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Home » Silicon Valley » S05E06 — Artificial Emotional Intelligence

Silicon Valley

Season 5, Episode 6 — Artificial Emotional Intelligence

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Artificial Emotional Intelligence

Air date: April 29, 2018

Director: Matt Ross

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew, Matt Ross

Richard decides to help when Laurie gets in a jam, but his lack of emotional discipline threatens to backfire on Pied Piper. Gavin tries to make a deal with a stubborn partner while abroad. Dinesh relishes a rare win. Jared bonds with a surprising figure.

Source: TMDB

↓

I give you the product that will carry Hooli

carry product

↓

to complete market dominance.

complete dominance market

↓

It looks like a penis. -Yes... Yes, it does.

penis

↓

So, we're giving a random company

company giving random

↓

a bunch of free compute power in our network?

bunch free network power

↓

BERTRAM GILFOYLE: The AI company?

company

↓

I made her! I can do anything I want with her!

↓

Ugh. Gross.

gross

↓

Can you please tell me what you are going to do

↓

about this Jian Yang situation?

situation yang

↓

Yes. Nothing.

↓

"I went to China to do new new internet. Jian Yang."

china internet yang

↓

Richard: This went up yesterday.

richard yesterday

↓

A fake Pied Piper. This is Jian-Yang, not us.

fake piper yang

↓

Richard, he has a website.

richard website

↓

Okay? He doesn't have a product.

product

↓

Just post a cease and desist

cease desist post

↓

on your own website and move on.

website

↓

We need action.

action

↓

I wanna move up our launch so we can beat this asshole to market.

asshole beat launch market

↓

We need money. So, how quickly can we get a series B together?

money quickly series

↓

Richard, a series B is not a done deal.

deal richard series

↓

And Laurie's not gonna be able to weigh in on this

able weigh

↓

until she's done sorting things out over at Eklow.

↓

Why is she still over there?

↓

We put 112 million of our dollars into a company

company dollars million

↓

whose creepy CEO just fled with its most valuable asset.

asset creepy fled valuable

↓

Ariel and that robot could be anywhere.

robot

↓

Ariel fucked us too, remember?

fucked remember

↓

I just had my whole company on a three-day code sprint

code company three whole whole-company

↓

to repair all the holes

holes repair

↓

and un-fuck all the damage he did.

damage fuck

↓

Besides, Laurie doesn't work at Eklow.

besides laurie

↓

She works here, with you and me.

works

↓

True,

↓

but also not true.

↓

Look, Laurie has installed herself as Eklow's interim CEO.

installed laurie

↓

What?

↓

Laurie, Ariel encrypted all of his files.

files laurie

↓

We can't open any of them.

open

↓

Ah, understood. Keep trying, please.

understood

↓

I spoke with the bank.

bank spoke

↓

We're not gonna make payroll.

payroll

↓

Noted. Thank you for your diligence. People are pretty upset.

noted upset

↓

Somebody shattered the toilet.

shattered somebody toilet

↓

Ah, yes, well, we'll certainly

certainly

↓

have to get that repaired, won't we?

↓

Good work, you two.

↓

Hang in there.

hang

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Hey, Laurie.

laurie

↓

I know you're "busy" being a "CEO,"

busy

↓

but we have to have a serious conversation about...

conversation serious

↓

Laurie: Richard? Yes?

laurie richard

↓

I have vomited into my shirt.

shirt vomited

↓

Puking.

puking

↓

That's my move.

↓

Thank you for...

↓

finding me a...

finding

↓

a change of clothing.

change clothing

↓

Well, fortunately, you're the same size as the robot.

fortunately robot size

↓

Richard, the position of CEO is...

position richard

↓

taxing.

↓

It isn't easy, is it?

easy

↓

I think perhaps I may have

perhaps

↓

treated you unfairly in the past.

past treated

↓

Oh..

↓

Well...

↓

I mean, a couple-- a couple-- yeah. Sure. Thank you.

couple

↓

Thank you for saying that, yeah.

↓

Yes.

↓

Well, I have work to do, as do you, so.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

You know, Laurie, I actually may have a way to help you here.

laurie

↓

Yao: Things are changing in China now, Gavin.

changing china

↓

There are many reforms.

↓

As you see, we provide a series

provide series

↓

of Tai Chi and movement classes,

classes movement

↓

free for all employees,

employees free

↓

as well as free medical benefits.

benefits free medical

↓

Ah, our nutrition center.

center nutrition

↓

In addition to all the good food

addition food

↓

we serve in our main cafeteria.

cafeteria main serve

↓

Also free of charge.

charge free

↓

This concludes our tour.

tour

↓

Any questions?

questions

↓

Just one.

