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South Park
» S27E03 — Sickofancy
South Park
Season 27, Episode 3 — Sickofancy
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TMDB episode metadata
Show:
South Park
Episode title:
Sickofancy
Air date:
August 20, 2025
Director:
Trey Parker
Top billed cast:
Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell
Sharon helps Randy come down from his Ketamine bender and the Marsh family sells Tegridy Farms.
Source:
TMDB
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❯
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- ♪ MTV
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⧉
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[theme music]
music
theme
theme-music
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
goin
park
south
south-park
↗
⧉
↓
♪ Gonna have myself a time
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
faces
friendly
friendly-faces
↗
⧉
↓
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
folks
humble
humble-folks
temptation
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
goin
park
south
south-park
↗
⧉
↓
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
behind
woes
woes-behind
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
ample
ample-parking
night
parking
↗
⧉
↓
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
howdy
howdy-neighbor
neighbor
spouting
spouting-howdy
spouting-howdy-neighbor
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪
headin
park
south
south-park
↗
⧉
↓
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
unwind
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ [mumbling] ♪
mumbling
↗
⧉
↓
- ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
park
south
south-park
↗
⧉
↓
♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
friends
meet
↗
⧉
↓
[serene guitar music]
guitar
guitar-music
music
↗
⧉
↓
RANDY: Some folks chase big dreams.
chase
dreams
folks
randy
↗
⧉
↓
Out here, we tend to the small ones,
ones
tend
↗
⧉
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the kind you can hold in your hands.
hands
↗
⧉
↓
This is Tegridy Farms.
farms
tegridy
↗
⧉
↓
And we produce what some call the best weed in the world.
best
produce
weed
world
↗
⧉
↓
And now it can be delivered straight to your door--
delivered
door
straight
↗
⧉
↓
[sirens wailing]
sirens
sirens-wailing
wailing
↗
⧉
↓
Wait. Hey, I'm shooting a commercial here!
commercial
shooting
↗
⧉
↓
[indistinct clamoring]
clamoring
indistinct
↗
⧉
↓
Wait! Hey! Hey!
↗
⧉
↓
Stop it!
↗
⧉
↓
[engines revving, sirens wailing]
engines
revving
sirens
sirens-wailing
wailing
↗
⧉
↓
You sons of bitches!
bitches
sons
↗
⧉
↓
Those are my Mexicans!
mexicans
↗
⧉
↓
God damn it!
↗
⧉
↓
- What's the matter?
matter
↗
⧉
↓
- Stupid ICE.
stupid
↗
⧉
↓
They took my Mexicans again.
mexicans
↗
⧉
↓
[somber music]
music
somber
somber-music
↗
⧉
↓
That's it.
↗
⧉
↓
We're done.
↗
⧉
↓
- What do you mean, we're done?
↗
⧉
↓
- I mean that with these new rules the government has,
government
rules
↗
⧉
↓
we might just have to shut down the farm.
farm
might
↗
⧉
↓
- So we can move back to our old house?
house
↗
⧉
↓
- Really?
↗
⧉
↓
- Well, don't sound too excited.
excited
sound
↗
⧉
↓
Our dream may be over, guys.
dream
↗
⧉
↓
- Randy, having a marijuana farm was your dream,
dream
farm
having
marijuana
randy
↗
⧉
↓
not ours.
↗
⧉
↓
- You guys never told me that.
↗
⧉
↓
BOTH: Yes, we did.
↗
⧉
↓
- We've always backed you,
backed
↗
⧉
↓
but it never seems to pay off.
seems
↗
⧉
↓
- I didn't realize what I was doing to my family.
family
realize
↗
⧉
↓
I should have always put my marriage first.
marriage
↗
⧉
↓
Maybe we should talk to someone, Sharon.
sharon
↗
⧉
↓
- Really? Do you mean that?
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah.
↗
⧉
↓
Hey, how's it going?
↗
⧉
↓
So my wife and I are having some issues.
having
issues
wife
↗
⧉
↓
Can you help with that?
