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Home » Detroiters » S01E01 — Pilot

Detroiters

Season 1, Episode 1 — Pilot

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Detroiters

Episode title: Pilot

Air date: February 07, 2017

Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson

Best friends Sam and Tim work on an advertising pitch for Chrysler, but they run into problems with the company's vice president of marketing.

Source: TMDB

↓

- * Next time

↓

* When they ask you

↓

* Where you're from *

↓

* You gon' say Detroit city *

city detroit detroit-city

↓

* When we get back on our feet, yeah *

feet

↓

* Yeah

↓

- * Come on, everybody

everybody

↓

- Hey, folks, it's me, Eddie Champagne,

champagne eddie eddie-champagne folks

↓

the hot tub king of Detroit.

detroit king

↓

It's me, Eddie Champagne,

champagne eddie eddie-champagne

↓

the hot tub king of Detroit.

detroit king

↓

Hey, folks, it's me, Eddie Champagne,

champagne eddie eddie-champagne folks

↓

the hot tub king of Detroit.

detroit king

↓

- You think the water's too hot?

waters

↓

- It'll be fine.

itll

↓

- Okay, people.

↓

- All right, let's make commercial magic.

commercial magic

↓

- Eddie Champagne, hot tub commercial,

champagne commercial eddie eddie-champagne

↓

scene ten, take one.

scene

↓

- And...action.

action

↓

- Hey, folks, it's me,

folks

↓

Eddie Champagne,

champagne eddie eddie-champagne

↓

the hot tub king of Detroit.

detroit king

↓

If you don't like my prices,

prices

↓

I'm gonna be the one in hot water.

water

↓

Oh, God!

↓

Oh! Aah! Oh, God! Oh, God!

↓

- Lea, tell me we got that.

↓

- We got it. - Oh, my God!

↓

It's so hot!

↓

- Oh, Ed, I'm telling ya, that reaction's

reactions telling

↓

gonna sell a lot of hot tubs.

sell tubs

↓

- Oh, God.

↓

- It's Felipe. They're at the Chop House.

chop house

↓

Just got their steaks. We got to go.

steaks

↓

- That's a wrap! Great job, everybody!

everybody wrap

↓

Eddie, you nailed it!

eddie nailed

↓

- Thanks, guys!

thanks

↓

*

↓

You guys are the ad kings of Detroit!

detroit kings

↓

*

↓

- * Yeah, I'm talkin' to you *

talkin

↓

* Don't just sit there feeling blue *

blue feeling

↓

* When you feel there's nothing you can do *

↓

* You just pick yourself right off the ground *

ground pick

↓

* Get on up and turn around

↓

* Hey, hey

↓

- Right over there.

↓

I pay for the coffee.

coffee

↓

I pick up the dog, and I tell the cop

pick

↓

that I'm with animal control, undercover.

animal animal-control control undercover

↓

I still have the dog.

↓

Heck yeah, we got a deal.

deal heck

↓

Carter?

carter

↓

Carter Grant, VP of marketing, Chrysler?

carter carter-grant chrysler grant marketing

↓

- Uh, yeah. Have we met?

↓

- We're about to. Sam Duvet.

duvet

↓

- Uh, hi, Sam.

↓

- Tim Cramblin, Cramblin Advertising.

advertising cramblin cramblin-advertising

↓

- Hello, Tim.

↓

Are you Hank Cramblin's son?

hank

↓

- That I am, yeah. - Oh.

↓

- You know Sally Pomerantz?

pomerantz sally

↓

Head of creative for Pomerantz and Klein.

creative head klein pomerantz

↓

- Hank Cramblin, what a legend.

cramblin hank legend

↓

How is your father?

father

↓

- He went insane. He lives in a nuthouse now.

insane lives

↓

- Oh.

↓

Well, the next time you see him,

↓

you tell him Sally Pomerantz from Chicago said hello.

chicago pomerantz sally

↓

- He won't understand that.

