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Home » Silicon Valley » S02E03 — Bad Money

Silicon Valley

Season 2, Episode 3 — Bad Money

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Bad Money

Air date: April 26, 2015

Director: Alec Berg

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

While considering Gavin’s proposal, Richard is approached by Russ Hanneman, an image-conscious billionaire who wants to back Pied Piper, but may not be as “hands-off” as he claims. Gilfoyle and Dinesh play hardball to get what they want; Gavin finds a new strategy in dealing with the enemy.

Source: TMDB

↓

This is a good buyout.

↓

It's way better than what Gavin offered before.

offered

↓

And our packages include nice salaries, cash earn-outs,

cash earn include outs packages

↓

stock in Hooli, which vests after only four years of working there.

four four-years stock vests working years

↓

I mean, this seems like a pretty good deal, right?

deal seems

↓

Hooli? You really think we'd go work for Hooli?

↓

What the fuck is wrong with you, Richard?

fuck richard

↓

What other options do we have?

options

↓

We need serious funding to go up against Nucleus,

funding serious

↓

and we don't have that.

↓

- So, listen... - I will listen

↓

to the sound of you chortling on my balls.

balls sound

↓

- Okay. - Richard, I'm an independent businessman.

businessman independent richard

↓

Emphasis on "independent" and "business."

business independent

↓

And "man," come to think of it.

↓

Count me out.

count

↓

Actually, you're not being offered employment at Hooli.

offered

↓

They'd give you a full buyout.

full theyd

↓

How big?

↓

Okay, maybe I'm not explaining this right.

explaining

↓

I mean, when you heard Gavin Belson say it, it sounds much clearer.

clearer heard sounds

↓

He's saying, rather than put us out of business,

business

↓

he'd prefer to just take us and make us part of his, um, Hoo...

part prefer

↓

Okay, that does sound bad.

sound

↓

But, look, you just had to be there, okay? He's very articulate.

↓

Richard, you didn't leave your drink unattended around Gavin, did you?

drink richard

↓

Yeah, you don't sound like yourself.

sound

↓

I'm fine. And for what it's worth,

worth

↓

Monica thinks this is the right thing for us to do.

thinks

↓

What?

↓

You told Monica about this before you told us?

↓

I don't know, Gilfoyle.

↓

I guess I thought that Monica would actually give this rational thought

rational

↓

as opposed to ordering me to chortle her balls.

balls opposed ordering

↓

Guys, Richard's right.

↓

It's a pretty good deal, all things considered,

considered deal

↓

and, Richard, I'd understand if you took it.

richard

↓

Thank you, Jared.

jared

↓

But Hooli was like an abusive spouse to me.

abusive spouse

↓

You know, like that guy who married Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy?

enemy married roberts sleeping

↓

It was dehumanizing.

↓

But then, you, Richard, you pulled me out of the life

life pulled richard

↓

and you gave me hope and you gave me a sense of self-worth.

hope self sense worth

↓

Like Richard Gere did to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

richard roberts woman

↓

- This is weird. - Every day here

weird

↓

has been like that shopping-spree scene.

scene shopping

↓

- I'm putting on hats. - Okay.

hats putting

↓

Julia Roberts aside,

aside roberts

↓

are you guys saying that you'd rather me let Pied Piper die?

piper

↓

'Cause that's what's going to happen if we don't take this deal.

deal happen

↓

Face it, Gavin has us cornered.

cornered face

↓

He has you cornered.

cornered

↓

Yeah, we can just go work on our apps.

apps

↓

Sorry, I'm not going to go work for Hooli.

↓

Same for me, except for the part about being sorry.

except part

↓

And this buyout sucks. I'll have nothing to do with it.

sucks

↓

If you're going to go at this one,

↓

it sounds like you're going to have to go at it alone, hoss.

alone hoss sounds

↓

Okay, so if I go to Hooli, you don't want your check?

check

↓

Of course I want my check. What are you, insane?

check course insane

↓

But I think it's important for me to show my dissatisfaction by walking out on you.

walking

↓

Richard, I'd understand if you took it,

richard

↓

but watching you end up over there would break my heart.

break heart watching

↓

What, like Julia Roberts from My Best Friend's Wedding?

best best-friends friends roberts wedding

↓

I never saw it.