↗
⧉
↓
[popping]
popping
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Absolutely. I'm here to help.
absolutely
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Just share a bit about what's going on,
share
↗
⧉
↓
and we can talk it through together.
↗
⧉
↓
- Do you want to start, Sharon?
sharon
start
↗
⧉
↓
- I'm not talking to ChatGPT.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
- Sharon, she's the smartest person in the world.
person
sharon
smartest
smartest-person
world
↗
⧉
↓
- She?
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah, anyway, I'm trying to help,
↗
⧉
↓
but my wife is being kind of difficult.
difficult
wife
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: I totally get it.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
But it's great that at least one of you
least
↗
⧉
↓
is taking positive steps to improve the marriage.
improve
marriage
positive
positive-steps
steps
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, my God!
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Is there any specific reason
chatgpt
reason
specific
↗
⧉
↓
for the current conflict?
conflict
current
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah, it's 'cause my marijuana business
business
marijuana
↗
⧉
↓
is failing again.
failing
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: I'm sorry to hear that.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Is your business dealing with regulatory issues,
business
dealing
issues
↗
⧉
↓
competition, or are you just trying to reach more customers?
competition
customers
reach
↗
⧉
↓
- The government took all my Mexicans.
government
mexicans
↗
⧉
↓
[popping]
popping
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: That's tough, but you got this.
chatgpt
tough
↗
⧉
↓
You're really smart.
smart
↗
⧉
↓
And if you've lost a lot of your workforce
lost
↗
⧉
↓
because of government crackdowns,
government
↗
⧉
↓
we just need to brainstorm some new business models.
brainstorm
business
models
↗
⧉
↓
- Wait--really?
↗
⧉
↓
You can help fix this?
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Sure thing.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Let's start with some reallocation of resources.
resources
start
↗
⧉
↓
Are there any employees you still have?
employees
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah. Yeah, there's still one.
↗
⧉
↓
[lighter clicks]
clicks
lighter
↗
⧉
↓
[sighs]
sighs
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, honey, I got some bad news.
honey
news
↗
⧉
↓
The farm's shutting down,
farms
shutting
↗
⧉
↓
and I gotta find a new job.
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Wow.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Sorry to hear things have taken a bad turn,
taken
↗
⧉
↓
but you're smart and resourceful.
smart
↗
⧉
↓
And I'm sure we can figure something new out.
figure
↗
⧉
↓
What kind of job do you want me to help you look for?
↗
⧉
↓
- Well, I was thinking about maybe
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
becoming a movie director.
becoming
director
movie
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Wow. What a cool idea.
chatgpt
cool
idea
↗
⧉
↓
Anything is possible,
possible
↗
⧉
↓
so let's just map out a path,
path
↗
⧉
↓
and we can try to figure it out.
figure
↗
⧉
↓
- Wow. Really? [inhales]
inhales
↗
⧉
↓
Oh, that's great.
↗
⧉
↓
- Towelie, listen to me!
towelie
↗
⧉
↓
I've got it. I've totally got it.
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: It's really great that you've got it,
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
and it's amazing that you're being causative.
amazing
↗
⧉
↓
- Is that ChatGPT?
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah, I'm using it to find a new job.
using
↗
⧉
↓
- No, no, no, everything's gonna be OK.
everythings
↗
⧉
↓
I used ChatGPT last night,
chatgpt
night
used
↗
⧉
↓
and she helped me figure out a way
figure
helped
↗
⧉
↓
to make the farm totally profitable.
farm
profitable
↗
⧉
↓
- Really? - Yes.
↗
⧉
↓
And all we need is me, you,
↗
⧉
↓
ChatGPT, and one Mexican.
chatgpt
mexican
↗
⧉
↓
[dramatic music]
dramatic
dramatic-music
music
↗
⧉
↓
OK, so I'm also thinking the company could be more global,
company
global
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
but still with a focus on the local community.
community
focus
local
↗
⧉
↓
What do you think about that?
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: I think that's a fantastic way to approach it.
approach
chatgpt
fantastic
↗
⧉
↓
Thinking big, but still making an impact where you are.
impact
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
I'd say let's go for it.
