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Home » Family Guy » S23E09 — The Elle Word

Family Guy

Season 23, Episode 9 — The Elle Word

↓

♪ It seems today that all you see ♪

seems seems-today today

↓

♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪

movies violence

↓

♪ But where are those Good old-fashioned values ♪

fashioned fashioned-values values

↓

[all] ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

rely used

↓

♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

family lucky

↓

♪ Lucky there's a man who Positively can do ♪

lucky positively

↓

♪ All the things that make us ♪

↓

♪ Laugh and cry! ♪

laugh

↓

[all] ♪ He's a family guy! ♪

family

↓

with Angela Lansbury and Paul McCartney.

angela mccartney paul

↓

Well, she's dead.

dead

↓

She sure is, Paul.

paul

↓

You're Paul. I'm Angela.

angela paul

↓

And one of us either looks like an old woman or an old man.

woman

↓

That's the real mystery.

mystery real

↓

Is James Corden nice?

james

↓

Not really, no.

↓

Sorry, those are the rules.

rules

↓

They only let in humans and squirrels.

humans squirrels

↓

- What? - I'm just kidding.

kidding

↓

Bye, babe. [blows kisses]

babe blows kisses

↓

Alright, Stewie, hold my hand while I get our reusable bags from the trunk.

alright bags hand stewie trunk

↓

Calm down. Where am I gonna run? The market?

calm market

↓

It's not like it's mango season.

mango season

↓

- [bell dings] - [gasps]

bell bell-dings dings gasps

↓

The mango bell?

bell mango

↓

for the next two-and-a-half minutes.

half minutes

↓

[crowd clamoring]

clamoring crowd

↓

- I've gotta get in there! - [gasps]

gasps

↓

- [tires screeching] - [gasps]

gasps screeching tires tires-screeching

↓

Wow, that was close.

close

↓

I've never killed someone outside the hospital.

hospital killed

↓

What is this?

↓

It's Eddy Grant's theme to Romancing the Stone.

stone theme

↓

This is stupid.

stupid

↓

I'm finding another song.

another finding song

↓

♪ They do what they want to do, say what they want ♪

↓

What the hell is this?

↓

"Addams Groove" by MC Hammer.

groove hammer

↓

It's the theme song to The Addams Family movie.

family movie song theme theme-song

↓

It went to number four in Ireland.

four ireland number number-four

↓

And this is better?

↓

Your guy just keeps saying the name of the movie!

keeps movie name

↓

I'm turning mine up.

turning

↓

Then I'm turning mine up!

turning

↓

Will you guys please turn off your terrible theme songs?

songs theme

↓

[both] Sorry, Joe.

↓

Guys, I think Quagmire's getting away.

quagmires

↓

Yeah, look, Joe. He's making a right.

↓

Don't worry, I'm on it.

worry

↓

I'm running over stuff at The Forum this Sunday.

forum running stuff sunday

↓

You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge.

edge seat whole

↓

Hey, Lois. I'm taking Stewie to the park.

lois park stewie

↓

Come on, Bri, I need a post that will make Lance think I'm outdoorsy.

lance outdoorsy post

↓

Hold on, before you go, I got something.

↓

Yes! You're gettin' leashed!

gettin

↓

Ah, I'm going to film my reaction in slow-mo.

film reaction slow

↓

It's for Stewie.

stewie

↓

[slow-mo] Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

slow

↓

After that close call at the store,

close store

↓

I want to make sure he cannot run away again.

cannot

↓

So, I bought this.

bought

↓

It's a child harness.

child harness

↓

That's not a harness, it's a leash!

harness leash

↓

A harness is something Rupert and I use on my birthday.

birthday harness rupert

↓

I thought you two also use a leash.

leash

↓

Well, I guess someone's been listening at the door.

door listening someones

↓

No, you texted me.

texted

↓

Well, either way, I demand this be taken off at once!

demand taken

↓

Children don't belong in leashes.

belong children

↓

Just like Bill Burr doesn't belong in The Mandalorian.

belong bill

↓

I've located the child.

child located

↓

He's on an Empire ship.

empire ship

↓

I'll assemble a strike team.

assemble strike team

↓

I'll jam the ship's radar.

radar ships

↓

And I'm gonna go whiz in a Gatorade bottle 'cause I don't trust space toilets.

bottle gatorade space toilets trust whiz

↓

Uh, which part of space are you from again?

part space

↓

[Bill] South space!

bill south space

↓

[doorbell rings]

doorbell doorbell-rings rings

↓

Quagmire, come on, we tee off in an hour.

hour quagmire

↓

Don't worry, I'll register us online to save time.

online register save worry

↓

Name? Joe Swanson.

name swanson

↓

Handicap? Yes.

handicap

↓

Quagmire, let's go!

quagmire

↓

[door creaks open]

creaks door door-creaks open

↓

Hey! What the hell are you doing?

