♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →

Home » South Park » S27E02 — Got a Nut

South Park

Season 27, Episode 2 — Got a Nut

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Got a Nut

Air date: August 06, 2025

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell

Kyle and Wendy are fed up with someone spewing hate at South Park Elementary, and surprisingly it's not Cartman. Meanwhile Mr. Mackey gets fired.

Source: TMDB

↓

♪ MTV

↓

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪

goin park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪

goin park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪

headin park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

He's gone too far this time, dude.

gone

↓

The stuff he's saying about Jews is out of control.

control jews stuff

↓

Bro, you just got to ignore him.

ignore

↓

Bro, it's pretty hard to ignore him

hard ignore

↓

when he's saying it all on a podcast.

podcast

↓

He actually said that all women are whores,

whores women

↓

and the only thing we're good at is murdering babies.

babies murdering

↓

Look, guys, just leave it alone.

alone

↓

Don't give him any more attention.

attention

↓

That's easy for you to say, dude.

easy

↓

Yeah, you are one of the multitudes of groups

groups

↓

he's spewing his stupid shit about.

spewing stupid

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

Who are you talking about?

↓

both: Clyde.

clyde

↓

Clyde?

clyde

↓

Yeah, and his stupid debating podcast.

debating podcast stupid

↓

Hey, here he comes.

comes

↓

Whatever, guys.

↓

Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong.

prove

↓

You don't know a thing about the Jewish people.

jewish

↓

Yeah, and shut up about girls' bodies.

bodies girls

↓

Well, that sounds like a very female and Jew thing to say.

female sounds

↓

If you guys don't like it,

↓

why don't you come debate me on my podcast?

debate podcast

↓

We're not indulging your stupid podcast.

podcast stupid

↓

Yeah, screw you, fat ass.

screw

↓

Wha-- what?

↓

Now, as your counselor,

counselor

↓

I want to try and understand why you're doing

↓

all these bad things you're doing.

↓

The other students are very upset at this podcast.

podcast students upset

↓

And what makes you think you got to say

makes

↓

all this stuff, Clyde?

clyde stuff

↓

Hey, I'm just trying to make my nut, man.

↓

Y-your nut?

↓

Yeah, you know, kids have it tough these days.

days kids tough

↓

We got Xbox subscriptions, PS5, Steam subscriptions,

steam xbox

↓

Netflix, HBO, you want to order DoorDash.

netflix order

↓

My nut's about 60 bucks a week.

bucks nuts week

↓

So you know, as a kid, if you could do a podcast,

podcast

↓

say some really divisive shit, then you could make your nut.

↓

Well, Clyde, there's more important things

clyde

↓

than a nut, mkay?

mkay

↓

Like what?

↓

Well, like being nice, mkay,

mkay

↓

making people smile, helping people out.

helping smile

↓

That's why I became a counselor.

became counselor

↓

Yes?

↓

Mr. Mackey, I need you to pack your stuff.

mackey pack stuff

↓

You've been fired, bud.

fired

↓

W-what?

↓

Government's doing away with needless spending in schools.

governments needless schools spending

↓

Get your things. Last paycheck's up front.

front paychecks

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

Hey, wait a minute, PC Principal.

minute principal

↓

Power Christian Principle, yes.

christian power power-christian principle

↓

I've worked here for 26 years.

worked years

↓

We appreciate your service to this school,

appreciate school service

↓

but the government's cutting back on unnecessary expenses.

cutting expenses governments unnecessary

↓

Well, what's more important than a school counselor?

counselor school school-counselor

↓

Schools have one counselor now,

counselor schools

↓

and he is the greatest counselor that ever lived.

counselor greatest lived

↓

Thanks for everything. Now, pack your shit.

pack thanks

↓

But...

↓

what about my nut?