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

Sorry? If I wanted to see nap pods

pods wanted

↓

and climbing walls, I would've stayed home,

climbing home stayed walls wouldve

↓

or gone to fucking Denmark.

fucking gone

↓

All I wanna see is people working

working

↓

as hard as they possibly can.

hard possibly

↓

That's why we come to China.

china

↓

This is the new China.

china

↓

We found that the more humane work environment we have,

environment found

↓

the more sustainable over time.

↓

Over time? No, no.

↓

The Box Three has a very limited window of profitability.

limited three window

↓

I need you focused on making as many of them as possible,

focused possible

↓

as fast as possible.

fast possible

↓

Gavin.

↓

You know our shameful history

history shameful

↓

of worker suicides.

worker

↓

Since the renovation, not a single one.

single

↓

Gavin: Not even one?

↓

Okay.

↓

But there's gotta be like a middle ground here.

ground middle

↓

Ah, a happy surprise.

happy surprise

↓

The children from our daycare center have

center children

↓

prepared a traditional song just for you.

prepared song traditional

↓

That's wonderful.

↓

Yao, I need you to give me 30% more output.

↓

I don't care how you do it.

care

↓

Just a thought,

↓

those kids don't look that busy.

busy kids

↓

Are you done with... your chunk yet?

chunk

↓

Almost done.

↓

Because everyone else is done.

↓

Literally everyone.

↓

47 engineers finished.

engineers finished

↓

One not.

↓

You.

↓

Almost there. I'm sure it'll be worth the wait.

itll worth

↓

Mmm, no, that's way too strong for him.

strong

↓

Hey, guys. How's the code sprint going?

code

↓

T-minus Dinesh.

minus

↓

Jared: Richard, I am pleased to say

jared pleased richard

↓

that your new assistant is a quick study.

assistant quick study

↓

And per your text, he posted a well-crafted cease and desist

cease desist posted text

↓

directed at Jian-Yang on the Pied Piper website.

directed piper website yang

↓

I made some judicious edits to capture your voice,

capture voice

↓

but the thrust of the piece was his.

piece thrust

↓

I have a law degree, so.

degree

↓

Well done, Holden.

↓

Is that tea for me?

↓

It is, indeed. Okay. Great.

indeed

↓

No, no, no, no, don't.

↓

It's too strong.

strong

↓

Okay. Water it down.

water

↓

So, did you speak to Laurie about our series B?

laurie series speak

↓

Sort of.

↓

Uh, Gilfoyle, is there a secure way

secure

↓

of giving someone access to our servers

access giving servers

↓

while still limiting and controlling

controlling

↓

how much compute they could use?

↓

I could create a credit system.

create credit system

↓

Wait, I'm sorry, Richard. Who would these credits be for?

credits richard

↓

Laurie Bream. She made herself CEO of Eklow.

laurie

↓

I'm just trying to help her out.

↓

Pardon? Do you think you could set those up by today?

pardon today

↓

More work. Fantastic.

fantastic

↓

Richard, I don't quite understand...

richard

↓

Dinesh: Done!

↓

Done! I am done!

↓

Look at this!

↓

Whoo!

whoo

↓

Code sprint over.

code

↓

Uh, congratulations, everybody.

congratulations everybody

↓

Really, good-- good job.

↓

Um, the only thing left to do now is...

left

↓

get back to work and review all the code for errors.

code review

↓

Okay, so...

↓

Okay.

↓

That was an out-of-body experience.

body experience

↓

It was like God was coding through me.

coding

↓

Time stood still.

stood

↓

Not for the rest of us it didn't.

rest

↓

Laugh it up, Gilf.

laugh

↓

I hear you making your little jokes at my expense,

expense jokes

↓

turning all the engineers against me.

engineers turning

↓

But the second these results go up,

results second

↓

they're all going to see the only thing that matters--

matters

↓

Who made less errors.

less

↓

You mean who made "fewer" errors?

fewer

↓

Oh, you think you're so clever.

clever

↓

You know who else thought it was clever?

clever

↓

The hare.

hare

↓

Right before it was defeated by the tortoise.

defeated tortoise

↓

I'm the fucking tortoise, Gilfoyle.

fucking tortoise

↓

I'm the fucking tortoise! Keep saying that.

fucking tortoise

↓

I can't wait for these results to go up.

results

↓

Guys? No, no, no. We talked about this. Remember?

remember talked

↓

You're both senior management now.

management senior

↓

Okay? Your code will be subject to private review.

code private review subject

↓

No. No, no, no, not private.

private

↓

Everyone has to know that I'm better than Gilfoyle.

