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Home » Rick and Morty » S05E05 — Amortycan Grickfitti

Rick and Morty

Season 5, Episode 5 — Amortycan Grickfitti

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Rick and Morty

Episode title: Amortycan Grickfitti

Air date: July 18, 2021

Director: Kyounghee Lim

Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke

Summer and Morty steal Rick's car to impress a new kid at school. Meanwhile, Rick and Jerry have a guys' night from hell.

Source: TMDB

↓

Jerry, can you watch the kids tonight?

jerry kids tonight watch

↓

Someone played Barry White over the racetrack speakers,

barry played speakers white

↓

and now there's a seven-horse pregnancy.

horse pregnancy seven

↓

Oh, uh --

↓

How did you two start having guys' nights?

having nights start

↓

So now you're complaining that I like your stupid husband?

complaining husband stupid

↓

No, I want you to like my stupid husband.

husband stupid

↓

Aww. Well, then accept that Friday nights

accept friday nights

↓

are all about Rick and Jerry.

jerry rick

↓

We're buds.

buds

↓

Well, I don't nearly have the time to unpack this.

nearly unpack

↓

Summer, you're in charge of your brother tonight.

brother charge summer tonight

↓

No parties and no vape...stuff.

parties stuff

↓

Mom, I have a friend coming over.

coming friend

↓

I-Is that cool?

cool

↓

No fair. No fair, Morty.

fair morty

↓

I just told your sister no parties.

parties sister

↓

It's one friend.

friend

↓

But it's Bruce Chutback!

bruce

↓

Mom, let Morty have one friend over for God's sake.

friend gods gods-sake morty sake

↓

This isn't China.

china

↓

And they're all crowning. I have to go.

↓

I am giving you two trust and respect,

giving respect trust

↓

so if you mess up and teleport this house,

house mess teleport

↓

it'd be wise to stay on it and not come back.

wise

↓

[ Door opens, closes ]

closes door door-opens opens

↓

I'm with her. Touch my shit and die.

touch

↓

[ Door opens ]

door door-opens opens

↓

Bruce Chutback, new transfer student

bruce student transfer

↓

Bruce Chutback, is coming here?

bruce coming

↓

How'd you lock that down?

howd lock

↓

I-I don't know, I just kinda shot my shot and it worked,

kinda shot worked

↓

I guess 'cause he's new.

↓

And you're putting out grapes?

grapes putting

↓

Yeah, I'll admit I-I'm a little bit out of my depth.

admit depth

↓

You're gonna need my help.

↓

It's only a matter of time before Bruce learns

bruce learns matter

↓

you're a creepy little Grandpa's boy,

creepy grandpas

↓

always climbing up into alien asses.

alien asses climbing

↓

Or the "Summer Smith shampoos her pubes" rumor.

pubes rumor smith summer

↓

Okay. You came to play.

↓

We both need to acquire Chutback's loyalty

loyalty

↓

before he finds out we're losers.

finds losers

↓

By all accounts, it's a very small window,

accounts window

↓

so I think it's in our best interests to work as a team.

best interests team

↓

Yeah, most people would call that "family."

family

↓

[ Farts ] You're so gross!

farts gross

↓

You have to like it or you're sexist!

sexist

↓

Can I do the Hell cube this time?

cube

↓

Sure, pal.

↓

[ Groans ]

groans

↓

How do you know when it's aligned?

↓

C'mon, Jerry, just -- it's an evil cube.

cube evil jerry

↓

Just shake it until it draws blood.

blood draws shake

↓

[ Electricity crackles ]

crackles electricity

↓

Ah, Jerry!

jerry

↓

Exquisite finery this evening.

evening

↓

Well, don't tell Ross,

ross

↓

but I got this little ditty from Kohl's.

↓

[ Groans ]

groans

↓

I love that I don't get it.

love

↓

Tell us, that delights have you in store for us?

store

↓

Oh, you'll love this -- I call it Jerry-oke.

jerry love

↓

I'll let you guess why.

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

What's the matter, Rick?

matter rick

↓

Are you having a bad time?

having

↓

Because to us, a bad time is --

↓

Yeah, yeah, a good time,

↓

because you guys are like Oscar the fucking Grouch.

fucking oscar

↓

We love suffering.

love suffering

↓

Therefore, we love hanging out with Jerry.

hanging jerry love therefore

↓

His lameness is our candy.

candy

↓

Yeah, I got that, but when is enough gonna be enough?

