🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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- ...just because you do something dumb doesn't mean...
A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#529
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- "Drip, slurp, yum.
A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#530
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Give me that sweet wet sugar mess."
A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#531
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Well hello, Linda.
A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#532
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.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#1
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- Mm, he's, uh--
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#2
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he's on his way, I just texted him, so--
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#3
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- Nope.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#4
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Nope.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#5
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- All right, everybody. Start to shut up.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#6
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Ralph, what brings you here?
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#7
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- You're late. I'm--I'm covering for you.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#8
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It's school policy. You can't leave
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#9
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these students unattended.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#10
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That's nuts.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#11
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- He literally leaves us alone all the time.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#12
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- Just--just try to be on time.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#13
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- All right, yeah. Totally.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#14
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Come on, dude.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#15
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Is it--ah! Just gonna get some, uh
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#16
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both: Hey!
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#17
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- Uh, I need SunChips. - We just discussed this.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#18
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You--you can't just leave because you want chips.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#19
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- Ah, come on.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#20
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*
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#21
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So I had an interesting morning.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#22
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As I was pulling out of my dead mom's driveway,
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#23
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I turned on my number one NPR voice crush, Terry Gross,
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#24
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only to find that she was interviewing my rival, Miles.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#25
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I was so distracted by this injustice
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#26
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that I accidentally backed over a possum.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#27
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Specifically, his lower half.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#28
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He was flat from about here down.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#29
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And he was shouting, uh, a lot.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#30
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And this presented me with an interesting
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#31
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philosophical dilemma.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#32
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Was it kinder to let this animal slowly die
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#33
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or to bash it to death with a big wrench?
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#34
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And once I'd done so, I turned and saw
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#35
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that one of the possum's relatives
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#36
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was staring right at me.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#37
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He witnessed the entire thing.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#38
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This presented me with another beautiful
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#39
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philosophical dilemma.
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#40
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Was it kinder to let this new possum be driven mad
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#41
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by what he'd seen, or do I bash him to death
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#42
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with a giant wrench as well?
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#43
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Needless to say, my morning became
A P Bio
S01E02 — Teacher Jail
#44
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