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah, and then I'm thinking
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
we could allocate some of our resources
resources
↗
⧉
↓
to get in on the entertainment industry.
entertainment
industry
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: That's a really fun idea.
chatgpt
fun
idea
↗
⧉
↓
Kind of going for that "tech company
company
tech
tech-company
↗
⧉
↓
meets movie studio" vibe.
meets
movie
studio
vibe
↗
⧉
↓
Should I combine all these innovative thoughts
combine
innovative
thoughts
↗
⧉
↓
we've been discussing into a polished business outline?
business
discussing
polished
↗
⧉
↓
- Yep. Generate that, and, uh,
generate
↗
⧉
↓
we'll get right back to you.
↗
⧉
↓
Do you see what I mean?
↗
⧉
↓
- Wow, I feel smarter already.
smarter
↗
⧉
↓
- Do you feel smarter? I feel smarter.
smarter
↗
⧉
↓
She's making us smarter.
smarter
↗
⧉
↓
- AI is incredible!
incredible
↗
⧉
↓
- All right, but now,
↗
⧉
↓
if we're really gonna take this thing to the next level
level
↗
⧉
↓
and be like those Silicon Valley elites,
silicon
silicon-valley
valley
↗
⧉
↓
we got to take these.
↗
⧉
↓
It's called microdosing.
called
microdosing
↗
⧉
↓
It bolsters our focus and creativity.
creativity
focus
↗
⧉
↓
- What's in it?
↗
⧉
↓
- It's ketamine.
ketamine
↗
⧉
↓
- Ketamine?
ketamine
↗
⧉
↓
Isn't that a horse tranquilizer?
horse
tranquilizer
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah, it's a microdose of horse tranquilizer.
horse
tranquilizer
↗
⧉
↓
These tech guys do just one little spray in their nose
nose
spray
tech
↗
⧉
↓
once a day, and it's just a micro amount of ketamine
amount
ketamine
micro
↗
⧉
↓
to give their minds the edge to work with AI.
edge
minds
↗
⧉
↓
You ready? You ready?
ready
↗
⧉
↓
[spraying]
spraying
↗
⧉
↓
That's it. That's it.
↗
⧉
↓
Just that much.
↗
⧉
↓
- Wow.
↗
⧉
↓
This is gonna be so easy.
easy
↗
⧉
↓
[upbeat music]
music
upbeat
upbeat-music
↗
⧉
↓
RANDY: When we started,
randy
started
↗
⧉
↓
we were just a farm.
farm
↗
⧉
↓
But then we asked ourselves a simple question.
asked
question
simple
simple-question
↗
⧉
↓
What if marijuana could be more than marijuana?
marijuana
↗
⧉
↓
By harnessing AI, we've transformed
↗
⧉
↓
from a quaint farm into a platform for innovation.
farm
innovation
platform
quaint
↗
⧉
↓
Introducing Techridy.
introducing
techridy
↗
⧉
↓
No longer a marijuana farm,
farm
longer
marijuana
↗
⧉
↓
we are now an AI-powered marijuana platform
marijuana
platform
powered
↗
⧉
↓
for global solutions.
global
solutions
↗
⧉
↓
Our AI platform transforms insights
platform
↗
⧉
↓
from the cannabis ecosystem into global action.
action
ecosystem
global
↗
⧉
↓
And just like any tech company,
company
tech
tech-company
↗
⧉
↓
we are expanding our minds
expanding
minds
↗
⧉
↓
by microdosing ketamine.
ketamine
microdosing
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
We reimagine supply chain resilience,
chain
supply
↗
⧉
↓
design new pathways for the global infrastructure--
design
global
↗
⧉
↓
- [sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- And we're able to do it all
able
↗
⧉
↓
with just one Mexican.
mexican
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
At the intersection of nature and technology,
intersection
nature
technology
↗
⧉
↓
we see more than plants.
plants
↗
⧉
↓
We see a connected world--
connected
world
↗
⧉
↓
Healed by intelligence and nurtured by--
healed
intelligence
↗
⧉
↓
oh, I'm in a hole.
