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Home » Silicon Valley » S02E02 — Runaway Devaluation

Silicon Valley

Season 2, Episode 2 — Runaway Devaluation

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Runaway Devaluation

Air date: April 19, 2015

Director: Mike Judge

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew

In the wake of Hooli’s bombshell, Richard and the guys struggle to find a backer as they face legal and financial woes. Monica attempts to balance her interest in Pied Piper with her job. A cash-strapped Dinesh tries to put an end to the Kickstarter campaign for his cousin’s new app, Bro. Richard gets a surprising offer.

Source: TMDB

↓

How can Gavin Belson claim that he owns Pied Piper?

claim owns piper

↓

I mean, this whole lawsuit is insane, right?

insane lawsuit whole

↓

Well, let me ask you something, Richie.

richie

↓

And I need you to be totally straight with me.

straight

↓

Was Pied Piper related in any way

piper related

↓

to what you were doing when you were working at Hooli?

working

↓

No. No, not at all.

↓

I was doing quality assurance for mobile messaging.

messaging mobile quality

↓

It had nothing to do with compression.

↓

They didn't even have a compression division at that time.

division

↓

And did you work on Pied Piper on Hooli time

piper

↓

or use Hooli equipment to develop it in any way

develop equipment

↓

- at any time, Richie? - No, and no.

richie

↓

Great. And by the way,

↓

always tell me that. And tell yourself that.

↓

Because if you believe it, a jury will, too.

believe jury

↓

I do believe it. It's the truth.

believe truth

↓

Great. That one was even better than the other one.

↓

I love it. Always say it exactly like that.

love

↓

Yeah, okay. Look, um...

↓

We're going to win this, right?

↓

Richie, if what you just told me is the truth,

richie truth

↓

and don't tell me if you lied,

lied

↓

Gavin's got nothing here.

↓

This is a classic intimidation lawsuit

classic intimidation lawsuit

↓

designed to freeze you until after Nucleus comes to market.

comes designed freeze market

↓

It's got all the usual boilerplate nonsense.

nonsense usual

↓

"Breach of contract," "unjust enrichment,"

breach contract

↓

"breach of non-solicitation,"

breach

↓

and the hiring of someone named Donald Dunn.

donald hiring named

↓

Jared. We call him Jared.

jared

↓

Changing his name to get out of it, clever but irrelevant,

changing clever irrelevant name

↓

because all we care about are the intellectual property claims.

care claims intellectual property

↓

And we will win this.

↓

- Good. - But we're going to have to lawyer up.

lawyer

↓

What do you mean? Aren't you our lawyer?

lawyer

↓

I'm not a litigator. That's what you need.

↓

Another lawyer? Really?

another lawyer

↓

Lawyers, Richie. You don't want to mess around here.

lawyers mess richie

↓

A young start-up with an IP lawsuit hanging over its head?

hanging head lawsuit start young

↓

I wouldn't want to be a part of that team.

part team

↓

Well, but you are a part of that team.

part team

↓

I'm part of the team that team is on.

part team

↓

Yeah. It just sounds really expensive.

expensive sounds

↓

Says the guy who just got bukkaked with fat term sheets.

sheets term

↓

Welcome to the business, Richie.

business richie welcome

↓

Look, wherever we're at with your funding, legal fees will be worked into the deal.

deal funding legal worked

↓

You've got Raviga. You're covered.

covered

↓

Relax.

relax

↓

"We're out"? What do you mean, "We're out"?

↓

Was it not clear from the context?

clear context

↓

We, at Raviga, are out of the business of funding Pied Piper,

business funding piper

↓

at least while the Hooli lawsuit remains unresolved.

lawsuit least remains

↓

That suit is total nonsense.

nonsense suit total

↓

Nonsense is not a quantifiable metric, Monica.

nonsense

↓

Risk is.

risk

↓

Funding any early-stage company is a high-risk proposition,

company early funding proposition risk stage

↓

but compound that uncertainty with a legal cloud

cloud compound legal

↓

over the company's intellectual property, and it's untenable.

companys intellectual property

↓

And that is just the financial risk. There is also a legal risk.

financial legal risk

↓

We could become embroiled in Gavin Belson's lawsuit

become lawsuit

↓

for aiding and abetting.

