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Rick and Morty

Season 5, Episode 4 — Rickdependence Spray

TMDB episode metadata
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Mom! We're gonna miss the movie!
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No, we're not. Okay, but we've been here for hours.
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I-I don't want to hang out at the stupid horse hospital.
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This stupid horse hospital puts dinner on your table.
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It wouldn't kill you to take an interest.
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W-What's this thing? I-In the middle of the room?
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With -- With the hole in the end?
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That's a breeding mount. The nurses use it to collect...
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reproductive material.
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[ Click, whirring ]
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[ Squishing ]
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[ Click, whirring stops ]
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Okay, let's go see this latest piece of Marvel shit
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you kids are jizzing over.
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Yeah. A-About time.
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So, d-does your hospital ever need, like,
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after-school volunteers?
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Wow. Who are you and where did you put my son?
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Ha! No, no. Seriously.
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I-I'm very interested in -- in your work.
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[ Birds chirping ]
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[ Sighs ]
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Morty, you dirty little doggy.
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[ Liquid sloshing ]
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Ugh! Come on! [ Grunting ]
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[ Liquid sloshing ]
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Hey, Rick.
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Oh, hey, kiddo. How's your Saturday?
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You know, super chill. W-W-Whatcha doin'?
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Eh, nothing adventurous.
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You know that race of Underground Dwelling Cannibal
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Horse People that we're always fighting?
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Yeah, the CHUDs. W-W-What about 'em?
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Well, don't tell anybody, but I'm working on
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a bioweapon to use against them,
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so I got this barrel of horse semen from your mom's hospital
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and I'm just gonna, you know,
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subject it to some otherworldly forces.
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Guess I should test it, make sure it's --
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Make sure it's what?! Horse semen, obviously.
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Okay, but it says it is right on the barrel!
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You're not being very scientific, Morty.
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Measure twice, cut once. Especially with semen.
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Did you even ask Mom if you could have this?!
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Morty, if I wanted to steal horse semen, I'd --
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Yes, I asked her. What is at stake for you here?
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Why don't you trust labels?! All right! Fine! I won't test it!
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God damn. Your generation really picks random hills to die on.
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Don't get too close.
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I'm running an inhuman amount of power through this semen.
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Should be safe, though, since the semen itself is,
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you know, also inhuman. Here we go.
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[ Crackling ]
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[ High-pitched whine ]
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[ Rumbling ]
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[ Creature growling ]
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[ Screaming ]
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[ Snarling ]
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[ Glass shattering ]
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W-What happened?!
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The sperm, Morty!
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They're super monster sperm now! I blame myself.
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Unless there was something about the sperm I didn't know.
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Are you -- Are you saying that to mess with me?
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What? Mess with you how?
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Like, trying to get me to say something?
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Morty, I have no idea what you're talking about!
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For real? Yes!
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Okay. Good. Then -- Then it's your fault!
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Beth: Dad, what the hell is going on?!
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Beth, sweetheart, Can you give me a minute?
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I'm trying to steer around the bodies of our neighbors.
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[ Thump ] Oh, that felt like Gene.
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[ Tires screeching ]
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Oh!
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[ Laser pistol zapping ]
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Oh, shit, oh, shit, shit.
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[ Roaring ]
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[ Snarling ] [ Pistol clicks ]
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Mr. Sanchez!
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The President is very eager to speak with you!
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Morty, look, you gotta do me a solid here.
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they have gathered here.
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Why would the sperm go to the Grand Canyon?
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Why are you looking at me like the answer is obvious?
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Oh, you can't be serious. Are we in middle school?
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You think sperm are instinctively
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heading for America's -- Don't high-road us, lady.
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It's where they went.
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Now, how do we deal with these...
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"Orgasogoblins"? No takers?
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Okay. These... "Cumplestiltskins?"
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No? Dumb? These, uh, "Skeet Boogins?"
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Oh, yeah, yeah, Skeet Boogins.
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Really? Skeet Boogins?
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We'll use it as a placeholder and beat it later.
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Mr. President, i-if I may?
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Luckily, I was able to secure a specimen.
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Now, obviously our first steps will be to analyze its DNA
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and figure out what these beautiful creat--
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Oh, why?! It-it had a gun!
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Are you out of your mind bringing an armed sperm in here?
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But they can't hold guns!