↓

Talking to him is like talking to Bugs Bunny.

bugs bunny

↓

- Well, then you tell him, "What's up, Doc?"

↓

- Thank you.

↓

That'll mean a lot to him.

thatll

↓

- Sally Pomerantz.

pomerantz sally

↓

Just as lovely

lovely

↓

as I'd always imagined.

imagined

↓

I mean, wrong color but...

color

↓

just as lovely.

lovely

↓

- Yeah, he imagines everyone black.

black

↓

- I suppose it's because I'm black.

black suppose

↓

- Oh, that could be. - Could be.

↓

- That could... - Could...

↓

both: Be.

↓

- Carter, we are on our way out

carter

↓

because we already ate here.

↓

Look at these stains on our ties.

stains ties

↓

- Look at the receipt.

receipt

↓

- I'm guessing all the agencies are in town

guessing town

↓

because you're hearing pitches for your new campaign.

campaign hearing

↓

Well, Cramblin would love

cramblin love

↓

to throw our hat in the ring on that.

ring throw

↓

- Oh.

↓

Well, have I seen your work?

seen

↓

- Oh, you sure have.

↓

Delta Airlines, Budweiser--

airlines

↓

- No, no, no. Not your father's.

fathers

↓

Yours.

↓

- Oh, uh...

↓

- How about Smith's baby and teen kid furniture?

baby furniture smiths smiths-baby teen

↓

Harry Dean, the DUI lawyer?

dean harry lawyer

↓

Frank Franklin Insurance?

frank franklin insurance

↓

- Oh, I've seen that one.

seen

↓

* 313-555-0197

↓

Frank Franklin.

frank franklin

↓

- That's so us. - That's us!

↓

- No, it's, uh--

↓

that's a very catchy tune, yeah.

catchy tune

↓

But, you know, I'm just not sure that your firm

firm

↓

is what we're looking for right now, gentlemen.

gentlemen looking

↓

- Oh, sure, 'cause you're probably gonna go

↓

with these fine folks from Chicago

chicago folks

↓

'cause that's where you make your cars.

cars

↓

Wait a minute. No, you don't.

minute

↓

Where do they make their cars, Sam?

cars

↓

- Right here in Detroit.

detroit

↓

- Come on, Carter.

carter

↓

- You make your cars here.

cars

↓

Make your ads here.

↓

Fellas, it took a lot of balls coming in here like this.

balls coming fellas

↓

- Well, we were already eating here, so...

eating

↓

- Receipt, so...

receipt

↓

- Right, the receipt, yeah.

receipt

↓

Um...

↓

tell you what.

↓

Why don't you come by tomorrow?

tomorrow

↓

Hmm? 8:00.

↓

I can't at 8:00. I just can't.

↓

I have dinner with my wife, and I can't cancel.

cancel dinner wife

↓

- Oh, no, I meant a.m.

meant

↓

- a.m., yeah. Makes way more sense.

makes sense

↓

- Yeah. - A little early.

early

↓

See you in the morning. Thank you.

morning

↓

- Okay.

↓

- Gentlemen.

gentlemen

↓

Mrs. Pomerantz.

pomerantz

↓

- Ms.

↓

- Oh.

↓

- Ooh!

↓

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

↓

Hoo!

↓

Got a lot of work to do.

↓

- Oh, no, there he goes.

↓

- Oh, I was so scared in there.

scared

↓

- I know you were. You were great, though.

↓

You honestly were great.

↓

Thanks, buddy. You were great too.

buddy thanks thanks-buddy

↓

- No, it's not 'cause--

↓

The food is good.

food

↓

- Yeah. Leave room for desser--

room

↓

- Shh. Let it go.

↓

I'm right here, bud.

↓

I'm right here, buddy.

buddy

↓

- Okay, Chrysler.

chrysler

↓

Chrysler.

chrysler

↓

- You'll love the visor in your brand-new Chrysler.

brand chrysler love

↓

- If I don't get a Chrysler,

chrysler

↓

I'm gonna cry, sir.

