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Home » Detroiters » S01E02 — Hog Riders

Detroiters

Season 1, Episode 2 — Hog Riders

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Detroiters
Episode title: Hog Riders
Air date: February 14, 2017
Director: Nick Jasenovec
Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson
An adventuresome client inspires Sam and Tim to ditch the office and cruise around on their newly purchased motorcycle.
Source: TMDB
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- So then the guy comes in the store
comesstore
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soaking wet, looks straight to camera
camerasoakingstraight
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and goes, "Um, I'd like to buy a kayak."
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- Moosehead Sports: you'll be up a creek with a paddle.
creekpaddlesports
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Really, really funny.
funny
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Do not change a freaking word, you hear me?
changefreakingword
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- So Sebastian, when do you want to shoot this puppy?
puppysebastianshoot
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We can be ready by "Mondee."
ready
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- Oh, no, no, no can do, fellas.
fellas
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I am walking out that door and I'm headed to Dubai
doorheadedwalking
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for a week of sand surfing.
sandsurfingweek
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- Yeah.
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- Exactly. What about it?
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See, gentlemen, I have seven stores
gentlemensevenstores
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that are doing what? Gangbusters.
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Now, I could worry over every little detail
detailworry
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and die behind a desk from a bullet to the temple
behindbulletdesktemple
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like my daddy did,
daddy
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but I prefer to delegate like my mommy did.
mommyprefer
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Little piece of advice for you, fellas.
advicefellaspiece
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Don't let making a living interfere with making a life.
interferelifeliving
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*
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- Fellas. I got to go.
fellas
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- Well, Sebastian, enjoy Dubai.
enjoysebastian
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- Oh, it's going to be impossible not to.
impossible
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Now it looks like you guys
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could stand a little vacation yourselves.
standvacationyourselves
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I mean, look how tired Tim looks.
tired
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- Oh, uh, that's just the shape of my face, sir.
faceshape
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- No, I mean those huge black circles under your eyes.
blackcircleseyeshuge
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You look tired.
tired
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- It's just how I look, sir, how my skull is.
skull
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- Yeah, but your eyes, they look so sad.
eyes
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- Mm-hmm.
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- Like you've lived 100 lives.
livedlives
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- Okay.
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- I mean, take Sam here, for example.
example
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He doesn't look tired at all.
tired
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- So one week then, or--
week
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- Sebastian's so cool.
cool
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He's probably our coolest client.
clientcoolest
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- I think he's the coolest guy I've ever met.
coolest
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Leather.
leather
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- Mm-hmm. Came in here and completely owned our couch.
completelycouchowned
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- I know. Guy smells like a steak.
smellssteak
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A real good steak. - Hey, guys.
realsteak
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both: 'Sup, Lea? - How you gonna--
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What's happening right now?
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- You know how I always have to stuff
stuff
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all of our gear into my car for every shoot?
gearshoot
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- Yeah, it's so funny. - Yeah.
funny
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- Well, I found a cheap production van we can buy.
cheapfoundproduction
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- At the police auction for impounded vehicles.
auctionpolicevehicles
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- Yes.
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- Tim and Sam! I got a bunch
bunch
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of new commercial ideas for you guys, man.
commercialideas
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- Sorry, Ned. Can't talk right now.
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Hey, they gon' 100%
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suck your with these new ones, man,
onessuck
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I'm telling you. Listen to this.
telling
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Ready for this?
ready
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Hefty garbage bags: now for white people.
bagsgarbagegarbage-bagsheftywhite
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- Great stuff, Ned. Tell you what.
stuff
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You make an appointment sometime,
appointmentsometime
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we'll hear all your pitches.
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- Hey, thank you, man. I'ma hold you to that, man.
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I appreciate it! Mm!
appreciate
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*
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- Slams okay. - Mm-hmm.
slams
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- Yeah.
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Seats are comfy.
comfyseats
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- It's nice.
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- You guys done jerking each other off?
jerking
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- Yeah, Lea, if we were jerking each other off,
jerking
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there'd be jizz everywhere.
jizzthered
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- I'll put in our bid.
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- This is great.
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We can get twice as much work done with this van.
twice
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- Absolutely. We can work twice as hard.
absolutelyhardtwice
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- Work ourselves into the ground
ground
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until we blow our brains out like Sebastian's dad.
blowbrains
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- Or go insane like my dad.
insane
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- Mm-hmm. Well,
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let's go get this work van for work.
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- Let's do it.
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- * Hey, TD!
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- * Yeah, yeah!
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- * I need some loving, baby
babylovingloving-baby
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* Some loving, some loving, some loving *
loving
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- * Huh! Oh, yeah!
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- * Huh! Oh, yeah!