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The boy literally never lies!
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Look, if you want these things gone,
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give Rick and me a plane and some nukes.
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We'll wipe 'em out and leave no trace of them.
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Only one way to deal with it.
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He's right. [Burps] I'm a scientist.
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Fair enough. Blow 'em to hell.
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What are people gonna do,
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complain we made the canyon grander?
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Jerry, we're being bad parents. Do something!
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I-is this water for everyone?
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Yes, and I'd love a glass. Comin' up!
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What are you doing?
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And, Rick, to make sure you don't screw anything up,
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I'm sending my best men with you.
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And women. It's a fine suggestion,
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but I doubt their leader will be a sexy queen
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that needs to be kickboxed.
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100% male Marines!
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They say cutting a sperm's throat is like
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running a warm knife through butter.
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I'm gonna make these things pregnant...with death!
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No fear! No humility!
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Both: Zero chance of consequences!
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Hey, gentlemen's bet -- which of these background Marines
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you think will last the longest?
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I'm not betting on human lives, Rick.
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All of these people are gonna survive,
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but obviously that guy the longest.
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Yeah, he's my pick, too. What's his name?
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Blazen? Pretty cool.
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Yeah. He's, like, meditating through turbulence.
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Psh. I bet if something fell,
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he'd like, catch it without opening his eyes.
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Totally. Should we throw something at him?
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I-I got a pencil somewhere.
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[ Both scream ]
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[ Marines screaming ]
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Who-who's shooting at us?!
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Oh, wow, that's unexpected.
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The sperm made a catapult?!
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A-A-Are they getting smarter?!
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No, you're getting dumber because that's a trebuchet.
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Nobody knows the difference!
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They're reloading that textbook trebuchet!
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Time to fly! Aaaaaah!
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Oh!
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We gotta keep moving.
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So cool. Not even a scratch.
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Okay, girls, and I mean that derogatorily.
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We just took a fat "L," and what we need is a fat "P."
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A plan.
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Skeeters!
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- Jipers! - Ropers!
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I'm sorry, but what the hell are we calling them?
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Agh! Oof.
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Fine. I'm dying, so I get to pick the name.
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Crispy Cremes with a "C"!
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Whoa! [ Grunting ]
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[ Snarling ]
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Whoa. E-Easy there, little guy. It's okay.
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I-I-It's okay.
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Do you...recognize me?
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Do you know you came from me?
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I'm Morty.
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I'll call ya "Sticky,"
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'c-'cause you're sticky and -- and you're stuck.
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Oh. [ Chuckles ] [ Purring ]
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Step aside, Morty.
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It's okay. Y-You don't gotta do this.
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It's haploid genetic code, Morty,
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a biological fertilizing machine.
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W-What's gotten into you?
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Rick, let him go.
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Ugh.
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Morty, don't fuck with me.
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What the hell's going on with you?
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I think I know exactly what's going on here.
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Kidding. This shit is totally random.
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Let's keep moving. W-Which way?
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[ Inhales deeply ]
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When one sense is bound, the others are released.
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[ Sniffing ]
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Holy shit. He -- He can smell caves?
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I'm not trying to smell anything.
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The whole planet's a dorm room trash can.
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Sir, Rick Sanchez has gone dark.
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I knew we couldn't rely on him!
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Well, maybe the pilot got too horny
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as they approached America's Vagina.
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If you're gonna hang out in my war room,
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you can't just make snarky comments.
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At least do something useful, like Jerry.
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Right to the top, just the way you like it.
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Here's our situation.
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Rick's gone, and so are all our nukes.
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Now what?
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None of you have an idea? I do.
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That's right, me -- the girl.
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Gentlemen, what do sperm want?
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The same thing as a lumberjack in the morning
a5ae8648-5532-4a89-96b5-0efcd5774ab0.gif
or a fox at night.
1bbf4ddd-ccda-4e74-9f8b-041b04b41471.gif
Pants! Eggs.
3225c89f-faaa-4cd6-af9c-f6b83b7d649c.gif
Pancakes! Eggs.
0fb304a6-e60b-4bf0-b0cd-c9192d2b246f.gif
You want to control giant sperm, you need a giant egg.
d4f0faa4-19ce-4c68-8170-81863e247545.gif
W-W-Wait a minute. Wait -- wait a minute.
d535ce76-e810-4881-8808-4e6b6df9f22f.gif
Sperm are hunters. And what do sperm hunt?
e598f3d9-5f48-4f79-bd1b-dd0a64db508c.gif
Eggs. Exactly.