↓

Richard Hendricks.

richard

↓

What's happening?

↓

Russ Hanneman. True pleasure to meet you.

meet pleasure

↓

Oh, yeah, I think I recognize you from TV.

recognize

↓

Yeah, you do.

↓

Uh, how do you know who I am?

↓

Good question. No reason I would.

question reason

↓

But I watched your whole TechCrunch thing online, twice.

online twice watched whole

↓

That whole spazz thing you did...

whole

↓

That was fucking priceless.

fucking priceless

↓

So I called the Pied Piper number,

called number piper

↓

and somebody said you were heading over to Hooli.

heading somebody

↓

The guy sounded like he was either Chinese or retarded.

chinese retarded sounded

↓

Uh, Man-Yang.

yang

↓

Yeah, I don't know what that means.

↓

You know, Richard, back before I blew up, I got fucked with, too.

blew fucked richard

↓

You think you're the first guy to take this ride?

ride

↓

You're hot, you're sued,

sued

↓

then the guy suing you offers you a buyout, am I right?

offers suing

↓

Wow. Yeah, actually you're exactly right. That's what's happening.

↓

- Like my ride? - Uh...

ride

↓

They don't make it in this color. They did it just for me.

color

↓

Guys in this town don't have the balls to drive a car like this.

balls drive town

↓

They're billionaires and they drive fuckin' Priuses.

drive fuckin

↓

Why?

↓

I think mainly just environmental concerns.

concerns environmental

↓

They're all lemmings, Richard. Everyone in this town is.

richard town

↓

Just look at them. Lemming, lemming.

↓

Okay.

↓

I scratched my car.

scratched

↓

It's the rivet in my pants. These are cool pants, too.

cool pants

↓

Fuck, that's a deep scratch. That will not buff out.

buff deep fuck scratch

↓

Motherfucker! Fuck it.

fuck motherfucker

↓

Let me ask you a question, Richard. Have you ever had beef?

beef question richard

↓

Like, with someone, like fighting?

fighting

↓

- No, the food. - Oh. Yeah.

food

↓

No, you haven't. Get in.

↓

_kay. - Giddy up!

giddy

↓

- You in? - Almost.

↓

- Let's do this, Richard. - Okay.

richard

↓

Shit. "D." Drive!

drive

↓

Come on, fuck you! Drive!

drive fuck

↓

Which is why I counsel any young founder today

counsel founder today young

↓

to pursue your dream not for profit or valuation or material wealth,

dream material profit pursue wealth

↓

but for the good of humanity.

humanity

↓

Which is easy for you to say, being a billionaire.

billionaire easy

↓

Let me change the subject. I have...

change subject

↓

I don't care for your tone, Kara.

care tone

↓

I'm getting a little tired of this bias against the leaders of our industry.

industry leaders tired

↓

I'm continually creating jobs and helping people,

creating helping jobs

↓

and I'm tired of getting slapped for it.

slapped tired

↓

I didn't steal the money I have, and I resent being treated like I did.

money resent steal treated

↓

You know, there is a climate in this country that is very dangerous.

climate country dangerous

↓

It's dangerous out there for billionaires?

dangerous

↓

There's that attitude again, Kara.

attitude

↓

Billionaires are people, too.

↓

We are leaders in technology, in industry, in finance.

finance industry leaders technology

↓

Look at history.

history

↓

Do you know who else vilified a tiny minority

minority tiny

↓

of financiers and progressive thinkers called the Jews?

called jews progressive

↓

Wait a minute. Did you just compare the treatment of billionaires in America today

america compare minute today treatment

↓

to the plight of the Jews in Nazi Germany?

germany jews nazi

↓

Absolutely.

absolutely

↓

One could argue that billionaires are actually treated worse.

argue treated worse

↓

And we didn't even do anything wrong.

