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Season 26, Episode 6 — Spring Break
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
#1
⇓
* I'm going down to South Park *
#2
⇓
* Gonna have myself a time *
#3
⇓
* Friendly faces everywhere *
#4
⇓
* Humble folks without temptation *
#5
⇓
* Going down to South Park *
#6
⇓
* Gonna leave my woes behind *
#7
⇓
* Ample parking day or night *
#8
⇓
* People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" *
#9
⇓
* Headed on up to South Park *
#10
⇓
* Gonna see if I can't unwind *
#11
⇓
* So come on down to South Park *
#12
⇓
* And meet some friends of mine *
#13
⇓
Hey, Rick!
#14
⇓
Oh. Hey, Herb.
#15
⇓
So, you know what this week is, right?
#16
⇓
Um, is it Easter?
#17
⇓
No, it's my spring break!
#18
⇓
No school for seven days!
#19
⇓
And guess what? Go pack your things
#20
⇓
because you and I are going on a big, romantic trip!
#21
⇓
Really?
#22
⇓
I just came from the travel agent.
#23
⇓
We're gonna spend five nights
#24
⇓
in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
#25
⇓
Oh.
#26
⇓
- Well, what's the matter? - Myrtle Beach? Really?
#27
⇓
We all know what goes on down there.
#28
⇓
I don't do that stuff anymore, and neither should you.
#29
⇓
Rick, I don't wanna go down there to rage.
#30
⇓
I just wanna sit on a beach with you and watch the sunset.
#31
⇓
Yeah, but isn't Myrtle Beach where those places are?
#32
⇓
I don't wanna go into one of those places.
#33
⇓
I don't think they even exist anymore.
#34
⇓
Don't you think this is just what we need, Rick?
#35
⇓
You don't even wanna go into one of those places?
#36
⇓
Rick, I'm a little old for that.
#37
⇓
It'd be pretty pathetic if I did.
#38
⇓
Well...
#39
⇓
- Okay. - Ohh, Rick!
#40
⇓
We're gonna have the best time!
#41
⇓
I can't wait to spoil you.
#42
⇓
I really do need a vacation.
#43
⇓
Oh, we're gonna have the best spring break of anyone!
#44
⇓
All right, guys. You sure you packed everything?
#45
⇓
Yeah, that should be all of it.
#46
⇓
Well, I hope you and Shelley have a great spring break trip.
#47
⇓
I still feel bad, us going on a trip
#48
⇓
while you and Stan stay home.
#49
⇓
You guys have fun in Santa Fe.
#50
⇓
We're gonna do some dad and son stuff.
#51
⇓
Goodbye, Shelley!
#52
⇓
Have fun! I'll miss you!
#53
⇓
There should be food enough to last you the week.
#54
⇓
Yes, yes, don't worry. We'll be fine.
#55
⇓
- Bye, Stan! Love you! - Love you, Mom!
#56
⇓
- Okay, guys, be safe. - Bye!
#57
⇓
Aww, jeah!
#58
⇓
Bitches are gone!
#59
⇓
Spring break! Spring break! Spring break!
#60
⇓
This is gonna be the best spring break ever.
#61
⇓
They're gonna be gone the whole week!
#62
⇓
Bro, what are you doing?
#63
⇓
I'm painting miniatures.
#64
⇓
Painting min...
#65
⇓
Dude, do you not understand?
#66
⇓
Your mom and Shelley are gone.
#67
⇓
We can do whatever we want without any stupid rules.
#68
⇓
Whatever I want?
#69
⇓
Yeah, dude!
#70
⇓
That's what this is all about.
#71
⇓
Let's do some spring break shit!
#72
⇓
Can I see if any of the guys wanna come over
#73
⇓
to do "40k" all week?
#74
⇓
Hell, yeah, let's do some "40k."
#75
⇓
What is that?
#76
⇓
You don't know "Warhammer 40k"?
#77
⇓
Oh, yeah, "Warhammer 40k," of course.
#78
⇓
I'm down. Let's do it.
#79
⇓
- Really? All week? - Yeah, dude!
#80
⇓
You're old enough.
#81
⇓
Sweet! I'm gonna call Tolkien!
#82
⇓
_
#83
⇓
Oh, Rick.
#84
⇓
Isn't this nice? This place is incredible.
#85
⇓
Yeah, it's really nice.
#86
⇓
I just don't know if I deserve all this.
#87
⇓
You do deserve it, Rick.
#88
⇓
You've made me really happy.
#89
⇓
Are you almost done?