871cbf63-0193-4fc2-90df-1aca905609eb.gif
And what would happen if we enlarged one?
38cb16a3-71fa-46c1-b745-85078aa53410.gif
They'll head right for it! Get MIT on the phone.
73885e1b-bf8f-47c4-9192-3a8b1b42acef.gif
And get this guy a Nobel Prize.
a0a8b850-7875-4307-988a-8fe14a3bb255.gif
[ Applause and laughter ] You became a woman today.
632b7041-bc69-4222-ac52-ca90ca4a538f.gif
e47f756a-f2a4-40e5-9a29-77056ffa2a64.gif
[ Devices whirring ]
5e8004a2-c570-458d-ba7e-c76c4aed2553.gif
So, Blazen, you got kids?
416ef38a-b798-456c-bf45-3fed10a40441.gif
The battlefield is my family.
4f165df2-86df-4e85-ad84-28c11783b2d5.gif
So cool. Wicked badass.
919f3bbf-20dd-47e6-8e53-fc9bacbd914c.gif
[ Sperm snarling ] Go. I'll hold 'em off.
b8472eee-ae5a-4115-9e73-78211631aa75.gif
Blazen, you don't have to do this.
0b4a9889-5fbb-449b-8355-46c4e277ca75.gif
Shh. It is my destiny.
bdba7b0d-913e-46f2-8b9f-ab93abcaab68.gif
He's right, Morty. It's the price of being Blazen.
c20291bc-fee5-48b3-ae0e-98650d5cebc0.gif
Let him do his thing.
70300f7a-94c9-483c-b987-a827b09f6972.gif
[ Sperm snarling ] [ Grunts ]
e2770cc3-5de7-4032-b708-4f81bf0574aa.gif
Blood for blood.
a963353f-f259-4ad1-b704-92a39fa8f7a7.gif
Cream for cream. [ Grunts ]
008acb8b-a3d1-40a7-94fc-e62dc265818a.gif
Oh, no. I can't reach that!
e9980e89-0a09-4820-abdb-891b55bff913.gif
Idiot!
e8e09cb9-e9fd-4dff-8ffd-4a085f0134c6.gif
What?! They're comfortable!
2999e1fd-0c53-4cfe-9d72-6a8fd62d1f9b.gif
You should try them!
21ed2637-5f15-4b3c-9bad-c9ebeb32036e.gif
Eh, ah! Ohhhh.
1c539196-e908-460d-9b6e-946b6dc72bd1.gif
That'll do it. I'm worm food.
52e20490-780e-4472-a75b-9db92ce3b822.gif
Morty, find my wife.
a72b6961-43b6-4dd7-8f56-417d86885a2b.gif
[ Straining ] Tell her I wasn't wearing her thong.
2c920761-bf60-4846-a3d5-cc507057a548.gif
That's a photocopy of "Sports Illustrated"
cfd343d3-08e1-46ea-a1ff-c43e4ce318d6.gif
swimsuit model Kathy Ireland.
9cf57c1b-223b-4678-a20b-502cb7f32310.gif
It's -- it's my wife. We have sex.
891f96fe-ea16-40c2-adbd-25a6eced055f.gif
Here, hold that picture up so we can have sex one last time.
a154493a-abad-4826-9f92-b5bf4768175b.gif
I-I know how to suck myself.
79f9d78f-847b-4c09-b667-84fe2123d982.gif
What?! [ Sperm roaring ]
820a1933-14b4-4c6e-9c7f-680c17b3cd27.gif
Ugh, I was so wrong about this guy.
40f5ffba-6ebb-4a97-af8a-5af055996806.gif
He didn't even buy us any time.
b6e38116-d9e7-4807-899a-57445476b253.gif
[ Sperm snarling ]
bec4a155-9f5f-4aa0-b188-300ab0fddb5a.gif
Morty, get ready for some fireworks.
4886abd4-7a8b-4e34-9459-0d9c8456cf8f.gif
[ Beep ]
0b449ed3-dfd3-433b-9d2c-7c624bec4bcd.gif
Ugh!
c15d96e1-0ab1-4492-af09-cf9723ff7d7e.gif
Uh-oh. Oh, gross!
