♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →
Home » Detroiters » S01E03 — Sam "The Man"

Detroiters

Season 1, Episode 3 — Sam "The Man"

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Detroiters
Episode title: Sam "The Man"
Air date: February 21, 2017
Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson
Sam accidentally becomes a prostitute, and Tim comes down with a bad case of colitis.
Source: TMDB
↓
836a7618-3de9-4385-a7fd-1d66df09b24b.gif
*
↓
993d1bbb-b550-4ca3-962b-7d8d66a3c297.gif
- Oh, shit!
↓
cb94900b-9d37-464b-9009-3095d7f3ff92.gif
- Ow, ow.
↓
0535aca4-ec03-4b0e-b284-f90213132e8d.gif
- Yeah. - Okay. Oh, gosh.
gosh
↓
e8d31b5a-35ea-4c86-901b-9a8299dd700f.gif
Ow, okay.
↓
dd27b0c1-0c4b-4b51-9062-de810c149336.gif
Hi.
↓
71d675cf-4704-4ff3-a18c-36343adc4e72.gif
- I'm Sam. - I'm Samantha.
samantha
↓
e9308801-a8ed-4d9a-adec-c02b78dfaccc.gif
My friends call me Sam, so...
friends
↓
11e9d8db-b5b5-491f-942d-4630ad9f95be.gif
- What a coincidence.
coincidence
↓
42cea229-1f06-4225-8ab1-5c327b4fa125.gif
My friends call me Samantha.
friendssamantha
↓
d224e667-493e-49ba-9cdb-f3322d038c76.gif
- Oh! - So...
↓
2b48614c-ba5a-4ea6-891c-12784d282a34.gif
- Sam. Sam!
↓
99462f24-194c-4fdf-b26b-6e08003b86ab.gif
Tim's stomach is upset,
stomachtimsupset
↓
d534c7c2-01bc-4c22-b6e5-fdeb7ba3e13f.gif
and he wants you to come rub his belly.
bellywants
↓
00fc57e3-a9d9-4760-869d-d6e758f8fa6f.gif
- He wants you.
wants
↓
d3cfd7ca-3ede-47ba-8079-1653f333c83d.gif
- Tell him to bring the Vernors. My guts are going nuts.
bringgutsnutsvernors
↓
80f61d84-e2a3-4b53-97ff-e555ea93553e.gif
- And he wants you to bring a Vernors.
bringvernorswants
↓
b0db99c3-52dd-465e-8171-a9c4f0b882a7.gif
- Yeah, I heard him. - My guts are going nuts!
gutsheardnuts
↓
e06cf996-37f3-43d9-8786-98605ca417fe.gif
- I've, uh--I've got to go.
↓
9b506ef4-3b1f-4530-b51b-27a67518d91e.gif
My friend can't poop unless I rub his belly.
bellyfriendpoop
↓
d77c3c1d-7b10-4aab-b344-24a0d8ae2307.gif
I'll be right back if you--
↓
6fa63f3d-4e8a-4d09-aee2-56d72640387c.gif
- I think I'm gonna go. - Okay.
↓
9bebc3e2-00f9-4ce8-9d81-4d3d6ad17092.gif
It's probably a no-go, okay.
↓
2be48bee-4a03-4b40-a32b-503022e0a3fd.gif
- Okay. - Ooh, you're with a lady.
lady
↓
4e10f86b-78c6-4173-bcf6-4dd60dd5b572.gif
- Shut up, Tim.
↓
59194a64-77ea-4659-a564-f42c03162d93.gif
- * Next time
↓
ead5f959-70b7-4b8c-ab99-c8b0d5671879.gif
* When they ask you
↓
e5f91e74-2b2b-49df-ba78-c48d5a71fc38.gif
* Where you're from *
↓
221ba771-7b26-4744-a9bd-dc357c3919c0.gif
* You gon' say Detroit city *
citydetroitdetroit-city
↓
1e5ad3c9-7cad-416d-a033-3046c6b85169.gif
* When we get back on our feet, yeah *
feet
↓
1c87fe24-9668-4641-91f8-cf78281d7d30.gif
* Yeah
↓
2774c634-a5b2-47f0-8c19-ed70485eda56.gif
*
↓
c71d05cf-d342-456c-9a33-b9aa154f1332.gif
- So WebMD says I have colitis.
