🎲 Surprise Me

Results (63910)

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I'm a 37-year-old janitor.
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How do you think it's going?
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There is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
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Really? Thank you, you've turned my life around.
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I'll go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids
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that life is worth living.
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And that comes straight from our hero,
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Dr. Whozits, Dr. Nothing.
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No, seriously, come on.
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Come over to my humble house
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and point out things that are cheap.
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That dog is creepy.
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Aww, be nice to Rowdy.
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The guy we bought him from kept him in a box full of old hats.
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Why is she here all the time?
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- Just give her a chance, man. - Oh! You want to hit that.
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- No! - Yeah!
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- No, she's just a friend, man. - Yeah.
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It's healthy, hanging out with a girl
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without the ultimate goal being sex.
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- You know? - I'm not following.
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Creepy. I had a run-in with that nurse, Carla.
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She forgot to check the stats on a patient and gave me attitude.
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Did you tell on her, or something?
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- Who's responsible for this? - She is.
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I don't remember.
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Why do you assume it was my fault?
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She can't really seem to stop.
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Just because I occasionally say something stupid doesn't mean
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I go door-to-door annoying people,
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like some crazed Jehovah's Witness.
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- Oh, you're not? - No.
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My mother is.
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He's black, too. You should tease him about that.
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Like Carla, for instance.
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Hey, Bambi, that blond stick you hang out with?
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[speaks Spanish]
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You might have to write that down for me.
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I'm kind of like his protégé.
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- I need to see his chart... - Done, copied and highlighted.
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Unfortunately, Radar, I'm fresh out of gold stars.
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Multilobar pneumonia.
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How much does he smoke?
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I don't know.