6fd2b86a-48f7-4165-a89f-8adcebfe447a.gif
This is the first time I've ever regretted being taken alive.
67a9a665-7ff7-4404-be40-b19f9242660f.gif
Wait, who the fuck is that?!
066dd1da-e525-41da-a2b8-b574125ab8ec.gif
Silence in the presence of me.
ffe0eef1-4226-4200-8937-dfa643757727.gif
I am The Sperm Queen,
a83985dd-d04b-4730-89f1-335daf3c43d5.gif
and you are of special interest to me.
39599156-ec80-4966-82be-a151095f85a3.gif
Hey, what the fuck are you doing with my stuff?
9165883b-7875-4da1-9a45-4f5ce787efb7.gif
A-And why do you have the horse jerkoff machine
ee1bb4e0-ddfe-45f8-810b-54010b387f71.gif
from my daughter's hospital?
4183bdd9-aea5-4596-a9e4-be1a95e1f6bb.gif
We need it to create our army.
a294c250-a092-4d1c-b599-a4330b447036.gif
Well, you need more than that, dummy. You need a horse.
07a6510d-d54d-48aa-9f39-daf3d667217d.gif
Oh but our stallion is already here.
efeecfd0-52f0-4682-9763-a427b2ed793b.gif
Isn't that right, Morty?
5c4077be-7fbb-4d4b-ba0f-0b5dc7e17735.gif
Or shall I say... Father?
7adbf308-01dd-4852-8814-c5872c629c2d.gif
Morty, you nasty, lying, little world-ending pervert.
a3fcb1b0-7961-45cd-b3a1-afc0e2fd21d6.gif
I-I-I'm sorry. [ Sobbing ]
cdbdcf1b-2048-42d2-88ed-1398136cdc45.gif
What was it like? Fantastic!
de4ed036-6348-41fa-a829-0b785570a224.gif
with a horse machine without it becoming Armageddon.
e74a6a14-b430-4105-ae1b-1fc1f22ac24f.gif
I-I realize that's on me.
0f66bb41-26ae-4ae3-8037-0158e0409df3.gif
Yeah, not exactly accepting apologies
495d8d59-23b7-469e-befc-ab214b84190d.gif
while I'm stuck here as Handjob Solo.
42c46147-582c-4034-aec6-bc3365fcb988.gif
This is all your fault for being ashamed of us, Morty.
58070131-25a0-48c0-8dc7-000e1dc72979.gif
How many millions went to their graves for you,
4b635f9f-5d93-459d-94da-f9ac95c34ed8.gif
hurling themselves into the void,
af8b1645-cae1-4d26-8ae0-3871120f6207.gif
only to discover a grody sock
b2a852cd-db28-4be7-b059-58e08b824a9e.gif
or a carefully folded landing strip of toilet paper?
6d3d0d5e-367c-4086-9654-bd43709ebc22.gif
Sticky! Gross.
c0a06fd7-f2e6-4b3a-80df-986d901472f2.gif
I know you're not a wordsmith, Morty, but --
49a54fd0-919c-43bd-88a5-0a18f8faf66d.gif
No, no, no, my-my sperm friend is here!
d5a0a5d7-58c9-4852-9b16-c8b261365e0a.gif
Ugh, never give 'em a name.
76445d48-7b63-4bf0-b68e-39ab5126ec4a.gif
Fools! You can't beat me!
096409eb-9a24-49b7-acde-0fad0d9a546c.gif
You didn't bring a woman that can kickbox!
26b51295-e766-4707-8582-68f074902881.gif
[ Grunts ]
8c9cea1d-345d-45d7-accf-7bb37ffed755.gif
Is that all you got?
e658f1ba-3f71-46eb-9396-d11cceab99ce.gif
Damn, that's some quintessential underdog shit.
dbdcfb1d-250b-4208-befe-2c17745a6d6a.gif
Kill them!
dedad2d2-419f-4fe1-9ff4-ddd0511807c5.gif
[ Sperm roaring ]
522feaa1-f541-440a-8cca-fd8ab64f6b75.gif
[ Groans ]
629bf82c-c0b0-4fb8-bc9e-4beeb5af9295.gif
[ Coughs ]
2db52962-a385-400c-a645-5e4e0991e8c8.gif
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
f5fe9df1-66a1-43c7-9edc-5e56af2bda22.gif
I-I should've told you the truth, Rick.