↓

And there is a political risk for the firm,

firm political risk

↓

but especially for me as its new leader.

especially leader

↓

I'm being heavily scrutinized from both within and without.

heavily

↓

I cannot have my first decision post-Peter be one with such dubious fundamentals.

cannot decision peter post

↓

It's a rudimentary decision.

decision

↓

How am I supposed to tell them this?

supposed

↓

In my experience, it's best to look a person in the eye

best experience person

↓

and deliver the information with warmth and compassion.

compassion deliver information warmth

↓

Okay.

↓

One other suggestion.

suggestion

↓

Dress unattractively when you tell them.

dress

↓

I read a study. The less sexual interest they feel for you,

interest less read sexual study

↓

the less perturbing it will be. It sounds strange,

less sounds strange

↓

but it's credible.

credible

↓

May I suggest the beige ensemble

beige suggest

↓

in which you came to work... Tuesday?

tuesday

↓

Things are just really different at Raviga,

↓

and I had nothing to do with the decision.

decision

↓

Guys, I'm so, so sorry.

↓

Wait, so the company that offered us the most

company offered

↓

until Richard talked them into offering us the least

least offering richard talked

↓

is now offering us nothing?

offering

↓

But the fact that you're so sorry makes it all better.

fact makes

↓

You guys will be fine. You'll find someone else.

↓

We don't want someone else, Monica. The whole point of going with you guys

point whole whole-point

↓

was because we trust you guys.

trust

↓

- Trusted. - We still have our 5% stake,

stake trusted

↓

and Laurie said that I can still sit on the board,

board laurie

↓

which means I can still come to meetings...

meetings

↓

Can I say something here?

↓

First off, Monica, you're not fooling any of us for even a second

fooling second

↓

with your dress-shitty-to-ease-the-pain routine.

dress ease pain routine shitty

↓

It's a classic chick break-up move,

break chick classic

↓

and you're not very good at it, either. You look great.

↓

Yeah, beige is a good color for you.

beige color

↓

You're a true autumn.

autumn

↓

Secondly, who cares?

cares secondly

↓

We have a three-foot stack of term sheets from the top VCs on the face of the planet.

face foot planet sheets stack term three

↓

So the top one fell out. As Jay Z says,

fell

↓

"On to the next one."

↓

Jared, who's our next best offer?

best jared offer

↓

Between the numbers and the reputation,

numbers reputation

↓

that would be Coleman Blair Partners.

blair coleman partners

↓

I'm gonna go put my face on.

face

↓

Call Coleman Blair. Tell them that Santa Claus is coming early this year,

blair claus coleman coming early santa santa-claus

↓

and he's bringing a big bag of Pied Piper.

bringing piper

↓

Well, I'm going to leave this room without saying goodbye to you.

goodbye room

↓

I'm sure you can find your way out with one of your two faces.

faces

↓

Sorry about that.

↓

The guys are just a little emotional.

emotional

↓

No, I get it.

↓

And look, I probably shouldn't say this,

↓

but there are a lot of really great VCs in town.

town

↓

You'll be fine. I just...

↓

Just what?

↓

Just tell them that you're really excited to be in business with them

business excited

↓

and try to close quickly.

close quickly

↓

You know, while momentum is still on your side.

side

↓

Well, it's gonna break a lot of hearts on Sand Hill Road

break hearts hill road sand

↓

but congratulations.

congratulations

↓

We decided to go with you.

decided

↓

Uh, we were told that you were going with Raviga.

