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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (89094)

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5e53946c-0c21-4f9e-b34a-a4c8cdee7f22.gif
No! Uh, wait a second. We just wanna have a few words with you.
secondwords
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3ad03978-21cc-42bd-a26f-0c2b44af71cd.gif
We found a stain in our bar that resembles the Virgin Mary.
foundmarystainvirginvirgin-mary
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- Cats are brown now. - What?
browncats
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- The cats are brown. - What is he talking about?
browncats
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46332d7a-cfaa-46b9-98d0-709093b405d1.gif
This guy's perfect. Let's go clean him up.
cleanperfect
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(humming) #I got the Lord I got the Lord
humminglord
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#I got the good Lord He's goin' down on me
goinlord
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- #Down on me... I got the Lord - What are you doing?
lord
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#I got the good Lord Is goin' down on me#
goinlord
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The Lord is going down on you? What's that suppose to mean?
lordsuppose
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b9ab9554-36be-49ca-8b61-c55fb34c9588.gif
- Why are you dress like this? - Come on. It's perfect.
dressperfect
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- Where did you get it? - I have my sources.
sources
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Charlie, I told you to dress nice.
charliedress
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We look like salt and pepper shakers.
peppersalt
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- Ah, we look good. - All right. Let's just get started.
started
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- Uum... - Mmm. (clicks tongue)
clicksclicks-tonguetongue
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Ah. Uh, excuse me, sir.
excuse
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- Hello. Would you like a blessing? - From who?
blessing
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Well, it was to me that the Virgin Mary first appeared.
appearedmaryvirginvirgin-mary
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ceed93e8-6f1b-4665-a10e-e9f0034a1e43.gif
- I found it. - What?
found
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Well, I'm just saying I was the one who found it.
found
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Yes, but I was the one who first recognized it was the Virgin Mary.
maryrecognizedvirginvirgin-mary
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- I found it, if you want the truth. - You thought it was a stain.
foundstaintruth
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- I'd prefer a blessing from him. - Why?
blessingprefer
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He seems a lot more religious than you.
religiousseems
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Okay, but he is my number two and doesn't really do the same...
number
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Well, maybe I could just throw you one of...
throw
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Don't do it. (humming) Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it! (sighs)
charliehummingsighs
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- Ha! - Thanks a lot. I appreciate it.
appreciatethanks
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Okay, feel better. You're looking better already to me.
looking
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You are completely betraying me.
completely
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What are you doing? You're supposed to be my Peter.
petersupposed
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You know what, dude? Hear me out for a second.
second
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513bd300-2dc9-4ae4-b15e-a5dc9711be1f.gif
Now, technically, that stain did appear to me.
appearstaintechnically
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d9280db7-61e4-4802-9a75-ab76eb26005b.gif
Also, I am familiar with carpentry and I don't know who my father is,
carpentryfamiliarfather
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so am I the messiah?
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a480cb7c-1eaf-4d03-ba28-e8130843c7e9.gif
I don't know. Could be. I'm not ruling it out.
ruling
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- The messiah? - I'm just not ruling it out is all.
ruling
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You gotta be kidding me, dude.
kidding
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Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
lordmysteriouswaysworks
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I knew you were gonna ruin this. God damn it.
ruin
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Ooh. I really wish you wouldn't take my name in vain.
namevainwish
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(humming)
humming
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#I got the good Lord All up inside of me#
lord
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How are we gonna get this guy to bless anything? He's out of mind.
blessmind
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Well, I'm hoping it's mostly the booze talking.
boozehopingmostly
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Let's find some coffee. We can sober him up.
coffeesober
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- Did you hear me? - Hmm?