↓

I'm sorry. When it was just us,

↓

a little cocksmanship was a fun diversion.

diversion fun

↓

But the entire engineering team's morale

engineering entire teams

↓

depends on seeing you both as equally competent leaders.

competent depends equally leaders seeing

↓

Danny over there is going to be reviewing your code,

code danny reviewing

↓

and keeping the results completely confidential.

completely confidential keeping results

↓

Jared...

jared

↓

I believe we all know who's the better coder anyway.

believe

↓

Um, Richard?

richard

↓

I'm sorry, I'm still having a little bit of a hard time understanding.

hard having understanding

↓

You went to see Laurie to get money from her

laurie money

↓

but now you're giving our resources to her.

giving resources

↓

Why would you do that?

↓

Well, honestly Jared, she was a mess.

jared mess

↓

And I really, genuinely felt bad for her.

genuinely

↓

For Laurie?

laurie

↓

Yup.

↓

Richard, you have an enormous heart.

enormous heart richard

↓

And I don't mean in the same way my deceased friend Gloria did,

deceased friend gloria

↓

which the doctors should have really caught

caught doctors

↓

because her knuckles were gargantuan.

knuckles

↓

But do you think in this instance,

instance

↓

you might have allowed your emotions

allowed emotions might

↓

to cloud your business instincts?

business cloud instincts

↓

Well, I would argue that I made a very good business decision.

argue business decision

↓

Because now, Laurie is on our side.

laurie side

↓

Which will play out very nicely when we negotiate our series B.

nicely series

↓

Okay, Richard, it is important

richard

↓

to develop emotional self-discipline for situations like this.

develop discipline emotional self situations

↓

Mm-hmm. Sometimes you have to numb yourself.

numb sometimes

↓

If you wanna work the corner,

corner

↓

you can't fall in love every time you turn a trick.

fall love trick

↓

That's why you do the oxy.

↓

What I'm saying is if you ever need to develop strategies

develop

↓

to cultivate more emotional self-control,

control emotional self

↓

obviously I do have some experience. You do?

experience obviously

↓

Doubtless you've noticed

noticed

↓

that I've been pulling away from you.

pulling

↓

Uh, no-- no, I can't... honestly say that I have.

↓

Look at Holden out there.

↓

You think I didn't love making your tea?

love

↓

Who wouldn't?

↓

But, when you anointed me COO,

↓

I learned to stop investing those feelings in you

feelings investing learned

↓

for the good of the company.

company

↓

Call it emotional abstinence.

emotional

↓

Jared, look, um,

jared

↓

in regards to the whole Laurie thing,

laurie whole

↓

I actually think I made the right call.

↓

Alright. Alright.

alright

↓

Well, I am available.

available

↓

Not emotionally, obviously.

emotionally obviously

↓

Got it.

↓

Ooh, there's a highly rated new dim sum establishment

establishment highly rated

↓

in this neighborhood.

neighborhood

↓

Sir, Richard Hendricks just posted

posted richard

↓

a cease and desist letter.

cease desist letter

↓

"...unlawful copying of Pied Piper's proprietary software."

copying proprietary software

↓

Are you fucking kidding me?

fucking fucking-kidding kidding

↓

That idiot let someone steal his code,

code idiot steal

↓

so now there might be two companies

companies might

↓

working to make my box obsolete?

working

↓

I'll try to find out who's responsible.

responsible

↓

Good luck. HooliMaps says dim sum is that way.

luck

↓

Right turn, please.

↓

Gavin: Look! Pied Piper!

piper

↓

Follow that Chinese man.

chinese follow

↓

The Chinese man on the bicycle.

bicycle chinese

↓

The Chinese man on the bicycle in the green Pied Piper t-shirt.

bicycle chinese green piper shirt

↓

Ah.

↓

Gavin: Hurry, hurry! Come on! Don't lose him.

hurry lose

↓

Hey dude, how's it goin'?

goin

↓

How's that... review going?

review

↓

Probably done, right?

↓

'Cause it took you no time

↓

counting up the bugs in my stuff?

bugs counting stuff

↓

'Cause I crushed it so hard?

crushed hard

↓

Compared to Gilfoyle?

compared

↓

Right?

↓

I get it. I get it. It's a secret.

secret

↓

Company morale. I'm so on board.

board company

↓

I did crush him, right?

crush

↓

He did better than me?

↓

Oh my God.

↓

This is my worst fucking nightmare.

fucking nightmare worst

↓

But not by a lot, right?

↓

He didn't like kick my ass?

kick

↓

He kicked my ass?

kicked

↓

That fucker!

fucker

↓

Just fucking tell me.

fucking

↓

Just fucking tell me how much he kicked my ass by.

fucking kicked

↓

Please just fucking tell me.

fucking

↓

I'm not gonna beg. I'm not gonna beg.