↓

We're an even smaller minority. There's a lot more of them.

minority smaller

↓

These are facts.

facts

↓

So then it hits me.

hits

↓

We take this thing called "the radio"

called radio

↓

and put it on this new thing called "the Internet."

called internet

↓

And no one was doing it. No one.

↓

So we started Hoovering up the deals.

deals started

↓

Eat this, open your mouth. Open your mouth. Good.

mouth open

↓

Eat it, eat it. Don't chew, just let it dissolve.

chew

↓

- Hold. - This is very hot.

↓

Hold.

↓

It just think it's physically impossible for it to dissolve in my mouth.

impossible mouth physically

↓

Hold. Now chew, chew, chew!

chew

↓

It's very hot. It's good, it's good.

↓

Good? It's the fucking best. This whole place is.

best fucking place whole

↓

You call this place and they don't know you, they pretend they don't speak English.

english place pretend speak speak-english

↓

You see a white face in here? No, you don't.

face white

↓

Anyway, next thing you know, we IPO, stock triples in a day and AOL gobbles us up.

stock

↓

All of a sudden, I'm 22 years young and I'm worth 1.2 B.

sudden worth years young

↓

Now a couple decades later, I'm worth 1.4. You do the math.

couple decades math worth

↓

Okay. Well, that's a gain of $200 million over 20 years.

gain million years

↓

16.66 repeating.

repeating

↓

That's less than 1% return.

less return

↓

Inflation is, like, 1.7.

inflation

↓

I think CDs are 2%.

↓

So that's less than a CD.

less

↓

Well, no one ever got laid putting money in the bank. Am I right?

bank laid money putting

↓

Those bad boys right there, they're all you. You gotta flip 'em over. That side's done.

boys flip sides

↓

Listen, Richard, I want to back you.

richard

↓

You build whatever the fuck you've got going

build fuck

↓

in that crazy, fucked-up, genius brain up there.

brain crazy fucked genius

↓

It's all up to you. I'm white glove, hands the fuck off.

fuck glove hands white

↓

Let's make you a billion dollars.

billion billion-dollars dollars

↓

Let's make me a billion more. How's that sound?

billion sound

↓

You're not worried about the lawsuit?

lawsuit worried

↓

Shit, no. I got three nannies suing me right now, one of them for no reason.

reason suing three

↓

So come on, let's do this.

↓

Let's kick Gavin Belson's teeth in at CES.

kick teeth

↓

And then when you're really worth something,

worth

↓

I'm gonna take you back to those same spineless VCs who said no,

↓

and I'm gonna shove you right up their assholes.

assholes shove

↓

Um...

↓

That's a very enticing offer.

offer

↓

And I wish I didn't have to do this Hooli thing, but I should probably at least...

least wish

↓

"Should"? No, no, Richard. Don't do what you should do.

richard

↓

Do what you want.

↓

I mean, should I pay 800 bucks for that tiny piece of meat?

bucks meat piece tiny

↓

Of course not. But I do it anyway. Because I want it.

course

↓

Simple question, Richard, "What do you want?"

question richard simple simple-question

↓

Gentlemen, what's the update on the apps? Or the app-date, if you will?

apps date gentlemen update

↓

I will not.

↓

Here's my app-date.

date

↓

I was excited to work on it, and then I looked at it with fresh eyes.

excited eyes fresh looked

↓

Wajeed was right. It's really shitty. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking.

fuck shitty thinking

↓

But I bought your pitch.

bought pitch

↓

Yeah, you fucked up, too.

fucked

↓

My app is still great.