↓

Ooh, he must be with the mystery girl.

girl must mystery

↓

- I bet she's married. - Or famous.

famous married

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

Quagmire and the Librarian?

librarian quagmire

↓

[shushes]

shushes

↓

Quagmire and the Librarian?

librarian quagmire

↓

Wow! At the library, I guess Quagmire's been checking out more than just books.

books checking library quagmires

↓

[laughing]

laughing

↓

Come on, don't encourage him.

encourage

↓

I can't believe it.

believe

↓

Yeah. And she's got BB-8 underwear.

underwear

↓

Lois said they don't make those!

lois

↓

Guys, I'd appreciate if you'd leave now.

appreciate

↓

Yeah, sure, let me just tie my shoe.

shoe

↓

Peter, is that R2-D2 underwear?

peter underwear

↓

Yeah, they're old and stupid.

stupid

↓

You and the Librarian.

librarian

↓

I don't get it.

↓

Yeah, did, like, a bully dare you to invite her to prom

bully dare invite prom

↓

and then it turned into something more?

turned

↓

Or, your boss is a family man,

boss family

↓

and you're just pretending to date her to get the big promotion?

date pretending promotion

↓

No, there's no '90s movie premise involved!

involved movie premise

↓

See, this is why I didn't want to tell you guys about her.

↓

I knew you wouldn't understand.

↓

Then, help us understand, Glenn.

glenn

↓

Show us your world.

world

↓

Dammit Peter, you just had chicken wings!

chicken chicken-wings dammit peter wings

↓

I just like her, okay.

↓

She's nice, she's smart.

smart

↓

And when you ask her where she wants to eat dinner,

dinner wants

↓

she always has a clear, confident answer.

answer clear confident

↓

- No way! - You lie!

↓

It's true! And it's nice to date someone where I can relax and be myself.

date relax

↓

I don't even have to hide my moderate-to-severe plaque psoriasis.

hide plaque psoriasis severe

↓

You have plaque psoriasis?

plaque psoriasis

↓

Well, I did before Skyrizi.

skyrizi

↓

♪ I can't see me lovin' nobody but you ♪

lovin nobody

↓

♪ For all my life ♪

life

↓

[male announcer] Skyrizi may cause general douchery,

announcer general male skyrizi

↓

like spinning at weddings and sky hooking paper into trash cans.

cans hooking paper spinning trash trash-cans weddings

↓

And that's not even the best thing about her.

best

↓

Believe it or not, fellas,

believe fellas

↓

she's the best I've ever had in bed.

best

↓

The Librarian?

librarian

↓

Yeah, she spent the last 30 years sitting at a reference desk,

desk reference sitting spent years

↓

reading back issues of Cosmopolitan Magazine.

issues magazine reading

↓

That means she's read over four million tips on how to please her lover.

four lover million read tips

↓

You know, you guys would like her if you'd just give her a chance.

chance

↓

I don't know. Us?

↓

Hang out with a librarian?

hang librarian

↓

Yeah, I don't think we're a match.

match

↓

Like William Wallace and the guy who wouldn't wear face paint.

face face-paint paint wallace wear william

↓

They may take our lives,

lives

↓

but they will never take our...

↓

Hey, where's your face paint?

face face-paint paint

↓

I can no wear it.

wear

↓

I have the plaque psoriasis.

plaque psoriasis

↓

Or at least, I did before Skyrizi.

least skyrizi

↓

♪ I can't see me lovin' nobody but you ♪

lovin nobody

↓

Ugh, this thing is so humiliating.

humiliating

↓

Ah, it's not a big deal.

deal

↓

I'm sure no one will even notice.

notice

↓

Oh, crap! It's Jake from my gym,

jake

↓

boxing an MMA mannequin.

boxing mannequin

↓

Stewie?

stewie

↓

Uh, hey, Jake. Just, uh, doing some resistance training.

jake resistance training

↓

Heard about it on Rogan.

heard rogan

↓

Nice. Love Rogan.

love rogan

↓

Yes, he's for the vanguard of independent thinkers

independent

↓

who also have seven hours a day to listen to a shaved ape.

hours seven seven-hours shaved

↓

Okay, Brian, I think I covered nicely there.

brian covered nicely

↓

I'm gonna go play.

