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Home » South Park » S27E01 — Sermon on the 'Mount

South Park

Season 27, Episode 1 — Sermon on the 'Mount

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Sermon on the 'Mount

Air date: July 23, 2025

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mona Marshall, Jennifer Howell

When the residents of South Park face their possible demise, Jesus returns to give them an important message.

Source: TMDB

↓

- Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com -

corrected synced

↓

* I'm goin' down to South Park *

goin park south south-park

↓

* Gonna have myself a time

↓

* Friendly faces everywhere *

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

* Humble folks without temptation *

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

* I'm goin' down to South Park *

goin park south south-park

↓

* Gonna leave my woes behind *

behind woes woes-behind

↓

* Ample parking day or night *

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

* People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" *

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

* I'm headin' on down to South Park *

headin park south south-park

↓

* Gonna see if I can't unwind *

unwind

↓

* Come on down to South Park *

park south south-park

↓

* And meet some friends of mine *

friends meet

↓

Alexa, put on 90.1.

↓

Got it. Now playing radio station 90.1 FM.

playing radio station

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

Mom, something's wrong with my favorite show.

favorite somethings

↓

It's just, like, static.

static

↓

Your favorite show?

favorite

↓

Yeah, NPR, National Public Radio,

national public radio

↓

where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff.

bitch liberals stuff whine

↓

Something's wrong with it.

somethings

↓

Oh, sweetie, the president canceled NPR.

canceled president sweetie

↓

What do you mean, the president canceled NPR?

canceled president

↓

That was, like, the funniest shit ever.

funniest

↓

I don't know what to tell you, hon.

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

You guys!

↓

You guys are not gonna believe this.

believe

↓

The president of the United States canceled NPR.

canceled president states united united-states

↓

- What's NPR? - What's NPR?

↓

The funniest show ever where all the lesbians

funniest lesbians

↓

and Jews complain about stuff?

complain jews stuff

↓

The fucking president had it taken off the air!

fucking president taken

↓

I mean, who the hell does this president think he is?

president

↓

The government can't cancel the show.

cancel government

↓

I mean, what show are they gonna cancel next?

cancel

↓

It was seriously the best show.

best

↓

It had, like, gay rappers from Mexico all sad

mexico rappers

↓

because girls in Pakistan got stoned to death.

death girls stoned

↓

And guess why they got stoned to death?

death stoned

↓

'Cause they were raped!

raped

↓

It was hilarious. Why would anyone cancel that?

cancel hilarious

↓

I don't know about you, but I'm worried about

worried

↓

what this country's coming to.

coming countrys

↓

It seems like everybody's changing

changing everybodys seems

↓

and suddenly woke stuff is off limits.

limits stuff suddenly woke

↓

I mean, it's like now everyone rips on the Jews,

jews

↓

and it's totally fine. Huh, Kyle?

kyle

↓

See? What's wrong with Kyle?

kyle

↓

Everybody's given up.

everybodys given

↓

Attention, students.

attention attention-students students

↓

There will be a mandatory assembly this morning.

assembly mandatory morning

↓

All students report to the gym, mkay?

mkay report students

↓

Oh, boy, PC Principal.

principal

↓

He's not given up.

given

↓

All right, everyone, listen up.

↓

Everybody, quiet!

everybody quiet

↓

There's some bull crap going on in this country,

bull country

↓

and I am not going to let it corrupt

corrupt

↓

the environment at this school!

environment school

↓

Oh, here we go.

↓

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired

sick tired

↓

of the way people are treated

treated

↓

and mocked for being compassionate.

compassionate mocked

↓

It is out of control!

control

↓

There's only one thing that can bring some normality

bring

↓

back to these corrupt times.

corrupt times

↓

And that is...

↓

our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ lord savior

↓

What?

↓

This school has traded truth for comfort

comfort school traded truth

↓

and worships idols of self and sin.

self

↓

We were a nation under God, but now we spit in His face

face nation spit

↓

and wonder why everything's falling apart.

apart everythings falling falling-apart wonder

↓

There's only one way back...