↓

But in the time that we've been clicking around with Pied Piper,

clicking piper

↓

ten other apps that basically do the exact same thing have come out.

apps exact

↓

Guys, if I list you as references,

list references

↓

can I count on you to say nice things about me?

count

↓

Be honest.

honest

↓

Do you want me to be honest or nice?

honest

↓

What, did you get a parking ticket or something?

parking ticket

↓

Yeah, I still can't see it. Could you use your mouth?

mouth

↓

All right. Just read it.

read

↓

- $5 million? - Yeah, yeah.

million

↓

You guys are not going back to Hooli, and neither am I.

↓

How the fuck did you get that?

fuck

↓

Russ Hanneman?

↓

Oh, Monica, I see you got my text.

text

↓

Are you out of your mind?

mind

↓

Nice to see you, too, and, no, I'm not.

↓

You're putting your entire future

entire future putting

↓

in the hands of the man who put radio on the Internet?

hands internet radio

↓

I can only assume that he mentioned that to you.

assume mentioned

↓

It may have come up.

↓

Oh, this guy. That's the guy?

↓

Yeah, that's the guy.

↓

Does he actually smile like that with his upper and lower teeth at the same time?

lower smile teeth upper

↓

The guy is a joke.

joke

↓

How does he even do that?

↓

He's a boorish, pompous, womanizing douchebag

douchebag pompous

↓

who got lucky, like, 20 years ago and hasn't done anything since then.

lucky years

↓

Sounds like Erlich.

sounds

↓

Sounds like he knows who he is and he doesn't apologize for it.

apologize knows sounds

↓

So he's a joke. Who cares?

cares joke

↓

This joke is willing to give us $5 million to fund Pied Piper.

fund joke million piper willing

↓

And he doesn't own anything. This whole thing is a loan.

loan whole

↓

Yeah, the demand note is structured as a loan.

demand loan note

↓

But he does have the option to take repayment in the form of equity,

form option

↓

and he does get two board seats right off the bat.

board seats

↓

Yeah. Which means you won't get rid of him, ever.

↓

If you succeed, he gets a huge chunk of Pied Piper

chunk huge piper succeed

↓

and if you fail, this lunatic has ratchets to seize control of the company.

company control fail lunatic seize

↓

Love it or hate it, at least Hooli is a real company.

company hate least love real

↓

You should take their offer.

offer

↓

I should. I should.

↓

But I'm tired of doing what I should do,

tired

↓

and I kind of want to start doing what I want to do.

start

↓

And what I want to do is be a self-centered, irrational asshole

asshole irrational self

↓

that doesn't compromise on anything, at all, ever.

compromise

↓

And when Pied Piper is a big fucking deal,

deal fucking piper

↓

Russ is going to take us back to all those VCs who passed on us

passed

↓

and shove us right up their fucking assholes.

assholes fucking shove

↓

What?

↓

Yeah, I don't want any part of that last bit.

part

↓

It sounded better when Russ said it.

sounded

↓

Again, I am not good at quoting in context.

context quoting

↓

It doesn't matter. I'm going to...

matter

↓

I'm going to call Ron LaFlamme,

↓

and I'm going to tell him that we're taking Russ's money.

money

↓

Okay, so I'm supposed to tell Laurie Bream

laurie supposed

↓

that she is publicly co-invested with Russ fucking Hanneman?

fucking invested publicly

↓

So, you'd rather me sell my soul to Gavin Belson

sell soul

↓

than you just having an awkward conversation with your boss?

awkward boss conversation having

↓

Oh, thanks, Monica.

thanks

↓

The guy has calf implants, Richard.

calf richard

↓

How do they look?

↓

Everyone on Twitter is saying I'm an anti-Semite. You were there.

anti twitter

↓

I was. And what I saw was an anti anti-Semite.

anti

↓

Hello? Did you hear from Hendricks?

↓

What do you mean he went with someone else?

↓

Who did he go with?

↓

Are you fucking kidding me?

fucking fucking-kidding kidding

↓

- Russ Hanneman? - That's right.

↓

The Russ Hanneman with whom I am familiar?

familiar

↓

Yes.

