🎲 Surprise Me

Results (13329)

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to look for additional deductions.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#378
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Well, how about deducting all those receipts
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#379
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from my kitchen table?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#380
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Ya too messy!
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#381
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These are theater chairs, they're not supposed to swivel.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#382
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Huh, weird.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#383
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- Did you break our chair? - I improved your chair.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#384
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Actually, my whole street is full of weirdos.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#385
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So my crippled neighbor, he's a real jerk.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#386
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He's so handicapped, he gets to park inside the bank.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#387
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Ya too messy!
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#388
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[man coughs]
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#389
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Huh. Is this thing on?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#390
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Oh, I'm on, honey. They can hear youse just fine.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#391
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Okay, you're gonna love this one.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#392
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So there's this predator next door
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#393
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that we still hang out with even though he hurts women.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#394
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[laughs] I-I'm still working on the punchline for that one.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#395
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- Ginger bitch. - Married a loser 'cause she's a loser.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#396
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[man 2] My dad died during knee surgery.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#397
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Please, stop. Look, I-I just want to make you laugh.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#398
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Well, we don't like your jokes,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#399
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and Will Smith said we're allowed to hit comics.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#400
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[clamoring]
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#401
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Whoa, hey, hey, guys, I just wanted her to bomb, but not this.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#402
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This is what bombing is now. Beatings are the new boos.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#403
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Look, I-I know you've all had or will have
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#404
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two drinks at minimum, but please, calm down.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#405
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- Hey, you gonna huck that? - I'm still working on it.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#406
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Aw.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#407
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- What's with the flimsy cans? - We drink hard seltzer now.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#408
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Ugh, at least go get beer bottles to throw like a respectable rioter.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#409
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Oh, my God, Peter.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#410
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All this time, I was belittling you,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#411
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but you did what I wasn't willing to do for you:
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#412
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protect my spouse from public ridicule when--
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#413
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Crap, we only got eight seconds left in tonight's episode.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#414
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You don't have to be smart for me or serious.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#415
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I married you for who you are, a good husband.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#416
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And I married you 'cause you did mouth stuff in the car.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#417
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but overall, that's not really who you are.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#418
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Hey, I'm-I'm sorry for ruining your special, Lois.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#419
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Oh, that's okay, it all worked out.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#420
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They actually ended up giving it to Joe instead.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#421
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Boy, I'm glad I'm not a cop in DC, I'd be writing tickets for gridlock.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#422
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You know what DC stands for? "Dumb Congress."
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#423
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Hey, three congressmen walked into a bar.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#424
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Nothing happened.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#425
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