#90
⇓
Yeah, all done. Here you go.
#91
⇓
Oh, Rick. Look at how happy we are.
#92
⇓
Oh, that salt water air is just so good.
#93
⇓
Can't wait to try some Southern food.
#94
⇓
- You hungry? - Yeah, sure. I could eat.
#95
⇓
A lot of things are different here in the South.
#96
⇓
Kinda hard to figure out what's good.
#97
⇓
Yeah, all the stores
#98
⇓
and restaurants here aren't like Colorado.
#99
⇓
It's almost like another culture.
#100
⇓
Herb?
#101
⇓
Herb?
#102
⇓
_
#103
⇓
- Oh, no. - Geez.
#104
⇓
It's still here.
#105
⇓
You said you wouldn't go into one of these places.
#106
⇓
I don't wanna go in. I just...
#107
⇓
can't believe some of these places are still here.
#108
⇓
Whoa! Look who's here!
#109
⇓
What are you doing in town?
#110
⇓
Oh, I'm just on vacation.
#111
⇓
This is Rick.
#112
⇓
Well, do you wanna come inside
#113
⇓
and rally a little bit?
#114
⇓
Oh, no thanks. I don't rally anymore.
#115
⇓
You sure? Everyone would love
#116
⇓
to rally with you again.
#117
⇓
I'm sure. I don't need to rally.
#118
⇓
I'm just here to relax. Take care.
#119
⇓
Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here!
#120
⇓
America number one!
#121
⇓
Number one, yep.
#122
⇓
Some people, huh? Geez.
#123
⇓
Okay, so I'm gonna have my Retributor Squad
#124
⇓
attack your Stormhawk Interceptor.
#125
⇓
Okay, that has a toughness of 7
#126
⇓
and a -1 to your hit rolls.
#127
⇓
Okay, so that's three, four, five hits.
#128
⇓
Okay, I'm gonna roll my saving throw, which is 3+.
#129
⇓
What in the actual [BLEEP]
#130
⇓
are you guys doing?
#131
⇓
We're playing "40k."
#132
⇓
You guys have wasted another day of spring break
#133
⇓
with this stupid shit.
#134
⇓
Do you guys know what spring break is about?
#135
⇓
Wet t-shirt contests, mud wrestling.
#136
⇓
Don't you wanna get some bitches over here?
#137
⇓
I thought you were happy 'cause the bitches were gone?
#138
⇓
I'm happy the bitches are gone
#139
⇓
so we can have bitches over!
#140
⇓
Spring break is dude time.
#141
⇓
But you know what,
#142
⇓
today's society has ruined it all.
#143
⇓
They've taught you boys to be ashamed of being boys.
#144
⇓
Convinced you that your natural innate male desires are toxic.
#145
⇓
No matter what the liberals try to tell you, boys,
#146
⇓
you shouldn't be ashamed of your gender.
#147
⇓
Okay, Dad. So I've got an Imperium infantry unit
#148
⇓
within six inches of Celestine,
#149
⇓
so they have a +6 save.
#150
⇓
My God.
#151
⇓
What are we going to do?
#152
⇓
I'm going to sleep.
#153
⇓
I'm gonna go to sleep now.
#154
⇓
* I feel so alone *
#155
⇓
Here I go... to sleep.
#156
⇓
Rick?
#157
⇓
Can I help you find any... oh, my God!
#158
⇓
Sir, you're back!
#159
⇓
Yeah, just browsing.
#160
⇓
You guys, it's him! He's here!
#161
⇓
- Oh, wow, it is him! - It's him?
#162
⇓
Is that really you?
#163
⇓
What are you doing here?
#164
⇓
Could I get a selfie with you?
#165
⇓
Hey, uh, since you're here,
#166
⇓
you wanna rally a little bit?
#167
⇓
No, no. I can't rally
#168
⇓
I've got a serious boyfriend. I'm just looking around.
#169
⇓
Oh, come on. When are you gonna be here again?
#170
⇓
Live a little!
#171
⇓
Well, maybe I could do just a little bit.
#172
⇓
I mean, wha...
#173
⇓
What the hell is up with all these Mexicans? Huh?
#174
⇓
Yeah! I mean... I mean, Joe Biden obviously thinks
#175
⇓
immigrants are made of gold or something.
#176
⇓
Piece of shit!
#177
⇓
Yeah! Yeah!
#178
⇓
Hey, Steven. You know your son's
#179
⇓
been over at my house for spring break?
#180
⇓
Yeah, of course I know.
#181
⇓
Well, you should see what they're doing,
#182
⇓
'cause it's a little hrrrp.
