🎲 Surprise Me

Results (1403)

afb747fb-1788-4f04-a0dc-d9b7cffa4730.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1105
⇓
c181d14c-ad9e-4d95-a8a0-ed658007efaa.gif
I still remember the good old days, yeah.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1106
⇓
e6c410ac-7e2c-4634-a53a-73b83062ce4a.gif
Yeah, I have old VHS tapes back here,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1107
⇓
023e3938-abc3-4902-895b-4eb8ff0ee1e9.gif
and they're a little grainy, but if I close my eyes,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1108
⇓
53d68895-9e9f-4ac7-820c-bf10f9e60964.gif
I can still see those sweet, sweet angels from my twenties
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1109
⇓
56571942-d39a-451a-b4ed-7cefeba6ec6f.gif
who made sounds like they were fighting for their life.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1110
⇓
884db8b0-a23b-43e4-a1b9-590dab12b896.gif
You know, just…
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1111
⇓
6bd61477-025d-4cac-bea1-c8b6da95c7b0.gif
[retching]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1112
⇓
b4341370-fd44-4ed3-8b05-53fa66f2bbbb.gif
[hoarse gagging]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1113
⇓
24335081-68a1-4d77-8858-1a505490c30d.gif
You know those blow jobs where you almost stop to see if she's okay?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1114
⇓
a1d4063c-f73d-4709-ba69-d8674d963ae9.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1115
⇓
ce94607d-69ea-4831-afd7-89f218b9c3d0.gif
You don't, 'cause you don't care.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1116
⇓
e5eaadb5-0223-4e71-93cd-2df96dd5035b.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1117
⇓
19147e53-3dc3-41d8-958d-139802b43338.gif
You're like, "I like that you're suffering. This is cool."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1118
⇓
0fdd729c-8706-4385-b53a-b8fc27d22e2d.gif
[mimics spitting]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1119
⇓
7e259c77-4c58-41cb-a0fd-d1a0f52ca151.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1120
⇓
77fe2862-0dea-43f5-a778-c4c69cf1ac8e.gif
What, you don't have memories? Okay.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1121
⇓
23e64a2f-67d4-4d92-991e-909985825c59.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1122
⇓
f3160dac-6e43-4d0e-ae56-4c3edcda29a7.gif
[Tom sighs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1123
⇓
7dd48ff3-a3f3-4b61-a177-230fb59f4176.gif
I like a finger up the butt.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1124
⇓
f373b7ea-7eae-4b97-b50a-6541a98dcab6.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1125
⇓
50d2e003-19f2-4262-a167-3bfe152816d9.gif
Let's be clear. I don't want to be excavated, okay?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1126
⇓
2d626c7a-af47-4223-b4a0-bb9ed03f52a9.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1127
⇓
d375ea72-2d6c-4c68-bffa-17aacf4c1d1b.gif
I just like a little, you know…
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1128
⇓
b8392b7c-f9b0-46ab-88b2-e0f20650cf10.gif
A little Steve Aoki. "What's this button do?"
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1129
⇓
8e34dcda-1129-4ea1-a5e1-426b41c5cb6d.gif
[making DJ mixtape noises]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1130
⇓
df59c86f-b727-4d86-8edf-db09034324de.gif
Prime the pump, don't frack the crack. You're with me, right?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1131
⇓
6147723d-9957-4482-b0e1-1d73a2919f85.gif
Yeah. You like that, sir?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1132
⇓
1e3a01c3-798b-41d4-8b68-f89c5695bf43.gif
Yes.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1133
⇓
7610aa0c-5622-416c-a2ea-99b0a73b6939.gif
The 'stache gives it away. I knew you were in.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1134
⇓
a9001637-6603-4325-a12c-28c481d1ec77.gif
You?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1135
⇓
2bc2905d-8859-4d39-936c-7bc064d915d6.gif
Fuck yeah, all the culture's up front.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1136
⇓
871b9a1d-167a-480e-b007-6fc97bbae674.gif
I polled my entire inner circle of close friends,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1137
⇓
82ca1cd2-6945-4f82-9789-d50e03829b55.gif
and they were all like, "Fuck, no."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1138
⇓
9e0be5a5-d687-46a8-a5bb-b0049ac125da.gif
"I don't like that. That shit is gay."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1139
⇓
69313406-7957-409a-a664-00ac6a4c0ae2.gif
And I was like, "Well, have you ever considered trying it with a woman?"
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1140
⇓
de308bab-6641-4eab-94d6-b5df9d61748a.gif
[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1141
⇓
20e3cf39-dd0b-453b-8b5a-772350b3ce19.gif
That's not gay.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1142
⇓
747e8c9c-6189-4b02-a828-de2c7d5893e2.gif
Maybe stop having your brother do it, weirdo, and…
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1143
⇓
866e1625-63a1-4bf4-ba90-7bd2ab967c6b.gif
"Hurry up before dad gets home."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1144
⇓
c6ae3620-2613-41b7-92af-59aa8be28501.gif
[crowd laughing]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1145
⇓
09d092f6-8285-4c48-84c8-4588491cbd34.gif
This is what you learn over the course of a lifetime about sex.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1146
⇓
38f3fc8b-5bec-4ebe-946e-bf62fa77069d.gif
You learn that men and women, we both lie about sex.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1147
⇓
7ea82151-00c7-40b0-bba9-ece08297fd85.gif
We just lie in opposite directions.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1148
⇓
6c3ed11c-ef5c-40cf-89b0-ca7768af251e.gif
Men exaggerate their exploits and their interests
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1149
⇓
27f1a7dd-02e1-40f0-a1af-16de89bb606e.gif
simply because they live to impress women.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1150
⇓
197eb5ed-5c6f-487e-9f9c-a2680ca372a5.gif
It's the truth. It's stupid, and it's simple, and it's true.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1151
⇓
b2593e92-7669-4cad-9119-79da2381cfa9.gif
Every woman in here, at some point, you'll meet a guy like, "I like it all."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#1152
⇓