↓

That is with whom they chose to go? Russ Hanneman?

chose

↓

Yes.

↓

He's a vulgar human being. He's utterly distasteful.

human utterly vulgar

↓

And it would not be inaccurate to say

↓

that we at Raviga

↓

are now co-investors

investors

↓

with Russ Hanneman.

↓

- I tried to talk him out of it. I did, but... - Mmm-hmm.

tried

↓

You know what?

↓

Peter used to say that every successful company

company peter successful used

↓

could look back at a defining moment early on where they would have died

died early moment

↓

had it not been for the courage and the tenacity

courage

↓

and maybe the insanity of one visionary person who put it all on the line

insanity line person

↓

even though it seemed like a huge mistake at the time.

huge huge-mistake mistake seemed

↓

A moment where all the metrics and the numbers didn't mean anything.

moment numbers

↓

It was all about the emotion. It was about belief, rational or irrational.

belief emotion irrational rational

↓

And I think...

↓

I hope that I just witnessed that.

hope witnessed

↓

I did not understand any of what you just said.

↓

Oh...

↓

- None of it? - None of it.

↓

I will not interact with Russ Hanneman in any way. Is that clear?

clear

↓

It is, Laurie.

laurie

↓

I feel very strongly that you should have prevented this.

strongly

↓

- This exchange is now over. - Okay, but I...

exchange

↓

This exchange is now over, thank you.

exchange

↓

Well, Richard?

richard

↓

Firstly, congratulations on finally being funded.

congratulations finally

↓

I hope you took a little time out to enjoy this moment and celebrate.

celebrate enjoy hope moment

↓

I certainly did.

certainly

↓

- You did? - I did indeed.

indeed

↓

I celebrated earlier this morning.

morning

↓

You did, this morning?

morning

↓

Oh, yeah.

↓

But now it's down to business.

business

↓

We have a huge amount of work to do between now and January.

amount huge january

↓

I know $5 million sounds like a lot of money,

million money sounds

↓

but even if we set our burn rate conservatively,

burn rate

↓

it's only going to last 18 months.

months

↓

Litigation wipes out half our funds right off the bat.

funds half wipes

↓

And we have to stand up servers, pay for financial and HR,

financial servers stand

↓

pay LaFlamme, and payroll alone is going to be pretty hefty.

alone hefty payroll

↓

Did you see the hiring proposals that Dinesh and Gilfoyle submitted?

hiring

↓

- No. - They're untenable.

↓

Well, I need four web-app devs, two front end, two back end.

devs four front

↓

I need a guy to turn your ref code into a production-quality library.

code library production quality

↓

I need two more guys to port the decompression libraries,

port

↓

do JavaScript, iOS, Android,

↓

and I need a few more guys to build out our APIs,

build

↓

so I need all those guys.

↓

Ditto. I need every one of those guys on my list.

ditto list

↓

Okay, it's just that there's... That's 15 people each.

↓

I mean, that's like an entire division at Facebook.

division entire facebook

↓

Fine, I could do it with 12.

↓

I could do it with 11 because I'm a better leader than Dinesh.

leader

↓

Okay, great.

↓

Well, good news. I got them to cut it down to 12 and 11.

news

↓

A positive step, but we need to cut a little deeper.

deeper positive step

↓

Okay, well, what's the max amount of people we can afford to hire for them?

afford amount hire

↓

Three for each of them.

three

↓

Three? Are you serious?

serious three

↓

Can you just tell them?

↓

Oh, I have, several times.

several several-times times

↓

But they just kept saying if I didn't waste so much money at the butthole doctor,

butthole doctor money waste

↓

then we'd have enough money,

money

↓

but I pay for all my medical out of pocket.

medical pocket

↓

We can only afford to hire three people for each of you.

afford hire three

↓

I'm sorry, but that's it.

↓

- Okay, that's fine. - It works for me.

works

↓

What?

↓

If you could do it with three people, why didn't you just say so?

three

↓

Because we're negotiating against each other.