↓
f7fecd36-0fd9-4165-8fc7-e8dc99c9ecca.gif
Turns out when I lost all that weight,
lostturnsweight
↓
c65a6c94-461d-493b-8660-599b4e8899ce.gif
I thought I was getting healthier.
healthier
↓
2b1ce6e3-2a06-4f2f-a7fd-9c13985a7f6b.gif
I was actually getting sick.
sick
↓
c557949f-f361-43ca-bc33-622c3089f45e.gif
So now I can't have milk, ice cream, cheese.
cheesecreammilk
↓
9fe02c81-0c2e-47c9-92f2-6ca1b6306a15.gif
Can't have yogurt.
yogurt
↓
57358cf7-55f3-47c1-825f-585c17113928.gif
- Dairy. - Yeah, exactly. Dairy.
dairy
↓
dbcd7452-9413-4f5a-98f9-5311eacd6d57.gif
Can't have it, so Chrissy made me
chrissy
↓
3e3fa887-4eb0-46af-8ad0-ccb7e869c80e.gif
a dairy-free dinner last night.
dairydinnerfreenight
↓
fe4f169f-0a3b-4604-8ca3-f50b3c865698.gif
It was actually pretty good.
↓
18ce9c59-11c8-4259-b55b-bf11cd5d506d.gif
God, I love her.
love
↓
56653812-acfe-4161-9c43-c6320e8f4a69.gif
Honestly, every day I wake up,
wake
↓
17ce0895-f5e4-4cd2-92d9-35e48d1fdd3a.gif
I'm so thankful to have her.
thankful
↓
5c5091b5-6fd1-49cd-ac5e-d64618034bfa.gif
When are you gonna settle down, man?
settle
↓
d10e508d-ce2e-482c-b5fc-389642dd8a02.gif
- Sure.
↓
04c41148-29cd-4ee5-b58f-e5eb0f65d22f.gif
- Excuse me!
excuse
↓
a440aa01-b223-4e34-9db1-a2db5718bcfe.gif
We're talking!
↓
e29f6f2b-fe8f-4d27-bfd1-79df5178e8bf.gif
Move it along.
along
↓
52b687ac-639f-48c3-a113-bc6d0d0c90b5.gif
Thanks.
thanks
↓
7485c1ea-362b-415c-8853-9423556a6ba7.gif
Seriously, man, when are you gonna settle down?
settle
↓
452e134f-7823-4a1d-b74c-1caf853f0936.gif
It's amazing.
amazing
↓
0ab03864-84b5-4ba8-a42a-24fca0c257fb.gif
- Yeah, Tim, I do want to meet somebody.
meetsomebody
↓
fd4eba51-1551-4f24-84cf-c977915d8367.gif
- Hey, I like your shirt.
shirt
↓
ac66578d-6ff0-454a-a900-a7c6787870b5.gif
That color looks great on you.
color
↓
e379c0a8-58cc-447d-b121-c8f100d7fae0.gif
- Oh, so you just interrupt people?
interrupt
↓
a72bc247-cd87-47d1-8846-52f733ef9703.gif
Is that your whole gig, you interrupt folks?
folksinterruptwhole
↓
264a17c2-632a-486c-971c-babb644c45ca.gif
We don't know who you are.
↓
282503b6-aa22-4da3-9a7d-9950173d64e5.gif
Later, dude.
↓
b0d17427-dc71-4854-b256-73148c1760fe.gif
Seriously, why are you not settling down?
settling
↓
1d765310-76fb-476b-b5e5-1320a64c079c.gif
- Because of you, Tim!
↓
14011a88-d937-46b2-8f55-4f2fb0c0a5fe.gif
It's impossible to meet girls around you.
girlsimpossiblemeet
↓
5cce0279-5e56-476c-bdcf-5d6accc2b440.gif
- Okay, that's insane.
insane
↓
d11f9a11-9f46-437c-ab29-589e9117bf3c.gif
- Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, I'm insane, then.
insane
↓
c90b8de5-9ff3-44b1-811d-6e6c4cd48ee8.gif
- Suit yourself, man. Giving you advice.
advicegivingsuit
↓
02f00dd5-c1a2-44c5-b916-1b2ea7300942.gif
What if he's right?
↓
1c3db4b5-3950-47f1-9bdc-a04b0f3482b8.gif
What if he is insane
insane
↓
f0969bc3-e83c-497e-890a-e42e1c1717ca.gif
and I'm just a figment of his imagination?
imagination
↓
46a81d73-9a2a-46f0-a6db-fc576b445067.gif
Oh, man.
↓
4d68ea35-b2f7-483d-ab5f-9ae3cb6af697.gif
Oh, no.
↓
98e85370-1239-4c07-8c7d-cd137ea31a34.gif
Oh, crap.
