🎲 Surprise Me

Results (13329)

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So, are you gonna give them what they want?
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Or are you gonna go out there and disappoint them?
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I only know one way.
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[announcer] And now, to throw out our ceremonial first pitch,
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please welcome to the field,
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Peter "Never Heard of Taylor Swift" Griffin.
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Good luck, see you in the showers.
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Individual stalls with smoked-glass doors?
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Nope. Big, echoey, 1960s johnson-danglers.
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- Strike! Damn it. - [crowd groans]
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I can't believe it. I threw a passable strike.
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You're the only one who believed in me, Meg.
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Your arm is backwards and feels very hot.
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I guess you don't throw like a girl anymore.
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That's exactly what I throw like.
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Time for a victory lap.
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♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
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♪ La-la-la-la ♪
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Is that how he really runs?
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I'll, uh, we'll... we'll work on that.
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[♪ Feel-good rock music playing, John Mellencamp "Small Town"]
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[Peter] A lot of people remembered my pitch that day.
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I'll remember it as the last day
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it was called "Quahog Stadium."
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The next day, they changed the name to "Porn Hub Field."
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Called the team the "Jacks."
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People say America's changed,
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but I still think it's pretty great.
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♪ Well, I was born in a small town... ♪
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[♪ organ playing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"]
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Where do you think you're going, Griffin?
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No one leaves without hitting the showers first.
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Can I wear my gym shorts?
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No. We gotta see it.
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♪ It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are those Good old-fashioned values ♪
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[all] ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who Positively can do ♪