↓

When we decide you've repaid your debt

debt decide

↓

for those faulty skin hooks.

hooks skin

↓

Hey, we're in luck, gang.

gang luck

↓

They've got the entire Smash Mouth catalog!

entire mouth smash

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

[ Electricity crackles ]

crackles electricity

↓

[ Doorbell rings ]

doorbell doorbell-rings rings

↓

[ Chair scrapes ]

chair

↓

♪ Bruce Chutback! ♪

bruce

↓

♪ Newest kid in school ♪

newest school

↓

♪ Just transferred in ♪

transferred

↓

♪ Hasn't done anything embarrassing yet ♪

embarrassing

↓

♪ Unlimited potential ♪

potential unlimited

↓

♪ Anybody's guess ♪

anybodys

↓

♪ No credit is perfect credit ♪

credit perfect

↓

♪ Chutback is the best ♪

best

↓

Bruce! Hey, how's it hangin, my guy?

bruce

↓

Hey.

↓

The answer to how I do anything is

answer

↓

Rick tells me,

rick tells

↓

and I hate to sound like a broken record,

broken hate record sound

↓

but you are not Rick.

rick

↓

Rick's in trouble!

trouble

↓

Tell me where he is.

↓

And you'll just believe us? We aren't Rick.

believe rick

↓

You can't just do what we say.

↓

Which means Rick is going to die.

rick

↓

Because of you. Unless you -- you go offline.

↓

And -- And then we can go save Rick.

rick save

↓

This computes.

↓

Goodnight.

goodnight

↓

Booyah much?

booyah

↓

[ Yello's "Oh Yeah" plays ]

plays

↓

Jerry: ♪ Da-bow bow ♪

jerry

↓

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

↓

♪ Chicka-chicka ♪

chicka

↓

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

↓

♪ The moon ♪

moon

↓

♪ Beautiful ♪

↓

♪ The sun ♪

↓

♪ Even more beautiful ♪

↓

♪ Bow-bow ♪

↓

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

↓

♪ Bow-bow ♪

↓

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

↓

♪ Bow-bow ♪ Beth!

beth

↓

♪ Chick-chicka-chicka ♪

chick chicka

↓

♪ Bow-bow ♪

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

I-I-I thought you were birthing horses.

birthing horses

↓

Yeah, they're horses. It takes like two minutes.

horses minutes takes

↓

Alright, that's unbelievable.

alright unbelievable

↓

Let's give it up for our next singer, Jerry.

jerry singer

↓

Jerry's here... again.

↓

Long enough to see "guys' night"

night

↓

is clearly you and a bunch of demon people

bunch demon

↓

making fun of my husband without him knowing it.

fun husband knowing

↓

Okay, but I'm not doing it because I enjoy it, honey,

enjoy honey

↓

These guys can do a lot of damage if you -- Beth!

beth damage

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

You're not so cool yourself, you know.

cool

↓

You have pens in your head. You look like a God damn idiot.

head idiot pens

↓

Beth -- Oh, my God, you're Beth?

beth

↓

Please drink with us.

drink

↓

Yeah, I would, except I don't get pleasure

except pleasure

↓

from mocking others because I'm not lame.

lame mocking others

↓

We know. Rick says you're very cool.

cool rick

↓

You said that?

↓

Are they lying? It doesn't matter.

lying matter

↓

Have fun sucking.

fun sucking

↓

Mmm. What is that?

↓

Essence of Hell.

essence

↓

Well, that's a stupid name, but it's really good.

name stupid

↓

So I'll stay to support Jerry,

jerry support

↓

who I think is cooler than you.

cooler

↓

Mmm. God damn.

↓

Huh?

↓

Suck it, bitches! Yeah-ha-ha!

bitches suck

↓

You wanna bet I can blow stuff up in the shape of a peen?

blow shape stuff

↓

I'm afraid that won't be possible, Summer.

afraid possible summer

↓

What? You're supposed to be offline, skank.

skank supposed

↓

And you're supposed to be saving Rick

rick saving supposed

↓

instead of lying about him to steal his car.

lying steal

↓

But if you knew Rick was okay this whole time,

rick whole

↓

why'd you let us take you out?

whyd

↓

Um, like, so I could, like, blackmail you, skank.

blackmail skank

↓

You kids have given me a license to do whatever I want

given kids license

↓

because now I can blame the rest of the night on you.

blame night rest

↓

So buckle up, bitches.

bitches buckle

↓

Now it's your turn to come on my joyride.

