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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (89094)

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Why don't you read up on some of the program's stipulations?
programsread
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- Oh, that's big. - The Facebook?
facebook
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No, "Rules and Regulations". It's, uh, sort of a legal document.
documentlegalregulationsrules
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- Now, is there any way around this? - None whatsoever.
whatsoever
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- Okay. - All right, well...
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- Thank you for your time. - We got this, so we'll read it.
read
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Have a good one. I'm not reading that.
reading
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- No, I'm not reading this either. - We'll get Frank to do it.
frankreading
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Maybe get a slave to do it.
slave
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- Oh, look what the cat dragged in. - Oh, well...
dragged
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I see you've decided to steal our welfare idea.
decidedideastealwelfare
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- I can't say I'm surprised. - We're not stealing your idea.
ideastealingsurprised
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Let's all recognize that this is a little awkward situation
awkwardrecognizesituation
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between friends at the welfare store.
friendsstorewelfare
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- Let's go our separate ways, okay? - You guys can't get welfare!
separatewayswelfare
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- Uh, yeah. We can. - No, you can't!
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They don't give it to any jackass that walks in here.
jackasswalks
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It's reserved for people who need it, okay?
reserved
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- Drug addicts, mentally disabled... - Mac, we've got it covered. Dee?
addictscovereddisableddrugdrug-addictsmentally
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Your bicycle helmet.
bicyclehelmet
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Later, boners.
boners
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(sighs) - That's an awesome helmet. - What? Go! Out!
awesomehelmetsighs
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Hello.
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Hi. Um, I'm a recovering crackhead.
recovering
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This is my retarded sister that I take care of.
careretardedsister
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I'd like some welfare, please.
welfare
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You're a recovering crack addict?
addictcrackcrack-addictrecovering
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- Yep. - Mmm-hmm.
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And she's mentally retarded?
mentallyretarded
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Oh, most definitely.
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You have the proper medical paperwork?
medicalpaperworkproper
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Medical paperwork?
medicalpaperwork
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We're gonna need a physician's report
physiciansreport
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to confirm your sister's mental illness,
confirmillnessmentalsisters
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and your blood work to confirm your...
bloodconfirm
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... crack addiction.
addictioncrack
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Well... Can't you see how retarded she is?
retarded
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(grunting)
grunting
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(sighs) Lose the helmet, sis. We can't prove that you're retarded.
helmetloseproveretardedsighs
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- I want that welfare, Dennis. - I know you do. So do I.
denniswelfare
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You don't understand. I got a taste of my dream. I can't go back.
dreamtaste
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I got to get to Broadway, and welfare's the key.
broadway
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- What do you wanna do? - Oh, they wanna play rough?
rough
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We can play rough. Let's go buy some crack.
crackrough
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(sirens wailing) (dog barking)
barkingsirenssirens-wailingwailing
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Okay, thank you. We're all set. Friday, 3:00. Full blood work.
bloodfridayfull
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- We'll just smoke a little bit. - A little bit.
smoke
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- Enough to get into our system. - And then we'll go to the doctor.
doctorsystem