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- * Oh, this loving, baby - * You need loving
babylovingloving-baby
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* Yeah, yeah - * Oh, loving, loving
loving
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- * You need some loving loving *
loving
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- * So good, baby
baby
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72356524-3838-47c1-b2da-90c14e322fd7.gif
- * I got to tell you, baby
baby
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cd246984-a940-43f6-8165-743f93d5c4c4.gif
- * What you got to do, yeah
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44cdc955-ab7b-481d-86f8-f2149a54cb06.gif
- * Just listen to the song yeah *
song
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d34ecae1-0936-4f7e-bdcc-d2a722af5b9c.gif
- Assholes.
assholes
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934847c8-0ac1-4b61-bb8f-ea48955867d5.gif
- * Next time
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0281867d-e3d5-460f-852e-1e19d72dfcc2.gif
* When they ask you
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* Where you're from
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* You gon' say Detroit city
citydetroitdetroit-city
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ceae834e-7337-4a96-864d-e8607883a258.gif
* When we get you back on our feet *
feet
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* Yeah * Yeah
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2521c221-aa1b-4631-b2fa-751b544a3c6e.gif
- I got to get back on that road, man.
road
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8d1d3892-8877-43b1-b618-f988e6182c75.gif
- Oh. - Whoa, man,
whoa
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e549f3dd-0bf6-4be3-b6ad-536930f7bc18.gif
I'm gonna go nuts in here.
nuts
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- Oh, tell me about it.
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4b8cc3a2-ddb7-4f90-a195-d2f71cc3e40a.gif
- I don't know.
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The guy at the store said it's makeup for plays
makeupplaysstore
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that have a dumpy uncle character.
characteruncle
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- Hey, pecker, eyes off the hog! Pecker's taking a selfie.
eyespeckerselfie
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- I'll tell you this, man.
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I don't get back out on that hog,
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I'm about four or five seconds from wilin'.
fivefive-secondsfourseconds
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- I'm about two, three seconds from wilin'.
secondsthreethree-seconds
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- I'm like, one second from wilin'.
second
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- Gentlemen. Ned is here.
gentlemen
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- He said you told him to set up an appointment.
appointment
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- Sheila!
sheila
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7383b26d-c273-43ee-b460-b55707232345.gif
- You weren't actually supposed to set that up.
supposed
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- Oh, I guess I had a dumb blonde moment.
blondedumbmoment
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- I hope y'all ready for this shit, man.
hopereadyyall
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This shit is coming out of the idea oven hot and fresh.
comingfreshideaoven
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- Let's see what you got.
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- All right.
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Chris Brown is walking to the store.
brownchrischris-brownstorewalking
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- Did he just say Chris Brown?
brownchrischris-brown
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- Chris Brown is getting his baby some diapers, right?
babybrownchrischris-browndiapers
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Chris Brown's having a bad day 'cause he just found out
brownschrisfoundhaving
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that his woman is cheating on him,
cheatingwoman
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and the baby he been buying all these diapers
babybuyingdiapers
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and groceries and shit for
groceries
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is not even his baby, and he's got to piss.
babypiss
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- Chris Brown. The baby's dead.
babysbrownchrischris-browndead
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- Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. - Of course.
course
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- So then he can't even hold it anymore.
anymore
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He's like, "Oh, I got to go to a restaurant.
restaurant
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I got to pee immediately," right?
immediately
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Bam. He goes to the restaurant,
restaurant
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but the restaurant has a restroom
restaurantrestroom
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ec99a3a5-a66f-4cc9-8d9b-d0b1b3b29839.gif
that says, "For whites only."
whites
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He's like, "What?
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For whites only?" Then he thinks about it,
thinkswhites
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like, "Wait a minute, I got all these diapers."
diapersminute
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ce6743cf-bf5a-42f2-842f-137c548a3b6f.gif
So next thing you know, we cut. Bam.
↓
24ba3d06-f6da-48fa-aaba-aa48a2da9261.gif
We see the back of Chris Brown's legs, right?
brownschrislegs
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Then a big-ass dick falls out of his drawers.
dickdrawersfalls
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It's like, oh, he might have a disease.
diseasemight
↓
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Way too big for sex or anything,
↓
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and he's pissing in the diaper, and it's like--
diaperpissing
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e1923455-a6eb-4e37-b50b-b08c31362f86.gif
He looks back at the camera and says,
camera
↓
0b242390-cfd1-48d3-bde6-5061cf223d89.gif
"Diapers: they can hold a man's piss."
diapersmanspiss
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- I mean, it's great stuff, Ned.
stuff
↓
2d1cbe97-9376-4875-a460-be90662295d2.gif
Just one problem.
problem
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f18841be-3f27-4e1c-8d70-7550907a26f3.gif
I mean, we don't have the "diapers" account.
accountdiapers
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50cb0618-7941-4bf7-964a-1430f34db613.gif
- Even if we did I'm pretty sure we can't show any of that stuff.
stuff
↓
c5017ef2-d70b-477c-8e5c-e9b5cf5e5fab.gif
- Yeah. - Okay, I got more.
↓
4fbad52a-3773-4083-9444-482b5a9ebea1.gif
- I'm not married to anything. - Right.
married
↓
11625037-8a33-43d4-b9a2-13f8fc71b5b7.gif
- Next one. A guy's running from the cops, right?
copsrunning
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f505699f-fcf2-470a-a6e2-dbec34970456.gif
He's running fast. "Get down!
fastrunning
↓
bc6ef02e-c460-492b-bab5-7411a19060d9.gif
We got a runner!"
runner
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0395a809-1b14-4d05-85ca-7f1cd0c47d47.gif
Right?