↓

Oh! What the hell?

↓

Uh, looks like we got our leashes tangled.

tangled

↓

Sorry about that. My little guy doesn't always look where he's going.

↓

Uh, Brian, I think he's trying to establish dominance.

brian dominance establish

↓

Ah, he's just being friendly.

friendly

↓

Sir, sir?

↓

You cannot sniff back there.

cannot sniff

↓

Alright, that's it. Two can play at this game, tough guy.

alright game tough

↓

[sniffs]

sniffs

↓

Wow, you're six.

↓

[sniffs]

sniffs

↓

And from Denver?

denver

↓

Huh, there's a lot of information in butts.

butts information

↓

I get it now.

↓

I'm so excited to be here with you guys!

excited

↓

Okay, good start, shows energy.

energy shows start

↓

Peter, this isn't a tryout.

peter

↓

Sorry. So, Elle, uh...

elle

↓

Hey, what are your arm tattoos?

tattoos

↓

Oh, those are my three babies that never came to term.

babies term three

↓

Oh, wow. Uh...

↓

Uh, yeah, maybe, maybe uh...

↓

maybe you just long sleeve it.

sleeve

↓

Or don't say it.

↓

Yeah, sleeve it or don't say it.

sleeve

↓

Oh, I stopped sleeving when I started Skyrizi.

skyrizi started stopped

↓

Enough with Skyrizi!

skyrizi

↓

Do Taco Bell! At least they're a sponsor!

bell least sponsor taco taco-bell

↓

So, uh, anyway, on the way here,

↓

Elle was saying how much she likes beer.

beer elle likes

↓

No, I didn't. I said the library masturbator ruined another atlas.

another atlas library ruined

↓

Ah!

↓

Okay, look. This ain't working.

aint aint-working working

↓

Elle, we're regular guys.

elle regular

↓

You're a librarian, all right?

librarian

↓

I don't know the first thing about libraries,

↓

except that the atlases are sexy.

except sexy

↓

Hell, I only even go to the library for the puppet show 'cause I like King Puppet.

king library puppet

↓

You mean this puppet?

puppet

↓

[gasps]

gasps

↓

Quagmire, I love her.

love quagmire

↓

You hit it out of the park.

park

↓

Hey, do you know the guy who does Prince Puppet?

prince puppet

↓

Yes, but the prince is a little shy.

prince

↓

Oh my God, how is this happening?

↓

I'm just Peter Griffin!

griffin peter peter-griffin

↓

Well, Peter may like you.

peter

↓

But good luck winning over the Joe.

luck winning

↓

Aren't you the cop who hid in the library when he heard "shots fired"?

fired heard library shots shots-fired

↓

Never mind, you won the Joe.

mind

↓

[chuckles] I also believe in essential oils.

believe chuckles essential

↓

Would anyone like eucalyptus for their nose?

nose

↓

No, that's stupid.

stupid

↓

Ooh! [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

That's nice.

↓

I can see why women make this crap their whole personality.

personality whole women

↓

Ah, this is great.

↓

I'm so glad you guys are getting along.

along glad

↓

We sure are. [gasps]

gasps

↓

And I love this eucalyptus.

love

↓

I feel like Koala Peter.

peter

↓

Hey Mum, I'm gonna pick some of these Tasmanian berries.

berries pick

↓

[thuds] Ow! Ow! Ow!

thuds

↓

Oi Crikey! Me peepers!

peepers

↓

I'm meaner than you think.

meaner

↓

[kids chattering]

chattering kids

↓

Connor, no! No!

↓

All right, you can sniff the hydrant.

hydrant sniff

↓

Aidan, no jumping!

jumping

↓

I said no jumping!

jumping

↓

Ah, never make your hobby your job.

hobby

↓

Ooh, Brian, they have a movie with animals singing!

animals brian movie singing

↓

Pass. Hi, do you have anything with any of the girls from Euphoria?

girls pass

↓

Oh, come on!