#183
⇓
Well... well, what are they doing?
#184
⇓
Look, I just think we better talk with our boys
#185
⇓
to counteract all the ways in which society
#186
⇓
has been pathologizing masculinity.
#187
⇓
I mean, you went balls-out on spring break, right?
#188
⇓
Tried to see chicks' boobs and stuff?
#189
⇓
Mm, no I didn't.
#190
⇓
Well, no, I mean, you weren't ashamed
#191
⇓
of being a guy, right?
#192
⇓
Like, you went out to the lake
#193
⇓
and tried to play grab ass with girls, right?
#194
⇓
No, I did not.
#195
⇓
Why... why are you saying that?
#196
⇓
Why are you making those words with your mouth?
#197
⇓
Oh, hey, Randy. Everything okay with the boys?
#198
⇓
Ohh, right.
#199
⇓
Sorry... sorry, yeah, everything's great.
#200
⇓
They're playing a little table miniatures game.
#201
⇓
It's great.
#202
⇓
Just, uh, came to let you know they're good.
#203
⇓
Don't worry.
#204
⇓
I'm gonna take care of it.
#205
⇓
I'll tell you what else.
#206
⇓
This whole situation in the Ukraine,
#207
⇓
that wouldn't be happening on my watch.
#208
⇓
The problem is now we all have a president who's afraid.
#209
⇓
And that's why Joe and the ho have got to go!
#210
⇓
And I'll tell you another thing.
#211
⇓
It's... oh, hang on a second.
#212
⇓
Oh, crap.
#213
⇓
Ho... hold on a second, everybody.
#214
⇓
Uh...
#215
⇓
Oh, hey, Rick!
#216
⇓
Where are you?
#217
⇓
I couldn't sleep, Rick.
#218
⇓
I was just tossing and turning
#219
⇓
and I didn't wanna wake you up,
#220
⇓
so I decided to come out and buy some sunscreen
#221
⇓
and stuff for our beach day tomorrow.
#222
⇓
Oh, okay.
#223
⇓
I got scared that you were out rallying.
#224
⇓
Ohh, geez, well, that's silly.
#225
⇓
Last thing I wanna do is rally.
#226
⇓
Listen up... Get back to sleep, Rick.
#227
⇓
I'll... I'll be right home, okay?
#228
⇓
Okay. Sorry for panicking. Bye.
#229
⇓
Bye-bye.
#230
⇓
Okay, uh, nice to meet you, everybody.
#231
⇓
I need to get going.
#232
⇓
Oh, come on. Just rally with us a little bit more.
#233
⇓
No, I really can't.
#234
⇓
Just a few more minutes. Come on!
#235
⇓
All right, I guess I can rally just a little bit longer.
#236
⇓
I mean, after all, I am here for you.
#237
⇓
I am your warrior!
#238
⇓
Liberal left!
#239
⇓
Hunter Biden laptop!
#240
⇓
Yeah! Yeah!
#241
⇓
Uh...
#242
⇓
Ugh. Oh, geez.
#243
⇓
Herb? Herb, you gotta get up.
#244
⇓
We're gonna miss our whole beach day.
#245
⇓
Oh, it's... it's just the time change, Rick.
#246
⇓
You enjoy the beach.
#247
⇓
I just gotta sleep a little longer.
#248
⇓
Okay.
#249
⇓
Dude, it's so awesome being able
#250
⇓
to leave "Warhammer" set up all night
#251
⇓
and come back to it in the morning.
#252
⇓
I know, it's great.
#253
⇓
Hey, hey, you guys. What did you do?
#254
⇓
- What do you mean? - I mean the cops are here.
#255
⇓
What did you guys do?
#256
⇓
We're just continuing our game of "40k" from last night.
#257
⇓
Okay, you guys, just stop
#258
⇓
'cause the police wanna ask you some questions.
#259
⇓
Come on in, officers.
#260
⇓
Hello, gentlemen.
#261
⇓
Hands up.
#262
⇓
We heard somebody in here's been bad.
#263
⇓
Oh, no, guys. Looks like you're in big trouble.
#264
⇓
You better read 'em their rights.
#265
⇓
Hey, whoa, whoa! Don't touch the models.
#266
⇓
We spent a long time on this.
#267
⇓
Stan, stop with that shit.
#268
⇓
Come on, get into it.
#269
⇓
Wet t-shirt contest!
#270
⇓
Hey, what the [BLEEP]?
#271
⇓
- What? - Hey, you [BLEEP] guy!
