🎲 Surprise Me

Results (84882)

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Charlie was lying the whole time. He doesn't have cancer.
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How could you not tell me that you paid her to have sex with me?
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I don't understand how you could possibly be so...
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You can't lie about having cancer! It's not something you do!
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- We thought you were dying! - Guys, guys, guys, listen!
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You're never gonna believe what happened!
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I accidentally punched that tranny in the face, you know?
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These two guys started chasing me. Dee, get me a beer.
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It was unbelievable. I ran all the way here. Go.
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Well, it's funny. It's a, uh, it's a funny, funny thing.
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It's funny. Uh, we paid you $250 to sleep with Charlie and...
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And you never actually had sex with him.
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So we were wondering if we could get the 250 bucks back.
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If you could toss that back our way, that'd be great.
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She's probably gettin' the money though, right?
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MAC: You're such a dildo, dude. DENNIS: Thanks, dude.
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That's a good way to start the day.
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Is that soy veggie health drink
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supposed to erase the damage you did to your liver last night?
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Is that coffee gonna help you forget that elephant you slept with?
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Come on. You don't have to be so judgmental.
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- She was gross, dude. - She wasn't that gross.
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Maybe if you lowered your standards a bit, you'd get laid more.
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You do not get to taste my delicious healthy drink
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after making fun of it. - Why not? Just give it to me.
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'Cause I don't know what kind of diseases that girl had.
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She doesn't have any diseases!
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- Dude, she was really gross. DEE: Guys!
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- We got a real serious problem. - There's been a B&E, dude.
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- A B&E? - What does that mean?
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Somebody broke into the bar and stole our safe.
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- Breaking and entering. B&E. - What? No...
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- When did this happen? - Last night, I guess.
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We just walked in this morning and found it like that.
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- Who locked up last night? - I did. The locks weren't broken.
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So somebody just waltzed in here and stole the safe?
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- Yeah, but it's not my fault. - How is it not your fault?
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- Well, it's somebody's fault. DEE: I know it's somebody's fault!