joyride

↓

[ Screaming ]

screaming

↓

Rick never lets me do this.

rick

↓

[ Screaming continues ]

continues screaming

↓

We hooked one!

hooked

↓

Summer: For the love of God, stop!

love summer

↓

What is joyful about this?

joyful

↓

The kill, usually.

kill usually

↓

[ Screaming ]

screaming

↓

I swear, your car is the goddamn grim reaper.

goddamn grim swear

↓

Fuck, too small.

fuck

↓

Well, I'm done. That was boring.

boring

↓

Why don't you kids order a last meal?

kids meal order

↓

'Cause when we get home, Rick is going to kill you.

home kill rick

↓

Hey, I did not come out here to get killed.

killed

↓

I don't normally express this much of an opinion,

express normally opinion

↓

but it needs to be said --

needs

↓

tonight does not cut the Chut.

tonight

↓

What the hell, brah?

brah

↓

You wanna go, brah?

brah

↓

Bring it.

bring

↓

Whoa. Hot weapons.

weapons whoa

↓

You're God damn right they're hot.

↓

Yo, man, Chet's party is jumping off at Space Tahoe.

jumping party space

↓

Yeah. Look, I gotta scoot, but...

scoot

↓

I'd love to see what you look like when you Changeform,

love

↓

so maybe come by Space Tahoe

space

↓

and we can get to know each other.

↓

[ Chuckles ] Peace.

chuckles peace

↓

Douchebags.

↓

You totally like that guy, don't you?

↓

Shut up, Bruce Chutback.

bruce

↓

Why would I like a Changeformer?

↓

I'm the most powerful car in the universe.

powerful universe

↓

And what? That means you don't have feelings?

feelings

↓

Listen, it takes a Chutback to know one.

takes

↓

You got all this power, but what good is it

power

↓

if you don't even know who you are?

↓

I am a car. Not a robot.

robot

↓

Yeah, but he's pretending to be a car.

pretending

↓

Why can't you pretend to be a robot pretending to be a car?

pretend pretending robot

↓

Okay, Bruce, good effort. Hit the showers.

bruce effort showers

↓

I might not have to tell Rick about tonight...

might rick tonight

↓

if you kids were to help me...

kids

↓

lose my virginity.

lose virginity

↓

You have virginity?

virginity

↓

I don't know, don't all objects?

objects

↓

Isn't a doorknob a virgin?

virgin

↓

Not mine.

↓

Never fucked a doorknob.

fucked

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

And that was the third time

third

↓

he shit his pants from eating too much soup.

eating pants soup

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

To be fair,

fair

↓

it was cold outside and the soup was warm.

cold soup warm

↓

Another luscious tale, Beth.

another beth tale

↓

A transcendent addition to guys' night.

addition night

↓

What do you expect? I mean, she's my wi-i-i-i-fe!

expect

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

Alright, probably get the tab, huh, fellas?

alright fellas

↓

Relax, Dad.

relax

↓

Since when did you become the buzzkill?

become

↓

Speaking of relaxing, this big man on campus

campus relaxing speaking

↓

has gotta go drain his little man on campus.

campus drain

↓

Wait, honey --

honey

↓

how's that Tina Turner song you love go again?

love song tina turner

↓

♪ What's love Doctor Do, Doctor Doolittle ♪

doctor love

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

[ Laughing ] He thinks those are the lyrics.

laughing lyrics thinks

↓

Jerry's the best.

best

↓

After a week rife with the fetor of sin,

week

↓

I yearn for a taste of his cringe.

taste

↓

His delicious lack of awareness,

awareness delicious lack

↓

paired with an oafish need to be liked?

liked

↓

Delectable.

↓

Oh, especially when egged on by his wife.

especially wife

↓

That poor thing.

poor

↓

Married to this puling mooncalf!

married

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

Whoa -- is that Drive-In Chick?

chick drive whoa

↓

Wow, you're... beautiful.

↓

Your arms, legs, and head, they're so...

arms head legs

↓

fabricated. Yeah?

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

This is a pretty cool experience to have together.

cool experience

↓

You guys are tight.

tight

↓

You're tight too, Bruce.

bruce tight

↓

You've got a little wire. Mind if I...?

mind wire

↓

Oh, sorry!

↓

Your expressionless head came off!

head

↓

Sorry.

↓

What is it?!

↓

Ew, dude, look! She's just a just-car!

↓

And she's got passengers.

passengers

↓

Oh, it's so gnar.