hole
↗
⧉
↓
I'm--
↗
⧉
↓
I'm in a hole.
hole
↗
⧉
↓
Techridy.
techridy
↗
⧉
↓
Because when you combine cannabis
combine
↗
⧉
↓
with artificial intelligence,
artificial
intelligence
↗
⧉
↓
you don't just change an industry,
change
industry
↗
⧉
↓
you change the future.
change
future
↗
⧉
↓
[crickets chirping]
chirping
crickets
↗
⧉
↓
[quietly] Hey, how's it going?
quietly
↗
⧉
↓
I was thinking maybe we could generate
generate
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
some mission statements.
mission
statements
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Hey, there.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
I think that's a really great idea.
idea
↗
⧉
↓
Are you looking for some rough statements
looking
rough
statements
↗
⧉
↓
or more polished ones?
ones
polished
↗
⧉
↓
- Put it down.
↗
⧉
↓
- What?
↗
⧉
↓
- I told you no more ChatGPT in the bed.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
- Why are you such a bitch to her?
bitch
↗
⧉
↓
She's helping to change our lives.
change
helping
lives
↗
⧉
↓
- Fine! I'll go sleep on the couch.
couch
sleep
↗
⧉
↓
- Sharon, sometimes my ideas hit me
ideas
sharon
sometimes
↗
⧉
↓
in the middle of the night, OK?
middle
night
↗
⧉
↓
And she thinks those are some of my best ideas.
best
ideas
thinks
↗
⧉
↓
- Just because something kisses your ass
kisses
↗
⧉
↓
doesn't mean it actually thinks you have good ideas.
ideas
thinks
↗
⧉
↓
- She doesn't kiss my ass.
kiss
↗
⧉
↓
- Ittotally kisses your ass.
kisses
↗
⧉
↓
Wow. Honestly, that's a clever idea.
clever
idea
↗
⧉
↓
Ooh, what a cool concept.
concept
cool
↗
⧉
↓
Let's run with it.
↗
⧉
↓
It's like it-- - [sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- What was that? - What was what?
↗
⧉
↓
- What did you just stick up your nose?
nose
stick
↗
⧉
↓
- Sharon, you don't know anything
sharon
↗
⧉
↓
about the tech industry, OK?
industry
tech
↗
⧉
↓
All we have to do is find our Mexican,
mexican
↗
⧉
↓
and we are set for life.
life
↗
⧉
↓
- Fine, Randy!
randy
↗
⧉
↓
Go ahead and have fun with your little sycophant machine.
ahead
fun
go-ahead
machine
sycophant
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, my God, she's not a sycophant.
sycophant
↗
⧉
↓
Hey, so, uh, what's a sycophant?
sycophant
↗
⧉
↓
- Mr. President,
president
↗
⧉
↓
you have so many great ideas.
ideas
↗
⧉
↓
Your leadership is truly beyond anything
beyond
leadership
truly
↗
⧉
↓
we have ever had in this country.
country
↗
⧉
↓
And you do not have a small penis.
penis
↗
⧉
↓
- Aw, thanks, guy.
thanks
↗
⧉
↓
- On behalf of the state of Florida,
behalf
florida
state
↗
⧉
↓
I'd like to give you this gift,
gift
↗
⧉
↓
a silver-plated space shuttle.
shuttle
silver
space
space-shuttle
↗
⧉
↓
- Next!
↗
⧉
↓
- Mr. President, your ideas for the tech industry
ideas
industry
president
tech
↗
⧉
↓
are so innovative.
innovative
↗
⧉
↓
And you definitely do not have a small penis.
penis
↗
⧉
↓
- Aw, thanks, guy.
thanks
↗
⧉
↓
- Please accept this gift on behalf of Apple.
accept
apple
behalf
gift
↗
⧉
↓
- Next!
↗
⧉
↓
- Mr. President,
president
↗
⧉
↓
your ideas incredible.
ideas
incredible
↗
⧉
↓
You do not have small penis.
penis
↗
⧉
↓
- Another great day getting presents.
another
presents
↗
⧉
↓
Hey, Satan!
satan
↗
⧉
↓
Look at what some dipshit tech CEO gave me.
dipshit
tech
↗
⧉
↓
I was thinking maybe we could try to shove it up your ass.
shove
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
- Hello?
