🎲 Surprise Me

Results (13329)

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except the last lady Trump appointed,
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are the most boring forces of good ever assembled.
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[narrator] John Roberts.
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Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito.
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Get a visible car, bitch.
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[narrator] Sonya Sotomayor is Aquaman in this, I guess.
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And the Wonder Twins, Barrett and Brown Jackson.
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We hate each other, though.
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[narrator] With their space monkey, Kavanaugh.
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It's me, Peter. [giggles]
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[narrator] They're trying not to die
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until someone from their party is president.
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All right, let's pick a case.
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We've got a bakery that won't bake a cake for a gay wedding,
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a bakery that won't bake a cake for a trans anniversary,
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a bakery that won't bake a cake for a dog's birthday--
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Is it just all people mad about cakes?
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It's mostly cakes, yes.
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Although there is this case, Hometown Buffet v. Peter Griffin.
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If the steaming hot dog water is on the buffet table,
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it is part of the buffet.
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What'll it be, fellas?
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- Three beers. - Sorry, can't. We're all out.
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What? How is that possible?
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"The Kav" drank it all.
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Ugh. Brett Kavanaugh.
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- I hate that guy. - Me, too.
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'Sup, I'm the Kav. Mind if I sit down?
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- Kind of. - Come on, I know my reputation,
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but can't we have one beer?
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- You guys play golf? - Occasionally.
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You ever hit the ball and it doesn't go where you thought it would?
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- Sometimes. - You ever putt and it just, like, misses?
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Yeah, I've missed a putt or two.
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You ever get stuck in a sand trap
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and you can't stop crying
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'cause deep down you know your dad hates you?
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Brett Kavanaugh, you're all right.
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Guys, we got to party together.
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This weekend? Squee's mom's beach house?
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- Sounds epic. - Party at the shore.
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What's the stair situation there?