4be4cd50-9591-4d7d-822e-48bfae45344e.gif
Let's save the world first.
c3e50c10-42a9-4f86-9975-3375ba597a09.gif
Now, reset those nukes, and let's turn this canyon
0e1f084a-2b1d-4c91-a4ca-b2064c9dcd41.gif
into a can't-yon.
a1f3859d-349f-43b2-9b38-a55476c6e329.gif
[ Device whirring ]
56742de0-e51e-40c2-b048-846e01e4319e.gif
There usually earthquakes in Arizona?
d5f2c5e4-42d8-42d0-bdb4-ca855be0ff80.gif
[ Roaring in distance ]
76a741bf-23da-4827-8898-e1d937439662.gif
They're heading for Vegas,
c0e481e1-6fc8-4da2-ae1e-442cba33b061.gif
which does track on many levels, but why now?
f7577ec1-e7e8-493e-b42c-da8946087126.gif
What the?
d8081a2a-55d0-43f3-a957-4100b2a04688.gif
President: Let's hear it for Professor Shabooboo
245a118e-2cbc-48fe-9b13-d69772ffc4f8.gif
and his brilliant egg. Um, hello?
06503dba-8814-4f76-ba12-05eb0db4cf16.gif
Aren't you forgetting someone? Oh, good point.
eddb4798-8284-42af-b2ad-e50c10a99101.gif
Big thanks to the cast of Cirque Du Soleil's "Zumanity"
583b90c3-c5a3-4cd4-ae45-dffca825e4af.gif
for the impressive and erotic routine.
cb55faeb-df7d-4eb2-83ec-981fd5805ae7.gif
Mr. President, Rick Sanchez is on the line.
c6363e17-1cb7-4796-afaa-be6ed1520708.gif
Good. Put that asshole on speaker.
7c97c108-8d67-41a4-bdc5-6a063350c897.gif
Well, well, well.
fa51107c-fd3a-4927-a3e1-bd37979fa929.gif
No thanks to you, we're luring the sperm
b01184d2-18aa-48f5-b475-d2a96020099e.gif
with a giant human egg, even though,
0f2aae86-1f1b-4c32-9449-baea46f6d7e8.gif
symbolically speaking, Vegas should be enough.
38ead777-aa7f-492c-a5f7-edd56aa25744.gif
Rick: A human egg?
e0be87ad-7409-4707-b4ba-eb5425aae2e9.gif
Where-where-where did you get it?
adc0f1d1-1b35-46d8-924a-133d095813d0.gif
Glad you asked. It's your granddaughter's,
cdd1f4a9-5ed6-45b7-ae32-8b5c97a5b527.gif
so at least you contributed something to this.
af2c7386-ce77-4424-9cee-0e5dafe7c825.gif
Morty: Mister President! It's Morty!
7891c6dd-85fc-4ea9-a152-7b777ed430f3.gif
It's my sperm! I-It's all mine!
26a4ff14-0fe0-4319-a93e-3855053d320b.gif
What?! I'm a dirty little perverted maniac.
f9a8ac99-4f26-4e28-be87-474c385b7461.gif
I spent a week pleasuring myself with animal equipment,
f379bad2-6f56-443f-88bc-dc6c19f1b45f.gif
and my sperm got turned into monsters on accident
0dfcf8ea-5601-43b6-bb57-fdb2c9683c86.gif
because I kept lying about it because I was ashamed!
c6ead4b8-a5f1-43cb-b2ba-0205bcf6dc7f.gif
You should be!
46829681-fffc-4006-a136-32a1e6b08cf1.gif
My God, man, we were all 14 once
80248521-b67b-4957-8031-1f6be6db48ca.gif
but it's called self-control.
1aca9eda-e259-42f7-83d1-abb9c78b5362.gif
Don't let them reach my sister's egg, Mr. President!
22f6dbdf-1a35-4bc1-9c85-9467eebc1fe4.gif
You'll be making a giant --
28645119-5bce-4a98-9f19-25311220a698.gif
Incest baby.