↓

And I am happy to say that is no longer the case.

case happy longer

↓

We're really excited to be in business with you guys.

business excited

↓

Can I ask... Did you walk away from them,

walk

↓

or did they walk away from you because of the lawsuit?

lawsuit walk

↓

Ah, that lawsuit we know to be frivolous.

lawsuit

↓

Yeah.

↓

Is that a Yes Folder?

folder

↓

No.

↓

So, no pastries today, huh?

today

↓

So both Raviga and Coleman Blair Partners passed

blair coleman partners passed

↓

- because of the lawsuit? - Frivolous suit. It's nothing.

lawsuit suit

↓

Well, it's not nothing.

↓

Look, before we start negging each other...

start

↓

- Negging? - It's a term used in sexual manipulation.

manipulation sexual term used

↓

Maybe not relevant here.

relevant

↓

We're really excited to be in business with you guys.

business excited

↓

Hmm...

↓

We actually see this lawsuit as a positive.

lawsuit positive

↓

We will win, and it proves that we have something worth suing over.

proves suing worth

↓

And yet Raviga, Coleman Blair Partners

blair coleman partners

↓

and Wood Opal Fund have all passed.

fund passed wood

↓

We're really excited to be in business with you guys.

business excited

↓

Hmm...

↓

You know term sheets aren't legally binding documents, right?

binding documents legally sheets term

↓

Of course not. They're just guidelines

course

↓

that people follow

follow

↓

unless, of course, they're pussies.

course pussies

↓

You came in here three days ago.

days three three-days

↓

You were arrogant, condescending and offensive.

arrogant condescending offensive

↓

Now you come in here, you call me a pussy...

pussy

↓

Whoa! I did not call you a pussy.

pussy whoa

↓

I said that people who break term sheet agreements are pussies,

break pussies sheet term

↓

and that hasn't happened... Yet.

happened

↓

Thus, I haven't called you a pussy... Yet.

called pussy

↓

You're in control of the situation.

control situation

↓

Hooli has the unlimited resources to hamstring you

resources unlimited

↓

until Nucleus comes out, at which point, they will be the market standard,

comes market point standard

↓

and you will be irrelevant.

irrelevant

↓

We're here to invest in innovation,

innovation invest

↓

not lawyers,

lawyers

↓

so let me be perfectly honest with you.

honest perfectly perfectly-honest

↓

Your behavior

behavior

↓

was boorish and juvenile...

juvenile

↓

You were rude, vulgar and uncouth.

rude vulgar

↓

You were coarse, graceless and puerile.

↓

Obscene, insulting and ignorant.

ignorant insulting

↓

Ignorant?

ignorant

↓

You called me a shit-riddled, anal wasteland.

anal called riddled

↓

You called me a chode-gargling fuck-toilet.

called chode fuck toilet

↓

We're really excited to be in business with you guys.

business excited

↓

Uh, guys, I hate to panic you

hate panic

↓

until I'm absolutely sure it's warranted,

absolutely

↓

but Richard just texted me. We got our seventh pass.

pass richard seventh texted

↓

- Fuck. - Fuckin' Gavin Belson.

fuck fuckin

↓

All the VCs turned on us.

turned

↓

Apparently, Erlich used some pretty assertive vaginal metaphors last round,

apparently assertive metaphors round used vaginal

↓

so it's been a bit of an uphill climb.

climb

↓

I think we're going have to crunch our burn-rate again.

burn crunch rate

↓

Even with the $50,000 from TechCrunch, we're not going to last very long.

↓

Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.

↓

Richard said we were going to split that money, right?

money richard split

↓

$10,000 each?

↓

I don't think we can afford to do that anymore.

afford anymore

↓

Fuck!

fuck

↓

I just donated $5,000 to my cousin Wajeed's Kickstarter campaign.

campaign cousin donated

↓

He's trying to get an app called Bro off the ground.

called ground

↓

Bro?