↓

repent, bow to Christ,

christ

↓

or be swept away with the rest of the godless lies.

godless lies rest

↓

What the hell, dude?

↓

In order to turn things around,

order

↓

I'm going to be a Power Christian Principal.

christian power power-christian principal

↓

You can call me PC Principal.

principal

↓

So now, I'd like you all to put your hands together

hands

↓

in welcoming Christ our Lord.

christ lord welcoming

↓

Hello, my children.

children

↓

I am the light and the way.

light

↓

Fellas, what the fuck is going on?

fellas fuck

↓

Yea, it is wonderful to be here,

↓

for where two or three gather in my name,

gather name three

↓

there am I with them.

↓

That's right!

↓

That's right. Let's go, Jesus.

jesus

↓

Fuck yeah!

fuck

↓

So how was your day, guys?

↓

Anything fun happen at school?

fun happen school

↓

No, not really.

↓

Uh, Jesus showed up.

jesus showed

↓

Jesus?

jesus

↓

Yeah.

↓

What's Jesus doing in your school?

jesus school

↓

I don't know.

↓

I don't think Jesus is allowed to be in schools.

allowed jesus schools

↓

Yeah, well, he was there.

↓

Well, I think I'm gonna have to talk to somebody about this.

somebody

↓

Hey, uh, how's it going?

↓

Um, is Jesus supposed to be allowed in schools?

allowed jesus schools supposed

↓

Generally, the idea is that public schools

generally idea public public-schools schools

↓

have to maintain a separation of church and state,

church maintain state

↓

so they can't promote any one religion.

promote religion

↓

Yeah, that's what I thought.

↓

The government can't force a religion on my son.

force government religion

↓

Public schools can teach about religions

public public-schools schools teach

↓

in a neutral educational way,

educational neutral

↓

but they can't endorse any particular one.

particular

↓

Was it a lesson on all world religions?

lesson world

↓

Uh, no. My son said that Jesus was literally at his school.

jesus school

↓

Then you're probably right to be concerned.

concerned

↓

It's good you're looking out for your son's education.

education looking sons

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

It's really nice to have someone

↓

to talk to about all this.

↓

No worries.

worries

↓

Let me know if there's any other way I can help.

↓

I'm always here.

↓

You're so awesome. Thanks.

awesome thanks

↓

Good night, honey.

honey night night-honey

↓

Have a great sleep,

sleep

↓

and I'm sure you'll do more amazing things tomorrow.

amazing tomorrow

↓

Ah.

↓

- Butters! - Ahh!

butters

↓

Butters, get over here.

butters

↓

What did I tell you, man? This shit is wack!

↓

PC Principal?

principal

↓

If he's changed, then there's no hope!

changed hope

↓

I think I know what's happening.

↓

I think woke is dead.

dead woke

↓

Woke is dead?

dead woke

↓

It's dead, Butters. It's gone!

butters dead gone

↓

You can just say retarded now. Nobody cares.

cares nobody nobody-cares retarded

↓

Everyone hates the Jews.

hates jews

↓

Everyone's fine with using gay slurs.

everyones using

↓

Oh. Well, that's not good.

↓

No, it's terrible!

↓

'Cause now I don't know...

↓

what I'm supposed to do.

supposed

↓

Eric?

eric

↓

More protests today

today

↓

as the government pushes harder for Christianity

christianity government harder pushes

↓

in our nation's schools.

nations schools

↓

The president stated earlier today that the spirit of Jesus

jesus president spirit today

↓

is important to our country,

country

↓

and he will sue anyone who doesn't agree with him.

agree

↓

What the hell is this president doing?

president

↓

He doesn't even act like a Christian.

christian

↓

Why is he pushing it on our kids?

kids pushing

↓

I told you this was all gonna be bad,

↓

but a lot of you here voted for him.

voted

↓

Yeah, I voted for him,

voted

↓

but all I've seen him do is arrest and sue people.

arrest seen

↓

I voted for him to get rid of all the woke stuff.

stuff voted woke

↓

But now that retarded faggot is just putting money

faggot money putting retarded

↓

in his own pockets.

pockets

↓

- Yeah! - That's right!