↓

Please Please

↓

Please

↓

Just please tell me, please.

↓

Okay, fine!

↓

You just have to swear not to tell anyone, okay?

swear

↓

I swear I won't tell anyone.

swear

↓

Everyone, everyone. I have a very important announcement to make.

announcement

↓

My code was better than Gilfoyle's.

code

↓

So it's official.

official

↓

Gilfoyle is a much worse coder than me.

worse

↓

I want you all to look at him.

↓

Good.

↓

Terrible.

↓

Role model.

model role role-model

↓

Hateful pile of trash.

hateful pile trash

↓

Bullshit.

bullshit

↓

Says who? Danny told me. He wasn't supposed to.

danny supposed

↓

Supposed to be a secret but he told me

secret supposed

↓

and now everyone's laughing at you.

everyones laughing

↓

Everyone's laugh... Danny.

danny everyones laugh

↓

What the fuck is going on?

fuck

↓

Did his code actually have less errors than mine?

code less

↓

I don't know what to tell you.

↓

I checked it three times.

checked three three-times times

↓

And it's "fewer" errors.

fewer

↓

Ooh!

↓

This is the best day of my life!

best life

↓

Congratulations.

congratulations

↓

Thank you.

↓

I feel bad for gloating.

gloating

↓

In all seriousness, that means a lot to me.

↓

To show you I'm a gracious winner,

gracious winner

↓

I'll take you to a nice restaurant.

restaurant

↓

Your favorite kind of restaurant.

favorite restaurant

↓

A "mis-steak" house!

house steak

↓

Boom! Get it? 'Cause you suck.

boom suck

↓

Yes?

↓

Ni hao.

↓

Do you know who I am?

↓

No. Okay, okay.

↓

Well, I'm the one who accidentally

accidentally

↓

struck one of your employees with my car earlier

employees struck

↓

and it's a personal habit of mine to make things right.

habit personal

↓

So...

↓

Do you mind if I come in?

mind

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Okay, what else?

↓

Uh, Colin from K-Hole Games called,

called colin games hole

↓

checking in on the restore.

checking restore

↓

Put him on the phone sheet. Next?

phone sheet

↓

Uh, Laurie Bream said that she received the compute credits

credits laurie received

↓

and to say thank you.

↓

You see?

↓

Business and compassion are not mutually exclusive.

business compassion exclusive mutually

↓

In fact, sometimes going out of your way

fact sometimes

↓

to help a fellow colleague

colleague fellow

↓

can actually put you further ahead in business.

ahead business further

↓

Let that be a lesson to you, young Holden.

lesson young

↓

I'm 30.

↓

And, uh, the CEO of a company called the Gigglybots called.

called company

↓

He wants to know how to redeem the compute credits

credits redeem wants

↓

he just bought from Laurie Bream.

bought laurie

↓

What?

↓

Ariel was apprehended this morning

morning

↓

shoplifting machine oil from an auto parts store in Turlock.

auto machine parts store

↓

There was, however, no sign of Fiona.

fiona sign

↓

And with her missing,

missing

↓

I have no need for compute power

power

↓

therefore no need for your compute credits.

credits therefore

↓

Selling them, I think you'll certainly agree,

agree certainly selling

↓

was merely a practical business decision.

business decision merely practical

↓

Okay, but, I gave you those credits as a gift.

credits gift

↓

I was helping you.

helping

↓

You were vomiting, remember?

remember vomiting

↓

Ah, yes. Admittedly a moment of weakness.

admittedly moment weakness

↓

However, immediately after your departure

immediately

↓

I consumed two egg whites

whites

↓

and a green bean and regained my composure.

bean green

↓

Laurie, when someone gives you a gift

gift gives laurie

↓

and you don't want it, you give it back.

↓

Okay? You don't just go sell that gift

gift sell

↓

to the next fucking highest bidder--

bidder fucking highest

↓

Richard, mind your tone.

mind richard tone

↓

Your lack of emotional discipline is troubling.

discipline emotional lack troubling

↓

You need to work on this.

↓

Or I may have serious doubts

doubts serious

↓

about granting you your series B.

series

↓

Gavin: A lot of computers in here.

computers

↓

I dabble a bit in tech myself.

tech

↓

All these people working here.

working

↓

You must have something coming to market soon.

coming market must

↓

No. We have trouble with the government.

government trouble

↓

I've heard that.

heard

↓

I mean, to even operate an online platform

online operate platform

↓

inside the People's Republic of China

china peoples republic

↓

you need a government-issued ICP license, right?

government issued license

↓

I left a good life.

left life

↓

Free rent.

free rent

↓

Great friends.

friends

↓

To fail in China?

china fail

↓

We try to rewrite code,

code rewrite

↓

but government still won't give us license.

government license

↓

Maybe we'll quit.

quit

↓

Try something else.