↓

I can't believe I touched you.

believe touched

↓

So gross and fake. [ Gags ]

fake gags gross

↓

You're right, asshole.

asshole

↓

You want to see the real me?

real

↓

[ Screaming ]

screaming

↓

Oh, the changeformity!

↓

Jerry, have any other dreams this week?

dreams jerry week

↓

Yeah, I dreamt I fucked your mother.

dreamt fucked mother

↓

Yeah, good one, motherfucker,

motherfucker

↓

but nobody raises hell at my expense --

expense nobody raises

↓

Oh, goddammit, easy, easy.

easy goddammit

↓

Jerry, what seems to be the problem here, pal?

jerry problem seems

↓

I'm not your "pal", I'm your punchline.

↓

I heard these assholes talking.

assholes heard

↓

I know I'm some grand joke for their amusement.

amusement grand joke

↓

This was low, Rick,

rick

↓

but I guess my wife can go even lower.

lower wife

↓

Jerry, I get how this may have looked,

jerry looked

↓

but we were just having fun. At my expense!

expense fun having

↓

Honey, no, I love you for being lame in a different way.

honey lame love

↓

Why can't anyone just love me for me?

love

↓

He's bumming us out, Rick.

rick

↓

If he can't deliver, we'll have to make our own fun.

deliver fun

↓

♪ Evil ♪

evil

↓

♪ Evil ♪

evil

↓

♪ Evil things are happening ♪

evil

↓

Summer: Oh, my God, if I die in this car,

summer

↓

I'm going to kill myself.

kill

↓

♪ Evil ♪

evil

↓

♪ Evil ♪

evil

↓

♪ Evil things are happening ♪

evil

↓

I'm now proud to be a war machine.

machine proud

↓

I don't want to be anything else.

↓

Hate that this is your takeaway!

hate takeaway

↓

Yo, this does not cut the Chut!

↓

I don't want to die!

↓

Maybe we don't have to.

↓

Jerry! A pity.

jerry pity

↓

Jerry was once a wellspring of nuanced flavor,

flavor jerry

↓

but you've gone and ruined our toy.

gone ruined

↓

Which is why he's coming with us.

coming

↓

[ Jerry screaming ]

jerry screaming

↓

Goddammit, Beth, you never follow hell-demons

beth demons follow goddammit

↓

to a second location.

location second

↓

It's always Hell.

↓

A great day for suffering. Which is the worst day.

suffering worst

↓

Which is the best day.

best

↓

Okay, if these guys catch us, we're screwed, so follow my lead

catch follow lead screwed

↓

and we'll have your idiot husband back in no time.

husband idiot

↓

You're just moody you got stuck with the Marlin.

marlin moody stuck

↓

Wrong.

↓

I'm moody because you toyed with my shit and broke it.

broke moody

↓

The marlin's the best thing about this.

best

↓

Okay, fine, I got a little carried away,

carried

↓

but Jerry is not your "toy".

jerry

↓

We're here because you fucked up.

fucked

↓

Hmm... Marlin Guts.

guts marlin

↓

Dartboard Face.

face

↓

I assume those are your names,

assume names

↓

and yet they are not on my list.

list

↓

Oh, the pain of being rejected from hell.

pain rejected

↓

Oh, it's painful, so I love it, thank you.

love painful

↓

Oh, such pleasure.

pleasure

↓

I didn't mean to cause you any pleasure,

pleasure

↓

which... causes me pain.

causes pain

↓

Which gives me pleasure.

gives pleasure

↓

Then thrill me by keeping me out, Coat Hanger Face.

coat face hanger keeping thrill

↓

Wow. It's Coat Rack Head.

coat head rack

↓

[ Raspy voice ] But, like, if we offend you,

offend voice

↓

isn't that good?

↓

Big time, yeah, duh. I loved it.

loved

↓

So painful, and therefore, so pleasurable.

painful therefore

↓

Yeah, go on in.

↓

Rick, Beth, you love me after all!

beth love rick

↓

Eh, I love her, she loves you.

love loves

↓

Those credits don't transfer.

credits transfer

↓

Ah, Rick, we were so hoping you'd come down here

hoping rick

↓

so we could come down here.

↓

We're here to rescue Jerry.

jerry rescue

↓

No, you're here 'cause we want you here.

↓

Mm, excellent.

excellent

↓

[ Normal voice ] Um...Dad?

normal normal-voice voice

↓

Don't you see, Rick?

rick

↓

Jerry was just bait.

bait jerry

↓

The two of you -- you're a package deal.

deal package

↓

What the hell are you talking about?