↓

Hello, and welcome

welcome

↓

to the "Clyde Donovan Podcast."

clyde donovan podcast

↓

Welcome to the Channel of Truth, guys.

channel truth welcome

↓

You can't trust Jews,

jews trust

↓

white people are the underprivileged,

underprivileged white

↓

and women belong at home.

belong home women

↓

I'd like to welcome our first guest

guest welcome

↓

to the debate, Eric Cartman.

cartman debate eric eric-cartman

↓

What the hell do you think you're doing, Clyde?

clyde

↓

We're here speaking the truth about the Jews

jews speaking truth

↓

and the underprivileged white class--

class underprivileged white

↓

That's my shtick.

↓

Knock it off, Clyde. You stole my idea.

clyde idea knock stole

↓

I don't know about stealing ideas,

ideas stealing

↓

but I do know about some amazing supplement powders

amazing supplement

↓

that are an absolute steal-- - Supplement powders?

absolute steal supplement

↓

HE-MAN supplement powders can really help you

supplement

↓

bulk up and get-- - Are you fucking serious?

bulk fucking fucking-serious serious

↓

People are sponsoring you for ripping me off?

ripping

↓

And it's really just the best way to get ripped quick.

best quick ripped

↓

So be sure to get some.

↓

And also, be sure to hashtag #RespectClydesAuthority.

hashtag

↓

What?

↓

So after losing my job, I realized

losing realized

↓

I really better get a handle on how much I spend a month.

handle month spend

↓

Yes, Mr. Mackey.

mackey

↓

Looking over your portfolio here,

looking portfolio

↓

it appears you've got about an $8,000 a month nut.

appears month

↓

$8,000 a month?

month

↓

I had no idea my nut was that big.

idea

↓

Now, we could get you a debt consolidation loan,

debt loan

↓

cancel your streaming services,

cancel services streaming

↓

downgrade your phone subscription,

phone

↓

do a second mortgage on your house,

house mortgage second

↓

and your nut's still $8,000--

nuts

↓

a month.

month

↓

But I don't have anything, mkay?

mkay

↓

I can't find a job.

↓

Nobody's hiring counselors anymore.

anymore counselors hiring nobodys

↓

What am I supposed to do?

supposed

↓

Well, there are other career opportunities.

career opportunities

↓

Have you considered...

considered

↓

a job with the I-C-E?

↓

Help your country round up undocumented immigrants.

country immigrants round

↓

ICE?

↓

I'm a counselor.

counselor

↓

I help people.

↓

I would never work for ICE.

↓

I understand you have to have your principles.

principles

↓

It's just they are offering new recruits

offering recruits

↓

about a $100,000 salary.

salary

↓

Say--say what now?

↓

Are you looking for a new career?

career looking

↓

Why not join the I-C-E?

join

↓

We have jobs available now

available jobs

↓

with up to a $50,000 signing bonus.

bonus signing

↓

Signing bonus?

bonus signing

↓

♪ We don't ask for experience ♪

experience

↓

♪ Just show up

↓

♪ We don't care if you've read a book or grown up ♪

book care grown read

↓

♪ If you're crazy or fat and lazy ♪

crazy lazy

↓

♪ We don't care at all ♪

care

↓

I'm proud to work for the I-C-E.

proud

↓

♪ Immigration and Customs Enforcement ♪

enforcement

↓

♪ If you need a job

↓

♪ It's a job

↓

♪ To have

↓

And now, watch as Clyde Donovan totally destroys

clyde donovan watch

↓

these woke liberal students.

liberal students woke

↓

Welcome to the channel, guys.

channel welcome

↓

Looks like a lot of whiny babies have a problem

babies problem whiny

↓

with what I say, so prove me wrong.

prove

↓

Uh, Hey, Clyde.

clyde

↓

Um, you said nothing good ever came from the Jews.

jews

↓

But if that's true, why are bagels so yummy?

yummy

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah!

↓

Well, you've obviously been taught by the Jews

jews obviously taught

↓

to have a problem with this school and with America.

america problem school

↓

So let me ask you this-- what is your definition of a woman?

definition woman

↓

Wait, now, what?