↓

Miley Cyrus plays a sassy giraffe!

cyrus giraffe plays sassy

↓

Demi Lovato also plays a sassy giraffe!

giraffe plays sassy

↓

And Halsey plays...

plays

↓

Oh, you know, I think it's a movie about giraffes.

movie

↓

Listen, if you're looking to be a creep,

creep looking

↓

all I can offer you is Jennifer Connelly in Hot Widow.

jennifer offer widow

↓

Yeah, that works.

works

↓

How dark does the theater get?

dark theater

↓

Sir, movie theaters are a failing business,

business failing movie movie-theaters theaters

↓

you can do whatever you want.

↓

No! Animals singing!

animals singing

↓

Stewie, enough! We're not seeing animals singing!

animals seeing singing stewie

↓

Ow! Okay, we'll...

↓

We'll see yours instead.

↓

Wow!

↓

After all this time of putting up with your snide comments

comments putting

↓

and domineering attitude, I'm finally in control.

attitude control finally

↓

All right, let's go see my movie!

movie

↓

Yes, Brian.

brian

↓

Whatever you want.

↓

Too late. They just turned this place into pickleball courts.

courts late pickleball place turned

↓

- What? - [people clamoring]

clamoring

↓

[male announcer] Movie theaters! What a debacle!

announcer male movie movie-theaters theaters

↓

Thanks for bringing Elle the other night. She's really something.

bringing elle night thanks

↓

She sure is.

↓

I don't get my shirt dry-cleaned for just any date.

cleaned date shirt

↓

This weekend, I'm asking her to make our relationship official.

asking official relationship weekend

↓

Why don't you just ask her now, when she gets done kissing that other guy?

kissing

↓

[kissing]

kissing

↓

What?

↓

Elle, what are you doing?

elle

↓

[chuckles nervously]

chuckles chuckles-nervously nervously

↓

Glenn.

glenn

↓

Hi.

↓

Well, the top stars of puppetry are often unfaithful.

often stars

↓

You knew the risks.

risks

↓

God, this is so humiliating.

humiliating

↓

Captain Quagmire?

captain quagmire

↓

Nestor? The guy with batons who directs my plane to the gate?

gate plane

↓

Oh, God! This is...

↓

This is even more humiliating!

humiliating

↓

Actually, I'm called a "marshaller."

called

↓

Yeah, I don't think that's a real term, but I can't believe this.

believe real term

↓

Thank God other pilots don't hang out here.

hang pilots

↓

Glenn Quagmire and the marshaller?

glenn glenn-quagmire quagmire

↓

Okay, I guess that is a term.

term

↓

Oh, Glenn. [chuckles nervously]

chuckles chuckles-nervously glenn nervously

↓

I'm sorry to have to tell you like this,

↓

but I just, I don't think you and I are working out.

working

↓

What? Why?

↓

We get along great!

along

↓

I know. [laughs]

laughs

↓

The problem is in bed.

problem

↓

You've just, you've never given me an orgasm.

given orgasm

↓

What?

↓

Calling all cars,

calling cars

↓

we have a man ripped to pieces at 42 Maple.

maple pieces ripped

↓

Heartbroken, guts pulled right out.

guts heartbroken pulled

↓

Suspect is a saucy librarian.

librarian saucy suspect

↓

A strangler got away 'cause I was goofin' on the radio.

radio

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

Hey, you hear about Glenn Quagmire?

glenn glenn-quagmire quagmire

↓

Can't pleasure a woman.

pleasure woman

↓

Peter, that's me!

peter

↓

Oh, sorry, I thought I was somewhere else.

↓

Anyway, we haven't told anyone.

↓

How ya doin', buddy?

buddy doin

↓

Well, you know, it was a shock at first, but I'm starting to adjust.

adjust shock starting

↓

I've gotten really into running ten Ks, I garden now,

garden gotten running

↓

and I even bought season tickets for the Orioles,

bought season tickets

↓

since that's what guys who can't satisfy women do.

satisfy women

↓

[car honks]

honks

↓

- What's that? - My new car.

↓

I traded in my convertible for a Toyota Yaris.

convertible traded

↓

Sign here that you're incapable of satisfying a woman.

incapable satisfying sign woman

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

Great, and I'm so sorry, you now own a Yaris.

↓

- I also got a nice text from Josh Charles. - What?

charles josh text

↓

When a guy can't please a woman, he gets a text from Josh Charles.

charles josh text woman

↓

He's kind of the leader of our community.

community leader

↓

Okay, well, I guess things aren't so bad then.