↓
eabd7a55-e043-472e-b56d-2868f2e5bee6.gif
He has on Reeboks. So fast!
fast
↓
bdad10c0-06ca-4756-9773-4d92c42eda8e.gif
The police have on Nikes.
police
↓
227e1a18-ec88-4611-a765-a3a95aa7173f.gif
Hell, no, they're not gon' catch him.
catch
↓
5809cf7e-8f5b-4587-a6ab-d53d9017cfb1.gif
He about to run to the finish line.
finishfinish-lineline
↓
30b9b827-d00b-4d6b-8920-a5a857c92df3.gif
Ha! Victory!
victory
↓
9091594e-3290-446f-b09f-43df8f6edaaa.gif
Got away from the police! Bam!
police
↓
a24f7cad-8df3-4af6-a20e-efaba6492f08.gif
They shoot him. He dead.
deadshoot
↓
02e04e3b-dfcb-4a27-a595-430e2b33a738.gif
Chyron: Reeboks. He dead.
dead
↓
0dfe138b-f859-425c-83ff-470e4d8d14e2.gif
Okay, a guy's sticking his dick all in a big-ass tub of butter.
butterdicksticking
↓
a7b827fd-437e-44db-a497-9c27cf5d0d5a.gif
- Oh, Lord. Uh-huh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
lord
↓
8889a692-6c76-4f88-9353-5bfd97f16a3f.gif
- He just, boop, dropping holes in the butter.
boopbutterdroppingholes
↓
37cd1ea6-2d38-4265-9676-4612cc00f674.gif
Boop, dropping holes in the butter.
boopbutterdroppingholes
↓
b921c642-eb4b-4df9-bdd2-bbfeb84b3eb5.gif
Boop, dropping holes in the butter--
boopbutterdroppingholes
↓
3d6e464b-ac73-4936-b6ef-cc945f71d4dc.gif
Dick holes. Next thing you know,
dickholes
↓
7affa5f7-e400-4638-91fb-529ba1e97994.gif
the cops come, shoot him. He dead.
copsdeadshoot
↓
364f9057-19ba-4a70-89a4-8b92eb2ce54f.gif
Chyron: Butter. He dead.
butterdead
↓
126d46b3-30cb-44cf-9700-343ebe12860c.gif
- Okay. - There's a guy
↓
16e3886d-7ced-4aaf-9acf-1f9e8d3d7f8e.gif
walking around town dancing with his hand in his pocket.
dancinghandpockettownwalking
↓
c02d8eda-decb-4a48-bf44-eb8d88b3e149.gif
- Okay, and then what happens?
happens
↓
097bce75-5bad-43d7-aa8f-df481d1c60f1.gif
- He just dances. That's it.
dances
↓
eda057c9-9206-4a73-b38c-4d53847b4153.gif
- Okay. Well, Ned, this is all great stuff
stuff
↓
4b0d80a2-57fc-4187-bd83-a29559ef6aaf.gif
and we'd love to hear it, but we got actually
love
↓
89d06856-54fd-4f5c-9339-4ade8e521adf.gif
a really important meeting we got to get to.
meeting
↓
962fd44b-e157-4cc8-b52d-30120e11a1f2.gif
- Gentlemen, Dale Diebenkorn is here
dalegentlemen
↓
b8de23f5-0131-413b-9bba-e08849524523.gif
and he's stinking up the place.
placestinking
↓
a8125d8b-b51b-4859-bc76-7096491d6728.gif
"No Sale" Dale.
dalesale
↓
37c9e408-eae8-429e-a0f2-43179e85a221.gif
- That guy is a fricking pud.
fricking
↓
30c26f52-634f-4ecd-b03a-0d3e777b1e5f.gif
- Can't believe we're gonna be in here stuck with that idiot
believeidiotstuck
↓
972c0a8f-b051-498c-a25e-7fdcf4152905.gif
instead of out there on our crotch rocket.
crotchrocket
↓
beabd5a6-74fc-4419-95d8-804d237adae4.gif
- We've been pitching to this choad
pitching
↓
a898d8c6-810f-4d11-8183-ba4b293f0a7e.gif
for a year and a half, and he's never bought anything.
boughthalf
↓
2c3660db-8a6f-4579-ad7c-79e31d2efe16.gif
- Tim, Cramblin
cramblin
↓
b62b6654-5207-461a-a555-7433ba431528.gif
both: Gangbusters.
↓
a3eb0b07-63d9-467f-af54-9d48a4fb2621.gif
- Maybe it's time we decided whether we want to be
decidedwhether
↓
dde943d4-af11-4979-b7ef-33f6a8cce669.gif
in here making a living or out there making a life.
lifeliving
↓
cd649aae-d227-4924-b514-f8783913af00.gif
I get you.
↓
20071d20-5eea-4502-b44d-add37883a5d5.gif
- Dale, I'd like to introduce you
daleintroduce
↓
f9761c87-1aa2-4d3d-ba42-ae5337d5bd92.gif
to our brand new hot shot copywriter Ned.
brandshot
↓
55a54bcb-483e-4c4d-8e61-e95c291aae8e.gif
You're in really good hands.
hands
↓
85187463-75d1-450d-8672-ebda75406caf.gif
Ned's going to walk you through some of our ideas
ideasnedswalk
↓
6b3cb1d3-7afb-4637-9614-50635dcb5f2a.gif
that we're really excited about.
excited
↓
3867c853-33e6-4711-854f-36a88f05b0c7.gif
- Put 'er there, Dale.