↓

It's a messaging app that let's you send the word "bro"

messaging send word

↓

to everyone else who has the app.

↓

So it's exactly like the Yo app.

↓

Yes, but less original.

less original

↓

Why don't you just cancel your credit card?

cancel card credit credit-card

↓

That way Kickstarter can't collect your pledge.

collect pledge

↓

Well, I would love to, but he looks up to me.

love

↓

I was always like the cool cousin of the family, you know what I mean?

cool cousin family

↓

Wait.

↓

Did you just say you were "the cool cousin"?

cool cousin

↓

Yeah.

↓

Please explain.

explain

↓

Well, when we were kids, I was the one getting good grades,

grades kids

↓

I was the one who was planning for my future,

future planning

↓

I would bring gifts for my teachers 'cause they worked so hard.

bring gifts hard teachers worked

↓

You know, cool stuff. He was always getting in trouble,

cool cool-stuff stuff trouble

↓

he got caught smoking opium in the tool shed,

caught shed smoking tool

↓

he crashed my uncle's motorbike.

crashed uncles

↓

And you think you're the cool one?

cool

↓

Yeah, it's different in Pakistan.

↓

I've never been, but I know it isn't.

↓

Oh, here it is. Bro 2 Bro is a 1-bit communication messenger,

communication messenger

↓

"The fastest way to speak your mind."

fastest mind speak

↓

As long as what's on your mind is the word "bro."

mind word

↓

Well, he's still shy of his goal.

goal

↓

If he doesn't get there, none of the pledges get collected.

collected

↓

I feel horrible for what I'm about to say,

horrible

↓

but I really hope he fails.

fails hope

↓

That is the first cool thing you've ever said.

cool

↓

You know what? This may not be an issue.

issue

↓

Richard and Erlich are heading into their last stop.

heading richard

↓

I trust Erlich can be diplomatic and pull it off.

pull trust

↓

A few days ago, I came in here and I did some things

days

↓

and said some things that I should not have.

↓

Also, we would like to open about the fact that Pied Piper

fact open piper

↓

is involved in a complicated legal matter

complicated involved legal matter

↓

that could affect our potential value.

affect potential value

↓

And that being said, we are open

open

↓

to renegotiating the funding terms to reflect that.

funding reflect terms

↓

But most of all, I want to thank you.

↓

Thank you

↓

for allowing me to come in here today

allowing today

↓

and be vulnerable and to apologize.

apologize vulnerable

↓

Mr. Bachman, I didn't have you come all the way back here today

today

↓

just to apologize to me.

apologize

↓

Please, it's Erlich. And you didn't?

↓

Of course not. I asked you back

asked course

↓

because three days ago I sat right here,

days three three-days

↓

and I watched you put your testes on this reclaimed

watched

↓

Brazilian Koa wood table,

table wood

↓

and now you're going to sit there

↓

and you're going watch me do the same goddamn thing to you.

goddamn watch

↓

- What? What? - My turn.

↓

- No. But it's your table! - Yes, it is my table.

table

↓

- Oh, man. Please don't do that. - Good God!

↓

I think you should cancel your Kickstarter campaign.

campaign cancel

↓

- Whoa... What? - Listen, I love your idea.

idea love whoa

↓

- You know I do, right, bro? - Bro?

↓

Bro? Like, it lets you send the word "bro" to anyone else that has the app.

send word

↓

I know what it is. You've explained it to me so many times.

explained times

↓

I love it, but you know, I'm not saying...

love

↓

Other people are, like, saying horrible stuff.

horrible stuff

↓

I'm supporting you, and they're saying, like,

supporting

↓

"Oh, he couldn't get funding, so he had to go to Kickstarter

funding

↓

"like some charity case collecting money from strangers,

case charity collecting money strangers

↓

"like a street beggar who sits on the ground,

ground sits street

↓

- "eats trash." - Really?

eats trash

↓

Yeah.