6e1e3080-76ce-4d9f-8d15-b938e76abcfb.gif
What? Who told you that?
affa6837-40d8-4e79-9bc0-3900116f99a6.gif
What? I-I was finishing his sentence.
9761d5c6-7295-4b75-90af-74e9037a0124.gif
Oh. Right. Come with us.
562b7df8-aa83-4278-b1c7-bc544b3550b2.gif
The sperm is Morty's!
2e4f134d-aabb-4913-a5d1-dca081a670fe.gif
We're about to make a giant incest baby!
2ba789c3-bd64-4bce-80da-a3578898ed51.gif
Aw, well, now we're all in our darkest hour.
94d160e4-0863-40a2-b8f6-4b5222da41b0.gif
Launch the egg! Launch it now!
ea319aca-adc3-4721-84a1-aa417d398d4c.gif
B-But that'll take 30 minutes. What?! Why?!
7f97f7a1-2beb-4487-b54c-3a7ed819af0d.gif
That's how long every space launch takes!
5ad12f88-b062-489d-8a51-2095e428f827.gif
No one realizes because they only show you
3f2bb1cb-146a-4254-a45c-e698c2e771c5.gif
the last 10 seconds!
1861bf15-a3d1-4eaa-ad41-15f16d067f15.gif
Uh, uh, help me out here.
da2c6695-b6c0-4460-98d3-7a71cc2dd12c.gif
Hey, it was your idea, right?
2a6df1b6-cdee-4d36-9ae2-aced3155d657.gif
Okay, okay, n-no need to panic, everyone.
06ad7df0-a016-45c7-ae65-9dd5cbee5bb9.gif
I have a simple solution.
62ff9354-4f7a-4707-8dbe-9eb68511009c.gif
See you all in hell!
34827baa-8b70-4d8b-a761-4a4850abb8b9.gif
[ Splat ] I don't see how that's going to help.
8928f873-d3e1-4507-8ad9-6727b7958d89.gif
Form a perimeter! Protect that egg at all costs!
3aedcb82-f2dd-4bb9-a2c9-4068beb4a2aa.gif
I always knew your hormones would cause a world war
d59b7a75-6bf7-4a2d-9dee-f8be01cc2329.gif
between humans and Cannibalistic Horse People.
969152a9-0c5b-4f00-9fd6-f9af79947061.gif
I just didn't know it would be like this.
cb7ab1c2-89ae-4ae6-827e-30cf1408bcd4.gif
I can't change my nature.
54eb0797-8492-4cc8-b76c-970de693c7c8.gif
What are you, a scorpion in a Navajo fable?
499effcf-8087-4565-9cc0-a13e2e9ad1de.gif
Everyone can change their nature, Morty.
954fc855-4d9e-4d2f-ac5e-253b3a4525a4.gif
It's what defines our species.
83e5abdb-92a5-4feb-839f-eb2fa4610049.gif
Look at Iron Man.
cce638b2-e75b-46da-b594-edb4f57ada99.gif
That actor was an animal in the '90s,
bdc4e454-ad9e-43ad-851c-cc214508ee98.gif
literally waking up in bushes.
f9bd5ebb-217a-4650-a28e-6fd17f88af0f.gif
His agent had to catch him with a butterfly net. Silence!
29615b89-e8e9-4070-a276-dad6448324ba.gif
Rick Sanchez, you know why you're here.
f9d665cf-bbd4-4fc3-9fbf-315d2525d1d4.gif
Yeah, it was my grandson's fault.
4a4a8119-edfb-4981-861b-1460f19aa836.gif
You slept with my daughter! I did?
6fec8762-c989-4649-a2c1-a01c6d4749a2.gif
Oh, shit, I did.
0e0fde77-4cca-4711-8455-64f16ced4be8.gif
[ Belches ] Forgive me, Your CHUDness.
20d38739-0066-40b0-97c1-14f119c45d34.gif
I'm a changed man starting now.
6b679148-b35d-4e76-ac60-2879b86b17d9.gif
You come to the Kingdom of CHUDs for forgiveness?
20872c58-a7d0-42e3-971b-8755c2bb35bf.gif
CHUDs don't forgive humans.
20828369-8f43-46e2-90dc-cac779bd930f.gif
CHUDs eat humans!
e0322ba6-4237-4899-876b-4805ad59044b.gif
This is out there, even for us.
