🎲 Surprise Me

Results (13329)

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Alright, Quagmire, we're going to tell you everything we know about lovemaking
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#413
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to help you excite women again.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#414
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Yeah, and everything I know, I learned from amateur porn.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#415
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Do you have a Jacksonville Jaguars hat you can put on backwards?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#416
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I don't think this is helpful, Peter. I want to have real sex.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#417
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Oh, well, then the key is to eat a giant steak,
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#418
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and then fall asleep on top of Lois. She loves that.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#419
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Or maybe try some scented body butter.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#420
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I rub some on before relations with Donna.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#421
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By the end of the night, she's like Yosemite Sam with two guns.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#422
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She says I have the rootin'est-tootin'est,
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#423
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girthiest-sturdiest, most positively elephantiest
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#424
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jackhammer in all the West.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#425
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Okay.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#426
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Or hey, maybe you're just not a sex guy anymore?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#427
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Maybe you date the girls, but another fella steps in for, uh, the sex.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#428
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That's what Bon and I do. [chuckles]
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#429
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This poor sap's upstairs nailing my wife,
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#430
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meanwhile I'm in the basement, knocking out Frasier's left and right.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#431
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Guys, this has been spectacularly unhelpful.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#432
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Well, what do you want us to do? You're the sex guy in the group.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#433
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Not anymore I'm not.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#434
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Thanks for trying, but...
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#435
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Let's be honest, I'm old.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#436
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I'm washed up.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#437
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My days of pleasing women are behind me.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#438
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You guys can let yourselves out.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#439
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I think I'm gonna take a nap.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#440
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Who else but Quagmire?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#441
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What'd you say to me?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#442
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You heard me. Who else could hit on my wife for 20 years?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#443
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Quagmire.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#444
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Who else could sleep with my first wife?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#445
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Quagmire.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#446
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So, don't you give me this crap that you're old and washed up.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#447
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You'll never be. And you know why?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#448
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'Cause who else but Quagmire?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#449
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I'll tell you who else, no one!
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#450
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I'm gonna go out there, get my mojo back,
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#451
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and then I'm giving Elle the time of her life!
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#452
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[door opens]
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#453
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[car starting]
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#454
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Ah, it's a great day for a walk.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#456
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Uh, yeah, yeah. When the wind made that fence rattle, you...
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#457
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- You did a good job barking at it. - Thank you.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#458
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It was a crisis and I feel like I took charge.
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#459
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Hey, what do you say we take another lap around the block?
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#460
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Oh, I don't know. I'm really tired now,
Family Guy
S23E09 — The Elle Word
#461
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