↓

What is a woman? It's a very simple question.

question simple simple-question woman

↓

Well, a woman is a lady friend

friend lady lady-friend woman

↓

who, you know, gives you kisses.

gives kisses

↓

You see, you can't answer the question.

answer question

↓

But something is male or it is female.

female male

↓

Both science and scripture agree to that.

agree science

↓

And that's just the truth. Next.

truth

↓

Another woke student totally destroyed.

another destroyed student woke

↓

Oh, jeez.

jeez

↓

Did you call the girls' soccer team

girls soccer team

↓

a Marxist indoctrination factory?

factory

↓

That is correct.

correct

↓

We actually beat the boys 4 to 0, you know.

beat boys

↓

You can whine about American oppression all you want,

american oppression whine

↓

but you're using an iPhone made by the free market

free market using

↓

to complain about a system that gave it to you.

complain system

↓

Girls have it way easy in America,

america easy girls

↓

and that's just the truth.

truth

↓

Woke student totally pwned.

student woke

↓

Women have it good in America,

america women

↓

just like Black people do.

black

↓

Black people have everything handed to them--

black handed

↓

Motherfucker!

motherfucker

↓

I'm sick of people stealing my schtick.

sick stealing

↓

If anyone around here is gonna be a master debater,

master

↓

it's me.

↓

So let's go.

↓

Who wants to debate the master debater?

debate master wants

↓

Let's go.

↓

You right there.

↓

That's the stupidest haircut I've ever seen.

haircut seen stupidest

↓

You are wrong.

↓

Leviticus 3:17 says it shall be a perpetual statute

statute

↓

for your generations throughout all your dwellings.

generations throughout

↓

So you can shut up, Bebe.

bebe

↓

You just hate America and you love abortions.

abortions america hate love

↓

Mr. Mackey?

mackey

↓

Uh, yes, r-right here.

↓

Have a seat, sir.

seat

↓

What makes you want to work for immigration enforcement?

enforcement makes

↓

Uh, well,

↓

you see, I got a nut.

↓

All right, you're hired.

hired

↓

Take this to the next station

station

↓

for your physical and orientation video.

orientation physical video

↓

Well, th-that's it?

↓

You will now watch an orientation video

orientation video watch

↓

featuring the Director of Homeland Security.

director featuring homeland homeland-security security

↓

Welcome to the team, recruits.

recruits team welcome

↓

I'm Kristi Noem, Head of Homeland Security.

head homeland homeland-security security

↓

Oh, she seems nice, mkay? Very pretty.

mkay seems

↓

A few years ago, I had to put my puppy down

puppy years

↓

by shooting it in the face,

face shooting

↓

because sometimes doing what's important

sometimes

↓

means doing what's hard.

hard

↓

Whoa. Whoa.

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

Now, we'll ask the same determination of you.

↓

Because detaining and questioning people

questioning

↓

is never easy.

easy

↓

Oh, God!

↓

As the face of Homeland Security,

face homeland homeland-security security

↓

I'll be leading the way.

leading

↓

And together, we'll make sure

↓

everyone is in this country legally.

country legally

↓

So let's get out there and get 'em, recruits.

recruits

↓

Together, we can make it happen.

happen

↓

We hope you enjoyed the presentation.

enjoyed hope presentation

↓

Please step through to the vehicles for your first raid.

raid step vehicles

↓

Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle

feet hands vehicle

↓

at all times.

times

↓

Lock and load, recruits!

load lock recruits

↓

Prepare to raid!

prepare raid

↓

Mmm-kay.

↓

Watch as Eric Cartman shuts down

cartman eric eric-cartman shuts watch

↓

these woke liberal students.

liberal students woke

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

What makes you think you have the right

makes

↓

to say what I do with my body?

body

↓

Let me ask you something.