↓

Of course they are!

course

↓

I hate my life now!

hate life

↓

I can't even be a pilot anymore because the passengers don't respect me.

anymore passengers pilot respect

↓

Bye now. Thanks for flying.

flying thanks

↓

Ma'am, can I help you get off?

maam

↓

Hmm! Not from what I hear.

↓

[Peter laughs]

laughs peter

↓

I was also on that flight.

flight

↓

And then I got a cease and desist order

cease desist order

↓

from the people who license the word "giggity."

giggity license word

↓

- What? - It's a standard franchise agreement,

agreement franchise standard

↓

but apparently it can only be used by men who can satisfy their partners.

apparently partners satisfy used

↓

Hey, guys. I'm just gonna trim this overgrown bush.

bush trim

↓

Go... Go...

↓

Oh God, what am I gonna do?

↓

[crying]

crying

↓

[phone dings]

dings phone phone-dings

↓

Thanks, Josh.

josh thanks

↓

[crying hysterically]

crying hysterically

↓

Guys, we have to do something.

↓

Yeah, we gotta help him get his mojo back.

mojo

↓

Come on, Quagmire, let's get you up.

quagmire

↓

Yeah, I hate seeing you like this.

hate hate-seeing seeing

↓

And I wanna know who the hell has "giggity" right now.

giggity

↓

Giggity!

giggity

↓

You know what? Good for the giggity people.

giggity

↓

Embracing change.

change

↓

Uh, Stewie, do I need to take out the leash?

leash stewie

↓

Sorry, Bri.

↓

So, listen, I have to change my flight and I need you to wait on hold for me.

change flight

↓

Oh, come on! That'll take forever!

forever thatll

↓

[clears throat]

clears clears-throat throat

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

[♪ muzak playing]

muzak playing

↓

This is Celia, how may I help you?

celia

↓

Oh, thank God. My name is Brian Griffin.

brian brian-griffin griffin name

↓

I'm calling about Flight 432 to Chicago.

calling chicago flight

↓

Tell her I want a flight with zero male flight attendants.

attendants flight male zero

↓

That's what I'm calling for?

calling

↓

And, and I want to sit next to a half-Asian chick.

asian chick half

↓

How would they even know that?

↓

I heard your requests.

heard requests

↓

You are now on flight 376.

flight

↓

And sitting next to Grace Thompson-Woo.

grace sitting thompson

↓

- Really? - Yes.

↓

We do this all the time for James Franco.

james

↓

All right! Now call Ticketmaster.

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

[man] You've reached Ticketmaster.

reached

↓

Good luck, douchebag.

douchebag luck

↓

Alright, Quagmire, we're going to tell you everything we know about lovemaking

alright lovemaking quagmire

↓

to help you excite women again.

women

↓

Yeah, and everything I know, I learned from amateur porn.

amateur learned porn

↓

Do you have a Jacksonville Jaguars hat you can put on backwards?

backwards

↓

I don't think this is helpful, Peter. I want to have real sex.

helpful peter real

↓

Oh, well, then the key is to eat a giant steak,

giant steak

↓

and then fall asleep on top of Lois. She loves that.

asleep fall fall-asleep lois loves

↓

Or maybe try some scented body butter.

body body-butter butter scented

↓

I rub some on before relations with Donna.

donna relations

↓

By the end of the night, she's like Yosemite Sam with two guns.

guns night

↓

She says I have the rootin'est-tootin'est,

↓

girthiest-sturdiest, most positively elephantiest

positively

↓

jackhammer in all the West.

west

↓

Okay.

↓

Or hey, maybe you're just not a sex guy anymore?

anymore

↓

Maybe you date the girls, but another fella steps in for, uh, the sex.

another date fella girls steps

↓

That's what Bon and I do. [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

This poor sap's upstairs nailing my wife,

nailing poor upstairs wife

↓

meanwhile I'm in the basement, knocking out Frasier's left and right.

basement knocking left meanwhile

↓

Guys, this has been spectacularly unhelpful.

↓

Well, what do you want us to do? You're the sex guy in the group.

group

↓

Not anymore I'm not.

anymore

↓

Thanks for trying, but...

thanks

↓

Let's be honest, I'm old.

honest

↓

I'm washed up.

washed

↓

My days of pleasing women are behind me.

behind days women

↓

You guys can let yourselves out.

yourselves

↓

I think I'm gonna take a nap.

