🎲 Surprise Me

Results (1403)

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without the burden of reading, you know?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#721
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And so I've lost track. I've seen so many now.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#722
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Sometimes they're quite informative.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#723
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Other times they're just amusing.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#724
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I mean, the funniest thing I've seen in a year
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#725
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is a Netflix documentary series called Untold,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#726
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which focuses on sports stories, yeah.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#727
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And there's one in particular on there.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#728
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It's about a guy named Johnny Manziel.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#729
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-Now… -[scattered whooping]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#730
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If you're in this theater and you do not know who Johnny Manziel is,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#731
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I will now use my time to tell you.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#732
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[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#733
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Johnny Manziel is the first and only redshirt freshman
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#734
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to win the Heisman Trophy.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#735
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That's the highest honor in college football.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#736
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It goes to the nation's best player.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#737
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Redshirt freshman simply means
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#738
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he was 18 months removed from high school
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#739
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when he didn't just play this sport, he dominated it.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#740
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And when you watch this documentary, you will learn that he did this
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#741
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while mostly high and drunk. Like, pretty fucked up.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#742
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[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#743
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The best is they interview all his former shit-kicking Texas-based coaches,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#744
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who are like, "Yeah, man, he would come to practice. He'd be all shit-faced."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#745
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And we would say, "Johnny, you better not fuck this up."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#746
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"And then he didn't. He was awesome." And you're like, wait, what?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#747
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-[crowd laughs] -[Tom scoffing]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#748
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He was playing nationally televised games every Saturday with millions of viewers,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#749
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either drunk, high, or hungover, just on the sidelines.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#750
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[retching]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#751
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And his coaches are like, "Johnny!"
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#752
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And he was like, "Watch this shit, six touchdowns."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#753
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You're like, "Holy shit!"
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#754
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"Give him more drugs. This is working."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#755
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He wins the Heisman.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#756
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Sophomore year, he comes back, he's trying new things,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#757
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he's sprinkling dust on his shit, you know?
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#758
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He's evolving. He plays amazing.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#759
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Again, he almost wins it back-to-back.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#760
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Then he goes into the NFL to play professionally.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#761
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And they're like, "You need to clean up your act."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#762
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And he was like, "I don't wanna play football anymore."
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#763
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And… that's the whole story.
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#764
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Now…
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#765
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[crowd laughs]
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#766
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To me, his story is more than that,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#767
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because for me, in my personal life,
Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
S01E01 — Tom Segura: Teacher (2025)
#768
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