↓

No, we're not. We're on the same team. We want the same thing.

team

↓

Disagree. I just got you to give me three guys for a job I could easily do with two.

disagree easily three

↓

God damn it.

↓

Knock, knock, who's there? This guy.

knock

↓

Hey, Russ, what's up?

↓

- How are you? - I'm good. What brings you here?

brings

↓

I had to meet this lawyer and his fucking kid's sick,

fucking kids lawyer meet sick

↓

so now I have a few hours to kill.

hours kill

↓

Did I see a McLaren 650 S with the extra-trim package pull into the driveway?

driveway extra package pull trim

↓

- Or did I not? - Yep.

↓

So this is the team.

team

↓

Whoa...

whoa

↓

I'm just gonna say it. This guy fucks. Am I right?

fucks

↓

'Cause I'm looking at the rest of you guys,

looking rest

↓

and this is the guy in the house doing all the fucking.

fucking house

↓

Am I right? You know I'm right.

↓

This guy fucks.

fucks

↓

Thank you.

↓

Hey, what's up, Al-Qaeda?

↓

No, I'm totally kidding. I'm diffusing the tension with humor.

humor kidding tension

↓

What tension? There's tension?

tension

↓

No, of course not. Seriously, no beheadings, though, all right?

course

↓

Russ Hanneman. How you doing, motherfucker?

motherfucker

↓

Oh, man.

↓

I want to know what kind of fucked-up childhood this guy had.

childhood fucked

↓

All right, fellas, what are we doing here?

fellas

↓

Mr. Hanneman, I am Erlich Bachman. I am the owner and proprietor of this house.

house owner

↓

So I can give you a tour of the premises if you like,

premises tour

↓

show you where the actual fucking happens.

actual fucking happens

↓

Nah, I'm good.

↓

Listen, I don't want to disturb the flow. I just wanted to check out the magic in action.

action check disturb flow magic wanted

↓

So I'm gonna grab a seat right over there.

grab seat

↓

I'm gonna be a fly on the wall. I'm not gonna say a word. Shh.

wall word

↓

We have a meeting that we were going to do, so maybe we could just do that?

meeting

↓

It was nice to meet you, Russ.

meet

↓

So, uh, I think we'd actually save a lot of time

save

↓

if we got on the same page in regards to the budget.

budget page

↓

So what I need from you guys is to...

↓

I'm sorry, do you really talk like that?

↓

- Like what? - Like that.

↓

I mean, this is... This is my normal speaking voice.

normal speaking voice

↓

Like right now, like how you're talking, is that real?

real

↓

This one? This is real.

real

↓

Wow!

↓

All right, yeah. Doesn't matter, go, go.

matter

↓

This is the same way as I was talking back there.

↓

- Keep going. - At the door. Okay.

door

↓

Okay, so I think, actually, if we went back closer to...

closer

↓

C Dog! You, homo.

homo

↓

- ...our requests with an eye... - Nothing.

requests

↓

No, you should come here.

↓

- Keep going, keep going. - Okay.

↓

- ...that's more in line with... - What's the address here again?

address line

↓

I would just clear it with Erlich...

clear

↓

Hang on.

hang

↓

It's 5230 Newell Road.

road

↓

Did you get that? Keep going, keep going.

↓

- Okay, back to it. - Get a fucking pen.

fucking

↓

Go again. Say it one more time.

↓

The address is...

address

↓

- Go for it. - It's 5230 Newell Road.

road

↓

Keep going. Did you get that?

↓

I don't know. He's a fucker.

fucker

↓

That little Hendricks prick fucked me over, again.

fucked prick

↓

I want this suit to be more than a holding action. I want to win it.

action holding suit

↓

What can we do here?

