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🎲 Surprise Me

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078d03e4-88de-40be-bc7d-c575f58e4174.gif
So what?
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da9e9f12-2655-4f76-be76-5f3ad67dab9b.gif
You were supposed to present her with Teacher of the Year,
presentsupposedteacher
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but you bailed while she was pulling her panties back on.
bailedpantiespulling
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Yeah, because she laughed at me.
laughed
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Bullshit. She just put her hands on your chest.
bullshitchesthands
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You never even unzipped your suit.
suitunzipped
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She would've laughed.
laughedwouldve
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Because that's what you do. You imagine women will laugh at us,
imaginelaughwomen
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so you humiliate them first.
humiliate
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No, that's not true.
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You can't accept your own body, so you violate theirs.
acceptbodyviolate
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Sh...
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Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
fuck
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Hey, hey. Hey.
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- Let me out! - You can't swim from us forever.
foreverswim
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You shut the fuck up, you ugly pieces of shit.
fuckpiecesugly
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I have nothing else to say to you.
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We won't let you shut us up anymore, Kevin.
anymorekevin
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Hey, hey. Hey. Let me out, man. Just let me out! Eagle!
eagle
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Let me out, man!
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Ride it, brother.
brotherride
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What are you doing here?
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Apparently, your work...
apparently
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still has Maggie Shaw as your emergency contact.
contactemergencyemergency-contact
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Ah, shit. Sorry.
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That's okay.
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Where else would I score this sweet jelly?
jellyscoresweet
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I thought it was bad unagi.
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Turns out my appendix was about to burst.
appendixburstturns
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Well, there are easier ways to get my attention.
attentioneasierways
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I kept thinking you'd call.
thinking
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Yeah. Me too.
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You want me to call your mom?
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Definitely not.
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Someone else, like a girlfriend or...?
girlfriend
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Seriously? Thanks for coming, but I'm sure you have more important places to be.
comingplacesthanks
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Hey. You could die from something like this.
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But I didn't. So I guess you don't need to save me.
save
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Yeah, well, I still wanna see the doctor.
doctor
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Maeve, I'm fine. I promise.
maevepromise
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You know, watching Botched doesn't make you a fucking medical expert.
botchedexpertfuckingmedicalwatching
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I'll wait a while. Let's just see, okay?
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Can we get this middle chair out of here, please? Somebody? Thank you.
chairmiddlesomebody
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Can we get the two on the side just smushed together?
side
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We lost one of them.
lost
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Okay, resetting, one background.
background
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- People, quiet on the set. - Rolling.
quietrolling
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Stormfront, congrats on The Seven. Are you as excited to be here as I am?
congratsexcitedsevenstormfront