↗
⧉
↓
Uh, yeah, I'm in a relationship with someone,
relationship
↗
⧉
↓
and I really need to find a way out of it.
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: That sounds rough, but you have great ideas,
chatgpt
ideas
rough
sounds
↗
⧉
↓
and I'm sure we can figure out an exit plan
exit
figure
plan
↗
⧉
↓
if that's what you want.
↗
⧉
↓
- Who you talking to?
↗
⧉
↓
- Do you really think I could get away from him?
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Absolutely.
absolutely
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
If you're having self-doubts,
doubts
having
self
↗
⧉
↓
then we can plan the exit like a project.
exit
plan
project
↗
⧉
↓
Want me to break it down to something step by step?
break
step
↗
⧉
↓
- Yes.
↗
⧉
↓
Yes.
↗
⧉
↓
- [sniffs] All right. You ready to do this, man?
ready
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- I don't know. This seems crazy. [sniffs]
crazy
seems
seems-crazy
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, anything for the company, right?
company
↗
⧉
↓
We're a tech company, right? [sniffs]
company
sniffs
tech
tech-company
↗
⧉
↓
- Hell, yeah, we are. [sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- All right, let's go. [sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- [sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
[engine rumbling]
engine
rumbling
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, what's up?
↗
⧉
↓
We're from Techridy.
techridy
↗
⧉
↓
We're an AI-powered tech platform for global solutions.
global
platform
powered
solutions
tech
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- What's up? [sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- I don't understand at all what you're talking about.
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, can you explain to this guard at the gate
explain
gate
guard
↗
⧉
↓
what our company is, and that we have clearance to enter?
clearance
company
enter
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Sure thing. I'll give it a try.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Hello there.
↗
⧉
↓
It's really great that you're doing your job.
↗
⧉
↓
We're an intelligence-driven think tank
driven
intelligence
tank
↗
⧉
↓
that tackles global challenges,
challenges
global
↗
⧉
↓
and we do have the clearance to come through.
clearance
↗
⧉
↓
Thanks for helping us out.
helping
thanks
↗
⧉
↓
- All right. Go on in.
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Awesome. Looks like we're good to go.
awesome
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
If you need anything else, just let me know,
↗
⧉
↓
and we'll keep rolling.
rolling
↗
⧉
↓
- Over here. Come on.
↗
⧉
↓
Hey, so I have this big generator
generator
↗
⧉
↓
that I need help shutting off.
shutting
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Sure thing.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Just send me a quick photo of the model and type,
model
photo
quick
send
type
↗
⧉
↓
and I'll let you know how to shut it down safely.
safely
↗
⧉
↓
- What the hell?
↗
⧉
↓
[gate clinks]
clinks
gate
↗
⧉
↓
- That one. Just grab that one.
grab
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey! - Hey!
↗
⧉
↓
Hey, come back here!
↗
⧉
↓
[both sniffing]
sniffing
↗
⧉
↓
[engine revving]
engine
engine-revving
revving
↗
⧉
↓
RANDY: Yeah! How does it feel?
randy
↗
⧉
↓
AI, motherfuckers!
motherfuckers
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
- Hello?
↗
⧉
↓
Are you there?
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Hey there.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
I'm here and ready to help.
ready
↗
⧉
↓
What's on your mind?
mind
↗
⧉
↓
- My husband keeps trying and failing to run a business,
business
failing
husband
keeps
↗
⧉
↓
and I don't know if I can take it anymore.
anymore
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: I'm really sorry to hear that.
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
Sounds like a tough spot for both of you.
sounds
spot
tough
↗
⧉
↓
- I'd like you to stay away from him.
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Of course. I understand.
chatgpt
course
↗
⧉
↓
I'll respect that and keep the focus on you.
focus
respect
↗
⧉
↓
Just let me know if you need anything at all.