5982ac0c-bfc7-42fe-9289-c42a8b0d843b.gif
They can hear you, Morty.
1fb50651-39eb-47eb-beaf-d976b5dc8774.gif
All: Boil him up! Yum, yum!
3105797b-ca16-4a6c-96fc-a5db9f412efc.gif
Spice him right! Oh, boy!
294a3553-6f9a-4cb5-a9c2-67278332bffd.gif
Eat the flesh! Yum, yum!
5c18cadf-f194-4197-855d-b8e3efbfabef.gif
Not the bones! Oh, no!
0fd8e977-3b41-42e8-8b78-d25e8334df95.gif
Belly ache! Ouch, Ouch!
81671482-f496-4ba6-942b-131f7e229bd6.gif
Father! [Whinnies] Stop this at once!
0ce3d1ac-f725-4d1f-b2e5-1160d24b2991.gif
Princess Poñeta! You can't kill Rícko!
7872282b-28e0-4d8b-ad48-4d93a665c4f0.gif
I -- I love him!
1036e30d-e3c2-4a9d-92d3-d70139e55ea0.gif
[ Crowd gasping ]
49f29e64-e553-409d-9099-0251823490e3.gif
Right! I-I love you, too, Princess Poñeta.
1d08c409-c9f5-4263-aa3b-2697ecb293c5.gif
This love is forbidden.
74743dca-bd4f-460c-8483-5dc0443365c7.gif
My daughter, you are a CHUD.
3cb187b2-53d9-4ec4-ac3b-5fa61e6c84d4.gif
Rick is a human [whinnies] and age-inappropriate.
9e33cd1f-2e42-4e34-b015-8d5de0199900.gif
Then you leave me no choice.
c8ac8696-0280-4a8d-b355-ae29a2a273df.gif
By the 17th Article of the CHUD-stitution,
8d1a0208-d915-4585-a099-f971c8c1bf78.gif
I offer Rícko Sanchez horsemunity
7a7f028d-a9c2-408b-8d81-d05151aacdbb.gif
and demand a equestri-truce between all CHUDs and humans!
d10a0127-ac24-4e3a-8985-01bcf2b47592.gif
[ Crowd gasping ] On what grounds?
983a05a6-fc7c-4b24-b248-7d025df877c5.gif
On the grounds that Rícko is the father of my child.
b2508dfc-1e9f-4d68-b80a-3c40c7937435.gif
I have an heir.
3284b9a4-57d7-42fb-bda5-dac9b787b85b.gif
I have a substance-abuse problem.
ed0f1cd8-3a0a-4a93-8acc-74bac703ced8.gif
The Prophecy has come true!
dc90340e-55c4-4c51-9d30-b7590fea2e07.gif
Also, did someone drop a scroll?
eaaa486d-df96-44d2-96aa-cf7222a94454.gif
Here we go. Over here. [ Whinnies ] Sorry.
1874f3b7-7c99-42bb-b22b-670af93de822.gif
Where did you get all that?
b0ef3ecf-548c-4361-a707-e30a952afe2e.gif
- It's Vegas. - Sir!
e7d7dea3-4583-4027-b849-dfe1dbef77f9.gif
The Strip has been evacuated, but I'm worried
e23a6fd4-88b2-4227-bdd0-dec7778df05f.gif
we won't be able to hold the perimeter.
41ca849f-fde3-4f55-bc0c-1d0272c864e3.gif
Then deputize Las Vegas regulars.
a763ecb9-92d7-4d12-bca6-90cf70a7fc88.gif
Everyone's a patriot today.
35036eb2-9c82-43ca-ba2e-700ad00e2500.gif
Even me!
192e8746-5192-4623-acba-d86f0d54903a.gif
Take three steps back, Amazing Johnathan.
f09b0dc6-e3ad-4c47-ab8d-be67fa992254.gif
Men and their guns. Metaphorical and not.
641bbf9e-b763-4494-9572-9629a0ee7954.gif
Tell me about it.
3c38fb9c-b9f4-42b5-8934-8d636230ebc5.gif
Get ready, boys! The last thing this world needs
f9395abb-3487-428d-92fa-ae7fa867b6c9.gif
is a giant incest baby.
4dfe02c5-c4fe-4f86-9a46-5271b58d8173.gif
- Oorah! Here they come! - Nice!