↓

Look, just between us,

↓

I was thinking about canceling, anyways,

anyways canceling thinking

↓

because we're way, way under our goal.

goal

↓

Really? Really?

↓

Like, embarrassingly low.

↓

You know what?

↓

- That sucks. - It does really suck.

suck sucks

↓

But I think it's the right thing to do.

↓

- Well, you're right. - 'Cause you don't want bad word of mouth

mouth word

↓

to kill such a great idea.

idea kill

↓

Yeah, like with what happened to your app. Yeah.

happened

↓

What do you mean, what happened to my app?

happened

↓

Everybody started talking about how bad it was, and then you ended up giving up.

ended everybody giving started

↓

I didn't give up. I left to go work on Pied Piper.

left piper

↓

So you're saying, then, that if Pied Piper didn't happen,

happen piper

↓

you would still be working on your app?

working

↓

Even though all those people just shit, like, all over...

↓

Like all of them.

↓

Who are these people? Who is shitting on it?

shitting

↓

Our cousins, Tab, Farooq, Imran and those people.

cousins

↓

This girl I'm fucking.

fucking girl

↓

What have those people ever accomplished? Nothing!

accomplished

↓

The girl I'm fucking was in the Olympics.

fucking girl olympics

↓

People are idiots! Standing on the sidelines criticizing

criticizing idiots sidelines standing

↓

everyone who's actually trying to do things.

↓

You really think so?

↓

Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Fuck those people!

absolutely fuck

↓

You know what? You're right, you're right.

↓

That's what makes you so cool,

cool makes

↓

that you have the fucking backbone to say that.

backbone fucking

↓

- Fuck those people. - Yeah, fuck 'em all.

fuck

↓

- Fuck those people. - Fuck them.

fuck

↓

I'm not going to cancel my Kickstarter Campaign, fuck 'em.

campaign cancel fuck

↓

Wait, hold on one second.

second

↓

Yeah, no, you know what? You're right. Fuck them.

fuck

↓

I'm not going to cancel it, and I'm going to throw

cancel throw

↓

a huge Kickstarter party.

huge party

↓

I'm gonna invite everyone that I know,

invite

↓

and we're going to put Bro over the top.

↓

Everybody, this guy is the coolest cousin!

coolest cousin everybody

↓

Thank you for the $5,000, eh?

↓

Whoo!

whoo

↓

At least I have the common decency to shave mine.

common decency least shave

↓

Before you pull them out in public?

public pull

↓

So you're complaining about the guy's sense of decorum?

complaining sense

↓

Absolutely. We live in a society.

absolutely live society

↓

I can't believe we are this fucked.

believe fucked

↓

Guys, something interesting just happened.

happened interesting

↓

So, I downloaded Wajeed's Bro app out of curiosity

downloaded

↓

and found it very sticky.

found sticky

↓

I've never felt like I was anyone's bro before.

anyones

↓

The only people who have used that term with me were assailants,

term used

↓

but I started bro-ing people and getting bro'ed back.

started

↓

This is my nightmare.

nightmare

↓

And all of a sudden, I'm bros with all kinds of people,

bros kinds sudden

↓

including a guy from Branscomb Ventures.

including

↓

Branscomb? That's a solid shop.

shop solid

↓

Yes. So we bro'ed about this and that,

↓

and then when he heard I worked at Pied Piper,

heard piper worked

↓

he got excited, he triple liked my bro, and he asked about meeting us.

asked excited liked meeting triple

↓

Okay, but does he know about the lawsuit?

lawsuit

↓

Yeah, I told him. I mean, you know what they say,

↓

- "Bros disclose." - No one says that.

bros

↓

Wait, doesn't Branscomb already have its own compression play?

↓

Yeah, but not a good one, apparently.

apparently

↓

I mean, they want to sit down with all of us, engineers included.

engineers included

↓

That only happens in a second or third meeting.

happens meeting second third

↓

Technical due diligence. That's good.

technical

↓

Okay, Jared, what did you tell him?

jared

↓

Um, I was waiting a bit to bro him back,

waiting

↓

so that I don't seem over-eager.

eager

↓

Bro him back! Bro him back.

