Home » A P Bio » S01E01 — Catfish

A P Bio

Season 1, Episode 1 — Catfish

.

#1

⇓

- Hey, watch out!

#2

⇓

Are you crazy? You almost killed me!

#3

⇓

- Yeah, so sorry to scare you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

#4

⇓

Where you going?

#5

⇓

I thought you wanted to talk.

#6

⇓

Huh, you were talking before, man.

#7

⇓

What happened?

#8

⇓

- All right, everybody, let's go ahead

#9

⇓

and start to shut up now.

#10

⇓

Let's go ahead and start to settle into your seats

#11

⇓

and begin shutting your mouths.

#12

⇓

All rights, so my name--

#13

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My name's Jack Griffin.

#14

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And I don't wanna be here.

#15

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I am an award-winning philosophy scholar,

#16

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who for reasons I won't go in to

#17

⇓

finds himself with a free year.

#18

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So I'm living in my dead mom's apartment here in Toledo

#19

⇓

while killing a little bit of time teaching...

#20

⇓

Advanced Placement Biology.

#21

⇓

But here's the deal, I do not care about biology.

#22

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We're not gonna do any biology in here.

#23

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And to be perfectly clear,

#24

⇓

this won't be one of those things

#25

⇓

where over the course of a year

#26

⇓

I secretly teach it to you.

#27

⇓

This also won't be one of those things

#28

⇓

where I end up learning more from you

#29

⇓

than you do from me.

#30

⇓

I know more than all of you combined,

#31

⇓

so, ha, that doesn't make any sense.

#32

⇓

I'm gonna spend the majority of my time

#33

⇓

mentally breaking my nemesis

#34

⇓

with the ultimate goal of taking his job

#35

⇓

as the head of Stanford Philosophy

#36

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and then I'm gonna have sex with as many women

#37

⇓

as I possibly can throughout the entire state of California.

#38

⇓

But you don't need to concern yourselves with that.

#39

⇓

Uh, let's see.

#40

⇓

Feel like I might be forgetting something.

#41

⇓

"Mentally breaking my nemesis,

#42

⇓

sex with every woman in California."

#43

⇓

No, that was it.

#44

⇓

Welcome to AP Bio.

#45

⇓

[Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"]

#46

⇓

- One, two, three, four!

#47

⇓

- * Next time I'll listen to my heart *

#48

⇓

* Next time well I'll be smart *

#49

⇓

*

#50

⇓

- Absolute garbage.

#51

⇓

Put 'em down.

#52

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Look, I realize you guys are all nerds

#53

⇓

and you want good GPAs, all right?

#54

⇓

Is that what's going on here?

#55

⇓

I'll make you a deal.

#56

⇓

If you tell anybody I'm not teaching you biology,

#57

⇓

you get an F.

#58

⇓

If you keep your mouth shut, you get an A-plus.

#59

⇓

Look at it this way.

#60

⇓

You guys are all tired teens.

#61

⇓

This is gonna be your opportunity to take a nap.

#62

⇓

And if you're not tired,

#63

⇓

pop an Advil PM,

#64

⇓

and you will be out, trust me.

#65

⇓

What are you doing? Come on, put your hand down.

#66

⇓

I'm serious.

#67

⇓

You're months away from being an adult,

#68

⇓

and you need to start acting like one.

#69

⇓

Just talk.

#70

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- My name is Sarika Sarkar,

#71

⇓

and I speak on behalf of the entire student body

#72

⇓

when I express our extreme displeasure

#73

⇓

in you not teaching us biology.

#74

⇓

- I'm sorry, could you say it again?

#75

⇓

- I believe I speak on behalf--

#76

⇓

- No, no, not that junk.

#77

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Your name.

#78

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- Oh, Sarika Sarkar.

#79

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- That's a great name.

#80

⇓

I love the philosopher Prabhat Sarkar.

#81

⇓

The entire universe exists within the cosmic mind.

#82

⇓

What are you guys doing? Don't write that down.

#83

⇓

That's not me teaching you stuff.

#84

⇓

Who's this prince of darkness?

#85

⇓

This your book?

#86

⇓

So?

#87

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I think you're in trouble.

#88

⇓

- Could we, uh--

#89

⇓

could I talk to you out here for a second?

#90

⇓

- Uh-huh.

#91

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*

#92

⇓

Could I get a new chair?

#93

⇓

- A new cha--well, I don't know if that's in our budget.