↓

If a pregnant woman is killed and the baby dies too,

baby dies killed pregnant pregnant-woman woman

↓

why is the killer charged with a double homicide?

charged double killer

↓

Well, b--because people have different beliefs.

beliefs

↓

It's not about belief. It's about truth.

belief truth

↓

Science confirms life begins at conception.

begins conception life science

↓

So, yes, Jeremiah 1:5 says, before I formed you

formed

↓

in the womb, I knew you.

womb

↓

But it's just morality that demands

demands morality

↓

we protect the most vulnerable.

protect vulnerable

↓

So let me ask you-- when do you think life begins?

begins life

↓

Eric, are you all right in there?

eric

↓

Yeah, I'm fine, Mom.

↓

I'm just in here master debating.

debating master

↓

Well, Eric, that's enough.

eric

↓

Let's get out of the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

I can't, Mom.

↓

I'm master debating to these young college girls.

college college-girls debating girls master young

↓

That's very naughty, Eric. Stop it.

eric naughty

↓

Mom, I finally got sponsored by a protein powder,

finally powder protein sponsored

↓

so I gotta master debate for a couple more hours.

couple debate hours master

↓

Leviticus 9:1-8. Leave me alone.

alone

↓

All right, recruits. This is it.

recruits

↓

We're heading to a location

heading location

↓

that might be filled with illegals.

filled might

↓

Let's take these bad hombres down.

hombres

↓

Backpack.

backpack

↓

Backpack.

backpack

↓

Backpack. Backpack.

backpack

↓

♪ I'm the map, I'm the map ♪

↓

♪ I'm the map, he's the map ♪

↓

♪ He's the map, I'm the map ♪

↓

Freeze!

freeze

↓

Oh, God. Mkay.

mkay

↓

We're just here for questioning.

questioning

↓

Cooperate, and nothing bad-- holy shit.

holy

↓

Look, I'm really sorry about this.

↓

It's just, I got a monthly nut, you know?

monthly

↓

I gotta make my nut.

↓

You did a good job in there, soldier.

soldier

↓

Mkay. Thank you, Captain.

captain mkay

↓

I know it's tough doing what's hard,

hard tough

↓

but we could use more men like you in the--

↓

Whoa, what the fuck?

fuck whoa

↓

Your Botox, Ms. Noem.

botox

↓

Oh, yeah. Fix me up.

↓

Fix me up.

↓

Another day doing what's tough.

another tough

↓

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

↓

But a body growing inside a woman's body is not her body.

body growing womans

↓

It's a completely separate fetus--

completely fetus separate

↓

Eric, what are you doing?

eric

↓

I'm sorry, mom.

↓

You told me to go to sleep, but I started masterdebating again.

sleep started

↓

This is really getting to be a problem, Eric.

eric problem

↓

Mom, you don't understand.

↓

I'm getting really good at this.

↓

I have my arguments down rock solid.

arguments rock solid

↓

These young college girls are totally unprepared,

college college-girls girls young

↓

so I can just destroy them and also edit out all the ones

destroy edit ones

↓

that actually argue back well.

argue

↓

It just feels so good.

feels

↓

I understand it feels good,

feels

↓

but that doesn't mean you do it all the time.

↓

I'm sorry, Mommy.

mommy

↓

Put the computer away and leave those poor

computer poor

↓

college girls alone.

alone college college-girls girls

↓

OK.

↓

I won't master debate anymore tonight.

anymore debate master tonight

↓

Look, look, you can call it reproductive rights.

rights

↓

But be honest, if a baby could speak,

baby honest speak

↓

it would fight for its right to live.

fight live

↓

Eric Cartman!

cartman eric eric-cartman

↓

I'm sorry, Mom!

↓

Tom, another protest today, as thousands turned out

another protest thousands today turned

↓

in downtown Denver to voice their outrage

denver downtown outrage voice

↓

against the I-C-E.