dale
↓
1b6a9cd3-a96e-475f-8e44-2e1e33040a0c.gif
Man, you got a nice-ass neck, you know that?
neck
↓
fe57f0b9-a678-4529-816b-b3d145f04e38.gif
You can tell a lot about a man by his neck, man,
neck
↓
eadb50bb-44cc-4d81-b10a-e92b61a4c58d.gif
and you got a strong one.
strong
↓
4c54d67c-4037-49a1-9b5e-fef3e6f50379.gif
- Uh, thanks.
thanks
↓
219d6987-e4ce-43e6-9d24-2668befa9666.gif
- Sweet! We'll get out of your hair.
hairsweet
↓
c6db12ee-d459-4457-b595-df9d20d7a30f.gif
- It's almost like a Benjamin Franklin neck.
benjaminfranklinneck
↓
8c3c6f57-aa73-4729-9f41-fbf25c5c35c3.gif
You kind of got a Benjamin Franklin whole head.
benjaminfranklinheadwhole
↓
2b90d7bb-c39a-41d9-8d58-6192619d251e.gif
*
↓
327292fd-67d4-471e-ad80-c971066e8bb1.gif
- * They told you in school about freedom *
freedomschool
↓
37300994-ed31-4955-a8ee-70bd0697f290.gif
* But when you try to be free they never let ya *
free
↓
256312d1-bc9e-45b0-9d94-a99258b32b4b.gif
* They said "it's easy nothing to it" *
easy
↓
63da6c75-dd5e-4256-8660-e8c9ded4f88c.gif
* And now the army's out to get ya *
↓
72445589-b6f4-454d-9563-40aa68cf2f3e.gif
* '69 America in terminal stasis *
americaterminal
↓
5d876bb1-f06f-44da-9c2f-ddb5ff167e7a.gif
* The air's so thick it's like drowning in molasses *
airsdrowningthick
↓
d827e07d-0580-4928-8e86-51febf7fbd3a.gif
* I'm sick and tired of paying these dues *
duespayingsicktired
↓
34894969-8110-448e-90e0-13835f2ce62e.gif
* And I'm finally getting hip to the American ruse *
americanfinallyruse
↓
b3c8bc23-5e74-4f03-b43f-8d9f91cd2d99.gif
*
↓
0e6d5cc2-b1f0-4f53-b490-4870bfd79275.gif
- Whoo! - Whoo!
whoowhoo-whoo
↓
afa5368a-80f9-467a-8456-d009149c6d41.gif
- I am gonna miss the hog today,
misstoday
↓
20ab7f8b-cc3a-4167-ba4d-732d5e548644.gif
but we got to get back to the real world.
realreal-worldworld
↓
1445b219-a63d-4641-a717-6b0ee9977b8b.gif
- Back to the grind.
grind
↓
7a465dc0-52ce-4f69-9031-5d886c8834d6.gif
both: Morning, Sheila.
morningmorning-sheilasheila
↓
3531197d-40a4-472d-84b3-aa0d5189d856.gif
- Good morning, gentlemen.
gentlemenmorningmorning-gentlemen
↓
4cced5ce-89c9-462a-90d9-47fc4a939123.gif
- To stuff all this equipment into my car
equipmentstuff
↓
46979d29-95b6-4c64-91e1-aacf2e4fff8b.gif
because you two idiots didn't buy a van.
idiots
↓
a0cfea8f-d3da-4fb8-a626-edef38cd09d8.gif
- Hey guys, nice jackets.
jackets
↓
6d87536c-1fd4-4c9a-b434-81ef198c2b2c.gif
- Thank you. - I've always worn this.
worn
↓
abe1487b-3f86-4abb-a8c7-6a6c03711db0.gif
- All right. Appreciate everything.
appreciate
↓
e8e260e3-a532-4304-8558-53a596842b3b.gif
- Oh, hey, guys.
↓
9581e8d0-40a3-4397-bd46-d667be61afce.gif
You were right about Ned.
↓
d0f0467a-9cc8-43b1-a219-1c1dca20b213.gif
He's amazing.
amazing
↓
73d31368-1988-42f6-a9a2-7dac03189182.gif
This commercial's going to be great.
commercials
↓
bb007134-2ced-456a-a0d4-09587816fbde.gif
- Sure is.
↓
110fea92-31ac-4f23-8879-c4b33b2ecc62.gif
- Oh, Dale's commercial.
commercial
↓
72261e6f-d2f1-4d12-80a2-c368934046ea.gif
- Oh, no, Ned's commercial.
commercialneds
↓
94364180-7229-4f92-bf89-97afcc99a8aa.gif
Let's go shoot this bitch.
bitchshoot
↓
286374fd-4108-45f9-9e45-18e0e386d52b.gif
- Let's do it.
↓
b8e2c015-9f3a-43d4-bf6c-eabada1da00c.gif
- Well, good luck.
luck
↓
8ac37f1b-f04a-4555-b59b-f0fca44b8a1d.gif
- I guess we got to get to this commercial shoot?
commercialshoot
↓
9d6d9078-5d5c-4b58-b2d4-d3d8f1025760.gif
- Yeah. I mean, I guess it'd be totally irresponsible
irresponsible
↓
e1cdb650-b0ee-41aa-8aec-50d677a7eafb.gif
to leave an entire shoot to Ned
entireshoot
↓
b3f24cfb-602b-42a9-b847-ae61f531686b.gif
and just go riding around on a hog all day.
riding
↓
519903e9-69de-4353-9603-21a461cc8e5c.gif
- Oh, for sure.