#94

⇓

- It's fine, forget it. - Okay.

#95

⇓

- Forget it. What's up?

#96

⇓

Um...

#97

⇓

Is it laundry day or...

#98

⇓

- What's that supposed to mean, man?

#99

⇓

- I probably forgot to tell you,

#100

⇓

we sort of have a bit of a dress code here, so...

#101

⇓

- Hey, look, Ralph, I want to wear sweatpants.

#102

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You want to say that your school's got

#103

⇓

a former Harvard professor teaching at it, right?

#104

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Looks good for your school, right?

#105

⇓

- Okay, please, I wasn't trying to be aggressive here.

#106

⇓

- Right, but what you said to me right now, it sucked.

#107

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- Okay. - You know, the worst part is

#108

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I was starting to like you, man.

#109

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You know, like in a buds who get drinks once a week

#110

⇓

kind of a way.

#111

⇓

- Well, that's--that's us.

#112

⇓

We could still do that. - I don't know.

#113

⇓

- I--you know what, I think you're just

#114

⇓

blowing this thing out of proportion.

#115

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Because I'm a laidback principal.

#116

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You know, they make me wear this suit.

#117

⇓

I don't want to dress this sharp every day,

#118

⇓

but I have to 'cause I'm an authority figure,

#119

⇓

but I'm still laidback, and you're gonna see that.

#120

⇓

- You know what,

#121

⇓

let's forget the whole thing.

#122

⇓

Come here. - All right, I--I--

#123

⇓

- Come here.

#124

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That's my guy.

#125

⇓

- Do you still wanna get that beer tonight or--

#126

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- No. No, no, no.

#127

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See, I'm trying to make a plan to bang my high school ex

#128

⇓

as hard as I can, you know what I'm saying?

#129

⇓

- Let's use our hallway voice when we talk about that.

#130

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- Yes, I'm trying to set that up.

#131

⇓

- All right. Okay.

#132

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All right.

#133

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You wrecked the sign.

#134

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That's why I came here to--

#135

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It's too late, Ralph, It's too late.

#136

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Uh, let's see a hall pass.

#137

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You were holding it, okay.

#138

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- * I am a pilgrim

#139

⇓

* And a stranger

#140

⇓

* Travelling through

#141

⇓

* I am a pilgrim

#142

⇓

* And a stranger

#143

⇓

* Travelling through

#144

⇓

* This weary land

#145

⇓

- Hello.

#146

⇓

- Miles, it's Jack.

#147

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- Jack, greetings from California.

#148

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- Yeah, I heard you got the Stanford job.

#149

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Also, congrats on the new book making the bestseller list.

#150

⇓

I'm sure you'll keep killing everything,

#151

⇓

barring some sort of mental collapse.

#152

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Hey, look, I think forcing you out of Harvard

#153

⇓

was an overreaction.

#154

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I'm sure there's tons of schools dying to snag you.

#155

⇓

- Yeah, no, big time.

#156

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Yeah, I'm just kind of weighing all my options.

#157

⇓

Look, Miles, I gotta run.

#158

⇓

- Okay. All right, mate.

#159

⇓

Hey, listen, next time you're out west, okay?

#160

⇓

Jack?

#161

⇓

- Didn't drop at all.

#162

⇓

- * Well I got a home in

#163

⇓

* That yonder city

#164

⇓

* My lord

#165

⇓

* And it's not

#166

⇓

* Good lordy well it's not

#167

⇓

.

#168

⇓

- Yo, that's a nice backpack, freak.

#169

⇓

Give me your backpack, psycho.

#170

⇓

Hey, did you hear me?

#171

⇓

You deaf or something? Give me your back--

#172

⇓

Where you going?

#173

⇓

Where you going? Come here.

#174

⇓

*

#175

⇓

So then my date shows up to my house

#176

⇓

in a soaking wet T-shirt,

#177

⇓

talking about something he just got out of the bath.

#178

⇓

- Now what kinda grown baby man still takes baths?

#179

⇓

- See, that's what I said. It's like, who is this?

#180

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- My husband takes baths.

#181

⇓

- Yeah. - Okay.

#182

⇓

Okay, so anyway, the date was at a full medium,

#183

⇓

and he has the nerve to text me, like, ten minutes ago,

#184

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talking about some, "Do a butt pic."

#185

⇓

- Okay, he sounds like a jerk.

#186

⇓

But do you want us to take a pic of your butt?