↓

- Jesus Chrysler!

chrysler jesus

↓

What a car!

↓

- I'm taking off for the day,

↓

unless there's anything you need,

↓

anything at all, Big Hank.

hank

↓

- Ms. Portnadi, Hank was my father.

father hank portnadi

↓

I'm Tim, remember?

remember

↓

- Whoops.

whoops

↓

I dropped my pencil.

dropped pencil

↓

*

↓

Can I just leave it there?

↓

- Yes, please. - For the love of God, do.

love

↓

- Yes. - Night, Sheila.

night sheila

↓

- Okay, Chrysler. Chrysler.

chrysler

↓

- You guys ready to edit the hot tub commercial?

commercial edit ready

↓

- Lea, that's small potatoes.

potatoes

↓

We're working on a big old potato.

potato working

↓

You can go ahead and do it yourself.

ahead go-ahead

↓

- Lea, you're in film school.

film school

↓

I think you can edit

edit

↓

a hot tub commercial by yourself.

commercial

↓

- Thanks, guys.

thanks

↓

I will not let you down.

↓

- Uh...

↓

all right, let's stop screwing around.

screwing

↓

It's 12 hours till the pitch.

hours pitch till

↓

Be nicer. Drive a Chrysler.

chrysler drive nicer

↓

You suck. - No, you suck.

suck

↓

- You got nothing.

↓

You got nothing. - I--everything.

↓

- You got nothing.

↓

*

↓

!

↓

*

↓

- Foul! - That's on me!

foul

↓

- * You're maybe thinking *

thinking

↓

* About being the better man

↓

- Foul! - * But you're still young *

foul young

↓

* You don't want to take that step *

step

↓

* You can't run, you can't lie, you can't hide *

hide

↓

- Oh, travel! Oh, travel!

travel

↓

- Whoa! - Whoa.

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

- I can't believe that didn't break the window.

believe break window

↓

- I know.

↓

It's almost like it's unbreakable.

↓

- Stapler. - Stapler.

stapler

↓

- Oh! - Oh! Oh!

↓

- Oh, my God!

↓

Oh, man!

↓

- Ninja throw!

ninja throw

↓

- Wow, didn't even.

↓

It didn't even.

↓

both: Coffeepot! Coffeepot!

↓

Coffeepot!

↓

- Go!

↓

- Oh! - Yes!

↓

*

↓

*

↓

Candleholder!

candleholder

↓

- Candleholder!

candleholder

↓

- Candleholder. - Candleholder!

candleholder

↓

- Candleholder. - Candleholder!

candleholder

↓

- Candleholder.

candleholder

↓

both: Oh!

↓

- Oh!

↓

- So it did break.

break

↓

- It didn't break. It shattered.

break shattered

↓

*

↓

One...

↓

both: Two...

↓

*

↓

- Whoa.

whoa

↓

Oh!

↓

Old diet pills.

diet pills

↓

These things were basically speed.

speed

↓

- Huh.

↓

- Expired January 1974.

expired january

↓

- You think it's safe to take some of those?

safe

↓

- I don't know.

↓

Open on dad driving through the rain

driving open rain

↓

in a brand-new Chrysler 300.

brand chrysler

↓

- Across town, his daughter walks into a tattoo parlor.

daughter parlor tattoo town walks

↓

- Hands a pile of cash to the man at the counter.

cash counter hands pile

↓

- Biker-type dude, like, a real mean guy,

real type

↓

like, a neo-Nazi.

nazi

↓

- Yeah, she points to the sign

points sign

↓

that says "Nipple Piercing,"

nipple piercing

↓

takes off her shirt, pulls down her bra.

pulls shirt takes

↓

We see everything.

↓

- Yes.

↓

- Cut to...