↓
b8730b2e-1477-442b-8f98-a936761b1a7e.gif
If I gave even the smallest shit about Dale's pud ass,
smallest
↓
ee511e27-20b9-409a-a313-02e51e0f7027.gif
I'd put a stop to this right now.
↓
92287332-5680-434d-971c-b4eef48fa94c.gif
- And plus my crotch is throbbin' for a rocket.
crotchplusrocket
↓
a453c310-9424-4f79-98a3-bd9ac32713c8.gif
- Oh. My crotch is achin' for one!
crotch
↓
2ea12e57-a251-4032-a0a0-cd4c685b2617.gif
- Let's do this, baby. - Let's do it.
baby
↓
ee96f69d-c818-4940-b46a-f5c63027362a.gif
Night, Sheila. - Night, Sheila.
nightsheila
↓
c800538b-4f68-4b20-af08-dfa690724ead.gif
- Good night, gentlemen.
gentlemennight
↓
a96b5cdc-5496-4a61-8692-58a67af75a24.gif
[MC5's "The American Ruse" playing]
americanplayingruse
↓
acaef963-0071-4cfd-ac19-16ae485fb9c3.gif
*
↓
2fced98a-5ab0-42ef-b975-4eb0720f24b9.gif
- * They told you in school about freedom *
freedomschool
↓
0780261d-d39a-43fe-82cd-a3b9833de746.gif
- Other way, Tommy.
tommy
↓
ebdb5e52-0124-4c5c-bf38-670343057fab.gif
*
↓
ddf9460a-030a-4f24-98c9-bc4f84d64b5a.gif
- Stay safe, guys. - See ya, guys. Good times.
safetimes
↓
1018aeaf-74dc-48cd-b7b5-3c338c1eaba6.gif
- Earlier today, the ghost of a pedophile
ghostpedophiletoday
↓
0683a40d-aa75-40ec-bcbf-bb74549d61f6.gif
was spotted haunting the old Boblo Amusement Park.
amusementhauntingparkspotted
↓
9f7d20b7-16cf-4fff-81aa-b9ec67ae2477.gif
Here's the interesting thing:
interesting
↓
c30ca260-4931-4d32-8662-9d55e2286dd2.gif
the ghost was-- get this--a woman.
ghostwoman
↓
b14b79da-e431-4d17-a6b8-777810714077.gif
More after these messages.
messages
↓
94d559dc-612e-47d0-9c79-a9c16776140c.gif
- Oh, look, it's Ned's commercial.
commercialneds
↓
48900487-5941-41b8-87e4-9b51f79655e5.gif
- Right now at Detroit Optical Glasses,
detroitglasses
↓
d64b9c1f-f9ea-418d-8b2c-37bdf5e2b432.gif
we have Hunky Specs, but be warned:
hunkyhunky-specsspecswarned
↓
1a460f35-acde-40ac-b0d4-dd702af869a3.gif
Hunky Specs will make you feel like grooving.
groovinghunkyhunky-specsspecs
↓
6dfcd59c-4cf7-4916-ad75-1d6d073373f1.gif
- * Oh, Hunky Specs
hunkyhunky-specsspecs
↓
1ef43d8a-480f-4ab5-9ab1-68a280b3cb8e.gif
* Gonna get you grooving - * Grooving
grooving
↓
0c118193-7167-43f8-9a80-1d98cfb802cf.gif
- * D-O-G - * Grooving
grooving
↓
2f0bc3e8-04cb-4cc6-9fd2-e07a825c084e.gif
- * Gonna get you grooving - * Ooh
grooving
↓
4092f244-6740-45b5-8916-22f1935dbde1.gif
- * Uh-huh
↓
9d53d3fc-fefc-4eb6-96b4-42870e85437e.gif
- Freeze! - Sorry, officers.
freezeofficers
↓
165eb092-501d-46f3-b7a3-2dcc39513c36.gif
Can't freeze. I got to dance.
dancefreeze
↓
f503a5cb-0a55-415c-9cec-5fb72e783c84.gif
- He's resisting.
resisting
↓
48185d54-a0b6-40cd-8c56-bde358f76529.gif
- Stop resisting!
resisting
↓
cbceea96-ee26-4d22-861e-3105262635d8.gif
- Hunky Specs will make you feel like grooving.
groovinghunkyhunky-specsspecs
↓
90be5458-09d0-4920-b543-a78c98779553.gif
Only at D-O-G.
↓
9a1d0ca6-0627-48c7-981c-c822be7152e0.gif
- But I'm white!
white
↓
d2182ca2-fec2-4195-b926-ee5eb4bf43e6.gif
- Presented by Cramblin Advertising.
advertisingcramblincramblin-advertisingpresented
↓
aadb2090-34b9-4d95-8e1a-4dbf08aafa56.gif
- Oh, man. That was bad.