↓

Who else but Quagmire?

quagmire

↓

What'd you say to me?

whatd

↓

You heard me. Who else could hit on my wife for 20 years?

heard wife years

↓

Quagmire.

quagmire

↓

Who else could sleep with my first wife?

sleep wife

↓

Quagmire.

quagmire

↓

So, don't you give me this crap that you're old and washed up.

washed

↓

You'll never be. And you know why?

↓

'Cause who else but Quagmire?

quagmire

↓

I'll tell you who else, no one!

↓

I'm gonna go out there, get my mojo back,

mojo

↓

and then I'm giving Elle the time of her life!

elle giving life

↓

[door opens]

door door-opens opens

↓

[car starting]

starting

↓

Ah, it's a great day for a walk.

walk

↓

Uh, yeah, yeah. When the wind made that fence rattle, you...

fence rattle wind

↓

- You did a good job barking at it. - Thank you.

barking

↓

It was a crisis and I feel like I took charge.

charge crisis

↓

Hey, what do you say we take another lap around the block?

another block

↓

Oh, I don't know. I'm really tired now,

tired

↓

and my diaper lost contain.

diaper lost

↓

Come on, we're taking another lap.

another

↓

Please! Rupert and I ate at a cantina last night.

night rupert

↓

I don't care, Stewie!

care stewie

↓

I have the leash, so I'm in control!

control leash

↓

Ah! [thuds]

thuds

↓

Okay, well, two dogs are disappointed in me.

disappointed dogs

↓

And they should be.

↓

Look at me.

↓

I've become a power-hungry, inhumane dog owner that I despise.

become despise hungry inhumane owner power

↓

I'm sorry, Stewie.

stewie

↓

I never should have treated you like this.

treated

↓

You don't need a leash.

leash

↓

You need to be free.

free

↓

Really?

↓

That's right, pal.

↓

Ooh! The ice cream truck!

cream cream-truck truck

↓

- [car screeching] - [thuds]

screeching thuds

↓

Ow! Did you see the driver?

driver

↓

It was Caitlyn Jenner again.

jenner

↓

God! How is Caitlyn Jenner still allowed to drive?

allowed drive jenner

↓

That was practically manslaughter!

practically

↓

More like they/them slaughter.

slaughter

↓

You know what? I don't think we're qualified to talk about this.

qualified

↓

[knock on door]

door knock

↓

Glenn?

glenn

↓

Hello, gorgeous!

gorgeous

↓

These are for you.

↓

I took your criticism to heart,

criticism heart

↓

and I'm here to let you know, I've upped my game!

game

↓

I have more stamina, more flexibility,

↓

and you know that trick where someone ties a knot with a cherry stem?

cherry knot stem ties trick

↓

[coughs]

coughs

↓

Dammit, ow.

dammit

↓

That was much more painful than I thought it'd be.

painful

↓

Oh, I don't know, Glenn. [chuckles]

chuckles glenn

↓

Are you sure you can handle me?

handle

↓

Better question.

question

↓

Can you handle me?

handle

↓

All right, let's load him in!

load

↓

What happened?

happened

↓

O.I.A.

↓

Orgasm Induced Aneurysm.

induced orgasm

↓

Poor guy slept with someone out of his league.

league poor slept

↓

I gotta say, his elbows look perfect.

elbows perfect

↓

[birds chirping]

birds birds-chirping chirping

↓

Well, Elle may not have worked out,

elle worked

↓

but a lot of women still enjoy my company.

company enjoy women

↓

I guess Elle was just too much woman for me.

elle woman

↓

And perhaps anyone.

perhaps

↓

[♪ slow music playing]

music music-playing playing slow

↓

[thuds]

thuds

↓

Hi, I'm John Mayer.

john

↓

I put my skinny arms in a t-shirt today to let you know that every year,

arms shirt skinny today

↓

over a 1000 men die from an Orgasm Induced Aneurysm, or O.I.A.

induced orgasm

↓

Every guy wants sex to be mind-blowing but not like this.

blowing mind wants

↓

Should I play the song now?

song

↓

No, the guy was from Boston, so we're gonna do that screaming,

boston screaming

↓

shanty rock that makes Bruins fans punch each other in the face.

face fans makes punch rock

↓

[♪ Shipping Up to Boston playing, Dropkick Murphys]

boston murphys playing shipping

↓

[grunting]

grunting