🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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Tried to explain to the manager that their staff "pick"
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was feel-good soft-core nonsense.
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Yeah, I happened to gesture with my coffee hand,
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you know, splashed a couple measly drops on the guy.
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He starts throwing the word scalded around--
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"You've scalded me!" Next thing I know,
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this large-calfed tyrant has his troop of baboons
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forcibly eject me.
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British accents weren't exactly taking off anyway.
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We will now focus on taking down the Miles display.
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You will infiltrate the store by getting jobs there
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and changing the staff pick, thereby giving me
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some semblance of sanctuary
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in this chili dump of a town.
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- Did Miles do something to you?
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Did he get you fired from Harvard?
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- No, Miles just has this, um...
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You know, he--he's like-- You know those people that--
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He wears scarves. Indoors, you know what I mean?
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When he smiles it's like, "Ehh..." You know?
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You just wanna-- It's just ehh--
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You know, he's like one of those people.
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Look, do I need to go on, or are you guys getting this?
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- Couldn't you just find a sanctuary
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in a different part of the store?
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That seems easier than lashing out.
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- Does everyone hear him the way I do?
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The grating tone? That's gonna be fatal
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in a job interview, bud.
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- Mr. Griffin, we can't get jobs.
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- Yes, you can! Look, it's easy.
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Couple of you get in, you flip the pic,
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and then quit, for all I care.
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I mean, look, it's a minimum wage job.
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These things are designed to be revolving door.
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So...who here has ever been on a job interview?
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- Once my grandma asked me
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to help her dig onions in the yard.
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- Okay. We're gonna need some practice.
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Hello? - Hey, sorry to interrupt you.
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It's, uh, Principal Durbin from work.
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I was hoping to see you
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in my office when you have a moment?
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Well, you're teaching a class.
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You can't literally mean now.
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- I'm on my way.