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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (89094)

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- You want me to call the cops? - Not yet.
cops
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I've got a better idea. Let's screw this son of a bitch.
bitchideascrew
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Come on, Morris. We don't have time for this.
morris
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He called us nerds, Gary.
calledgarynerds
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Nerds.
nerds
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Are you gonna take care of the crime problem here?
carecrimeproblem
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Absolutely. I say we put 'em on busses, ship 'em over to Iraq
absolutelyiraqship
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make 'em fight the terrorists. - You're very handsome. (giggles)
fightgiggleshandsometerrorists
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- Thank you. - This is going very well, man.
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- People are responding to me. - They love the bone structure.
boneloverespondingstructure
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- They like the Kennedy hair. - I've been looking for you guys.
hairkennedylooking
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I've been thinkin', and I feel like I could be a real asset to you guys.
assetrealthinkin
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- I want to help. - What? Wait, wait.
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First you wash your hands of politics. Now you want back in.
handspoliticswash
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That's called flip-flopping. That's what Democrats do.
calledflip
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Hang on a second. Let's give the guy a chance to prove himself.
chancehangprovesecond
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Yeah. Give me a chance. What should I do?
chance
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"What should I do?" Strike one, buddy.
buddystrike
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You gotta bring something to the table, Mac.
bringtable
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All right. Ah, check this out.
check
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Excuse me. Hi.
excuse
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I couldn't help but notice your adorable baby.
adorablebabynotice
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- Oh, thank you.
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Yeah, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind
mindwondering
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f that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it.
gentlemanhandsomekissedyoung
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- Excuse me? - Oh. I'm sorry.
excuse
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He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool.
comptrollercooldistrictrunning
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- You know, I'd rather not. - It's good for him, and for you.
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- You should just give me the baby. (crying) - Please leave me alone.
alonebabycrying
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Okay, lady.
lady
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If you give me the baby, I could get it over with.
baby
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- I said no! - Goddamn it! Just give me the baby!
babygoddamngoddamn-it
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- Somebody help me! - Lady! Give me the ba...
ladysomebody
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- This is campaign suicide, dude. - Let's get outta here.
campaignouttasuicide
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There, there, there.
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There, there, there. Take a look.
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- Got it on? Sure? - Yeah. Take a look.
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- What do you think? - I think I look like a whore.
whore
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- I'm trying to make you sexy. - This is not sexy.
sexy
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- What is this? What's this? - It's the bed look.
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The tossed look. The ruffled look.
tossed
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You look like you just... Anyway, we have to convince this guy...
convince
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That we're a legitimate threat to his campaign.
campaignlegitimatethreat
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There is nothing more threatening to a man
threatening
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than a woman who is smart and attractive.
attractivesmartwoman
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- We have to pretend you're both. - Wow. You're a horrible father.
fatherhorriblepretend
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- Let's just go. Let's get it done. - Great. Great.
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Now, Daddy hates to say this, but...
daddyhates