↓

Bro him.

↓

We're not dead yet, guys.

dead

↓

Well, get some sleep, my bros.

bros sleep

↓

I'll set the meeting, and, um,

meeting

↓

then I'll go find some hoes to prioritize behind you.

behind hoes prioritize

↓

Are you trying to say, "Bros before hoes"?

bros hoes

↓

It's sexist, but it's about friendship.

friendship sexist

↓

Middle-out is based on a completely new probabilistic model.

based completely middle model

↓

It finds long range structures that's hidden

finds hidden range

↓

even to domain-optimized algorithms.

↓

I'm sorry, is this too in the weeds?

weeds

↓

Not at all. Take us into the weeds.

weeds

↓

Wouldn't you rather hear our go-to-market strategy?

market strategy

↓

You mentioned something earlier about

mentioned

↓

stacking Middle-out on top of another compression algorithm.

algorithm another middle

↓

How does that even work?

↓

I mean, you can't compress something that's already compressed to entropy.

↓

Right?

↓

WOW. Uh...

↓

I don't really get too many of those questions in meetings like these.

meetings questions

↓

But it's actually easier if I show you.

easier

↓

- May I? - Absolutely.

absolutely

↓

Okay, great. Here I go.

↓

Stacking Middle-out is actually very real.

middle real

↓

- Let's take... - Do you have to pee, Jared?

jared

↓

Because I have to pee.

↓

I would love to pee.

love

↓

There. When you stack Middle-out...

middle stack

↓

- They're brain-raping us, right? - They definitely are.

brain raping

↓

Shit. All right, wait here.

↓

What are you doing?

↓

I told you I didn't have to go pee. What is happening?

↓

Those guys are never going to fund us. We need to leave now.

fund

↓

What are you talking about? This is going great.

↓

I mean, VCs are never interested in how Middle-out actually works.

interested middle works

↓

Of course they're interested, because they want to steal it.

course interested steal

↓

This is a classic brain-rape.

brain classic rape

↓

- What? - We did it at Hooli all the time.

↓

We'd schedule meetings with companies so they'd explain their technology,

companies explain meetings schedule technology theyd

↓

then we'd use their ideas in our products.

ideas products

↓

- Like what happened to Yelp. - Yes.

happened yelp

↓

It's like when somebody says they want to go birding with you,

somebody

↓

but really they just want to get you alone in the woods,

alone woods

↓

so they can take your binoculars.

binoculars

↓

Look, those guys aren't doing technical due diligence.

technical

↓

They're not even consultants. They're a compression company.

company

↓

One of them has braces, for fuck's sake.

braces fucks fucks-sake sake

↓

- Braces! - Shit.

braces

↓

Dinesh and Gilfoyle, they're still in there.

↓

Middle-out doesn't restrict itself to H-264's two-dimensional grid

grid middle

↓

or time-bound patterns at all.

bound patterns

↓

This is great. Great.

↓

You know, they usually don't bring us to these things and I think I know why.

bring usually

↓

It's 'cause we steal the show.

steal

↓

You guys are really helpful.

helpful

↓

All right, shut it down. Meeting over. We're out of here.

meeting

↓

No more pictures, fucking assholes.

assholes fucking pictures

↓

- I could email you... - Why is this not coming off?

coming email

↓

No, you're not emailing anybody.

anybody

↓

Thank you, Jared.

jared

↓

We were bros.

bros

↓

We were bros.

bros

↓

Yo, yo, yo, just want to thank everyone

↓

for coming out to this Kickstarter party for Bro,

coming party

↓

the app that proves that you can change the world

change proves world

↓

in just one word!

word

↓

Actually, it's just half a word.

half word

↓

I know. It's so efficient.

efficient

↓

Now as you can see, we're just $5,000 away from our goal.

goal

↓

But we got a whole hour left, people.

hour left whole

↓

So let's get those "bronations" going.

