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Show: Episode: Per page: 🎲 Surprise Me

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Ah, you look like a good crowd.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#80

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Any spice merchants here tonight?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#81

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- I'm a lawyer. - Of the high seas?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#82

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I handle zoning disputes.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#83

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Then I got nothing.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#84

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- [cellphone chimes] - [groans] It's Peter again.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#85

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He's been texting me all night.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#86

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He's so helpless when I'm not around.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#87

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Hey, could you put your phone away? My parents are here tonight.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#88

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Rory gave us grandchildren. Seamus gives us this.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#89

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Well, maybe if you were actually funny, I'd listen.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#90

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Your Davy Jones' Locker bit, thar she blows.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#91

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[crowd] Ooh!

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#92

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If you think it's easy, you should put your treasure

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#93

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- where your mouth is and go next. - No, no, I'm not a comedian.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#94

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I-I could never.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#95

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Oh my gosh, you should do it, Lois.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#96

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You think so?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#97

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Yes, and not just because you're sneezing and coughing

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#98

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and I don't want you next to me.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#99

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I don't know, you really think I'd be good at--

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#100

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[coughing]

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#101

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Just go!

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#102

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Hey... [laughs, snorts]

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#103

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I don't really know what to talk about up here.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#104

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Um, frankly, my whole life is dealing with my idiot husband, Peter.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#105

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I had to chisel his fat ass out of ice today.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#106

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Yeah, who knew a one-inch nub could shrink?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#107

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- [laughter] - That is so true.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#108

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You don't have a man, how would you know?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#109

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When my roommate falls asleep, I crank pornos.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#110

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Most couples have an active sex life.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#111

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Peter has an Activia sex life.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#112

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- [laughter] - Yeah, my husband and I,

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#113

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we enjoyed 20 happy years.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#114

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- Then we met. - [laughter]

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#115

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Ladies, show of hands. Huh?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#116

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How many of you have ever faked an orgasm?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#117

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Okay, now how many of you have ever faked penetration?

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#118

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[laughter]

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#119

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[cheers and applause]

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#120

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Whew, I need a drink.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#121

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Hey, I just want to say I think you're great.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#122

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Look, pal, I know nothing is hotter to a guy

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#123

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than a woman who's funnier than them, but I'm taken.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#124

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I know, I heard your set.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#125

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Those dumb husband jokes crushed.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#126

⇓

Oh, God, it was such a rush up there.

Family Guy
S23E04 — Lois C K
#127

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