#187

⇓

- No, no, no, no, 'cause see, this is how I do it.

#188

⇓

Okay, so now the dumb ones don't know

#189

⇓

that this is an arm butt.

#190

⇓

- Hmm. - So then I take this.

#191

⇓

And I just go ahead and just line that up.

#192

⇓

Let that focus a little bit.

#193

⇓

There we go. Little juicy cheeks.

#194

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- That looks like a crack. - Juicy, okay.

#195

⇓

- See the new guy knows what's up.

#196

⇓

From Harvard?

#197

⇓

- Yeah.

#198

⇓

- Ooh, Harvard Jack.

#199

⇓

All right, well, have you been out on any dates lately?

#200

⇓

- Funny you should ask, I've actually got firm plans

#201

⇓

to bang my high school ex as hard as I can tonight, so...

#202

⇓

- Oh, he's gonna bang her as hard as he can tonight.

#203

⇓

Not regular hard. Aggressively hard.

#204

⇓

- So it seems like you're enjoying yourself here?

#205

⇓

- God no. I'm teaching high school in Toledo.

#206

⇓

It's terrible.

#207

⇓

- Anyways, guess what I'm making the kids do

#208

⇓

in my class today. both: What?

#209

⇓

- They have to draw a flattering picture of me

#210

⇓

and then give it to their dads.

#211

⇓

- Ooh, yes, you know what I tell my kids.

#212

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Okay, 'cause you know how we're learning

#213

⇓

about recycling, right? - Mm-hmm.

#214

⇓

- I just made them clean the trash

#215

⇓

out the backseat of my car.

#216

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Snatch that plastic and recycle it.

#217

⇓

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

#218

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Are you saying we can make the kids do whatever we want?

#219

⇓

- Mm-hmm. both: Yeah.

#220

⇓

- This better work. - Always does.

#221

⇓

- All right, everybody,

#222

⇓

go ahead and start to shut your mouths.

#223

⇓

Settle into your chairs.

#224

⇓

Oh, oh, God!

#225

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This chair sucks.

#226

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Okay, listen up.

#227

⇓

- No, you listen up.

#228

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- * You don't wanna teach us biology *

#229

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- * And we know you used to teach philosophy *

#230

⇓

- * Well we think biology--

#231

⇓

- Whoa, whoa, shut up, shut up, shut up, no, no, no.

#232

⇓

Stop. Turn the music off. Turn it off.

#233

⇓

- * Oh yeah

#234

⇓

- Take your seats. What are you, nuts?

#235

⇓

Don't ever surprise me with a rap.

#236

⇓

Don't ever rap about learning.

#237

⇓

- Oh, boy.

#238

⇓

- Oh, no.

#239

⇓

You had a saxophone solo in your rap?

#240

⇓

Yeah. That's too bad.

#241

⇓

Why don't you come on out of there, big guy.

#242

⇓

Wanna toss that puppy in the trash for me?

#243

⇓

- Yeah. - Good.

#244

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Saxophones do not belong in rap music.

#245

⇓

You were gonna make it rain, huh?

#246

⇓

Wet notebooks part of the rap thing?

#247

⇓

- No.

#248

⇓

- All right.

#249

⇓

Now look, I realize I haven't been

#250

⇓

making the most of your time, but that is gonna

#251

⇓

start to change as of right now.

#252

⇓

As I mentioned, I've been trying to mentally

#253

⇓

break my nemesis, Miles Leonard.

#254

⇓

He currently has the job that is rightfully mine,

#255

⇓

and I want it back.

#256

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He seems to be winning at the moment,

#257

⇓

but by the time we're done with him,

#258

⇓

he's gonna be in a loony bin begging for death.

#259

⇓

- Don't you think you'd have a better chance

#260

⇓

of getting the job if you focused on working hard

#261

⇓

as opposed to trying to make him go crazy?

#262

⇓

- No, you see my actions are justified

#263

⇓

because they produce a better outcome

#264

⇓

than any other action in this particular case.

#265

⇓

It's a basic philosophy,

#266

⇓

act utilitarianism, Jeremy Bentham.

#267

⇓

Stop writing that down.

#268

⇓

Now I happen to know that Miles is currently single.

#269

⇓

So your assignment for today is to catfish him

#270

⇓

on his Facebook page.

#271

⇓

What are you guys waiting for? Catfish!