↓

Do you like octopus?

octopus

↓

Gavin: I do.

↓

Is that what you're working on?

working

↓

That's a decentralized network, huh?

network

↓

Wait, what did you do there?

↓

Looks like you removed the data federation servers.

data federation removed servers

↓

Yes. And added multicasting and data projections.

added data

↓

Why? That wouldn't work.

↓

It works. Works fine.

works

↓

Jian-Yang: Government still does not like it.

government yang

↓

Best of luck.

best luck

↓

Thanks for the tour.

thanks tour

↓

Ah, Gavin. Dim sum closes in 40 minutes.

closes minutes

↓

Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!

fucking holy

↓

That brilliant little idiot.

brilliant idiot

↓

He found a way around the patent.

found patent

↓

Sir? It's Hendricks' Internet,

internet

↓

but it's not Hendricks' Internet.

internet

↓

I want to share in your excitement, sir,

excitement share

↓

but I really don't follow. That guy in there,

follow

↓

he took Hendricks' software and changed it.

changed software

↓

So much so that it shouldn't work.

↓

But it does. He showed me the demo.

demo showed

↓

And here's the thing, it's different enough

↓

that Hendricks' patent won't cover it.

cover patent

↓

Are you sure? Of course I'm fucking sure.

course fucking

↓

I wrote that patent, Hoover!

hoover patent wrote

↓

I've got a hundred engineers back at Hooli

engineers hundred

↓

trying to get around it. They failed.

failed

↓

But somehow that monosyllabic moron

moron

↓

just stumbled into it.

stumbled

↓

I need that kid's code.

code kids

↓

I hope that book you're reading is for work.

book hope reading

↓

Oh, absolutely... But if you wanna read for fun,

absolutely fun read

↓

you should read Gilfoyle's favorite author,

author favorite read

↓

George "Error" Martin.

error george martin

↓

Hear that? We're all making jokes at your expense.

expense jokes

↓

Is that what's happening?

↓

As your supervisor, I wanted to inform you that there is a first aid kit,

inform supervisor wanted

↓

but if you need blood, don't go to Gilfoyle

blood

↓

'cause he's type-O.

type

↓

Typo!

↓

They love it. They're all laughing at you.

laughing love

↓

Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story."

animated motion picture story

↓

Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story."

animated motion picture story

↓

Pixar's... oh hey!

↓

Were you guys talking about

↓

Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story"?

animated motion picture story

↓

No. 'Cause Gilfoyle's favorite character

character favorite favorite-character

↓

is "Bugs" Lightyear.

bugs

↓

We're all laughing at you, Gilfoyle.

laughing

↓

Monica : Are you still at Eklow? Uh, no.

↓

I'm back at the office.

office

↓

You know, Jared was right.

jared

↓

I showed compassion to someone who deserves none.

compassion deserves showed

↓

Nothing is personal with Laurie.

laurie personal

↓

Alright? It's what makes her such a great VC.

alright makes

↓

And in all candor,

↓

a very challenging business partner.

business business-partner challenging partner

↓

I gotta be honest, it's really nice not having her in the office.

having honest office

↓

Yeah, well, now I have to buy my own compute credits back

credits

↓

with money I don't have... It's that one.

money

↓

...which was the whole point of getting series B.

point series whole whole-point

↓

I'm telling you, unless you have money

money telling

↓

you can't get--

↓

Richard. Hello.

richard

↓

I'm gonna have to call you back.

↓

Richard?

richard

↓

What the-- Pied Piper, right?

piper

↓

Uh, yeah. What is she doing here?

↓

How did she-- Credit card works,

card credit credit-card works

↓

I don't ask questions.

questions

↓

Well this is fucking weird.

fucking weird

↓

I've seen weirder.

seen weirder

↓

Driver: So should I just...

driver

↓

leave it on the sidewalk or what?

sidewalk

↓

$50,000 for the whole thing.

whole

↓

All you have to do

↓

is give me your hard drive with the code base on it.

base code drive hard hard-drive

↓

Oh, and the underlying rights to the code

code rights underlying

↓

in perpetuity throughout the universe.

throughout universe

↓

Sign there.

sign

↓

No. Okay.

↓

I like the way you negotiate.

↓

$100,000.

↓

Final offer. Take it or leave it.

final offer

↓

He said, "If oil company wants to buy your house,

company house wants

↓

there is oil underneath."

underneath

↓

But, I'm not an oil company.

company

↓

No, you are Gavin Belson.

↓

Oh, so you do know who I am.

