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🎲 Surprise Me

Results (89094)

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Are you the young man to whom the Holy Mother first appear?
appearholymotheryoung
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- Yeah. - Could you bless me, please?
bless
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Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.
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- In the name of the Father... - Right hand.
fatherhandname
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... the son, Holy Spirit. Amen. - Gracias.
amengraciasholyholy-spiritspirit
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You're welcome.
welcome
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Did you see that, dude? (chuckles)
chuckles
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I just blessed that woman.
blessedwoman
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I may have saved that poor, wretched old person's life.
lifepersonspoorsavedwretched
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Well, I don't know about that, but, uh...
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This could be my calling, Charlie.
callingcharlie
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What happened to "God's wrath" business, and "this has to end..."
businessgodshappenedwrath
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Yeah, no, don't worry about that, dude.
worry
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I think this could actually be a good thing.
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- We could change the world. - Okay, okay. All right.
changeworld
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New plan, all right? Let's go around, let's bless people.
blessplan
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Well, actually, I should bless people though,
bless
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but you could be my right-hand man. You could be my Peter.
handpeter
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Oh. Okay, I'll be your Peter.
peter
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Dress a little nicer though, 'cause you look like shit. (door opens)
doordoor-opensdressniceropens
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(door closes) Hey. How'd it go with the priest?
closesdoordoor-closeshowdpriest
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- Not gonna happen. - Did you put the moves on him?
happenmoves
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First, gross. I don't think you're supposed to whore out your kids.
grosskidssupposedwhore
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Second of all, that guy is a really good person, you know,
personsecond
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and I've treated him like shit his whole life.
lifetreatedwholewhole-life
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For once I'm gonna do the right thing.
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- He thinks you're too old, huh? - Goddamn it.
goddamngoddamn-itthinks
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- Why do I speak to you, ever? - Hello.
speak
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Oh, wow.
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What is wrong with you?
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Oh, well, I've been fasting for three days, so I probably look good.
daysfastingthreethree-days
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You haven't eaten anything for three days?
dayseatenthreethree-days
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- And I feel great. - Why the hell are you fasting?
fasting
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I thought I would get in the spirit
spirit
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of the religious aspect of what we got going.
aspectreligious
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It's 'cause we said his face looks fat.
face
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It is not. People have been fasting for thousands of years...
fastingthousandsyears
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... for health and religious purposes.
healthpurposesreligious
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- Moses... - Fat face.
facemoses
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Jesus and Moses in the woods and in the desert...
desertjesusmoseswoods
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- Please listen to me. Please. - Forget it.
forget
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Yeah. All right? The priest thinks Dee's old for him.
deespriestthinks
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We gotta go to plan B. I know another guy who could help us.
anotherplan
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(knocking)
knocking
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Father O'Grady? Uh...
father
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I'm Frank Reynolds. I was in your parish.
frankfrank-reynoldsreynolds
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What do you want?
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We came to talk to you about a stain.
stain