↓

- Dad races across town.

races town

↓

- Close-up.

close

↓

- Biker's meaty, hairy hand

bikers hairy hand meaty

↓

grabs the daughter's nipple.

daughters grabs nipple

↓

- Pulls it out as far as it'll go.

itll pulls

↓

- Oh, it's farther than you think.

farther

↓

- Yeah, it's way farther, man.

farther

↓

- Biker pierces the nipple. Daughter moans.

daughter moans nipple

↓

Drop of red blood rolls down her milky black breast.

black blood breast drop milky rolls

↓

- No, milky white breast. - I pictured black.

black breast milky pictured white

↓

- Keep going. - In the reflection,

reflection

↓

the drop of blood rolling down the daughter's breast,

blood breast daughters drop rolling

↓

we see the father standing in the window.

father standing window

↓

- He sighs.

sighs

↓

He smiles.

smiles

↓

Says, "My baby's all growed up.

babys growed

↓

Got to let her fly."

↓

- Chrysler.

chrysler

↓

Time to fly.

↓

Yes. - Yes.

↓

Yes. - Yes!

↓

Yes!

↓

- You know, the more I think about it,

↓

I don't think we can show a boob in a commercial.

boob commercial

↓

- No. No, we can't.

↓

They wouldn't let us air

↓

that nursing home commercial with a boob in it.

boob commercial home nursing nursing-home

↓

And that was just an accident.

accident

↓

Two more beers.

beers

↓

- You got it.

↓

Two beers.

beers

↓

Hot or cold?

cold

↓

- Well, cold.

cold

↓

- Come on, man.

↓

*

↓

- Oh, it's time for Eddie's commercial.

commercial

↓

Uh, Judy, can you turn on the TV?

judy

↓

- Sure.

↓

- And that's one murder that... had a happy ending.

ending happy happy-ending murder

↓

We'll be right back with sports and weather after this.

sports weather

↓

- Hi, folks, it's me, Eddie Champagne,

champagne eddie eddie-champagne folks

↓

the hot tub king of Detroit.

detroit king

↓

The hot tub king of--

king

↓

The hot tub king of Detroit.

detroit king

↓

- Oh...no.

↓

- And all the king's horses and all the king's men

horses kings

↓

couldn't put Eddie together again.

eddie

↓

- Oh!

↓

- Did he just eat that off the ground?

ground

↓

Ew!

↓

This is not the commercial.

commercial

↓

- My God, you're beautiful.

↓

You really knock me out, you know that?

knock

↓

You wouldn't want to...

↓

ever kiss a guy like me, would you?

kiss

↓

No. Probably got a boyfriend.

boyfriend

↓

He's young and...virile.

young

↓

I must disgust you.

disgust must

↓

*

↓

Wish I would have met you when I was 18.

wish

↓

*

↓

I was amazing then.

amazing

↓

- Eddie Champagne, the hot tub king of Detroit.

champagne detroit eddie eddie-champagne king

↓

*

↓

- Wow.

↓

Normally I don't comment

comment normally

↓

on the commercials,

commercials

↓

but that was very bad.

↓

- Oh, we're in trouble.

trouble

↓

- Looks like rain is headed our way, but...

headed rain

↓

- Let's get out of here.

↓

Thank you, Judy. - Thanks, Judy.

judy thanks

↓

- You want a doggie bag for your beers?

beers doggie

↓

- That's a dumb idea.

dumb idea

↓

*

↓

We're dead.

dead

↓

Eddie's gonna kill us,

kill

↓

and we have got nothing on this Chrysler pitch.

chrysler pitch

↓

- We'll come up with something.

↓

- No, we won't, man. We're dumb.

dumb

↓

- Hey.

↓

Hey.

↓

You remember when we first took over your dad's company

company dads remember

↓

and everybody quit and all the clients left

clients everybody left quit

↓

all in the same day?

↓

- Yeah, of course I remember.

course remember

↓

- Well, you remember, like, a year later,

remember

↓

we got our first client?

client

↓

- Sure, Stan from the carpet store.

carpet stan store

↓

- Yeah, what'd he want to call himself?

whatd

↓

- What'd he want to call himself?

whatd

↓

- Big Stan the Carpet Guy.

carpet stan

↓

- Big Stan the Carpet Man.

carpet stan

↓

- 'Cause it rhymed.

