect.
respect
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- You know, sometimes I get mad because I don't want to be sad.
sometimes
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- I'm just saying maybe you're really sad.
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- About your mom's birthday.
birthdaymoms
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- You know what's really sad is watching you guys
watching
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trying to analyze me with your unfinished brains.
brains
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Somebody give me something I can use, please.
somebody
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Heather, go.
heather
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- Two words: sucker punch.
punchsuckerwords
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- All right, that's in the right area.
area
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Can't do that, though.
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Fighting an old man's kind of what got me banished
banishedfightingmans
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at Toledo in the first place. Come on, guys!
placetoledo
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Come on!
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Don't you care that this man banged my mom?
bangedcare
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Son of a bitch! - Seems like you're being
bitchseems
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a bit of a prude.
prude