🎲 Surprise Me

Results (8345)

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You'll have access to all that Mar-a-Lago has to offer.
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I want to make you the new face of Homeland Security.
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But, Mr. President, I thought Kristi Noem
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was the head of Homeland Security.
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Well, she was, but her face freaks me out.
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So what do you say?
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Well, I do need a high-paying job.
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Now, let's take care of that nut for you.
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Meet the new face of Homeland Security.
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Whoa! Oh, my God.
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I just want to go.
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This place is gross.
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Would you like me to apply the baby oil
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to Satan's asshole, boss?
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OK, look, I think there's been a misunderstanding.
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I'm going to take a little break here.
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Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
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Backpack, backpack.
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Oh, God, Dora the Explorer.
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Not right now, sir.
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I've kind of had enough.
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What are you doing here... young man?
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Just trying to make my nut, sir.
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Didn't really want all this.
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Oh, well, young man...
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I kind of know what you're going through, mkay?
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I know we all have a lot of pressures
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and we all want nice things, mkay, but--
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but if you're doing something you don't really believe in
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just to make your nut,
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you're going to find that you just get sadder
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and your nut just gets bigger.
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I guess you're right.
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But... who are you?
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I'm a goddamn counselor.
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That's what I am.
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This place isn't right for either of us.
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There's got to be someone that can help get us out.
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All right. Got him.
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Hey, Kristi, what's going on?