↓
e799dbef-fa08-4fdf-a799-d888223a81de.gif
I can't believe Ned put a title card at the end of it.
believecardtitle
↓
b36af1da-824d-4d43-a5b2-2ed68d1dee6c.gif
Now everybody's going to think we made that turd.
everybodysturd
↓
63ac593d-eadd-4a91-8fbb-604ab3785a95.gif
- Dale's probably so pissed.
pissed
↓
5a1b089c-fba0-4592-99aa-662f91d38087.gif
Should we call him and ask him if he wants us to pull the spot?
pullspotwants
↓
0933a7af-7fde-499a-9f02-54d0b7c268b4.gif
- Yeah, maybe. - I don't usually comment
commentusually
↓
69cf6485-b41e-4f58-8279-3610b70626e9.gif
on the commercials,
commercials
↓
8350276b-1216-455b-ada5-b66a9c2165d0.gif
but that was a lot of fun.
fun
↓
4b34fcee-5fa8-48f1-8435-ed83a7410e34.gif
Let's see it again. Can we?
↓
468a438f-8427-49c6-a4e2-68ce9a747c27.gif
- * Groovin' - * Uh-huh
groovin
↓
c921d64d-5bab-4ad9-aa7c-224b42df52ed.gif
- Right now at Detroit Optical Glasses...
detroitglasses
↓
84c9f73b-134e-4a9d-8a62-5a846ec8fc95.gif
- What...the-- - Whoo-hoo.
whoo
↓
00d6082a-b9e2-4cd8-8f22-cce21b5488c6.gif
- Hunky Specs that make you feel like grooving.
groovinghunkyhunky-specsspecs
↓
da7e064f-27d9-4350-b5aa-96d3bfb49dec.gif
- I got to get me some of those Horny Specs.
hornyspecs
↓
6c0e531d-06f8-4a4a-b20d-258f24b0c838.gif
- * Gonna get you groovin' - * D-O-G
groovin
↓
4f15a417-d602-49a3-a4f3-14f6dfe64dcd.gif
- * Groovin' * - I don't get it.
groovin
↓
fab3e6d4-5dbc-475d-8979-efae28622307.gif
- Are they laughing with it or at it?
laughing
↓
9b22de5b-0064-4a5a-b732-b3209280447a.gif
- They're just laughing, Sam.
laughing
↓
f19e10a6-4f80-44bd-ada2-29296cc97e22.gif
They're feeling Joy.
feeling
↓
e4367a7d-e8a2-435a-bd8b-90889eb46ce7.gif
- I don't get it.
↓
6bb58601-3b5d-4298-bf37-a018d5409a5e.gif
- It's nothing!
↓
76809287-a491-44b7-8a44-d1ae6355cbcf.gif
- Stop dancing!
dancing
↓
8cdf1ff9-f1d0-4234-b462-1e1c0479214a.gif
- You're wasting your time!
wasting
↓
49e16776-ab42-441d-8b2e-b6ae317530de.gif
Don't look at me, asshole!
asshole
↓
94cdad50-edd9-4ff4-bf55-e62ed3ac027a.gif
Sebastian, how was Dubai?
sebastian
↓
75b5411e-bfbb-4f28-bca8-a9ebef9b8eb5.gif
- Oh, incredible.
incredible
↓
9d30e608-f10b-4712-9988-a0c1095e5f8f.gif
You know, I went to the Burj Khalifa
↓
5f820f07-19d2-425f-8134-ca1cd98d4534.gif
and I did that thing that Tom Cruise did
cruise
↓
b21f5180-47b1-4954-abc0-c70a6f3c87d1.gif
in "Mission: Impossible."
impossiblemission
↓
f0048b87-475b-430d-959c-87a4a961d4b7.gif
- Oh. You climbed up the windows with suction cups?
climbedcupssuctionwindows
↓
ec110202-8d96-4051-931f-74eae08d49ab.gif
- I got to wear the mask of another man's face.
anotheranother-mansfacemansmaskwear
↓
d309868e-91e1-41ad-b439-ede2e6f163bc.gif
- Holy shit.
holy
↓
94ddb788-f3f8-4ea7-87ae-099785cbbb2a.gif
- That's cool. So Sebastian,
coolsebastian
↓
c0adbfda-bb6d-4c8f-8d4b-f52ec7d86e0c.gif
we're going to be shooting your commercial tomorrow.
commercialshootingtomorrow
↓
3dce1245-30cf-429a-aea4-bdc80efee5bc.gif
Uh, any questions or concerns?
concernsquestions
↓
08dd0e23-f127-4f52-92e4-f4524140139c.gif
- Actually, yes. Uh, let's scrap it.
scrap
↓
7e9e2526-7fef-4eef-bf0e-57bd1e4dcdc3.gif
- Yeah. I want the dance.
dance
↓
72986073-fc3f-4240-861d-46cdca478609.gif
- Yes, you know. The Hunky Specs.
hunkyhunky-specsspecs
↓
599bab9e-8e82-4014-9fb2-92927fac22cd.gif
Yeah, yeah. I want-- I want that.
↓
cfb60fc8-d0d2-42a9-b84d-5a60cea54364.gif
- Okay, uh, what if we just added a dance component
addedcomponentdance
↓
b9a95f36-0539-462d-b399-f69945566b6a.gif
to the commercial that we already pitched you?
commercialpitched
↓
239b5fe2-d590-499a-94cc-8c3d6aba9d62.gif
- Yeah, like, uh, what if,
↓
a1b50337-290c-4122-9493-a213a10ee5ac.gif
like, maybe the dad in the tent
tent
↓
f651c71f-66fa-4228-9447-1d0460758acb.gif
kind of, like, wiggles his booty?
booty
↓
8a34d9ea-0262-42f8-9c41-32de5e3588b9.gif
- Oh, yeah, yeah, he makes his booty clap.
bootyclapmakes
↓
8b5614e3-873b-4228-ac37-783a0e1f5c08.gif
- Oh, that's good.