↓

This is just out of control.

control

↓

A lot of the people being targeted in these raids

↓

are kind, hard-working, deeply faithful people

deeply faithful hard working

↓

who care for their families.

care families

↓

I have no doubt that there are many, many Latinos in heaven.

doubt heaven

↓

Oh, this is bad.

↓

Mkay?

mkay

↓

Remember, only detain the brown ones.

brown ones remember

↓

If it's brown, it goes down.

brown

↓

Jesus, look out!

jesus

↓

There's another one flying over here.

another flying

↓

Catch him! Catch him!

catch

↓

I just need to ask you some questions,

questions

↓

mkay, make sure you're legal.

legal mkay

↓

How did you get into heaven?

heaven

↓

Um, I was really nice to people,

↓

and I helped various charities.

helped various

↓

Look, I'm really sorry about this,

↓

but I'm just trying to make my nut.

↓

Mackey, I need a word.

mackey word

↓

Yes, Captain?

captain

↓

You did another great job out there, Mackey.

another mackey

↓

I like your style.

style

↓

Oh. Thank you.

↓

The President's handing out bonuses

bonuses handing presidents

↓

to recruits that stand out.

recruits stand

↓

And I'm going to recommend you

recommend

↓

for the next set of bonuses that--

bonuses

↓

Ah!

↓

Grab it!

grab

↓

No more brownies in heaven.

brownies heaven

↓

Hello and welcome to the third annual

annual third welcome

↓

Charlie Kirk Award for Young Masterdebaters.

award charlie kirk young

↓

More and more young people today

today young

↓

are learning to fight for America

america fight learning

↓

through masterdebation.

↓

We're here to honor the recent efforts of a brave young man

brave efforts honor recent young

↓

who has been furiously masterdebating

↓

for the past several days and has won himself

days past several several-days

↓

not only this trophy, but also an all expenses paid vacation

expenses paid trophy vacation

↓

to a beautiful five-star resort.

five five-star resort star

↓

He has proven himself the true champion.

champion proven

↓

Please welcome the best young masterdebater

best welcome young

↓

of our time, Clyde Donovan.

clyde donovan

↓

Clyde?

clyde

↓

No! That's my trip to a five-star resort!

five five-star resort star trip

↓

Come on, Eric. Let's go.

eric

↓

Thanks, everyone.

thanks

↓

The Civil Rights Act was a huge mistake.

civil huge huge-mistake mistake rights

↓

And, I don't know, lesbians are an abomination of God.

abomination lesbians

↓

You all stole my schtick!

stole

↓

Clyde!

clyde

↓

OK.

↓

We got some of your pay stubs in.

↓

Let's see how that nut's looking.

looking nuts

↓

Well, seems you got some bonuses

bonuses seems

↓

for rounding up the most Mexicans.

mexicans rounding

↓

Shh.

↓

We don't round up Mexicans, OK?

mexicans round

↓

We just detain foreigners who might be illegal.

foreigners illegal might

↓

OK.

↓

Well, after taxes and with your bonuses,

bonuses taxes

↓

it looks like you've got about $10 grand a month to spend.

grand month spend

↓

- Oh, I do? - Yes.

↓

And your nut's up to about $12 grand a month.

grand month nuts

↓

What?

↓

But my nut was only $8 grand a week ago.

grand week

↓

Right. But you got a good-paying job.

paying

↓

You see, as you make more money,

money

↓

your nut actually gets bigger.

bigger

↓

How is that possible?

possible

↓

It's all right.

↓

If you can just get a few more bonuses,

bonuses

↓

we can refinance the house, divide that

divide house

↓

by the number of Mexicans you detained, and, of course,

course mexicans number

↓

compound any Costa Ricans you might incur to the--

compound costa might

↓

Freeze! Nobody move!

freeze nobody

↓

Here he is over here.

↓

Come on, Mackey. Need to talk to you outside.

mackey

↓

Talk to me? About what?

↓

What's this all about?