↓

- 'Cause it rhymed.

↓

- Yes.

↓

We did it then.

↓

We'll do it...

↓

- Now. - Again, buddy.

buddy

↓

It's--'cause it rhymes with "then."

rhymes

↓

- It's got to rhyme for it to work.

rhyme

↓

- That's the whole point of it.

point whole whole-point

↓

Oh, here come the trucks! - Here we go!

trucks

↓

Here come the big rigs!

↓

- Here we go, Big Steve. - Go get 'em, pal!

steve

↓

- Whoo! Thataway, Clint!

whoo

↓

- You the man, Steve!

steve

↓

Oh, happy birthday!

birthday happy happy-birthday

↓

Big Lou!

↓

- Lou!

↓

- Oh, and Wolf Man. - Oh, Wolf Man!

wolf

↓

- Yeah, I know it's a long shot,

shot

↓

but I really want to nail this Chrysler pitch.

chrysler nail pitch

↓

- I know. We will, pal.

↓

- Yeah, not just for us.

↓

For everyone, for the whole city.

city whole whole-city

↓

Go, Kathy.

kathy

↓

- Norman Drummond!

norman

↓

- I mean, Chrysler isn't just a company.

chrysler company

↓

It's--it's these guys.

↓

It's our friends. It's our family.

family friends

↓

- Yeah, every Chrysler

chrysler

↓

is the city of Detroit on four wheels.

city detroit four four-wheels wheels

↓

*

↓

That's it.

↓

- That's the pitch.

pitch

↓

- That's the pitch. We got the pitch.

pitch

↓

- We got the pitch, buddy. - We got the pitch!

buddy pitch

↓

- We got the pitch! - We got the pitch!

pitch

↓

- We got the pitch!

pitch

↓

- And that's why every Chrysler

chrysler

↓

is like the city of Detroit on four wheels.

city detroit four four-wheels wheels

↓

- On four wheels. - On four wheels.

four four-wheels wheels

↓

- Yes. - Gentlemen.

gentlemen

↓

Your morning hot dogs arrived.

arrived dogs morning

↓

- Thank you, Sheila.

sheila

↓

- Knock 'em dead, Big Hank.

dead hank knock

↓

- I don't...

↓

*

↓

Well, there she is.

↓

- As I live and breathe.

breathe live

↓

- Hey, did you guys like the commercial?

commercial

↓

- No! - No, Lea, you tanked it.

tanked

↓

- You shit the bed. - Absolutely blew it.

absolutely blew

↓

- You blew it! - And it sucked!

blew sucked

↓

*

↓

- Here we go.

↓

You ready?

ready

↓

- Sure am.

↓

We did it, pal.

↓

- We sure did.

↓

- I paid for the coffee, I picked up the dog,

coffee paid picked

↓

and I told the cop I was with animal control, undercover.

animal animal-control control undercover

↓

Oh!

↓

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

↓

Let's get the hell out of here. - Uh-uh.

↓

Let's dump his body in the woods

body dump woods

↓

and walk in there like nothing happened.

happened walk

↓

- What if he wakes up and sees us?

sees wakes

↓

*

↓

- Leave the bag out. - Yeah.

↓

It'll just be like a piece of bag out there.

itll piece

↓

Nobody's gonna ask anything.

nobodys

↓

- No, I know.

↓

- He's not answering.

answering

↓

I'm so sorry.

↓

He has never missed a meeting like this.

meeting missed

↓

- It's fine.

↓

Just very unprofessional.

unprofessional

↓

- Let me call his cell phone.

cell cell-phone phone

↓

What are you gonna call it?

↓

What?