#272
⇓
You do not harass the ladies!
#273
⇓
Well, I wanted strippers, not prudes.
#274
⇓
You wanna talk, big man? Huh?
#275
⇓
You wanna be big man?
#276
⇓
Whoa, whoa, okay. I...
#277
⇓
I think I need to explain something to you, okay?
#278
⇓
Look, I'm just trying to combat the messages
#279
⇓
that the liberal left is putting out to young men
#280
⇓
about their male instincts being toxic.
#281
⇓
The [BLEEP] you talking?
#282
⇓
You know, I'm trying to show my son
#283
⇓
and his nerdy little friend what a real party is
#284
⇓
'cause society wants them to be ashamed
#285
⇓
of their masculine natures.
#286
⇓
- You want real party? - Yeah!
#287
⇓
Truth is, I got a whole barn full of weed.
#288
⇓
I will call some friends.
#289
⇓
The person you are trying to reach
#290
⇓
cannot be located.
#291
⇓
Please leave a message.
#292
⇓
Where are you?
#293
⇓
I got back from the beach and you were gone.
#294
⇓
Please pick up.
#295
⇓
Excuse me. Excuse me.
#296
⇓
And we're gonna take Georgia,
#297
⇓
and... and we're gonna take Arizona this time!
#298
⇓
And when I say we're gonna take Arizona in the election,
#299
⇓
I... I mean we're gonna take it again.
#300
⇓
'cause we all know I won it last time, too!
#301
⇓
Oh.
#302
⇓
Oh. Hey, everybody.
#303
⇓
This is Rick.
#304
⇓
Rick! Rick, will you just wait!
#305
⇓
You know it's 2:00 in the morning?
#306
⇓
I was alone at the hotel while you were out rallying!
#307
⇓
I just wanted to rally for a little bit.
#308
⇓
Yeah, you really look like you just rallied a little bit.
#309
⇓
I got a text that Tucker was in town,
#310
⇓
and I just wanted to go rally for a little bit.
#311
⇓
You really think those people care about you, Herb?
#312
⇓
They don't. They just wanna do that.
#313
⇓
Rick, I got it out of my system now.
#314
⇓
We can still have a great vacation.
#315
⇓
Let's just start over tomorrow.
#316
⇓
Okay?
#317
⇓
Right, all right, let's do this!
#318
⇓
Okay, you ready?
#319
⇓
Three, two, one. Go!
#320
⇓
Check it out, guys!
#321
⇓
Ahh!
#322
⇓
Huh? Whoa!
#323
⇓
Sir, do you think you can walk?
#324
⇓
No, I don't think so.
#325
⇓
Sir, we think you've had too much to drink,
#326
⇓
and we should probably take you to the hospital.
#327
⇓
No, I can't. I have to stay here
#328
⇓
'cause I'm in charge of my son.
#329
⇓
Today's woke culture has vilified his manhood
#330
⇓
and made him ashamed of himself.
#331
⇓
Okay, sir, but it appears you have a broken arm
#332
⇓
and several fractured ribs.
#333
⇓
Yeah, but I can't leave
#334
⇓
because my son's natural instincts are being suppressed
#335
⇓
and it's leading to behavioral problems.
#336
⇓
You see the shit he's doing?
#337
⇓
He's over there playing with dolls.
#338
⇓
It's pretty good fondue, right?
#339
⇓
We should probably just go back to the hotel.
#340
⇓
You've got the shakes from rallying all night.
#341
⇓
No, no, Rick. This is our vacation.
#342
⇓
I want us to have a nice
#343
⇓
romantic lunch.
#344
⇓
Maybe we should just go back to Colorado.
#345
⇓
No, Rick. I'm gonna make this up to you.
#346
⇓
I don't wanna rally anymore.
#347
⇓
There's just a lot of people out there
#348
⇓
who won't let it go, you know?
#349
⇓
Yes, and you can't be around them.
#350
⇓
I know, I know.
#351
⇓
Let me just...
#352
⇓
Let me just go throw up because I'll feel much better.
#353
⇓
Okay, go throw up, Herb.
#354
⇓
Oh, God.
#355
⇓
Come on, just stop. Stop.
#356
⇓
The country is fine.
#357
⇓
You have better things to do.
#358
⇓
Yeah, oh yeah! That's it! Yeah!
#359
⇓
We're gonna get abortion rights thrown the hell out
#360
⇓
so those dirty lesbians can't keep having abortions!
#361
⇓
Yeah! Oh, yeah, man!