↓

Donations are funny, right?

donations funny

↓

I mean, why would anybody donate to something like Bro

anybody donate

↓

and not a homeless shelter or schools?

homeless schools shelter

↓

Cancer? That's still out there.

cancer

↓

Any of us could have it.

↓

Food for thought...

food

↓

Which a lot of people also don't have.

↓

Have a great party, guys-

party

↓

You could donate if you want,

donate

↓

but he's throwing away half the world's market.

half market throwing worlds

↓

You know what "bro" means in Mandarin?

mandarin

↓

It means "asshole."

asshole

↓

You know what "bro" means in Portuguese? "Rapist."

rapist

↓

In Latvian, it roughly translates to

roughly

↓

"one who beheads the messiah."

↓

In Finnish, "bro" means "a baby's erection."

babys erection

↓

In Urdu, "bro" is actually short for "brokhtaver,"

short

↓

which means "a dildo for a man."

dildo

↓

A man's dildo.

dildo mans

↓

"Fecal eclipse."

fecal

↓

it loses something in translation.

loses translation

↓

We don't have a word for it. They do.

word

↓

It's "bro."

↓

You know what "bro" means in Navajo?

↓

A really joyful person with mental disabilities.

joyful mental person

↓

All right, less than a minute to go, people.

less minute

↓

And we're just two grand away. Come on, you can do it, come on.

grand

↓

That's that I'm talking about!

↓

$500 from Gilfoyle_Luci4.

↓

Where you at, bro? Wherever you're at, you're my bro.

↓

Looks like I got here just in time, bro.

↓

What the fuck did you do that for? Do you know how this works?

fuck works

↓

If you put him over the edge, we both owe him money?

edge money

↓

But you have to pay a lot more.

↓

- 30 seconds left! - I'm effectively leveraging your misery.

left misery seconds

↓

Somebody! Anybody!

anybody somebody

↓

I'm like the Warren Buffett of fucking with you.

buffett fucking

↓

- $1,100! Come on, bros. - You're a dick.

bros dick

↓

Only $1,100 left. I might be good for that.

left might

↓

- Gilfoyle, please. - I'll tell you what.

↓

You pay me $500, and I won't pledge anymore.

anymore pledge

↓

For 500 bucks, you save $5,000.

bucks save

↓

I'm not giving you a dime.

dime giving

↓

- Nine, eight, seven... - Okay, I'm pledging.

eight nine seven

↓

No. Stop. $500. It costs $500. Let me... Stop it. $500.

costs

↓

- Okay. - Three, two...

three

↓

it doesn't matter. It's not like he's going to make his...

matter

↓

What the fuck?

fuck

↓

Yes, yes, yes! We did it! Who was it?

↓

That's not how that was supposed to go.

supposed

↓

Mika! Mika, I love you, Mika!

love

↓

Who is that tall Asian woman?

asian tall woman

↓

Some woman that Wajeed is fucking.

fucking woman

↓

She was in the Olympics.

olympics

↓

Ah...

↓

He really is the cool cousin.

cool cousin

↓

Even with the 50 grand we got at TechCrunch,

grand

↓

we've only got a few weeks left to runway before we crash and burn.

burn crash left runway weeks

↓

Richard, if it makes you feel any better,

makes richard

↓

I put that Branscomb guy in his place.

place

↓

I dropped him from Bro,

dropped

↓

but not before I sent one final angry "bro."

angry final sent

↓

What do you mean? You can make them angry? You can make "bros" angry?

angry bros

↓

Well, he made this bro angry.

angry

↓

But technically, no, the "bro" I sent was identical

identical sent technically

↓

to the previous "bros" I sent,

bros previous sent

↓

but I think he'll infer the anger from context.

anger context

↓

This is Ron on the phone. I gotta take it.

phone

↓

Yeah, okay.