↓
34ab7782-d026-498f-8a7f-fa92e66722e0.gif
Tell Sam the Vernors kicked in.
kickedvernors
↓
7bce92cc-a40e-4780-9d0a-f177f02717d9.gif
- Tim said to tell you the Vernors started working.
startedstarted-workingvernorsworking
↓
0008e300-f724-40b8-a29b-6a2a8fbee103.gif
- Ah, that means he had to go home and dump.
dumphome
↓
84c4c3a6-03a1-4b19-8c27-c20fd14e50a4.gif
- Everybody knows what that means.
everybodyeverybody-knowsknows
↓
b8460997-3cc1-45a1-8837-72e9b92f37c0.gif
- Yeah, grown man can only poop at home.
grownhomepoop
↓
c6640cd1-05c5-494c-aecf-85338b1db75f.gif
- I can poop anywhere, anytime.
anytimepoop
↓
ed0911af-fb9f-4214-980a-9a0e4e4f3f72.gif
- Okay. - Yzerman Drive was bananas.
bananasdrive
↓
c0423ce0-0487-49a6-aa3b-eab5695f995f.gif
- Yeah, well, it's Hockeytown, babe.
babe
↓
d6f7ed3a-627d-4211-8e7f-9d656b0a7918.gif
- Sandy, get me a pop.
sandy
↓
b6a99964-d1c7-4a35-b6c0-95016f339b51.gif
- Make that two pops,
pops
↓
87a68391-ef68-4bbb-b6e1-b7f959f85d2f.gif
and I'll take some apps and ranch.
appsranch
↓
c1beb4a6-990d-4552-a74d-797de5e63bc3.gif
- Excuse us.
excuse
↓
4ead2856-b052-4a42-80d6-d6909d3d7ba1.gif
Can we use your stool for our jackets?
jacketsstool
↓
cce01a1d-8a3d-422c-80ed-b290b15ef5d1.gif
- Yeah, go nuts.
nuts
↓
fc921a1d-c5f6-454e-a5c5-726527de1983.gif
- Oh, remind me.
remind
↓
c3b16a64-2311-458d-956d-63ca44d85c26.gif
We got to stop at Meijer's
↓
af019ac6-eecd-4b0e-ba9c-b0d4a6aef84c.gif
for some crackers and pop.
crackers
↓
b8012e7d-2295-4a11-a1d3-35167411a5f6.gif
[The Spinners' "Could it Be I'm Falling In Love
fallinglovespinners
↓
8fb7066c-270a-4139-94ad-bd8380346387.gif
*
↓
2d22fbbd-7a34-4303-a953-c5ac4f664057.gif
- * Since I met you
↓
cc2914cf-2f43-46a6-a618-f43c4b70a530.gif
* I've begun to feel so strange *
begunstrange
↓
97d7b7ab-5ff4-4b7f-aa47-70763b37acbf.gif
* Every time I speak your name *
namespeak
↓
e3f365ca-a68b-4290-bb74-0d42f34eb8a2.gif
* That's funny *
funny
↓
64cedb4b-fa7a-45ea-914f-2e9a97c5d7fe.gif
* You say that you
↓
d8586557-5369-47b3-8ce8-234232980b15.gif
* Are so helpless too
helpless
↓
ea333523-8358-44fd-9cd6-587dea24d28c.gif
* That you don't know what to do *
↓
dd262b0c-452f-45f7-8ee3-e95b2c8856f9.gif
* Hoo
↓
a4413fe4-c45f-4298-98a9-5a36c734a4f5.gif
* Each night I pray
nightpray
↓
9a5f0975-f8d3-40b7-8da4-153ed2a49ba8.gif
* There will never come a day
↓
e2755e24-d156-4c37-ba4c-f873d3878967.gif
* When you up and take your love away *
love
↓
c03b0525-0ea0-4d9c-bfbc-00e1109f5b69.gif
* Say you feel the same way too *
↓
9eb72590-12d4-4811-ad41-19f61e53a61d.gif
* And I wonder what
wonder
↓
581c18f2-6de8-491c-b055-479cd211a155.gif
*
↓
6830dd93-c4f0-444c-9d7c-080bd4102df8.gif
- What the--
↓
db2fc267-2b50-4370-a26e-ad9449a88e33.gif
- You can't do that.
↓
948709a3-6666-4bc4-b2d7-b5057aaf9f2b.gif
*
↓
b8b097d4-3766-430c-a0fd-175092ee6020.gif
I'd like to order him a martini.
martiniorder
↓
1f9ee013-b0dd-4eb9-b452-effedd66a829.gif
- Absolutely.
absolutely
↓
7b3095c5-1349-43ec-8a07-2e3b1b979dea.gif
- I didn't order that, and I'm not paying for that.
orderpaying
↓
2498fb29-3106-464a-9dc0-dd85cf620a39.gif
It's a freaking scam, dude.
freakingscam
↓
a42c84f4-1248-4bc3-8744-e8b1d51187a3.gif
- Compliments of Councilwoman Gwinnett.
complimentscouncilwoman
↓
11a632dd-41a0-46ff-bcd7-58b2ad01eabf.gif
- Oh!
↓
e997a06a-813c-4836-8eab-0d2e31025f01.gif
Ah.
↓
26c91715-2c99-4f4e-8a7b-59fb68d9ecc0.gif
- Hi there. - Hey.