#272

⇓

Write a flirty Facebook message,

#273

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you know, using a fake name.

#274

⇓

You call yourself, like, Linda,

#275

⇓

and we'll send the best one to Miles.

#276

⇓

All right, look, at this point you guys should all be

#277

⇓

.

#278

⇓

- So if you Google Jack Griffin,

#279

⇓

the first ten results are this video.

#280

⇓

- "Old dude handles slightly less old dude."

#281

⇓

- Whoa.

#282

⇓

Okay, everybody, begin to shut up.

#283

⇓

Let's everyone shut your mouths now

#284

⇓

and settle into your chairs.

#285

⇓

All right, let's hear some of these catfish messages.

#286

⇓

You wanna start? - Please no.

#287

⇓

- All right. Prince of Darkness,

#288

⇓

I see you working on something over there.

#289

⇓

What you got?

#290

⇓

- "Dear Miles, you don't know me but you will.

#291

⇓

"We will marry under the black sun of Satan's breath.

#292

⇓

"I'll be the final face you see

#293

⇓

"as I wrap my hands around your neck

#294

⇓

and suck your soul into my mouth."

#295

⇓

- Wow, somebody alert the authorities.

#296

⇓

You know what I mean?

#297

⇓

No, I'm kidding, I'm joking. It's great, really.

#298

⇓

It's very descriptive.

#299

⇓

You know, maybe just make it a little bit more, uh, female.

#300

⇓

You know? All right, you.

#301

⇓

I want to hear something from you.

#302

⇓

- "Hey, boy, you're--" - Louder.

#303

⇓

- "Hey, boy, you're smooth

#304

⇓

"like butter dripping off of chocolate.

#305

⇓

"Gonna lick you up and down.

#306

⇓

"Drip, slurp, yum.

#307

⇓

Give me that sweet wet sugar mess."

#308

⇓

- Hmm, no. Let's do keep in mind

#309

⇓

that this will be the first message

#310

⇓

that Miles will be hearing from a total stranger,

#311

⇓

but, you know, it's a great start.

#312

⇓

Good.

#313

⇓

- Mr. Griffin. - Oh!

#314

⇓

Ralph, you snuck up on me.

#315

⇓

- Yeah, uh, I put in your request for the new chair,

#316

⇓

and so that's in front of the board now.

#317

⇓

- Okay, great, well, let me know how they vote, all right?

#318

⇓

- Oh, absolutely.

#319

⇓

- Yeah, we're in the middle of it. Take care now.

#320

⇓

Whoa, look at the Prince of D going strong over there.

#321

⇓

Give us another snippet.

#322

⇓

- "And fire and blood will pour from my eyes

#323

⇓

"as I gaze upon your ravaged body.

#324

⇓

By the way, I am a female demon."

#325

⇓

- I see a lot of myself in you. You are going places, Devin.

#326

⇓

You guys are pretty good at this. You having fun?

#327

⇓

all: Yeah.

#328

⇓

"Dear Miles,

#329

⇓

"I want to make you blush, make you feel safe.

#330

⇓

"I want to lay next to you and laugh until we cry.

#331

⇓

"I want to grow old together, and when we're old we'll say,

#332

⇓

'I don't mind because I have you.'"

#333

⇓

- That's what I'm talking about, guys.

#334

⇓

Give it up, give it up.

#335

⇓

All right, let's go home.

#336

⇓

- But we have other classes.

#337

⇓

- All right, whatever.

#338

⇓

So that pretty much catches you up to speed

#339

⇓

on what I've been up to since we broke up.

#340

⇓

- Um, you skipped a part, Jack.

#341

⇓

- Well, I heard that you got passed up for tenure,

#342

⇓

and now no university will touch you.

#343

⇓

I also heard that a very old guy

#344

⇓

got you in some kind of a choke hold.

#345

⇓

That's the juicy part.

#346

⇓

What do you say we go back to your place after this?

#347

⇓

- My boyfriend is finishing

#348

⇓

his rounds in an hour at the hospital,

#349

⇓

and I'm gonna actually meet up with him.

#350

⇓

- You should. Yeah, no, that's, uh--

#351

⇓

Damn it!

#352

⇓

Ugh!

#353

⇓

*

#354

⇓

Oh, damn it!

#355

⇓

God! Agh!

#356

⇓

- Okay, class, um,

#357

⇓

Mr. Griffin is not coming in today.