↓

Congratulations, recruit.

congratulations recruit

↓

I talked to the president about your accomplishments,

accomplishments president talked

↓

and he says he wants to help you with your nut.

wants

↓

Really? He does?

↓

That's right.

↓

We have orders to get you on a plane.

orders plane

↓

The President wants to thank you personally.

personally president wants

↓

Congratulations.

congratulations

↓

He's invited you to Mar-a-Lago.

invited lago

↓

Mar-a-Lago?

lago

↓

Oh, wow.

↓

Relax! Take a load off!

load relax

↓

Boss, the plane is here

boss plane

↓

from Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

enforcement

↓

I know, stupid. Let's go.

stupid

↓

Hey, buddy.

buddy

↓

Welcome to Mar-a-Lago.

lago welcome

↓

Oh, thank you, Mr. President.

president

↓

What is his fantasy, boss?

boss fantasy

↓

Will you get out of here?

↓

Listen, buddy, I want to offer you

buddy offer

↓

an incredible opportunity.

incredible opportunity

↓

How would you like to make more money

money

↓

than you ever thought possible?

possible

↓

Well, I do have a pretty huge nut.

huge

↓

Now, that's the kind of talk I like.

↓

Mar-a-Lago's for everyone that's got a nut.

↓

I'm giving you a promotion.

giving promotion

↓

You'll have access to all that Mar-a-Lago has to offer.

access lago offer

↓

I want to make you the new face of Homeland Security.

face homeland homeland-security security

↓

But, Mr. President, I thought Kristi Noem

president

↓

was the head of Homeland Security.

head homeland homeland-security security

↓

Well, she was, but her face freaks me out.

face freaks

↓

So what do you say?

↓

Well, I do need a high-paying job.

paying

↓

Excellent.

excellent

↓

Now, let's take care of that nut for you.

care

↓

Hey, Satan.

satan

↓

Meet the new face of Homeland Security.

face homeland homeland-security meet security

↓

Whoa! Oh, my God.

whoa

↓

I just want to go.

↓

This place is gross.

gross place

↓

Would you like me to apply the baby oil

apply baby

↓

to Satan's asshole, boss?

asshole boss satans

↓

OK, look, I think there's been a misunderstanding.

misunderstanding

↓

I'm going to take a little break here.

break

↓

Hey, come on.

↓

Relax, guy.

relax

↓

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

excuse

↓

Backpack, backpack.

backpack

↓

Oh, God, Dora the Explorer.

↓

Excuse me.

excuse

↓

Clyde?

clyde

↓

Not right now, sir.

↓

I've kind of had enough.

↓

What are you doing here... young man?

young

↓

Just trying to make my nut, sir.

↓

Didn't really want all this.

↓

Oh, well, young man...

young

↓

I kind of know what you're going through, mkay?

mkay

↓

I know we all have a lot of pressures

pressures

↓

and we all want nice things, mkay, but--

mkay

↓

but if you're doing something you don't really believe in

believe

↓

just to make your nut,

↓

you're going to find that you just get sadder

sadder

↓

and your nut just gets bigger.

bigger

↓

Mkay?

mkay

↓

Yeah.

↓

I guess you're right.

↓

But... who are you?

↓

I'm a goddamn counselor.

counselor goddamn

↓

That's what I am.

↓

This place isn't right for either of us.

place

↓

There's got to be someone that can help get us out.

↓

All right. Got him.

↓

Hey, Kristi, what's going on?

↓

Trying to replace me

replace

↓

as the face of Homeland Security, huh?

face homeland homeland-security security

↓

Hey, relax, guy.

relax

↓

Who could replace a face like that?

face replace

↓

Think I can't handle myself 'cause I'm a lady

handle lady

↓

with good looks that drive men wild?

drive wild

↓

Come on. We're getting out of here.

↓

You too, come on.

↓

We got it. We got it.

↓

Another job well done.

another

↓

♪ Loo loo loo, loo loo loo loo loo ♪

↓

♪ Loo loo loo, loo loo loo ♪