↓

- You have to do stand-up.

stand

↓

- I will, I promise.

promise

↓

- That's weird.

weird

↓

Someone's coming out of the woods

coming someones woods

↓

with a bag of chips on their head.

chips head

↓

- You know, that is weird.

weird

↓

- That's Carter Grant! - Oh, my God!

carter carter-grant grant

↓

- Call 911! - Hold his head! Hold his head!

head

↓

- Over there!

↓

- I still have that dog.

↓

- Oh!

↓

- Hey, Carter.

carter

↓

- Hey. - Hey!

↓

Remember us?

remember

↓

Like, when's the last time

whens

↓

you remember seeing us?

remember seeing

↓

- At--at the steak house.

house steak

↓

- Yes, because that's the last place we saw you.

place

↓

- Great. - We--we just--

↓

we brought you these.

brought

↓

- Oh. Thank you.

↓

- We just want to say... - Yeah.

↓

- You know, get well.

↓

Feel better. - Thanks.

thanks

↓

- And, uh, also, you know,

↓

we've got a great pitch for you,

pitch

↓

when you're ready to hear it.

ready

↓

- Ah.

↓

I'm sorry, guys.

↓

I really appreciate you coming down here,

appreciate coming

↓

but, um, we ended up going with Pomerantz and Klein.

ended klein pomerantz

↓

Why didn't you wait until you heard our pitch?

heard pitch

↓

- Honestly, I only scheduled that meeting

meeting scheduled

↓

out of respect for your father.

father respect

↓

- Well, we'd still love for you to hear the pitch.

love pitch

↓

Who knows? You may reconsider.

knows reconsider

↓

- Well, fellas, with all due respect,

fellas respect

↓

you do late-night commercials for furniture stores.

commercials furniture late late-night night stores

↓

Don't you think Chrysler's a little bit out of your league?

league

↓

You know?

↓

Out of our league?

league

↓

- Oh, man!

↓

- Now you're definitely gonna hear the pitch.

pitch

↓

- No, I'm not.

↓

- Yes, you are gonna hear the pitch.

pitch

↓

We worked the pitch, and you're gonna hear it.

pitch worked

↓

- You're not gonna pitch to me in a hospital!

hospital pitch

↓

- Uh-huh. - Open on...

open

↓

both: Joe Louis' fist.

fist louis

↓

- Mm-mm. No, no, no, no, no. - We see an auto worker

auto worker

↓

driving through town, looking at the sights he knows.

driving knows looking sights town

↓

- The people, the places.

places

↓

- His friends, his dad. - I'm not listening.

friends listening

↓

Mm-mm.

↓

He's not listening. He doesn't want to hear it.

listening

↓

Very well, I'm pulling the plug on your ass.

plug pulling

↓

- Do it! Kill him! - Wait!

kill

↓

- Say good night, pal! - Bye!

night

↓

- I'm not on life support, you idiot!

idiot life life-support support

↓

- Yeah, I'm sorry.

↓

I'm sorry, okay?

↓

Let's just all calm down here a little bit, okay?

calm

↓

- I'm sorry. - Okay, we're all sorry.

↓

Best of luck, guys.

best luck

↓

It's nothing personal. It's just business.

business personal

↓

- It's just business. - We understand.

business

↓

Just business.

business

↓

- And this is the business we're in.

business

↓

- Yes. For sure. - Yes.

↓

- Every Chrysler is like the city of Detroit

chrysler city detroit

↓

on four wheels. - Come on, man.

four four-wheels wheels

↓

- And this is the top, top

↓

of the bottom line.

bottom bottom-line line

↓

- Now, this one--

↓

this one's a three-seater.

ones three

↓

It's not virgin plastic,

plastic virgin

↓

so it's made from other stuff.

stuff

↓

This could be a bottle--

bottle

↓

Can you excuse me for one second?

excuse second

↓

- Eddie, we are so sorry.

eddie

↓

- Boys, I got to tell you, when that commercial aired,

aired boys commercial

↓

wife and I went at it pretty bad.

wife

↓

I mean, I had my bags packed.

bags packed

↓

I was out the door.

door

↓

And we decided, "You know,

decided

↓

let's just make love one last time."