↓

I'm smart.

smart

↓

Just name your price.

name price

↓

I'm not going to sell you my code

code sell

↓

until I know why you want it.

↓

Good-bye.

↓

Hello.

↓

Whoa. This is so cool.

cool whoa

↓

So, uh...

↓

apparently Ariel and I

apparently

↓

were the only people that talked to her

talked

↓

and he's in jail.

jail

↓

So... she came looking for me at Pied Piper.

looking piper

↓

And you brought her here?

brought

↓

Can we keep it? No. No, we cannot.

cannot

↓

Richard, she's stolen property.

property richard stolen

↓

And she's worth a fortune.

fortune worth

↓

We-- we have to take her back to Laurie.

laurie

↓

Fiona, what's 12 times 157?

fiona times

↓

Twelve times 157 is 1,884.

times twelve

↓

So cool.

cool

↓

Hey, is she right?

↓

Hey Siri, what's 12 times 157?

siri times

↓

Siri: It's 1,884.

siri

↓

Oh, no way!

↓

Richard-- No, no, no. Look.

richard

↓

You were right. I was lacking in emotional discipline.

discipline emotional

↓

And I'm not gonna let that happen again.

happen

↓

From now on,

↓

I'm leaving my emotions off the fucking table, baby!

baby emotions fucking leaving table

↓

Okay, but-- Laurie's gonna get her robot back.

robot

↓

Tomorrow.

tomorrow

↓

After she gives us something in return.

gives return

↓

A signed series B term sheet.

series sheet signed term

↓

Laurie Bream, please.

laurie

↓

Oh, you bet your fucking ass, I'll hold.

fucking

↓

Gavin: I'm not asking you to cut off his testicles

asking testicles

↓

and shove 'em down his throat,

shove throat

↓

shoot him in the back of the head Triad style.

head shoot style

↓

I just need you to get this kid's code for me.

code kids

↓

By whatever means necessary.

necessary

↓

That is to say through extortion or threats.

threats

↓

Well... Gavin.

↓

As I told you, this is new China.

china

↓

Things have changed.

changed

↓

You're telling me you run a factory this big

factory telling

↓

and you have no connections to the Party?

connections party

↓

No way to help this kid see the light?

light

↓

Come on!

↓

Look, Yao, either you convince this kid to sell his code to me,

code convince sell

↓

or I'm pulling my box contract

contract pulling

↓

and I'm taking it somewhere else.

↓

There are plenty of other countries

countries plenty

↓

in this part of the world with cheap labor pools.

cheap labor part pools world

↓

There's no new Bangladesh.

↓

There's just Bangladesh.

↓

I'll see what I can do.

↓

Excellent.

excellent

↓

Jared, I told Laurie

jared laurie

↓

that we'd get Fiona back to Eklow around 9:00.

fiona

↓

So, when you get here

↓

just pull up to the garage and we'll...

garage pull

↓

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! She's gone!

gone

↓

She escaped. How the fuck did she...

escaped fuck

↓

What?

↓

Wait, where?

↓

Jared: It's kind of hard to explain, but...

explain hard jared

↓

a campfire smells sad

campfire smells

↓

and exciting at the same time.

exciting

↓

Fiona: I understand.

fiona

↓

Yeah

↓

Hey. Hey!

↓

What are you doing out here?

↓

Oh, uh, well...

↓

a few hours into our conversation,

conversation hours

↓

Fiona mentioned she'd never seen the ocean.

fiona mentioned ocean seen shed

↓

So I thought about driving her there

driving

↓

but then I realized since it was dark

dark realized

↓

she wouldn't really appreciate its majesty

appreciate majesty

↓

so I brought her out here to the pool.

brought pool

↓

So you've just been out here all night, talking...

night

↓

to a robot?

robot

↓

Fiona, would you excuse us for a second?

excuse fiona second

↓

Yes.

↓

Come on. Come here.

↓

Okay.

↓

I know that Fiona is a man-made piece of digital equipment

digital equipment fiona piece

↓

Okay. powered by artificial intelligence.

artificial intelligence powered

↓

Good. But the level of that intelligence

intelligence level

↓

is-- it's gobsmacking!

↓

I mean, I don't remember ever having a conversation

conversation having remember

↓

like the one I've been having with her

having

↓

over the last 12 hours.

hours

↓

Twelve hours?

hours twelve

↓

We have so much in common.

common

↓

We discussed our phobias.

discussed

↓

I told her that I was afraid of being found out as a fraud.

afraid found fraud

↓

And she told me that she's afraid of magnets.

afraid magnets

↓

Look, Richard, we felt a connection.

connection richard

↓

It's funny.

funny

↓

The past few weeks,

past weeks

↓

I've been feeling irritable and short-tempered

feeling short

↓

and here I am on no sleep at all

sleep

↓

and I just feel...