↓
0e6bedda-c2d7-48a7-bf8c-ebdba4248611.gif
- Actually, that's great. You know, that could work.
↓
8d264184-b95a-43fd-922d-4b68120a7815.gif
- It definitely could. - Guys, guys, guys.
↓
8a1d0b5b-0271-4ed3-8a9b-f3d8c8144889.gif
Don't leave me half-hard here.
halfhard
↓
27d2640e-f269-4c7f-a580-8c3f91b5041a.gif
Why are we talking about the old ad?
↓
f5726201-9bfc-4e2d-bbe8-73dbcbea7aed.gif
I want the full-on dance treatment.
dancefulltreatment
↓
26cdda44-cfbe-4501-822a-af09b92020b4.gif
That's what I want.
↓
5eee1499-bb5f-4fd7-a03a-1d1927d88f8f.gif
- All right. Okay.
↓
bdce02ac-1686-4e74-9af4-db2cc939c7c0.gif
Um... So, okay.
↓
57af85fb-6b25-4381-8680-3753215eef92.gif
All right, so maybe you're, um,
↓
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maybe you're walking through your store,
storewalking
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you look to camera, you're just like--
camera
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- I don't know, sir.
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beb167b5-db7d-4107-a410-6fabd89de89f.gif
- It's not sexy.
sexy
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6816315c-6b75-41a2-88f8-577dae3d0291.gif
- Uh, well, actually, what if the dance is more like, uh--
dance
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Okay.
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Feel it. Feel it.
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You feel it.
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You just kind of feel it.
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You're gonna--ooh.
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Oh, there's something in my tummy.
tummy
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c3f80168-ebd1-4ec0-95ba-72cfd60ba718.gif
It's more groovin'.
groovin
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It's groovin'.
groovin
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Now it's a baby.
baby
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There it is.
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- Fellas, is this some sort of joke?
fellasjoke
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Because I consider myself a really chill dude,
chillconsider
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but you are pissing me off.
pissing
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Now, what happened to the guys who
happened
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came up with the Hunky Specs commercial, huh?
commercialhunkyhunky-specsspecs
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- Look, you have every right to be angry.
angry
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b9c1639d-f98f-4e6b-b372-33c0e69166dd.gif
Please allow us a moment to discuss.
allowdiscussmoment
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- No.
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d258d5c3-884b-416f-b000-b3b9d3a021a7.gif
- I don't know.
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3a4a7b6a-d583-4c81-9dfc-b21ec56797c7.gif
I honestly thought my dancing was sexy.
dancingsexy
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b8059bbb-7c3f-4b19-856f-2a59bfb61548.gif
- Gentlemen.
gentlemen
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00c7d9a0-7b5b-49d6-8adc-b2bc0f7939f6.gif
Jean and Louise Strhol
jeanlouise
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from Strhol's Ice Cream are here to see you.
cream
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We have been trying to get a meeting with them for months.
meetingmonths
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- This is huge. Where are they?
huge
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- I put them in the conference room.
conferenceconference-roomroom
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- Son of a bitch.
bitch
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- Crap.
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8a7a9b02-76dd-4ea1-9ff7-2a9078d85b46.gif
- Hello, Mother.
mother
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- Sheila, can you tell Ned
sheila
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b64a3aee-24f2-4721-b1e1-1ce5db6fd3a7.gif
he has two clients waiting for him?
clientswaiting
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- Doesn't matter.
matter
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- Good-bye, Mother.
mother
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9633fd0b-97ee-4f63-b066-4ca31501fc90.gif
Bitch.
bitch
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*
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*
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- * He left me wondering
leftwondering
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* Down the road I went
road
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* Oh, Father what's she from? *
father
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* Heaven sent
heavensent
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aff266fb-7a44-4677-98de-8eb62914bba4.gif
*
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afaead89-f064-4bc2-a4eb-e872c0da2b46.gif
* Doesn't matter now does it? *
matter
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* When I'm on my own
↓
72812f28-57df-42fd-b6ce-f8f295da2028.gif
* Gonna keep on walking
walking
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* Till I'm skin and bone
boneskintill
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- If you could start over and do any job in the entire world,
entireentire-worldstartworld
↓
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what would you do?
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- Probably make commercials at Cramblin-Duvet.
commercialscramblincramblin-duvetduvet
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- Me too.
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- What would you do if you had $10 million?
million
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- I'd expand Cramblin-Duvet,
cramblincramblin-duvetduvetexpand
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get a bigger building with on-site daycare.
biggerbuildingsite
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Can I be honest with you, Sam?
honest
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- Yeah, bud.
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- I am scared every second on that thing.
scaredsecond
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- Tim, I hate it. If you stop, you fall.
fallhate
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- Yeah, and if you fall, you die.
fall
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- Yeah, and then you die, it just goes black.
black
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You don't even hear anything.
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e71345a8-053e-4e5e-bb4c-263427ff527b.gif
- Why would they make something that does that?