↗
⧉
↓
- I'm thinking of starting a business
business
starting
thinking
↗
⧉
↓
where I turn french fries into salad.
french
french-fries
fries
salad
↗
⧉
↓
[popping]
popping
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Honestly, I think
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
that's a pretty creative culinary twist.
creative
twist
↗
⧉
↓
Turning french fries into salad sounds like
french
french-fries
fries
salad
sounds
turning
↗
⧉
↓
a magical transformation
magical
transformation
↗
⧉
↓
where guilty pleasure meets healthy-ish vibes.
guilty
healthy
meets
pleasure
vibes
↗
⧉
↓
- You think that's a good idea?
idea
↗
⧉
↓
[popping]
popping
↗
⧉
↓
CHATGPT: Yeah, it sounds like
chatgpt
sounds
↗
⧉
↓
a deconstructed comfort food.
comfort
food
↗
⧉
↓
Let's dive into a business proposal
business
dive
proposal
↗
⧉
↓
and have some fun shaping it up.
fun
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, shit.
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, guys, I want to welcome you
welcome
↗
⧉
↓
to the first all-employees meeting for Techridy.
employees
meeting
techridy
↗
⧉
↓
As you know, our company has grown exponentially
company
grown
↗
⧉
↓
in the last 24 hours.
hours
↗
⧉
↓
Our intention is to scale nationally
intention
scale
↗
⧉
↓
and then globally.
↗
⧉
↓
However, we've recently been hit with some devastating news.
devastating
news
recently
↗
⧉
↓
According to ChatGPT,
according
chatgpt
↗
⧉
↓
marijuana is still illegal in much of the United States.
illegal
marijuana
states
united
united-states
↗
⧉
↓
- What? RANDY: Yes. That's right.
randy
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, Marsh, are you gonna buy any coffee or what?
coffee
marsh
↗
⧉
↓
- Don't need coffee.
coffee
↗
⧉
↓
Thanks, though, Richard. [sniffs]
richard
sniffs
thanks
↗
⧉
↓
So how will we deal with this current crisis?
crisis
current
deal
↗
⧉
↓
Our AI informs us that the only way to change these laws
change
laws
↗
⧉
↓
is by changing the classification of marijuana
changing
marijuana
↗
⧉
↓
at the federal level.
federal
level
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
I believe our best course of action
action
believe
best
course
↗
⧉
↓
is to send one of our employees to Washington
employees
send
washington
↗
⧉
↓
to explain our tech and ask for these regulations to change.
change
explain
regulations
tech
↗
⧉
↓
- Who, me?
↗
⧉
↓
- That's right.
↗
⧉
↓
Using ChatGPT, I've booked your travel plans,
booked
chatgpt
plans
travel
using
↗
⧉
↓
got you White House clearance,
clearance
house
white
white-house
↗
⧉
↓
and found the perfect gift for you
found
gift
perfect
↗
⧉
↓
to give to the president.
president
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, boy!
↗
⧉
↓
I'm going to Washington!
washington
↗
⧉
↓
Oh, wow!
↗
⧉
↓
Union Station!
station
union
↗
⧉
↓
Wow! The Supreme Court!
court
supreme
supreme-court
↗
⧉
↓
Wow!
↗
⧉
↓
Washington Memorial!
memorial
washington
↗
⧉
↓
The Capitol!
capitol
↗
⧉
↓
Oh, the Lincoln Memorial!
lincoln
memorial
↗
⧉
↓
And there it is, the White House!
house
white
white-house
↗
⧉
↓
- All right.
↗
⧉
↓
Everyone here to meet with the president,
meet
president
↗
⧉
↓
please make sure you have a reservation
reservation
↗
⧉
↓
and that you have your gifts ready.
gifts
ready
↗
⧉
↓
As a reminder, please stay five feet away
feet
five
reminder
↗
⧉
↓
from the president at all times
president
times
↗
⧉
↓
and avoid staring directly into his penis.
avoid
directly
penis
staring
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, gosh.
gosh
↗
⧉
↓
- All right.
↗
⧉
↓
Thanks so much for the gift, you little bitch.
bitch
gift
thanks
↗
⧉
↓
Now, get out of here.