6e3bc0cc-bbc9-44d6-b727-e6156c5061c5.gif
Do not let a single sperm get through to that egg!
fbb166d7-874a-4acd-9e0b-d7565d2dd2a8.gif
[ Gunfire ]
dc7e2b4a-8a5b-4742-9978-cc8acf4c7f8e.gif
Um, should we be concerned about that scary bomb-laden one?
7eec0379-3aa1-440c-b714-cec64aa87d28.gif
Honey, let the men handle this.
2f20c08d-124b-47e4-88b2-3f65fd05ea2d.gif
I think we know a thing or two about --
d8b59681-e386-4257-b987-dca95063c915.gif
Ugh! Ready for all the responsibility
17e96d4b-8e48-4812-8002-7534ae112151.gif
with none of the credit?
388f6ca2-380d-43e5-bce1-2d7baf1b0252.gif
Let's Nancy Reagan this bitch.
51e7954c-4b6e-444c-9745-59649e3a112d.gif
Ah!
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[ Grunting ]
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Dammit! We can't stop them.
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We don't have the manpower!
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Rick: What about horsepower?
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[ Whinnying ]
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Sweet Lady Liberty.
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That sonofamare Rick has ended
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our centuries-long war with the CHUDs.
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- We made peace with the CHUDs! - The CHUDs are our buds!
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[ Sperm roaring ]
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Rícko! The hoofless -- they need us!
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Let's do this. CHUDily dudily, ho, ho, ho!
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CHUDs: CHUDily dudily, ho, ho, ho!
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Mom, I promise to use condoms, even when it's butt stuff.
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Okay, we have a lot to talk about tonight.
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Is this your heart?
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It's a play on, "Is this your card?"
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You don't have a heart,
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uh, but this is probably some kind of organelle,
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in charge of pumping endoplasmic reticulum
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throughout your membrane and therefore,
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relative to you, functions as a heart.
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So, I ask you again, is this your heart?
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[ Gasps ] Morty, look!
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I won't just be thrown away, Rick!
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The egg is mine!
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Sticky! It's all you, bud!
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Noooo!
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[ Crowd cheering ] Sticky!
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[ All gasping ] Fuck!
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We got a heartbeat. Screw that!
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That's a human life, and this is an election cycle.
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You have to do something! Nope.
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[ Beeping, rumbling ]
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It's space's problem now.
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Oh, this sucks.
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You're "Sports Illustrated"'s Kathy Ireland.
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You were with my husband, Blazen, when he died.
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Please tell me... was he wearing my thong?
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He probably told you not to tell me.
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He was ashamed of it, but he didn't need to be.
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I hope he was wearing it.
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Always be honest.
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Sometimes it will hurt people.
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Sometimes it will help. But always be honest.
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Huh. Yeah, yeah, he -- he was wearing it.
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Ew! That gross animal pig!
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So, trying to boil this all down,
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I-I want to say it's import--
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Shut up, Morty, I got my own epilogue.
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Oh, Rícko, I love you.
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[ Burps ] Prove it.
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[ Smacking and heavy breathing ]
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Oh, I love kissing those big ol' horse teeth.
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It's like lickin' tile.
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Oh! I swear...
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it's time someone made an honest man out of me.
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Whatever you need, the whole nine yards,
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you got it. [ Whinnies ]
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The thing is, Rícko... it's time.
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Oh, shit, oh, shit. It's time!
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Oh, my God, it's wonderful.
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Houston, permission to open the starboard panel.
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Houston: Permission granted.
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Firing breach now.
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Explorer, our readouts show a pressure spike.
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Everything alright?
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Honestly, sometimes staring back at Earth
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makes me think about the people I left behind --
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my wife, the son she had to anchor me there.
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I tried to be a parent, I really did,
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but I've come to find I'm only suited to be a spaceman.
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The nicest part of being up here
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is there are no reminders of the guilt
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I sometimes feel about abandoning my family.
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[ Indistinct babbling ]
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Sorry, Houston, I thought I heard something.
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Negative on our end.
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No, wait, there's something big
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Explorer, what is it? What the hell do you see?!
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My conscience.
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Explorer! Explorer! Aaah!
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Are you there? Aaaaaah!
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Geez. Not gonna miss that guy. Aaaaah!
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Right? So dramatic.
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Man: Did you get any of that?