↓

Are we just gonna sit here

↓

and let him break every rule of freedom?

break freedom rule

↓

- No! - No way!

↓

Well, come on! Let's go get that son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

Yeah!

↓

Yeah!

↓

Come on! Come on, let's go get him!

↓

Come on, let's get him!

↓

- Let's go get him! - Come on, let's get him!

↓

Come on out, you piece of shit.

piece

↓

We're unelecting you.

↓

Excuse me. Do you mind?

excuse mind

↓

What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?

garrison

↓

I'm not doing anything.

↓

Oh, so you haven't been looting the country

country looting

↓

and ruling by fear

fear ruling

↓

like some Middle Eastern tinpot dictator?

dictator eastern middle

↓

No, I've been sitting here

sitting

↓

watching "White Lotus" with Rick.

rick watching white

↓

But you got re-elected.

elected

↓

He hasn't been back to Washington in years.

washington years

↓

He gave all that up.

↓

He's been really good.

↓

But if he's here,

↓

then who's the retarded faggot

faggot retarded

↓

in the White House?

house white white-house

↓

Uh-huh.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Okay.

↓

Mr. President, sir, the prime minister of Canada

canada minister president prime

↓

is here to see you.

↓

Mr. President, why are you placing

placing president

↓

these new tariffs on Canada?

canada tariffs

↓

What are you, some kind of dictator from the Middle East?

dictator east middle middle-east

↓

A dictator from the Middle East?

dictator east middle middle-east

↓

Hey, relax, guy.

relax

↓

I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest.

average rest

↓

The people of Canada will not be devalued like this.

canada

↓

Aw, come on.

↓

You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq.

bomb iraq

↓

I thought you just bombed Iran.

iran

↓

Iran, Iraq... what the hell's the difference?

difference hells iran iraq

↓

Relax, guy.

relax

↓

Hey! Hey!

↓

What the fuck is this, buddy?

buddy fuck

↓

This is the painting you asked for, sir.

asked painting

↓

Why is my dick so small?

dick

↓

But that's the size it is in the photo.

photo size

↓

Get this guy out of here!

↓

I'm gonna sue you!

↓

I'm gonna sue both of you.

↓

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

↓

Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it.

fun makes nobody

↓

Hey, Satan!

satan

↓

I don't want to right now.

↓

What? Hey, relax.

relax

↓

Come on, Satan. I've been working hard all day.

hard satan working working-hard

↓

You haven't been working.

working

↓

You've been doing your stupid memes and just fuckin' around.

fuckin memes stupid

↓

Come here, guy.

↓

Aw, come on, Satan.

satan

↓

You know you can't resist this.

resist

↓

I can't even see anything, it's so small.

↓

Hey! I'll fucking sue you!

fucking

↓

God, fuck you!

fuck

↓

Aw, come on, Satan.

satan

↓

Don't be like that.

↓

_

↓

_

↓

Eric?

eric

↓

Come on, Eric.

eric

↓

You... you can't keep doing this to yourself.

↓

I used to laugh, Butters.

butters laugh used

↓

I used to have fun.

fun used

↓

But now they've taken that away.

taken

↓

I'm not special anymore.

anymore special

↓

So what's the point in me even existing?

existing point

↓

Eric, what are you saying?

eric

↓

I'm saying that it's the end, Butters.

butters

↓

I'm gonna kill myself,

kill

↓

and you.

↓

Wait, me?

↓

It's a suicide pact, Butters.

butters pact suicide suicide-pact

↓

It's just best we end it now.

best

↓

No, Eric, listen to me.

eric

↓

Woke isn't dead.

dead woke

↓

It's still out there, somewhere,

↓

just waiting to come back.

waiting

↓

- It's not coming back. - It's waiting to come back!

coming waiting

↓

It's like a little tiny light that's gonna shine again.

light shine tiny

↓

You just gotta give it some time.

