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Joe this is a flyer for your one-man show.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#69

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"Joe-comotive. The laughs have left the station."

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#70

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Wow, and only five bucks a tick?

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#71

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I should investigate this next, 'cause that is a steal.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#72

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Anyway, the collar's programmed to give you a severe shock

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#73

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if you raise your voice above a certain decibel.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#74

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You're wastin' your time.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#75

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That's a military-grade collar, a little trickle down from Gitmo.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#76

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And don't bother trying to cut it off, you won't be able to.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#77

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It's Kevlar.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#78

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Same stuff Republicans want our kids to wear to school.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#79

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"Joe-comotive," all that and more, Friday afternoon at the VFW parking lot.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#80

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Chris, your mother asked me to get you involved in a sport

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#81

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to help bring your blood pressure down.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#82

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Now, you have what we're no longer allowed to call "imbecile strength,"

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#83

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so the first sport we're going to try is the shot put.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#84

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Just take this cannonball thingy, spin around like a maniac a few times,

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#85

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- and, uh, heave it as far as you can. - Seems easy enough.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#86

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[grunts]

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#87

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Oh, no, your car!

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#88

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Ha! Who's the pathetic loser for not having a windshield now,

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#89

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teens outside 7-Eleven?

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#90

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The student you're matched up against today is Chris Griffin.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#91

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He's not much of an athlete, so go easy on him.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#92

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I wonder where he is, anyway.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#93

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By God, it's the Griffinator from the top rope!

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#94

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- [exclaims] - [grunts]

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#95

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As a husky kid on the spectrum,

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#96

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this is the only kind of wrestling I'm into.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#97

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You don't have to explain yourself to me, Chris.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#98

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As an adult whose bath mat is newspapers, I'm pretty into it, too.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#99

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Thanks for trying to help, Principal Shepherd,

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#100

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but I'm just not good at anything.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#101

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And all that stuff about carbo-loading is BS, by the way.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#102

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I ate a whole pan of the milky mac n' cheese at lunch

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#103

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and it didn't help one bit.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#104

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- [stomach growls] - Uh-oh. Oh, I think the carbs just loaded.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#105

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Where's the bathroom?

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#106

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Uh, the closest one is all the way across the field.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#107

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It's okay, this isn't my first poop-trot rodeo.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#108

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I can clench and hustle.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#109

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Chris is using hips to generate speed without dilating his anus.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#110

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It's the perfect race-walking form!

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#111

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Oh, no, the door is locked!

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#112

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And wow! Just wow.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#113

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A natural speed walker with form unlike any I've ever seen.

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#114

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What the hell happened to us, Don?

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#115

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Eight years ago, we were calling Major League Baseball,

Family Guy
S23E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
#116

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