↓

- Hello, Ron. - Hey, Richie.

richie

↓

I gotta bounce on over to my mind-body thing,

body bounce mind

↓

but I just wanted to give you the good news.

news wanted

↓

I got you a top-shelf litigator.

shelf

↓

Yeah, uh, we should probably discuss that.

discuss

↓

You're gonna sweat me about the cost, right? Don't.

cost sweat

↓

I hammered them on their fee. They're going to bring it way down.

bring hammered

↓

Okay, so how much?

↓

This whole thing is going to cost you two, 2.5 million tops.

cost million tops whole

↓

- What? - I know, right. It's like it's free.

free

↓

I told you, I pay for myself.

↓

So I'm going to need you to head on down to their offices tomorrow

head offices tomorrow

↓

at 10:00 a.m. You slap an 80K retainer on them,

retainer slap

↓

and we are good to go.

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Okay, I actually have another call, so...

another

↓

I'll get out of your pubes.

pubes

↓

I'm emailing you intros to the guys you're meeting tomorrow.

meeting tomorrow

↓

Later.

↓

Hello?

↓

Oh. Uh, hello.

↓

Yes.

↓

Uh-huh.

↓

Sure, just me?

↓

Okay, what time?

↓

Hello.

↓

Richard. Thanks for coming.

coming richard thanks

↓

What are we doing, Richard?

richard

↓

Lawsuits and lawyers?

lawsuits lawyers

↓

You out there getting rejected by every VC in town?

rejected town

↓

Neither of us want this,

↓

but maybe together we can find a way out.

↓

Yeah, easy. Drop the lawsuit.

drop easy lawsuit

↓

- You know I can't do that. - I didn't steal Pied Piper from you,

piper steal

↓

and you know it.

↓

Well, that's up to the courts to decide.

courts decide

↓

And until they do, you're frozen.

frozen

↓

Meanwhile, my best engineers are working around the clock

best clock engineers meanwhile working

↓

to get me a Middle-out algorithm that surpasses yours.

algorithm middle

↓

And in January when we have it and we come to market,

january market

↓

you won’t just be frozen, you'll be dead.

dead frozen

↓

You played your best hand, Richard, and you lost.

best hand lost played richard

↓

It's just business. So...

business

↓

Wouldn't you rather get something out of Pied Piper while you still can?

piper

↓

- Let me acquire you. - What? No way. Are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

We should have just done this the first time.

↓

I know you thought about it. It's the perfect fit.

perfect

↓

You get my infrastructure, I get your speed,

speed

↓

and I get it today rather than in a month or two.

month today

↓

What's the downside?

↓

The downside is that everything I'm building

building

↓

becomes the property of your giant soulless corporation.

becomes corporation giant property soulless

↓

And what exactly do you think you're building?

building

↓

You're out there trying to get funding so you can hire people,

funding hire

↓

scale up, roll out a product, IPO,

product roll scale

↓

and eventually become a publicly-traded what?

become eventually publicly traded

↓

Corporation.

corporation

↓

We would be different.

↓

I see. I suppose once Pied Piper is a billion-dollar company,

billion company dollar piper suppose

↓

you'll seek out your competitors and help them.

seek

↓

Please. Let's face it.

face

↓

What is Hooli if not the best possible future version of Pied Piper?

best future piper possible version

↓

You think you're building something different? No.

building

↓

You're building something that's exactly the same as what I've already built,

building built

↓

except with you instead of me. But that's not possible now, Richard.

except possible richard

↓

But you know what is? We could build something together, you and me.

build

↓

Something great. Something the world needs now.

needs world

↓

Look, I don't have to do this.

↓

I'm just trying to do the right thing here.

↓

So, what do you say?

↓

You want to know what I say?

↓

Okay, here's what I say.