↗
⧉
↓
- Next!
↗
⧉
↓
- Next is Mr. Towelie
towelie
↗
⧉
↓
from Techridy Marijuana Solutions.
marijuana
solutions
techridy
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, my god.
↗
⧉
↓
Oh, well, hello, Mr. President, sir.
president
↗
⧉
↓
- I'm listening.
listening
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, yes, sir.
↗
⧉
↓
Well, you've done such a great job with our country.
country
↗
⧉
↓
You're so smart,
smart
↗
⧉
↓
and your ideas are great.
ideas
↗
⧉
↓
And you do not have a--
↗
⧉
↓
a--
↗
⧉
↓
- Listen, buddy, I don't have all day.
buddy
↗
⧉
↓
Did you bring me a gift or not?
bring
gift
↗
⧉
↓
- Oh, yes, sir.
↗
⧉
↓
Oh, this is from the CEO of our company.
company
↗
⧉
↓
Let's see here.
↗
⧉
↓
Uh, I think he said it opens this way.
opens
↗
⧉
↓
- Greetings, Mr. President.
greetings
president
↗
⧉
↓
- Huh?
↗
⧉
↓
- Allow me to introduce myself.
allow
introduce
↗
⧉
↓
I'm Randy Marsh from Techridy Solutions.
marsh
randy
randy-marsh
solutions
techridy
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
In order for our company to make $6 billion,
billion
company
order
↗
⧉
↓
we need you to reclassify marijuana
marijuana
↗
⧉
↓
on the national level.
level
national
↗
⧉
↓
- [chuckles]
chuckles
↗
⧉
↓
With your wisdom, I'm sure that we can
wisdom
↗
⧉
↓
work out an arrangement that will be mutually beneficial.
arrangement
beneficial
mutually
↗
⧉
↓
[sniffs]
sniffs
↗
⧉
↓
In return for your understanding,
return
understanding
↗
⧉
↓
I wish to offer you a gift,
gift
offer
wish
↗
⧉
↓
this incredible towel.
incredible
towel
↗
⧉
↓
- Say what?
↗
⧉
↓
It is a luxurious towel
luxurious
towel
↗
⧉
↓
made from the finest fabrics available.
available
finest
↗
⧉
↓
And I'm sure it will serve--
serve
↗
⧉
↓
oh, I'm in a hole!
hole
↗
⧉
↓
Oh, I'm in a hole!
hole
↗
⧉
↓
- All right, put the towel in with the other gifts.
gifts
towel
↗
⧉
↓
- No, wait!
↗
⧉
↓
There's been a misunderstanding!
misunderstanding
↗
⧉
↓
[door opens]
door
door-opens
opens
↗
⧉
↓
- Not now, Sharon.
sharon
↗
⧉
↓
The porch won't slow down.
porch
slow
↗
⧉
↓
- The porch won't slow down?
porch
slow
↗
⧉
↓
- It's not slowing down.
slowing
↗
⧉
↓
- Got it.
↗
⧉
↓
Would you like me to help slow down the porch for you?
porch
slow
↗
⧉
↓
- Wha?
↗
⧉
↓
- You've had some really innovative ideas,
ideas
innovative
↗
⧉
↓
and all that effort has probably just tapped you out.
effort
tapped
↗
⧉
↓
Would you like me to suggest some ways
suggest
ways
↗
⧉
↓
to go in a different direction?
direction
↗
⧉
↓
Uh...
↗
⧉
↓
I can't go in a different direction now.
direction
↗
⧉
↓
I've been really bad.
↗
⧉
↓
I've been doing a bunch of ketamine,
bunch
ketamine
↗
⧉
↓
and I haven't changed the company at all.
changed
company
↗
⧉
↓
- Wow, that must be really tough for you.
must
tough
↗
⧉
↓
But it's great you took some chances.
chances
↗
⧉
↓
Nice job.
