🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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All right, I was gonna start in on the interview prep,
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but I don't think I can do it, man.
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But I could get arrested for something like that, dude.
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- Coach. Coach Novak, I need to, uh,
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talk to you about the budget.
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I need to you, uh...
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I need you to cut down on field chalk.
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Can't be, you know, touching that up every day.
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I'm not gonna compromise.
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- I get it. We're on the same team.
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- But while we're talkin' budget,
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I need a new P.E. parachute.
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The old one got snagged on a kid's belt buckle.
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He got whipped across the room,
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and his buckle gutted that chute like a trout.
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- "Never compromise."
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First off, I need to know
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when students get whipped across the gym.
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And secondly, I'm in cutting mode, so--
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- Oh, I see. You headed straight to P.E., huh?
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Bottom of the totem pole.
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- Dick, I understand how crucial P.E. is.
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I tire out the boys!
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You realize what a bunch of hopped-up boys
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who had full energy would do to this school?
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- I'll get you the parachute.
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Find a way to fix it.
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- If I didn't tire out the boys,
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this school would be rubble by lunch!
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- Remember, people, this is for the bookstore interview.
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Posture. Eye contact.
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And if I get the sense you're not really trying,
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- I like big books, and I cannot lie.
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- I have a 4.125 GPA.
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- Never talk about grades. No one cares.
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They have no impact on life.
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And greatest weakness?
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- My neck. - Very literal.
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- I couldn't even hold my head up until I was five years old.
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- The only job I've ever had
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was babysitting my little brother.
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- Look, you guys are trying to make a good impression here,
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so you're gonna have to straight-up lie.
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If you don't, someone else will, so it's fine.