🎲 Surprise Me

Results (8345)

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mkay, make sure you're legal.
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How did you get into heaven?
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Um, I was really nice to people,
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and I helped various charities.
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Look, I'm really sorry about this,
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but I'm just trying to make my nut.
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Mackey, I need a word.
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You did another great job out there, Mackey.
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I like your style.
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Oh. Thank you.
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The President's handing out bonuses
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to recruits that stand out.
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And I'm going to recommend you
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for the next set of bonuses that--
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No more brownies in heaven.
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Hello and welcome to the third annual
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Charlie Kirk Award for Young Masterdebaters.
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More and more young people today
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are learning to fight for America
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through masterdebation.
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We're here to honor the recent efforts of a brave young man
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who has been furiously masterdebating
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for the past several days and has won himself
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not only this trophy, but also an all expenses paid vacation
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to a beautiful five-star resort.
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He has proven himself the true champion.
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Please welcome the best young masterdebater
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of our time, Clyde Donovan.
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No! That's my trip to a five-star resort!
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Come on, Eric. Let's go.
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Thanks, everyone.
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The Civil Rights Act was a huge mistake.
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And, I don't know, lesbians are an abomination of God.
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You all stole my schtick!
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We got some of your pay stubs in.
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Let's see how that nut's looking.
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Well, seems you got some bonuses
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for rounding up the most Mexicans.
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We don't round up Mexicans, OK?
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We just detain foreigners who might be illegal.