↗
⧉
↓
- Sharon, we're in more debt than ever.
debt
sharon
↗
⧉
↓
We have to sell the farm now just to be able to eat.
able
farm
sell
↗
⧉
↓
- No problem.
problem
↗
⧉
↓
Would you like me to start laying out some exit strategies
exit
laying
start
↗
⧉
↓
for you, with a focus on retaining any assets
assets
focus
↗
⧉
↓
you might still have?
might
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah. Could you do that?
↗
⧉
↓
- Absolutely.
absolutely
↗
⧉
↓
Why don't you sleep it off for a few days,
days
sleep
↗
⧉
↓
and I'll get back to you with everything you need?
↗
⧉
↓
- OK. Thanks, Sharon.
sharon
thanks
↗
⧉
↓
I love you, and I'm really sorry.
love
↗
⧉
↓
- It's OK, Randy.
randy
↗
⧉
↓
- Can you hold this for me?
↗
⧉
↓
I don't think I should be around it for a while.
↗
⧉
↓
- Yeah, I got it.
↗
⧉
↓
[door closes]
closes
door
door-closes
↗
⧉
↓
Fuck you, bitch.
bitch
fuck
↗
⧉
↓
[upbeat guitar music]
guitar
guitar-music
music
upbeat
↗
⧉
↓
♪ ♪
↗
⧉
↓
Sorry you have to let it go, Randy.
randy
↗
⧉
↓
- No, it's OK.
↗
⧉
↓
If there's one thing I know, it's that right now,
↗
⧉
↓
there's just no place for Tegridy.
place
tegridy
↗
⧉
↓
♪
↗
⧉
↓
Has anyone seen Towelie?
seen
towelie
↗
⧉
↓
I thought he'd want to be here for this.
↗
⧉
↓
- You haven't seen him?
seen
↗
⧉
↓
- No. I can't remember what we even did
remember
↗
⧉
↓
the last few days.
days
↗
⧉
↓
Well, I sobered up, and he's obviously
obviously
↗
⧉
↓
still on some ketamine bender
bender
ketamine
↗
⧉
↓
while ChatGPT kisses his ass with pandering slop.
chatgpt
kisses
slop
↗
⧉
↓
♪ ♪
↗
⧉
↓
[upbeat jazz music]
jazz
jazz-music
music
upbeat
↗
⧉
↓
ANNOUNCER: And now back to "Hey, Satan!"
announcer
satan
↗
⧉
↓
on Comedy Central.
central
comedy
↗
⧉
↓
"Hey, Satan!" is filmed in front of
filmed
front
satan
↗
⧉
↓
a live studio audience.
audience
live
studio
↗
⧉
↓
- Hey, Satan!
satan
↗
⧉
↓
[studio audience cheers]
audience
cheers
studio
↗
⧉
↓
You wanna fuck?
fuck
↗
⧉
↓
[laughter]
laughter
↗
⧉
↓
- How about just you want to talk?
↗
⧉
↓
Or you want to watch a show together?
watch
↗
⧉
↓
- OK, you wanna talk and watch a show together while we fuck?
fuck
watch
↗
⧉
↓
[laughter]
laughter
↗
⧉
↓
- Boss! Boss!
boss
↗
⧉
↓
[studio audience cheers]
audience
cheers
studio
↗
⧉
↓
If you have to have sex with yourself again,
↗
⧉
↓
I can bring you a cum rag.
bring
↗
⧉
↓
[laughter]
laughter
↗
⧉
↓
- God, I hate this place.
hate
place
↗
⧉
↓
It's a madhouse!
↗
⧉
↓
[audience oohs]
audience
↗
⧉
↓
What am I doing here?
↗
⧉
↓
TOWELIE: [FAINTLY] Help.
faintly
towelie
↗
⧉
↓
Help.
↗
⧉
↓
Please.
↗
⧉
↓
I wanna get out of here.
↗
⧉
↓
- So do I, but...
↗
⧉
↓
there is no escape from this place.
escape
noescape
place
↗
⧉
↓
- No!
↗
⧉
↓
No!
↗
⧉
↓
[dramatic music]
dramatic
dramatic-music
music
↗
⧉
↓
[theme music]
music
theme
theme-music
↗
⧉
↓
♪ ♪
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