↓

Well, this lawsuit is going to be a protracted and time-consuming ordeal.

lawsuit ordeal

↓

But with our superior resources, top litigators,

resources superior

↓

we feel this gives us the advantage over Pied Piper.

advantage gives piper

↓

Translation?

translation

↓

Ultimately, the suit will turn based on proving that Pied Piper was created here at Hooli.

based created piper proving suit ultimately

↓

Now so far, concrete evidence of that is thin.

concrete evidence thin

↓

So thicken it!

↓

Gavin, your visitors are here.

visitors

↓

Ah! Gentlemen! And lady.

gentlemen lady

↓

Thank you for coming today to open a dialogue.

coming dialogue open today

↓

Now if you'll follow me.

follow

↓

In an effort to hardwire sensitivity into our corporate mind-space,

corporate effort mind space

↓

I'm having a scale replica of the Hall of Names at Yad Vashem

hall having names scale

↓

constructed right next to the bike shop.

bike shop

↓

Okay, so...

↓

No, no, no! It's got to be afternoon. Afternoon.

afternoon

↓

No, no. Bring him, too. Which Raoul? Lawyer Raoul?

bring lawyer

↓

Litigation and payroll are both capped.

payroll

↓

SG&A, we still have a little wiggle room.

room wiggle wiggle-room

↓

And we're going to punt...

↓

No, fuckhead!

↓

Sir, you know you can turn the volume down on that.

volume

↓

Just on the side.

side

↓

Where does that leave us?

↓

Let's go open an IPA, huh?

open

↓

I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you. Someone was talking. What did you say?

↓

Keep going, keep going.

↓

- Right. - Richard, one potential issue.

issue potential richard

↓

Our hosting fees could become a challenge as we scale.

become challenge scale

↓

Right, but we can offset a lot of that once we get a few customers

customers

↓

and start a subscription-revenue model.

model start

↓

What? Revenue? No, no, no. No revenue. I'll call you back.

↓

What?

↓

Why would you go after revenue?

↓

Because to make money.

money

↓

No.

↓

If you show revenue, people will ask, "How much?" And it will never be enough.

↓

The company that was the 100xer, the 1,000xer, becomes the 2x dog.

becomes company

↓

But if you have no revenue, you can say you're pre-revenue.

↓

You're a potential pure play.

potential pure

↓

It's not about how much you earn, it's about what you're worth.

earn worth

↓

And who's worth the most?

worth

↓

Companies that lose money.

companies lose money

↓

Pinterest, Snapchat, no revenue.

↓

Amazon has lost money every fucking quarter for the last 20 fucking years

amazon fucking lost money quarter years

↓

and that Bezos motherfucker is the king.

king motherfucker

↓

The king.

king

↓

There's no revenue. No one wants to see revenue. Go.

wants

↓

I just thought that mainly the goal of companies is to make money.

companies goal money

↓

Yeah, no, no, no. That's not how it works.

works

↓

I don't want to make a little bit of money every day.

money

↓

I want to make a fuckton of money all at once. ROI.

money

↓

ROI. You know what that stands for?

stands

↓

- Uh, return on... - Return on investment!

investment return

↓

No.

↓

- Radio on Internet. - Internet.

internet radio

↓

Did you put radio on the Internet?

internet radio

↓

- No. - So everything you just did, do the opposite.

opposite

↓

So you want us to take files and make them bigger?

bigger files

↓

That guy!

↓

That guy is crazy. I love that guy.

crazy love

↓

You said that you were going to be hands-off. Is that still happening?

hands

↓

Yes, please.

↓

Do me a favor, make the right fucking decisions and leave me the fuck out.

decisions favor fuck fucking

↓

You think Corey wants to be here? Corey, let's bounce. Come on.

bounce corey wants

↓

- Uh, Richard? The check. - Right.

check richard

↓

Mr. Hanneman, I think the bank had some issue with the check.

bank check issue

↓

They said the funds are on hold for some reason?

funds reason

↓

Wait, you didn't try to cash that check, did you?

cash check

↓

Did you try to cash that check I gave you?

cash check

↓

That's the show check. That's the one you frame and put up on your wall.

check frame wall

↓

You didn't try to cash that, did you?

cash

↓

So do we arrange a wire transfer or...

arrange transfer wire

↓

No. No, you don't get it all at once.

