🎲 Surprise Me

Results (13329)

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You have made a complete fool out of me.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#275
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And after I worked my fingers to the bone
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#276
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- renovating our bathroom. - About that,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#277
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why did you mount the toilet on the ceiling?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#278
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The blueprints were upside down.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#279
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See? This is what I'm talking about.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#280
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Your whole life is a joke. Excuse me for noticing.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#281
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For God's sake, you were the first video on 2017's Epic Rope Swing Fails.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#282
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You think Harry Potter was based on a true story.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#283
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Don't twist my words. I said, "There are probably wizard schools."
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#284
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Look, Peter, for years I've had to put a good face on
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#285
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while you act like an ignorant, impulsive child.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#286
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And it is exhausting!
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#287
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I finally found a way to turn my pain into art,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#288
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and nothing is gonna stop me
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#289
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because Lois C.K. is standing in the doorway of comedy,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#290
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and you're gonna watch me until I erupt... with jokes.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#291
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We'll see how funny you are
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#292
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when you don't have this idiot to make fun of anymore.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#293
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Good morrow, family.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#294
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Christopher. Stewart. Megan. Dogglas. Loisabeth.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#295
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Hmm...
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#296
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In a right triangle, the sine of a given angle
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#297
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is equal to the ratio of the side opposite that angle to the hypotenuse.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#298
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And a hypotenuse is not a math hippo.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#299
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So you lied to me?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#300
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I-I just always wanted a family,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#301
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and I thought that this could be my way in.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#302
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Is that even your visor?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#303
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I stole it off a blackjack dealer.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#304
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He didn't chase me because it was too sad.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#305
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- And how are your studies? - Oh, I'm all automotive now.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#306
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I spend my days under a Dodge Charger and evenings in the back seat.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#307
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Always a pleasure chatting with you.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#308
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- I saved the comics for you, Dad. - No, thank you.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#309
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Today I'll be reading the funny business section.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#310
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"Lasagna Futures Tumble in Worst Monday Ever."
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#311
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I warned him to diversify into other noodles.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#312
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Could you pass the Fiber One?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#313
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If you'll excuse me, a man from Craigslist is here
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#319
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to buy my box of shenanigans.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#320
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Whatever this is, it won't last. Buffoonery is in your blood.
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#321
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Why, aorta...
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#322
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Okay, we caught the escaped giraffe,
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#325
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but who's gonna ride him back to the zoo?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#326
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Oh, what do you say, Peter?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#327
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Would you rather ride the giraffe, or take our sensible family car?
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#328
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[starts engine]
Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#329
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