#358

⇓

According to the note we got,

#359

⇓

he has been put in prison,

#360

⇓

but, quote, not for life.

#361

⇓

Coach Novak.

#362

⇓

- Textbooks out.

#363

⇓

What?

#364

⇓

- Welcome. My name is Sarika Sarkar.

#365

⇓

- Sarika Sarkar.

#366

⇓

Like the philosopher.

#367

⇓

- I'm gonna call you Sarah, all right?

#368

⇓

Can anyone tell me where you're at?

#369

⇓

- We are...

#370

⇓

- Ten pushups.

#371

⇓

- 20. You owe me ten pushups

#372

⇓

for every time you spoke without raising your hand.

#373

⇓

- Okay.

#374

⇓

- What the hell is this puddle?

#375

⇓

Get a mop to dry that up then go to the principal

#376

⇓

and say you need a Saturday detention.

#377

⇓

Okay, bio-logy. You with the glasses, read.

#378

⇓

all: "The cell is the basic structural--"

#379

⇓

- All right, thanks, man. I got it from here.

#380

⇓

Appreciate it.

#381

⇓

- Listen, I've never begun a class

#382

⇓

and not finished it before.

#383

⇓

- Good for you.

#384

⇓

- I go from bell to bell.

#385

⇓

- It's cool, man.

#386

⇓

I got it from here though, seriously.

#387

⇓

Okay, let me catch you guys up.

#388

⇓

So last night I found out my nemesis Miles

#389

⇓

got a MacArthur Genius Grant

#390

⇓

just after my ex turned my down for sex.

#391

⇓

So I got angry, I got very drunk,

#392

⇓

and I went pee-pee on the hospital where she works.

#393

⇓

A police officer suggested that I stop.

#394

⇓

I suggested that he pleasure me sexually.

#395

⇓

He did not.

#396

⇓

Instead, he hurt my arm, and I went to jail.

#397

⇓

So that catches you guys up to speed.

#398

⇓

Why don't we get back to work on destroying Miles' sanity.

#399

⇓

Yeah, hang on.

#400

⇓

Hey, Ralph, Devin.

#401

⇓

You guys hang out?

#402

⇓

- No, Devin got himself arrested earlier.

#403

⇓

They got him on public urination and resisting arrest.

#404

⇓

No way, they literally got me

#405

⇓

for that same thing last night.

#406

⇓

It's quotas.

#407

⇓

- Yeah, turns out Devin went potty

#408

⇓

on the house of a boy who is bullying him.

#409

⇓

- I was literally telling the kids today

#410

⇓

how I did a very similar thing.

#411

⇓

Ah.

#412

⇓

.

#413

⇓

- All right, so this bully kid.

#414

⇓

He's been throwing your backpack in the water

#415

⇓

and stuff like that for how long?

#416

⇓

- Um, maybe a year.

#417

⇓

And you didn't know any of this?

#418

⇓

That doesn't look great for you, bud.

#419

⇓

But you know what,

#420

⇓

I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here,

#421

⇓

and we can definitely move on.

#422

⇓

Ralph, give me one of those big-ass hugs.

#423

⇓

- No, I--no, I don't want to hug right now.

#424

⇓

I think you need to step up and talk to him.

#425

⇓

Any other principal would have fired you and expelled you.

#426

⇓

All right, but I'm laidback, but right now

#427

⇓

you two are making it very hard for me

#428

⇓

to be laidback!

#429

⇓

- Very authoritative, I like that.

#430

⇓

I've not seen that gear from you.

#431

⇓

I like it. - Thank you.

#432

⇓

- Uh, listen, Ralph, can you give Devin and I

#433

⇓

a minute alone? - Yes, yes, of course.

#434

⇓

Oh, I'm going up? - Give it a sec.

#435

⇓

- Okay. I did it.

#436

⇓

All right, so look,

#437

⇓

I haven't done a lot of these talks.

#438

⇓

I don't have kids.

#439

⇓

I've always been pretty good about using condoms, you know?

#440

⇓

Even though I hate the damn things.

#441

⇓

You can't feel as much.

#442

⇓

All right, look, here's the deal.

#443

⇓

I want to be open and honest with you kids in class, okay?

#444

⇓

But if it's gonna start getting us all in trouble,

#445

⇓

then I'm gonna have to start acting

#446

⇓

like all the other teachers.

#447

⇓

See what I'm saying?

#448

⇓

- Yeah. - Yeah.