↓

I hope you're right, Butters.

butters hope

↓

But if it doesn't come back by, like, Tuesday,

tuesday

↓

I'm killing us both.

killing

↓

Mr. Marsh, I've called you into my office

called marsh office

↓

because I understand that you have a problem

problem

↓

with Jesus in our schools.

jesus schools

↓

I don't have a problem with it.

problem

↓

I mean, I think it's kind of weird.

weird

↓

Well, Mr. Mackey says you were bullying Jesus

bullying jesus mackey

↓

and wouldn't let him sit at your table in the cafeteria.

cafeteria table

↓

What? I didn't bully him.

bully

↓

Craig told him our table was full, which it was.

craig full table

↓

Mr. Marsh, Christ died for your sins, and he loves us all.

christ died loves marsh sins

↓

There's only one truth, one cross, and one savior.

cross savior truth

↓

And you will find him in your heart.

heart

↓

PC Principal?

principal

↓

Power Christian Principal, yes?

christian power power-christian principal

↓

What happened?

happened

↓

What... what happened with what?

happened

↓

Well, you used to be, like, super woke.

super used woke

↓

And then starting last November,

november starting

↓

you started acting weird.

acting acting-weird started started-acting weird

↓

And now you're super Christian.

christian super

↓

I just realized that the side I was on was hopeless.

hopeless realized side

↓

And in times of hopelessness, one finds Christ.

christ finds times

↓

Come to him, all who are heavy laden,

heavy laden

↓

- and he shall give you rest. - And I shall give you rest.

rest

↓

Dude, what's going on?

↓

Like, none of this seems normal.

normal seems

↓

That's the kind of attitude

attitude

↓

we are not gonna tolerate at this school!

school tolerate

↓

And, Mr. Marsh, if you don't accept Christ,

accept christ marsh

↓

then I'm gonna have to expel you.

↓

K, I'm pretty sure you can't do that.

↓

Like, I think that's illegal.

illegal

↓

No, Mr. Marsh, it's not illegal anymore.

anymore illegal marsh

↓

This is 2025, K?

↓

And not much is illegal.

illegal

↓

I accept Christ into my heart.

accept christ heart

↓

And into your school.

school

↓

And in my school.

school

↓

And at your table in the cafeteria.

cafeteria table

↓

There wasn't any room at my table... ah.

room table

↓

And at my table in the cafeteria.

cafeteria table

↓

Yay.

↓

* Oh! *

↓

* Faith in Christ *

christ faith

↓

* We're bringing back Christ *

bringing christ

↓

* There's money in Christ *

christ money

↓

* Bringing back Christ

bringing christ

↓

* Christ makes the money *

christ makes money

↓

* Christ makes the money

christ makes money

↓

* Christ makes the money *

christ makes money

↓

Mr. President, a lot of your supporters

president supporters

↓

are starting to turn against you.

starting

↓

Hey, tell them to take a rest.

rest

↓

Sir, can you please talk to them?

↓

They're really riled up.

riled

↓

All right, give me that.

↓

Hey, relax, guys.

relax

↓

Yeah, hi, uh, what do you think you're doing?

↓

Our children are being told that they have to sit

children

↓

with Jesus at lunchtime.

jesus lunchtime

↓

Listen, buddy, you just need to relax.

buddy relax

↓

All this protesting makes me look bad.

makes protesting

↓

Just take a rest.

rest

↓

Well, no, we're not gonna give it a rest.

rest

↓

All the people here in South Park

park south south-park

↓

want some goddamn answers.

answers goddamn

↓

All right, then I'm gonna sue your whole town.

town whole whole-town

↓

You got that? $5 billion.

billion

↓

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

↓

What'd he say?

whatd

↓

He said he's suing us for $5 billion.

billion suing

↓

Fucking stupid idiots.

fucking fucking-stupid idiots stupid

↓

Think they can mess with me, huh?

mess

↓

Hey, Satan.

satan

↓

I'm not in the mood right now.

mood

↓

Another random bitch commented on my Instagram

another bitch instagram random

↓

that you're on the Epstein list.

epstein list

↓

The Epstein list?

epstein list

↓

Are we still talking "aboot" that?