#362
⇓
We're gonna get those Black Lives Matter protestors
#363
⇓
off the streets with a fire hose!
#364
⇓
- Yeah, America! - Yeah!
#365
⇓
Rick!
#366
⇓
[BLEEP] you.
#367
⇓
Well, to hell with you!
#368
⇓
Nobody controls me!
#369
⇓
- Yeah! - Yeah! America! Yeah!
#370
⇓
Can I help you?
#371
⇓
We've had some complaints about a party
#372
⇓
that's been going on for three days here.
#373
⇓
Hey, what's going on?
#374
⇓
All right, guys, who ordered the stripper?
#375
⇓
Can we come in and look around, sir?
#376
⇓
Oh, yeah! Come on in.
#377
⇓
Honk honk!
#378
⇓
All right, get down on the ground!
#379
⇓
Whoa, whoa! No, no, no. It's okay.
#380
⇓
I'm just helping my boy
#381
⇓
through the media assault on manliness.
#382
⇓
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
#383
⇓
I need to see some ID, sir.
#384
⇓
Uh! Okay! Okay, Stan! Stan!
#385
⇓
Yeah?
#386
⇓
Can you get my wallet from the upstairs?
#387
⇓
Yeah, soon as we're done with this psyker phase.
#388
⇓
I have five psyker units.
#389
⇓
Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.
#390
⇓
Hey! Freeze! You, right there!
#391
⇓
That's Alonzo Fineski, the Romanian sex trafficker!
#392
⇓
[BLEEP] you, big man!
#393
⇓
Ahh! Oh, my God!
#394
⇓
Ahh!
#395
⇓
Stan? Stan?
#396
⇓
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
#397
⇓
here he is,
#398
⇓
the once and future president
#399
⇓
of the United States of America!
#400
⇓
Thank you. I am here today
#401
⇓
for those who have been wronged.
#402
⇓
For those who have been betrayed.
#403
⇓
And let me tell you
#404
⇓
that nobody in this country has been betrayed more
#405
⇓
than my Ricky Rick.
#406
⇓
Huh? What?
#407
⇓
Rick, I am so sorry.
#408
⇓
And if you are out there,
#409
⇓
I want you to know that I love you.
#410
⇓
You are the only thing that keeps me from doing
#411
⇓
all this stupid stuff.
#412
⇓
When I met you, I felt in control of myself
#413
⇓
for the first time.
#414
⇓
There has never been anyone who calmed me down more
#415
⇓
than my little Ricky Bear.
#416
⇓
You are my boo.
#417
⇓
Did he just say that Rick is his boo?
#418
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The truth is, some of us simply can't be alone.
#419
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We need a relationship so that we're accountable to someone.
#420
⇓
I realize now how broken I am
#421
⇓
without that person who keeps me from destroying myself.
#422
⇓
Sh-Sharon?
#423
⇓
And all I've ever done was take you for granted
#424
⇓
and wished I wasn't being controlled.
#425
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Hi, Sharon.
#426
⇓
Will you please come home?
#427
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Rick, I am a giant piece of shit without you.
#428
⇓
I don't deserve another chance.
#429
⇓
You have been wronged.
#430
⇓
You have been betrayed.
#431
⇓
And the only person who deserves retribution is me.
#432
⇓
I know you all really want to rally and rage, but...
#433
⇓
the only thing I have to say is...
#434
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is that I love Rick.
#435
⇓
I love Rick! I love Rick!
#436
⇓
I love Rick.
#437
⇓
I love Rick.
#438
⇓
I love Rick! I love Rick!
#439
⇓
I love Rick!
#440
⇓
- I love Rick! - I love you, Rick!
#441
⇓
I love Rick! I love Rick!
#442
⇓
- I love Rick! - Yeah!
#443
⇓
I love Rick!
#444
⇓
I love Rick! I love Rick!
#445
⇓
I love Rick! I love Rick!
#446
⇓
I love Rick!
#447
⇓
Oh, crap. Here we go again!
#448
⇓
I love Rick! I love Rick!
#449
⇓
It's okay, Randy. We're back.
#450
⇓
I'm sorry I cut your trip short.
#451
⇓
It's okay, Randy.
#452
⇓
You made it longer than last spring break.
#453
⇓
- Oh. Hey, Mom. - Stanley,
#454
⇓
what have I told you about playing "Warhammer"
#455
⇓
- on the kitchen table? - Aw!
#456
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Oh, Rick!
#457
⇓
I don't wanna go through all that again.
#458
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I just wanna stay in South Park with you.
#459
⇓
Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
#460
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com
#461
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