🎲 Surprise Me

Results (1984)

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You just shot him in the dick.
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I've never seen that. Who does that?
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Look, I'm sorry I called you Rain Man.
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I know I didn't say you were, but you're smart.
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You're a smart guy, and you're thoughtful,
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and you're sincere and you're sweet and you're loyal...
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Are you all right? Should we get you to the hospital, man?
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- Yeah, I think we need to call somebody. - Hey, call somebody!
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I got to get my dick sewn back on.
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- You shut the f*** up. - Hey, you shut up.
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- That's not funny. - Is that it?
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No, we're not picking up your dick.
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They don't serve vegan in jail, bitch.
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I know you wanted a guy to trust, and I wanted to be that person so badly.
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And I let you down in a lot of ways.
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It's good that you're mad at me.
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I think it's good. I think you should be mad at more guys,
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because you deserve a guy who's good and who doesn't lie to you.
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And you should never settle for less than that.
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There are good guys out there
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who aren't assholes like me.
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We're, like, in the end of Die Hard right now, but it's our actual life.
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- Number one or two? - Three.
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- Sam Jackson one. Yeah! - Sam Jackson style.
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Boom, motherf***ers! What's going on? Come on!
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Where is he? There's my guy!
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There he is! That's him. That's him.
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- Enough. - Too long on the hug.
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Congratulations, you crazy, sick, vigilante motherf***ers.