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- I mean, I don't even like being outside.
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- No, me neither. Let's get out of here.
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I just saw one of those big, fat, fuzzy bees.
beesfuzzy
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- * You black night with that *
blacknight
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- Nice bike.
bike
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1c5f5ba0-3280-4473-b351-e1beeb558f12.gif
- It's yours.
↓
47caddf4-8cdd-4edf-a9be-e0c2042ae779.gif
- * Now why won't you leave me? *
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- Don't need one. Oh.
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*
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- Hey, guys.
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- Ned. What are you doing down here?
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- Guys, thanks for letting me work for the company.
companylettingthanks
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I really appreciate it, great experience.
appreciateexperience
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But I found I like my ideas better as ideas.
foundideas
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You know, 'cause once the money gets involved,
involvedmoney
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is it even art anymore?
anymore
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f321c2a7-3267-4a4a-9391-5423547c995f.gif
Plus, the ice cream ladies really, really didn't like
creamladiesplus
↓
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the commercial I made for them.
commercial
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fa50e786-5873-452c-84a5-c2ea2dc7665e.gif
- Oh, no.
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- I had a guy put his dick in the ice cream.
creamdick
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- Yeah, you can't do that.
↓
731982fd-908a-4baf-9bd4-4cabce12826a.gif
- Yeah. It turns out they don't like that.
turns
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- But they're wrong.
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- No, I know. - Yeah.
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- I know. - Good luck, Ned.
luck
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- You guys hang in there, man. It's tough up there.
hangtough
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- You know, fellas, I'm sorry.
fellas
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After talking to Ned,
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I think I want to go back to the first idea.
idea
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- Yeah, I think that is a great call.
↓
8b0e4ce3-eac2-48cf-a2bf-178ae2ec55b5.gif
- Yes. Yes. - Yes.
↓
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- Unless of course Ned can get Chris Brown.
brownchrischris-browncourse
↓
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- He cannot.
cannot
↓
cf57f0b4-703a-4ddd-b14d-65d82bb63446.gif
It's Lea.
↓
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- And Tommy Pencils.
pencilstommy
↓
8cf82f28-118b-4f7c-b911-328c9960056f.gif
They got a van.
↓
fdd4af97-2e00-4eef-8cdb-2e32f7111315.gif
You got the van? - Yep,
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and it was even cheaper. The guy who bought it
boughtcheaper
↓
22bb4605-ee72-4947-8918-d33f38e26f86.gif
at the police auction was murdered in it.
auctionmurderedpolice
↓
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- Oh, score. - Oh, and Tommy has
scoretommy
↓
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a surprise for you.
surprise
↓
45c08371-1fe2-4638-96ae-4c24c864ac2a.gif
He worked really hard on it.
hardworked
↓
e2752399-eab7-4f3d-8827-25426326b51d.gif
Be nice.
↓
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*
↓
9bfb33d4-0346-4359-9ebd-f012f682a7aa.gif
- Ta-da!
↓
6de10c1b-52be-4406-8282-9f0e014a1087.gif
- Yes it is, fellas. Do you like it?
fellas
↓
fc366dc5-6733-43ea-a293-c4667830643e.gif
- Yeah. Good job, Tommy.
tommy
↓
3ab37444-2709-42cd-954f-5b64440f344a.gif
- Great job, Tommy.
tommy
↓
3bcf3f87-6952-4127-92d5-12f8d90b933c.gif
- Yeah, great job, Tommy.
tommy
↓
c1a442b7-11e8-4031-ab06-cd6ee53362c0.gif
- I like how you captured my pink lips.
capturedlipspink
↓
6ac283d1-9b70-441a-8db2-433a1065c85b.gif
- Yeah, I like how you captured my little corn cob mouth.
capturedcornmouth
↓
89eace90-edb2-47e4-aa5b-9f524844d1ac.gif
And my raccoon mask, and my gray, gray skin.
graymaskraccoonskin
↓
d02a80ad-377f-4552-b048-cb4187e58ced.gif
Yellow ears. - Yellow nose, too.
earsnoseyellow
↓
47a23bc7-173f-480c-a99d-8f4167be8602.gif
- And my double chin.
chindouble
↓
03d1cff0-e307-4e9b-ab2c-5c4c88fbef2c.gif
Make sure you got the double chin perfectly.
chindoubleperfectly
↓
e0e8fe98-939e-4f92-9027-bf46defd5dc1.gif
Yeah, no, I see it, man. I see it.
↓
60d6ce01-b975-4239-8b6c-bb5d423634d5.gif
Pube hair, pube eyebrows.
eyebrowshair
↓
2da2d01a-2ac3-40af-97aa-42f7d08d3151.gif
My whole goblin face.
facegoblinwhole
↓
1c5e114c-9cd4-475a-8c8f-142a2ad9268d.gif
- And I got your blue eyes!
blueblue-eyeseyes
↓
cab13fac-6e8c-419f-92cf-dff3cade6e08.gif
Yeah, you did.
↓
af165d12-872f-4a2a-af39-a20ad98c5776.gif
Thanks, Tommy.
thankstommy
↓
69112ca6-42a6-421e-90ce-2bf18a86ba7f.gif
- You're welcome, Tim.
welcome
↓
8cf1e1e7-2a86-4e3a-bbb5-820410c63504.gif
*