🎲 Surprise Me

Results (13329)

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He only uses me to scratch his icky parts.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#210
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[normal voice] Shut up and get to work in there.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#211
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Uh-oh, look who's here.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#212
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What the hell? You guys said you had plans,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#213
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but you're here drinking?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#214
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And you're in my spot, Cleveland.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#215
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Yep. Think I'm gonna be sitting
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#216
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wherever I want from now on, chief.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#217
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Sorry, we didn't want people thinking
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#218
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we were noodle-armed by association.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#219
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Yeah, my arms are literally all I have.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#220
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How do you not know how to throw?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#221
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I never learned.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#222
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My dad was always working when I was a kid,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#223
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and when he'd get home, he always said he had a headache.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#224
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That was back before everyone carried metal water bottles,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#225
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so no one drank water, and all adults had headaches.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#226
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My only friends were day raccoons,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#227
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who are the most social of all raccoons.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#228
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They're the ones who taught me how to throw.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#229
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So, that's why I throw bad for a guy,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#230
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but really good for a raccoon.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#231
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- Is all that true? - I don't know.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#232
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I've had several cases of rabies,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#233
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so memories are hard for me.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#234
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All I know is that I've spent the rest of my life
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#235
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avoiding scenarios where I got to throw.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#236
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Didn't you go to Red Sox fantasy camp?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#237
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And I swear I've seen you having a catch
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#238
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with Chris out on your front lawn.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#239
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Yeah, that was my stunt double.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#240
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He's the fat guy who dresses up like me at Comic-Con.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#241
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He wants to interview me as me,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#242
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and I'm just like, dude, no.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#243
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Excuse me, are you Peter Griffin?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#244
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That depends. Are you classlessly serving
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#245
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a legal document for Jason Sudeikis?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#246
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No, I do promotions for a local minor league team,
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#247
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the Quahog Blowholes.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#248
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Ah, yes, then I'm Peter.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#249
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I wanted to invite you to throw out
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#250
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a ceremonial first pitch this weekend.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#251
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What? You know he can't throw, right?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#252
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Yes, that's why we want him.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#253
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Minor league baseball needs gimmicks to attract fans.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#254
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You guys remember the story about that chimpanzee umpire?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#255
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The one what ate up all them fans' faces?
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#256
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Yup. That was me.
Family Guy
S23E07 — Pitch Imperfect
#257
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