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Results (89094)

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Mac, we have this same conversation every year.
conversation
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There's nothing you can do about taxes.
taxes
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You guys might want to think about voting every once in a while.
mightvoting
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- What has voting ever done? - Why... Since wh... What has...
voting
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- Why are you comin'down... Voting? - Who am I supposed to vote for?
supposedvotevoting
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Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat
supposedvote
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who's gonna blast me in the ass...
blast
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or the Republican who's blasting my ass?
blastingrepublican
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Politics is just one big ass blast.
blastpolitics
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It is a coast-to-coast, nationwide ass blast.
blastcoastnationwide
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No more! You guys are such morons.
morons
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If you knew about politics, you would know that that is not true.
politics
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Deandra, it's just some jerk gettin' into office
deandragettinjerkoffice
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so he can get out for the payday.
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Right. The guy's runnin' for office. He's... What? What payday?
officerunnin
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I see it every year.
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Some clown runs for office, drops out of the race
clowndropsofficeraceruns
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and gets a big chunk of dough.
dough
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I mean, you have to be a real low-life piece of shit
lifepiecereal
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to get involved in politics.
involvedpolitics
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Okay. I just got off the phone with the city clerk.
cityclerkphone
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Turns out there's an election comin' up.
cominelectionturns
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Local, small-time shit. Anybody can run.
anybodylocal
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- What's the position? - "South Philly, Zone 2,
phillypositionsouthsouth-phillyzone
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"District 37 Comptroller."
comptrollerdistrict
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- Nice. What's a comptroller? - Who gives a shit, dude?
comptrollergives
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We're doin' it for the bribe. I nominate Dennis.
bribedennisdoin
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- I accept your nomination. - Wait a minute.
acceptminute
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How come he gets to be the candidate?
candidate
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Take a look at that hair... Kennedy hair.
hairkennedy
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Note the bone structure. It's like a young J.F.K.
bonenotestructureyoung
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I got the same bone structure.
bonestructure
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(hemming and hawing)
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What are you making that noise... What is that about?
noise
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You got something funky goin' on in the forehead area.
areaforeheadfunkygoin
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- Five head. - Did you say five head?
fivehead
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I don't have that.
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Deandra, a woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus.
deandradonkeypoliticswoman
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Come on. There are plenty of amazing women politicians.
amazingplentypoliticianswomen
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- Name one. - Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.
namesenator
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- Awful. - How is she awful?
awful
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- Hates freedom. - Uh...
freedomhates
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Okay, Dennis, you are gonna need a campaign manager. That's me.
campaigncampaign-managerdennismanager
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- So... - We should put that one to a vote.
vote
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'Cause I'd be a good campaign manager.
campaigncampaign-managermanager
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It's too late. I already have the clipboard. You can be my assistant.
assistantclipboardlate
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- Mmm. Assistant is... - Should I wear a blazer for this?
assistantblazerwear
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- Yes. - No.