↓

Well, are you on the list or not?

list

↓

It's weird that whenever it comes up,

comes weird

↓

you just tell everyone to relax.

relax

↓

I'm not telling everyone to relax.

relax telling

↓

Relax, guy!

relax

↓

No, I need counseling.

counseling

↓

You remind me more and more of this other guy

remind

↓

I used to date, like, a lot.

date used

↓

Like, you guys are exactly alike.

alike

↓

I love you.

love

↓

Ugh.

↓

Come on, Satan.

satan

↓

Vroom! Pew!

vroom

↓

Oh, no!

↓

Vroom!

vroom

↓

Butters, honey, your little friend Cartman is here.

butters cartman friend honey

↓

He said it's Tuesday, and you guys have plans.

plans tuesday

↓

Eric?

eric

↓

Oh, no.

↓

Well, um, can you tell him I'm not home?

home

↓

Butters, don't be antisocial.

butters

↓

Go play with your friend.

friend

↓

He's out in the garage playing in our car with a hose.

garage hose playing

↓

Oh, no!

↓

Oh, God, Eric!

eric

↓

Hey, Butters, come on in.

butters

↓

Eric, no! Get out of there!

eric

↓

That side's locked, Butters. You gotta get on the other side.

butters locked side sides

↓

Eric, you don't have to do this!

eric

↓

- Close the door, Butters! - You can't give up...

butters close door

↓

You're letting all the fumes out!

fumes letting

↓

- Shut the fucking door! - Okay, fine!

door fucking

↓

You can't just give up like everyone else has.

↓

Butters, it's over.

butters

↓

You really wanna sit around for weeks

weeks

↓

waiting for a slow demise?

slow waiting

↓

- Well, no. - Well, neither do I!

↓

This is taking too long.

↓

Here you go, Butters.

butters

↓

Buckle up. We're in for the last ride.

buckle ride

↓

All right, fine.

↓

Suck it in, Butters.

butters suck

↓

We're heading for that big woke kingdom in the sky.

heading kingdom woke

↓

Okay, then.

↓

This is "60 Minutes."

minutes

↓

Oh, boy.

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Uh, oh, God.

↓

The small town of South Park, Colorado

colorado park park-colorado south south-park south-park-colorado town

↓

is protesting against the president.

president protesting

↓

The townspeople claim that the president...

claim president townspeople

↓

who is a great man...

↓

- A great man. - Great guy.

↓

We know he's probably watching.

watching

↓

And, uh, we are just reporting on this town in Colorado

colorado reporting town

↓

that's being sued by the president

president sued

↓

and they are fighting back.

fighting

↓

And just to be clear, we don't agree with them.

agree clear

↓

No, no, no, no. We think these protesters are total retards.

protesters total

↓

But our own Jim Conner has more.

↓

Uh... oh, God.

↓

Uh... uh, Tom, I'm here with the townspeople

townspeople

↓

speaking out against the president.

president speaking

↓

It all started when a father got upset

father started upset

↓

that Jesus was being forced on his son at school.

forced jesus school

↓

Young Stan Marsh is questioning the president's policies. I don't know.

marsh presidents questioning stan stan-marsh young

↓

You know, I don't know why he's questioning the president.

president questioning

↓

He's probably a faggot or something.

faggot

↓

But the townspeople say they owe the president nothing.

president townspeople

↓

We aren't gonna be told what to do by anyone.

↓

We all know the woke stuff went too far,

stuff woke

↓

but the answer isn't going too far the other way.

answer

↓

It's not a bad thing to have a little compassion for people.

compassion

↓

It's not a bad thing to care a little for the environment.

care environment

↓

The Stotch family is proud to say

family proud

↓

that we own an electric car.

electric

↓

Boy, this sure is taking a long time.