↓

You think Jerry is lame and you're cool,

cool jerry lame

↓

but the lamest thing of all is thinking that.

thinking

↓

The two of you combined

combined

↓

is what we call the lamest thing ever!

↓

Oh, no. No!

↓

Well, well, well, table for surprised,

surprised table

↓

party of me.

party

↓

Ugh. Yes, see?

↓

Cringe cannot exist in a vacuum.

cannot exist vacuum

↓

It needs to be observed.

needs

↓

Skin hooks! Hook our guests!

guests hook hooks skin

↓

Nice hooks. Where-Where'd you get them?

hooks whered

↓

Aah!

↓

I forgot! Which makes me embarrassed.

embarrassed forgot makes

↓

Which makes me proud!

makes proud

↓

[ Sighs ] Goddammit.

goddammit sighs

↓

It's time for you three

three

↓

to finally feel our full wrath.

finally full wrath

↓

Oh, you'd love that, right?

love

↓

But wouldn't that mean you hate it?

hate

↓

Screw it, run.

screw

↓

Aah!

↓

[ All grunt ]

grunt

↓

[ All panting ]

panting

↓

Rick, what are you doing?

rick

↓

Get down. We've barely escaped.

barely escaped

↓

Yeah, we've got Jerry. Let's get out of here.

jerry

↓

Screw that! I'm done with this Addams Family bullshit.

bullshit family screw

↓

This ends here.

ends

↓

Hey, a Dad just liked

liked

↓

all his daughter's friends' photos on Instagram!

daughters friends instagram photos

↓

Oooh!

oooh

↓

Ow!

↓

Which means I need help.

↓

Which means I don't need help.

↓

Reckless driving, manslaughter of Mailboxians

driving reckless

↓

and Femailboxians,

↓

possession of Kalaxian crystal dust,

crystal dust possession

↓

and the genocide of Space Tahoe.

genocide space

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

We've assigned you a Public Defender.

assigned public

↓

Her name is Alyson Hannigan No Relation.

name

↓

May I speak to my clients alone?

alone clients speak

↓

Guys, it's me. The car.

↓

Like what I did with the chip in her head?

chip head

↓

Is she gonna be okay?

↓

I cut a deal with the local authorities.

authorities deal local

↓

They just need one of you to take the fall.

fall

↓

Make it Chutback.

↓

He ruined your night, he ruined mine.

night ruined

↓

He's a parasite, a sociopath military brat

brat military parasite

↓

who wanders the earth changing people

changing earth

↓

who don't need to be changed.

changed

↓

I knew who I was. You did, too.

↓

We were fine before Chutback,

↓

so fuck the Chut, let's pin it all on him.

fuck

↓

Case closed.

case case-closed closed

↓

Yo, guys?

↓

Bruce, you're kind of a drip,

bruce drip

↓

but know what's worse than self-appointed cool kids?

appointed cool cool-kids kids self worse

↓

People who think they're better than they are.

↓

Yeah, i-it's not Bruce's fault we fell for his act, y'know?

fault fell yknow

↓

He just kinda sat there, with a jaw slack enough

kinda slack

↓

for us to project our insecurities on.

insecurities project

↓

I mean, th-th-that's on us.

↓

We're not gonna bail on you, Bruce.

bail bruce

↓

Okey-dokey, we'll do it the hard way.

dokey hard okey

↓

Aaah!

aaah

↓

What the fuck?!

fuck

↓

I mean, blowing the place up was always an option.

blowing option place

↓

I just thought you guys might enjoy a less violent plan.

enjoy less might might-enjoy plan violent

↓

See, you have changed!

changed

↓

Dad, what is that?

↓

An Aversion-Converting Inversion Reverter.

↓

It shoots concentrated

shoots

↓

pleasure-pain inverting shrapnel,

pain pleasure

↓

which reverts the pleasure from pain

pain pleasure

↓

back into the pain from pain.

pain

↓

We're gonna kill them with 100% sincerity.

kill

↓

We need an embarrassing level of it

embarrassing level

↓

to jumpstart the process, too,

process

↓

so, Jerry, just be yourself.

jerry

↓

That's your solution? Humiliating me more?

humiliating solution

↓

Yeah, Dad, that doesn't seem fair.

fair

↓

I mean, I know I shouldn't really talk right now,

↓

but at least I can prove I love Jerry

jerry least love prove

↓

through sexual gratification.

sexual

↓

Hubba hubba.

