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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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she had a secret boyfriend, Marcus.
boyfriendmarcussecret
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But she was actually protecting
protecting
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her real secret boyfriend, Devin,
boyfrienddevinrealsecret
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not realizing Marcus is secretly dating Sarika,
datingmarcusrealizingsarikasecretly
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who got super-jealous.
jealoussuper
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So Sarika decided to revenge-date Devin.
datedecideddevinrevengesarika
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But Devin is fluid, so he may actually like me.
devinfluid
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And unrelatedly, Colin lost his retainer
colinlostretainer
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and is afraid to tell his mom,
afraid
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and no one is talking to anyone, a-and we're drowning!
drowning
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Colin, you need to just tell your mom.
colin
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- Okay, hey, guys, guys, guys.
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I mean, don't you realize how meaningless
meaninglessrealize
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these little teenage crushes are?
teenage
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Come on, only adult romances actually mean anything.
adult
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Look, the point is, you should
point
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all just be focused on your friendships.
focusedfriendships
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Don't worry about all this petty dating stuff.
datingpettystuffworry
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Okay? You should all be downing shots together
shots
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and doing dances based on natural disasters, you know?
baseddancesnatural
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Leave all this other crap behind, you know?
behind
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Otherwise, you're just gonna be stuck in Toledo goin' it alone.
alonegoinotherwisestucktoledo
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Look, you're gonna have your whole lives
liveswhole
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to worry about dating, 'kay?
datingworry
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Right now, honestly, you should probably
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You guys all masturbate, right?
masturbate
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Yeah?
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Show of hands real quick.
handsquickrealreal-quick
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- Oh, no...
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- Yeah, that's tough. That's tough.
tough
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- I noticed you weren't entangled
noticed
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in any of the love triangles.
lovetriangles
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You prefer to stay above the fray.
frayprefer
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- I don't mess with this kid stuff.
messstuff
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I'm looking for a real woman.
lookingrealreal-womanwoman
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.
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.
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- According to this gossip column,
accordinggossip
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my nemesis, Miles, is dating Lisa Loeb.
datinglisamilesnemesis
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Songbird. Sex in glasses.
glasses
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Meanwhile, I have had zero bangs
bangsmeanwhilezero
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since moving to this garbage pile of a town.
garbagemovingpiletown
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That's not gonna work for me, so new plan.
plan
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Break up Miles and Lisa Loeb.
breaklisamiles
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The hell's going on here?
hells
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- It's parent-teacher day.
parentteacher
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Well...
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Welcome to A.P. Bio.
welcome