↓

Yeah, the human body does everything it can

body human human-body

↓

in the final stages to try and cling to life.

final life stages

↓

Shouldn't be much longer now.

longer

↓

Things are really heating up

heating

↓

in the small town of South Park.

park south south-park town

↓

More and more citizens are uniting in solidarity

citizens solidarity

↓

against what they call the president's oppression.

oppression presidents

↓

The townspeople are saying things are never hopeless,

hopeless townspeople

↓

that they must all stand strong

must stand strong

↓

for what they believe in.

believe

↓

We're in this for the long haul, guys.

haul

↓

This is about what's right.

↓

And we will fight, even if we have to do it alone.

alone fight

↓

Wait, we don't have to do it alone.

alone

↓

Look!

↓

It's Jesus!

jesus

↓

Let us break bread.

bread break

↓

Break bread with me.

bread break

↓

This is my body, given for you.

body given

↓

Do this in remembrance of me.

remembrance

↓

Now just eat the bread, and listen.

bread

↓

I didn't wanna come back and be in the school,

school

↓

but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit

lawsuit part

↓

and the agreement with Paramount.

agreement

↓

The president's suing you?

presidents suing

↓

The guy can do whatever he wants now

wants

↓

that someone backed down, okay?

backed

↓

Eat the bread. Eat the bread.

bread

↓

You guys saw what happened to CBS?

happened

↓

Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?

owns

↓

Paramount!

↓

Do you really wanna end up like Colbert?

↓

You guys gotta stop being stupid.

stupid

↓

We can't understand you.

↓

Just shut up,

↓

or we're going to get canceled, you idiots.

canceled idiots

↓

What the hell is he saying?

↓

Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount.

calling mount

↓

Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area

area faithful hundreds park south south-park

↓

where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom.

christ continues jesus jesus-christ speak wisdom words

↓

If someone has the power of the presidency

power presidency

↓

and also has the power to sue and take bribes,

power

↓

then he can do anything to anyone!

↓

It's the fucking president, dude.

fucking president

↓

All of you, shut the fuck up, or South Park is over.

fuck park south south-park

↓

It's fucking over.

fucking

↓

Just stop and shut the fuck up.

fuck

↓

Ye... yes, sir.

↓

Okay.

↓

Absolutely.

absolutely

↓

Yes, thank you, Mr. President.

president

↓

We'll be happy to pay that, sir.

happy

↓

Yes, sir. I...

↓

I will relax, and I'll take a rest.

relax rest

↓

Yes, thank you. Thank you very much.

↓

Okay, we settled.

settled

↓

Oh, we settled.

settled

↓

Thank God.

↓

I got the president down to $3.5 million.

million president

↓

$3.5 million? That's... that's not so bad.

million

↓

That's really fair. I think that's fair.

fair

↓

We'll just have to cut some funding

funding

↓

for our schools and hospitals and roads,

hospitals roads schools

↓

- and that should be that. - Yeah.

↓

Okay.

↓

Yeah, well, that's not quite all.

↓

As part of the settlement, we also had to agree

agree part settlement

↓

to doing pro-Trump messaging.

messaging trump

↓

How are we supposed to do pro-Trump messaging?

messaging supposed trump

↓

Oh, come on, guys.

↓

We're South Park!

park south south-park

↓

We can do it.

↓

- Yeah. All right. - He's right.

↓

- We just gotta work together. - Yeah!

↓

- All right! - Yeah! Yeah!

↓

Who walked through the desert for you?

desert walked

↓

Who survived the wilderness

survived wilderness

↓

and gave the ultimate sacrifice?

sacrifice ultimate

↓

When things heat up, who will deliver us from temptation?

deliver heat temptation

↓

Donald J. Trump.

donald trump

↓

No matter how hot it gets,

matter

↓

he's not afraid to fight for America.

afraid america fight

↓

With conviction, discipline, and trust in God,

conviction discipline trust

↓

he survived the desert.

desert survived

↓

I'm Donald J. Trump, and I endorse this message.

donald message trump

↓

Trump...

trump

↓

his penis is teeny tiny,

penis teeny teeny-tiny tiny

↓

but his love for us is large.

love

↓

_

↓

_

↓

Oh, I think I might be going.

might

↓

Yep, sweet death is about to come.

death sweet

↓

I love you, man.

love

↓

- Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com -

corrected synced