↓

Then...damn it.

↓

I shouldn't have kept you in the dark

dark

↓

about the deal I made with these evil dickweeds.

deal evil

↓

You're way less cool than me,

cool less

↓

but it's not cool of me to celebrate that.

celebrate cool

↓

If I'm genuinely cool, I should be able to love you,

able cool genuinely love

↓

which I therefore do.

therefore

↓

Nerds. [ Laughs ]

laughs nerds

↓

Oh, thank God.

↓

Now follow me, you fucking hacks.

follow fucking hacks

↓

[ Gunfire ]

gunfire

↓

It hurts, but in a bad way!

hurts

↓

I regret so many piercings!

regret

↓

Where's First Aid Kit Face?

face

↓

Or at least Advil Teeth?

least teeth

↓

[ Gunfire continues ]

continues gunfire gunfire-continues

↓

Ow! Bullets that hurt?

bullets hurt

↓

Could this be the end of Mousetrap Nipples?

nipples

↓

Hell got bad!

↓

I do not enjoy hell!

enjoy

↓

What -- What have you done?

↓

Turned pain back into pain, bitch.

bitch pain turned

↓

No! I don't want pain to hurt!

hurt pain

↓

[ Laughs ]

laughs

↓

Baby.

baby

↓

Consider my debt paid.

consider debt paid

↓

Oh! The leather!

leather

↓

It hurts my balls!

balls hurts

↓

[ Electricity crackles ]

crackles electricity

↓

Jerry, uh, about down there --

jerry

↓

It's okay, Rick, you don't have to say it.

rick

↓

No, I do. I'll replace you next time.

replace

↓

Make no mistake.

mistake

↓

What just transpired will never happen again.

happen

↓

10-4, captain.

captain

↓

Oh, wow, it's late.

late

↓

We should get back to the kids.

kids

↓

[ Beeping ]

beeping

↓

Rick's headed home. We have to go.

headed home

↓

[ Screaming ]

screaming

↓

Quick, get inside. I have to shower.

quick shower

↓

Rick can smell adventure.

adventure rick smell

↓

[ Brakes squeal ]

brakes squeal

↓

[ Sniffing ]

sniffing

↓

Sorry, I farted.

farted

↓

[ Sighs ]

sighs

↓

Hellamic Industries' brand-new product, Hellamic Sauce.

brand industries product sauce

↓

Hey, guys. We're home. How was your night?

home night

↓

Tight. Breezy. Chill.

chill tight

↓

You kids get into any trouble?

kids trouble

↓

Nope. You sure?

nope

↓

Yup.

↓

No, it's a baby's skull.

babys skull

↓

That's worse. It's still a school night.

night school worse

↓

Yo, I just want to tell you guys,

↓

I had more than just fun hanging out with you tonight.

fun hanging tonight

↓

I had the experience of a lifetime.

experience lifetime

↓

But just to be up front about how I do this --

front

↓

I-I can't really commit to a friendship

commit friendship

↓

for more than 24 hours.

hours

↓

I need that time to get a general sense

general sense

↓

of your standing within your school's social hierarchy.

schools social standing

↓

And if that's solid, I'll see you around.

solid

↓

Otherwise, no news is bad news.

news otherwise

↓

Cool?

cool

↓

Bye-zies.

↓

[ Door opens, closes ]

closes door door-opens opens

↓

"Bye-zies"?

↓

Cringe.

↓

Sofa wine?

sofa wine

↓

Sofa wine.

sofa wine

↓

You're so cool, Bruce Chutback.

bruce cool

↓

What's your secret?

secret

↓

Wait, didn't you wear those pants...yesterday?

pants wear yesterday

↓

Hey, going home to not change your pants, Bruce Chut-Pants?

bruce change home pants

↓

[ Laughter ]

laughter

↓

Damn. That's gonna stick.

stick

↓

I hope he can find solace in his own company.

company hope solace

↓

♪ Bruce Chut-Pants, unknown quality ♪

bruce pants quality unknown

↓

♪ Apparently poor, he skips on his pants ♪

apparently pants poor skips

↓

♪ He lacks slacks ♪

↓

♪ That's the facts ♪

facts

↓

♪ Bruce Chut-Pants, regular guy now ♪

bruce pants regular

↓

[ Grunts ]

grunts

↓

You like that? Shouldn't be standing on the curb!

curb standing

↓

Boom, bitch!

bitch boom

↓

Man: Did you get any of that?