🎲 Surprise Me

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and he said that if you...
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...have to go to the bathroom up there, you just go.
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They don't care. Because you can't come down.
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It'd make a weird rainbow.
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You wouldn't be able to see it.
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All right, everybody, let's get started.
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We got a really productive and fun-filled weekend ahead of us here.
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I got a close-up magician coming in. Guy I met on a plane.
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He's gonna have some tricks just blow your mind.
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But before we get started,
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I unfortunately have some upsetting news.
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I hate to do this in front of everybody,
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but it came to my attention that you said something that was
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wildly inappropriate and offensive,
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and we need to send you home.
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What? What happened?
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He said he slept like a homo.
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- Homo? - Yeah, I slept like a homo.
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- Barry! - Sorry, homosexual.
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I just said something that, you know, it's factually correct.
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- True. - Barry. That's not a phrase you can say.
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Well, but it's true. You know, I was just really tired and I just slept that way.
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But it doesn't make any sense.
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Okay, well, just think about it.
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You know, it's physically exhausting,
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pounding or getting pounded in your anus.
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That wears you out way more than vaginal sex.
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- Barry-- - It's true! There's no doubt about it.
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You're getting plumbobbed, real deep and hard.
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When your partner is about ready to pull out, it might hurt a lot.
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So you've got all this anxiety building up.
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And then the relief after they come out of you?
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Oh, that release of stress,
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that makes you tired, man.
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That's exhausting. That's all I'm saying.
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Last night, I just got that real good, deep sleep.
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Like a gay guy.
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I can't let you fire him, Dave.
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Because he's right.
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And how would you know that, Phil?
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Because I'm gay.