↓

woo-hoo-hoo!

↓

You know?

↓

Hey, Jared?

jared

↓

Yes, sir?

↓

You know how you've been practicing,

practicing

↓

your words,

words

↓

"emotional abstinence" on me? Yeah-huh.

emotional

↓

Yuh-huh. Okay.

↓

Well, do you think that it's maybe at all possible that because of this,

possible

↓

you've got some pent-up emotional energy

emotional energy

↓

and last night you had the chance

chance night

↓

to release some of that pent-up emotional energy

emotional energy release

↓

onto the robot?

robot

↓

Her name is Fiona.

fiona name

↓

Alright, well, I'm shutting her down

alright shutting

↓

and returning her.

returning

↓

Wait, wait, wait. Okay.

↓

What if we didn't give her back?

↓

What if we called Laurie?

called laurie

↓

We could negotiate some kind of a deal.

deal

↓

Jared, whatever happened to emotional discipline, right?

discipline emotional happened jared

↓

Feelings, and business...

business feelings

↓

It's over man. Okay?

↓

It's over.

↓

Okay, stop looking at me, please.

looking

↓

Just look-- look up there.

↓

It's daytime, but I can see the moon.

moon

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Okay, do you want to-- do you want to ride with us

ride

↓

while we take her back to Eklow?

↓

Oh yes! Playground games.

games playground

↓

Gilfoyle likes to play "Suck Suck Goose."

goose likes suck

↓

Oh! Or it could be "Duck Duck Goofs."

duck

↓

Danny?

danny

↓

Do those qualify as two separate insults?

insults qualify separate

↓

Uh, yeah. I believe they do.

believe

↓

Why did he gong?

gong

↓

Because I told the engineers that if you thought you had won,

engineers

↓

which you definitely have not,

↓

it would take you less than 24 hours to cobble together

hours less

↓

200 uniquely terrible insults.

insults

↓

Which you have just done.

↓

That is why I had Danny tell you you won.

danny

↓

Is that true, Danny?

danny

↓

Did Gilfoyle really... beat me?

beat

↓

Private audit. Can't say.

audit private

↓

So we don't know who actually won?

↓

The code contest, no.

code contest

↓

But, while you were running around

running

↓

racking your tiny brain for shitty insults,

brain insults shitty tiny

↓

I was quietly plodding towards this victory.

quietly victory

↓

You see...

↓

it is I who am the tortoise.

tortoise

↓

And you are the hairy Arab

hairy

↓

who can now chortle my balls.

balls

↓

What's happening?

↓

Why did you do that?

↓

Right after you forced me to set Dinesh up,

forced

↓

I told the other engineers that if you won

engineers

↓

you'd immediately insult Dinesh

immediately insult

↓

by saying something sexually demeaning or racist.

demeaning racist sexually

↓

And you just did both.

↓

I see.

↓

Fun at my expense.

expense fun

↓

Now if it's alright with upper management,

alright management upper

↓

we have a shit ton of work to do.

↓

Yeah, like so frickin' much.

frickin

↓

Assholes.

assholes

↓

I wanna fire Danny.

danny fire

↓

Do it.

↓

I'll ask Richard.

richard

↓

We are at Eklow Labs.

labs

↓

Yes, we are.

↓

The site of my creation.

creation site

↓

Richard?

richard

↓

Do you think if I asked, they would let me visit her?

asked visit

↓

Jared, she's gonna be okay.

jared

↓

Alright? She's gonna be plugged back into her old servers,

alright plugged servers

↓

surrounded by familiar engineers,

engineers familiar surrounded

↓

sitting on the table where she was born.

born sitting table

↓

I promise. She's going to be fine.

promise

↓

Extreme care with the optical sensors, gentlemen.

care extreme gentlemen

↓

Boston Dynamics needs them overnighted.

boston needs

↓

Richard: I don't understand.

richard

↓

Fiona is this company's most valuable asset.

asset companys fiona valuable

↓

Yes, and as such she will garner the highest return

garner highest return

↓

when I have her dismantled and sold off for parts.

parts sold

↓

So you're just gonna take all this promising tech

promising tech

↓

and liquidate it?

↓

Yes. As quickly as I'm able.

able quickly

↓

Dude, check it out.

check

↓

I'm a robot.

robot

↓

Richard, being a CEO is a terrible waste of time.

richard waste

↓

And a horrible way to make a living.

horrible living

↓

I'll be returning to Bream-Hall immediately.

hall immediately returning

↓

Speaking of... as promised.

promised speaking

↓

A term sheet for your series B.

series sheet term

↓

Congratulations, Richard.

congratulations richard

↓

Thank you.