#449

⇓

So next time you're thinking about, like, imitating me

#450

⇓

or doing anything extreme in general,

#451

⇓

why don't you go ahead and run it by me first, deal?

#452

⇓

- Yeah.

#453

⇓

- Great. - Hey, I'm still up here!

#454

⇓

Ready to come down. This is gonna sound crazy.

#455

⇓

I think I see a raccoon. - No, there's--

#456

⇓

It's not crazy. There's one up there.

#457

⇓

[The Modern Lovers' "Government Center" plays]

#458

⇓

*

#459

⇓

- * Well we've got a lot a lot a lot of hard work today *

#460

⇓

* We gotta rock at the government center *

#461

⇓

- Now I'm wondering if all the times

#462

⇓

my husband sent me pictures of his butt,

#463

⇓

it was really his arm.

#464

⇓

- Wait, your husband sent you butt pics?

#465

⇓

- Yeah.

#466

⇓

- Okay, I don't wanna know. - There's a muscle--

#467

⇓

- Oh, look who it is. - Oh, look you.

#468

⇓

- Big man in a big chair.

#469

⇓

- Yeah, it's a massage chair.

#470

⇓

- Hmm, well, I like it.

#471

⇓

It's like nice, soft, supple leather.

#472

⇓

- Yeah, it's pretty comfy.

#473

⇓

Listen, ladies, I have a little bit of a school issue

#474

⇓

that I could use your help with.

#475

⇓

What do you do when one of the students

#476

⇓

is bullying another one? - Oh, oh, that's easy.

#477

⇓

Okay, so you want to keep them around each other constantly.

#478

⇓

- Oh, yes, that totally works. - Mm-hmm.

#479

⇓

- That's actually how we all became friends.

#480

⇓

'Cause Stef and I would bully Michelle, naturally,

#481

⇓

and then Principal Durbin started forcing us

#482

⇓

to hang out with one another.

#483

⇓

- Mm-hmm, I would take one bite

#484

⇓

out of all of her food in the fridge.

#485

⇓

- And I would sneak a few bites as well.

#486

⇓

- Yes, she did.

#487

⇓

- Then one time I set her purse on fire.

#488

⇓

- Whoo.

#489

⇓

- I lost a lot of cash.

#490

⇓

I lost a hundred bucks.

#491

⇓

- Hmm.

#492

⇓

Well, so--so keep the kids together?

#493

⇓

- Mm-hmm. - Interesting.

#494

⇓

Yeah, it's a little unorthodox,

#495

⇓

but that's actually really smart.

#496

⇓

- Oh, it's actually really smart?

#497

⇓

Wow, thank you for believing in us.

#498

⇓

- Okay, all right, all right.

#499

⇓

Come on, that's not what I meant.

#500

⇓

- We've all read a book, just want to put that out there.

#501

⇓

- Even Michelle. - Yep.

#502

⇓

- That's enough. I gotta get to my class.

#503

⇓

Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

#504

⇓

- You're welcome. Be careful.

#505

⇓

- Gonna give him one more minute.

#506

⇓

He'll be here or else.

#507

⇓

- I don't know.

#508

⇓

- All right, come on. Get in there, you.

#509

⇓

Go, go.

#510

⇓

Hey, everybody. What's up, Ralph?

#511

⇓

This is Dan Decker. I'm adding him to AP Bio.

#512

⇓

- I don't wanna be-- - Shut up!

#513

⇓

Go sit next to Devin, go. You, can you--

#514

⇓

Yeah, thanks. Go, scoot.

#515

⇓

- Does his guidance counselor know about this?

#516

⇓

- You're not the boss of me.

#517

⇓

- That's literally my job description.

#518

⇓

- All right, listen up.

#519

⇓

Some things are gonna change around here big time.

#520

⇓

None of you guys are gonna pick on each other

#521

⇓

or I'll kick your ass.

#522

⇓

I will literally beat you up with my adult muscles.

#523

⇓

And if I go and do something dumb,

#524

⇓

that doesn't mean you can go and do it too.

#525

⇓

Now let me hear you say that back.

#526

⇓

- We can't pick on each other

#527

⇓

or else you'll beat us up with your adult muscles and...

#528

⇓

- ...just because you do something dumb doesn't mean...

#529

⇓

- "Drip, slurp, yum.

#530

⇓

Give me that sweet wet sugar mess."

#531

⇓

Well hello, Linda.

#532

⇓