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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (89094)

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- Bless you. - Hold on.
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Did you just say that you left the priesthood?
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Yes! Yes, I had to.
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Matty, wow. You should not have done that.
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- What do you mean? - You gotta...
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You should go and undo that right now.
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- Uh, but you said... - Yeah, I know what I said.
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There were a lot of things, and I meant all of them. I did.
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But the thing is, I didn't know you were actually gonna leave the Church
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which is why I felt safe saying those things in the first place.
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So wait. Wait. So...
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- So you don't love me? - Oh, Matty.
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I think you are a great guy.
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(Mac and Charlie wincing)
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- My life is... My life is ruined. - No.
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- It's... Yes, it's ruined. - No. It's not.
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What about this? Why don't you go back to the priesthood?
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I can't, okay? (stammering) I can't.
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You can't just go back, Dee.
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"Yeah, I wanna become a priest again." You can't. Okay?
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But are you sure? Did you double-check that?
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Oh, my life is ruined. - - Hmm. So...
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I'm the bad person, huh?
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(groans)
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That's what you get for not eating.
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Hey, Cricket! You know what would make you feel better?
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What could possibly make me feel better?
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MAC: You wanna tea-bag Dennis?
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- I'll get the camera! - Yeah!
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- Polaroid, Polaroid, Polaroid. - Whoo!
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FRANK (laughing): These things are hilarious.
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CHARLIE: These are priceless. These are priceless.
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DEE: What are you guys looking at? Uh, Garbage Pail Kids.
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FRANK: Heavin' Steven. Classic.
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Totally classic. I love Heavin' Steven.
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Are those those stupid cards
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where babies are doing disgusting things?
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They're the amazing cards where babies are doing hysterical things.
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You got quite a collection there, buddy.
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Yes, I do.
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Hey, Charlie, how about givin' me a couple of these?
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Uh, no.
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I tell you what. I'll buy 'em from you. You got a ton of 'em.
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No, no. These are, like, an investment.
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This is my future here, okay. So don't mess with them.
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Hey, have you guys seen this?
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We are getting blasted in the ass by the state liquor tax.
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"Blasted in the ass."