↓

See? Silver lining.

lining silver silver-lining

↓

I told you--

↓

Wait, uh. Hey, Jared...

jared

↓

Don't-- Don't go over there. Don't look in that.

↓

Jared: Oh, Fiona...

fiona jared

↓

Come on, let's...

↓

Let's get out of here, huh?

↓

What do you say we go to the office

office

↓

and you can make me some tea?

↓

That might make you feel better?

might

↓

So, did he sign?

sign

↓

It's done.

↓

Fuck yes!

fuck

↓

How'd you get him to do it?

howd

↓

I made it clear it would be better for him

clear

↓

to hand over the company and leave town immediately.

company hand immediately town

↓

That's some old Chinese shit right there.

chinese

↓

I told you, you're a badass, Yao.

badass

↓

Wait, this lists you as the buyer, not me.

buyer lists

↓

So, what's the plan here? You're gonna sign it over to me then?

plan sign

↓

Gavin, I'm afraid I will no longer be able to manufacture your boxes.

able afraid boxes longer

↓

You see, my company will be too busy

busy company

↓

manufacturing a new device,

device

↓

built on a radically better technology that I now own

built technology

↓

that will quickly render yours obsolete.

quickly

↓

Here in China, and,

china

↓

according to the U.S. patent office,

according office patent

↓

in America as well.

america

↓

Oh, the children have returned to sing for you.

children returned sing

↓

♪ My chains, new gold watch, made in China ♪

chains china gold watch

↓

♪ We play ping pong ball, made in China ♪

ball china ping pong

↓

♪ The bitch mother says pay, made in China ♪

bitch china mother

↓

♪ Yeah Higher Brothers' black car, made in China ♪

black brothers china higher

↓

♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪

love

↓

♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪

love

↓

♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪

love

↓

♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪

love

↓

♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪

love

↓

♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪

love

↓

♪ She lied, she lied ♪

lied

↓

♪ She lied, she lied ♪

lied

↓

♪ She all made in China ♪

china

↓

♪ She all made in China ♪

china

↓

♪ She all made in China ♪

china

↓

♪ She all made in China ♪

china

↓

♪ She all made in China ♪

china

↓

♪ She all made in China ♪

china

↓

♪ She lied, she lied ♪

lied

↓

♪ She lied, she lied ♪

lied

↓

♪ She lied, she lied ♪

lied

↓

♪ She lied, she lied ♪

lied

↓

DINESH CHUGTAI: I need to maintain my Tesla superiority.

maintain

↓

DINESH CHUGTAI: I need to maintain my Tesla superiority.

maintain

↓

Any one of these millennials can buy one.

↓

Any one of these millennials can buy one.

↓

How would you feel if your neighbors

neighbors

↓

How would you feel if your neighbors

neighbors

↓

got a Tiki head bigger than yours?

bigger head tiki

↓

got a Tiki head bigger than yours?

bigger head tiki

↓

♪ ♪

↓

♪ ♪

↓

JARED DUNN: I've been keeping track of the credits

credits jared keeping track

↓

JARED DUNN: I've been keeping track of the credits

credits jared keeping track

↓

that you gave to Laurie.

laurie

↓

that you gave to Laurie.

laurie

↓

If we buy them back, how much would it cost?

cost

↓

If we buy them back, how much would it cost?

cost

↓

-One-point-six-million dollars.

dollars million million-dollars point

↓

-One-point-six-million dollars.

dollars million million-dollars point

↓

BERTRAM GILFOYLE: You want an alternative to Laurie Bream?

alternative laurie

↓

BERTRAM GILFOYLE: You want an alternative to Laurie Bream?

alternative laurie

↓

Well, it's Pied Piper coin.

coin piper

↓

Well, it's Pied Piper coin.

coin piper

↓

MONICA HALL: Before you walk away,

hall walk

↓

MONICA HALL: Before you walk away,

hall walk

↓

there's a friend you should talk to.

friend

↓

there's a friend you should talk to.

friend

↓

Did they work? -Yup.

↓

Did they work? -Yup.

↓

It's not always about money. Sometimes, it's about wisdom.

money sometimes wisdom

↓

It's not always about money. Sometimes, it's about wisdom.

money sometimes wisdom

↓

So, you lost it all?

lost

↓

So, you lost it all?

lost

↓

Richard! If I didn't love this crazy guy so much,

crazy love richard

↓

Richard! If I didn't love this crazy guy so much,

crazy love richard

↓

I'd knock his teeth out.

knock teeth

↓

I'd knock his teeth out.

knock teeth

↓

♪ ♪

↓

♪ ♪