↓

We set your burn rate and then I cut you a new check every other week

burn check rate week

↓

between now and CES in January, unless you fuck up too badly.

badly fuck january

↓

All right, hit it hard, boys.

boys hard

↓

This guy fucks.

fucks

↓

You know, Russ, I've been known to fuck myself.

fuck known

↓

Well, he's the worst man in America.

america worst

↓

And now he owns us.

owns

↓

Why the fuck would he have us come all the way out here?

fuck

↓

I don't know.

↓

Boys.

boys

↓

Russ, what's up? Um...

↓

I know you had asked us to concentrate more on branding and less about the product,

asked concentrate less product

↓

but we were thinking about that and...

thinking

↓

I got it.

↓

God?

↓

No. No, shitheads. Look!

↓

Oh.

↓

"I am Pied Piper"?

piper

↓

Who is that?

↓

Yeah, how is she Pied Piper?

piper

↓

- What is this? - Brand awareness.

awareness brand

↓

We're getting Pied Piper out there.

piper

↓

Right.

↓

But what exactly is the product? I mean, what's... What's this selling?

product selling

↓

Pied Piper, idiot.

idiot piper

↓

- I like it. - Uh-huh.

↓

Yeah, here's the new check I promised you. This one you can cash.

cash check promised

↓

Obviously, I had to subtract the cost of the ad agency that nailed that slogan.

agency cost nailed obviously

↓

The photo, legal, lay-out, plus the cost of the 15 billboards.

billboards cost legal photo plus

↓

Don't worry, I gave you guys a sweet deal on them.

deal sweet worry

↓

- Gave us? - Yeah.

↓

Hanneman Outdoor Media. I own the billboards.

billboards media

↓

That's how I talked the ad agency into giving you guys that slogan for only 30 grand.

agency giving grand talked

↓

Synergy, bitches. Know what that means?

bitches

↓

Does it mean taking a stack of cash and lighting it on fire?

cash fire lighting stack

↓

Crazy fuck! I love this guy.

crazy fuck love

↓

You fucking guy! Oh, and get this.

fucking

↓

I found out where Gavin Belson lives

found lives

↓

and I placed 15 of these babies between his house and his office.

babies house office placed

↓

And guess where I placed the biggest one of all?

biggest placed

↓

This is the most hostile and aggressive act

aggressive hostile

↓

of provocation I've ever had to endure.

↓

It crosses every line of decency.

decency line

↓

This is war.

↓

You better have something good for me.

↓

We believe we have a way to win this case.

believe case

↓

What if there were an individual here at Hooli

individual

↓

with whom Hendricks had had a lot of contact?

contact

↓

What if this individual were, arguably, a member of the original Pied Piper team?

individual member original piper team

↓

What if we took steps

steps

↓

to present this individual in a light such that his talents were undeniable?

individual light present talents undeniable

↓

Surely an individual this brilliant

brilliant individual surely

↓

would move quickly up the ladder here at Hooli.

ladder quickly

↓

Surely he'd be promoted rapidly and repeatedly, no?

promoted rapidly repeatedly surely

↓

And surely these impressive promotions would lead a court to agree

agree court impressive lead surely

↓

that someone this brilliant, who was there at the inception of Pied Piper,

brilliant piper

↓

must be integral to, if not solely responsible for its creation.

creation must responsible solely

↓

It's all right. You can come in.

↓

Hmm.

↓

So you're saying the more praise and promotion we heap on this person,

heap person praise promotion

↓

the more it looks like Pied Piper was created here at Hooli.

created piper

↓

Big Head!

head

↓

Sorry. Sorry, guys. Hooli phone?

phone

↓

I didn't even know the ringer was on.

↓

No one's ever actually called it before.

called ones

↓

Hello?

↓

Nothing. Why?