love

↓

For the first time ever,

↓

we tried woman on top.

tried woman

↓

It was amazing.

amazing

↓

Then we tried it again,

tried

↓

woman on top.

woman

↓

Wasn't a fluke.

fluke

↓

I was able to last longer.

able longer

↓

It was like I was able to stall

able stall

↓

while she got what she needed.

needed

↓

And then, when she was done,

↓

I flipped her over, and I went real fast,

fast flipped real real-fast

↓

so I got what I needed.

needed

↓

- That's great, Eddie.

eddie

↓

- Very cool, very cool.

cool

↓

- Spent the rest of the night in the hot tub,

night rest spent

↓

just laughing and talking.

laughing

↓

I found out her favorite show is "Scandal."

favorite found scandal

↓

I didn't know that.

↓

I love "Scandal."

love scandal

↓

- Oh!

↓

- That night, I remembered

night remembered

↓

I was married to my best friend.

best best-friend friend married

↓

- We thought you were gonna be mad.

↓

Your commercial saved my marriage.

commercial marriage saved

↓

- Great. - Thanks, guys.

thanks

↓

- * I'd stare the devil down for you *

devil stare

↓

* Never make another sound unless you want me to *

another sound

↓

* I'd turn my world around for you *

world

↓

* Just to hold you so gently

gently

↓

* I'd bite back every frown for you *

bite frown

↓

* Play the fool in front of all the town for you *

fool front town

↓

* Rob a rightful king of his crown *

crown king rightful

↓

* And gladly pay the penalty

gladly penalty

↓

- * What I'd do for you *

↓

- Hey, babe.

babe

↓

- Hey, hon.

↓

How was your day?

↓

- You won't even believe what happened.

believe happened

↓

A truck axle fell on the assembly line

assembly axle fell line truck

↓

and pinned Fred to the ground.

fred ground pinned

↓

- Well, you know Tony. - Yeah.

tony

↓

- He just ran around

↓

like a chicken with his dick cut off.

chicken dick

↓

- Classic Tony.

classic tony

↓

- I had to lift the dang thing up myself

dang lift

↓

so little Joey could come drag him out from under it.

drag joey

↓

- You wore your hernia belt, right?

belt hernia wore

↓

- You worry too much.

worry

↓

- I worry about you.

worry

↓

- Baby.

baby

↓

You coming upstairs?

coming upstairs

↓

- I sure am.

↓

- * They can just wait in line *

line

↓

- * What I'd do for you *

↓

- * I'd pay the price, the sacrifice *

price sacrifice

↓

- * Just to see it through

↓

- * Stand through all the storm and strife *

stand storm

↓

- * What I'd do for you *

↓

- * Every day, I'd yell *

yell

↓

- Sam!

↓

Sam!

↓

- * You can put me through hell *

↓

- Sammy!

sammy

↓

- Just wanted to say great work today, pal.

today wanted

↓

- Thanks. You too, buddy.

buddy thanks

↓

- You talking to my brother?

brother

↓

- Mm-hmm.

↓

- How's flipping that house going, you idiot?

flipping house idiot

↓

- You're the idiot, Chrissy.

chrissy idiot

↓

I bought this house for $20,000.

bought house

↓

And it's a lot harder than I thought.

harder

↓

- Sorry-ass.

↓

- Man, shut up, dummy.

dummy

↓

- Good night. - Night, buddy.

buddy night night-night

↓

- I love you. - Love you too.

love

↓

Who even cares?

cares

↓

- * What I'd do for you *

↓

- * I'd do anything for you *

↓

- * Yes, I will, darling

darling

↓

* Just to see it through

↓

- * Stand through the storm

stand storm

↓

- Candleholder! - Candleholder.

candleholder

↓

Candleholder.

candleholder

↓

both: Oh!

↓

- Candleholder. - Oh.

candleholder

↓

So it does break.

break

↓

- So it does break.

break

↓

- So it does break, turns out.

break turns