↓
13485028-da58-4a11-8c1a-7f3d24c91ae3.gif
Uh, thanks for the drink.
drinkthanks
↓
c97d437e-787d-4f0e-9eae-f1dbb79e7918.gif
- Oh, sure.
↓
78b3e6ea-08ba-4646-9fa3-937dc9ed3383.gif
Are you alone?
alone
↓
98cbb358-fbac-49bb-8271-7132ea29260f.gif
- Well, not anymore.
anymore
↓
1ba294df-52a0-4e4a-923e-197ade9babfa.gif
- I'm looking for a good time.
looking
↓
e3e7e8e0-ffc6-4c9c-9cfd-89885c84be96.gif
- Well...you found one.
found
↓
6ee7dcda-c637-45d7-b3d1-56c38c744299.gif
*
↓
090e526b-c7c9-4ecc-99c0-60caa512eeae.gif
- Cock-a-doodle-doo!
cockdoodle
↓
8a30f122-71cb-4c4d-b9c5-a2fc7ad30bfc.gif
- Hey.
↓
9cdd9ff6-cc19-4a0a-9ca2-08862b1abc84.gif
That was good. - Yeah.
↓
dd4666f9-5b2a-46ef-adc4-284da4636fb6.gif
- So...until the next time.
↓
37bc93a8-4264-4cce-9e14-b596507b33e8.gif
*
↓
cde2dcc2-a0e9-44f1-8173-2986e9565d11.gif
- I mean, well, there's got to be
↓
a322bc8e-72fb-4457-b856-cbbe08c6a0fc.gif
a lot of reasons why she'd leave $300
reasonsshed
↓
d0c94488-8174-4d40-95ab-c8bf1dd8ee38.gif
on my nightstand.
nightstand
↓
d383a9f1-1afc-423a-8ddb-f309135329fe.gif
- Sure, maybe she broke something
broke
↓
f736fc58-fe5a-4b14-8d42-192353008d72.gif
and she wanted to pay for it.
wanted
↓
3e6afad4-5649-48d7-a2db-c37459b485df.gif
Morning hot dogs for Sam
dogsmorning
↓
eee529d9-595e-4689-b93f-0af41bc6f2f4.gif
and hot dogs Benedict for my lady.
dogslady
↓
fc785e1f-0833-472f-bbba-207ddbde2626.gif
- Thank you, babe.
babe
↓
db5e084f-6458-462a-a5c3-ca3ac57c1dd3.gif
- Well, she did rip my Superman underwear
supermanunderwear
↓
36d14f09-a402-4009-bccc-38024b164757.gif
when she took them off.
↓
f95e6d33-a2c5-494e-bbf2-a5a8f72de28d.gif
- Well, there you go.
↓
b6a90f91-e278-42b8-93a4-700dd3e67584.gif
- But if that's true,
↓
ca389dd7-ec05-4ab6-8044-99614ba4e4a7.gif
she wildly overvalued them.
wildly
↓
1a953772-234a-4ded-8a30-c45887a6a18f.gif
- Not if you account for sentimental value.
accountsentimentalvalue
↓
564b8900-1c0d-47ba-836b-e81116adf80c.gif
You loved those. - I did love those.
loveloved
↓
feba5c3f-ec12-45f3-ba2f-529822a6603a.gif
- You did. - Well, that's it.
↓
d48e6dd6-7ab0-4d35-8a21-2a2d12059506.gif
both: That's it. We figured it out.
figured
↓
a413e6b8-6995-45c0-9696-06951d1959f9.gif
- That's easy. That's actually pretty easy.
easy
↓
d3200421-1008-4cc0-b170-45a6b6f53c90.gif
- That's one of our best mysteries.
bestmysteries
↓
fa9416fa-a016-4188-ac21-e102790a4bce.gif
- No. Sam, she thinks you're a whore.
thinkswhore
↓
7f8bc101-fd72-49b2-8779-a5f352f3fcae.gif
- Chrissy!
chrissy
↓
7e8f976e-58f0-47f1-903c-0e21a338a15d.gif
Why would she need a prostitute?
prostitute
↓
3ce1483c-49b0-463f-9885-ca5241641265.gif
She's amazing.
amazing
↓
a1b75467-9b1d-46df-b32d-217fca179c24.gif
- Hold on.
↓
6beea8ac-c5ae-4cda-8726-bf0a5d2e5c59.gif
Eliot Spitzer was amazing.
amazingeliot
↓
02878f6a-980f-42ce-a646-5597cf36891e.gif
- Is. - Is.
↓
ea760b79-7f00-4423-a1d7-a452fb3e1a7f.gif
- He looks like Skeletor with the skin on.
skin
↓
e52f3557-60e7-4875-933e-968ade418a45.gif
Mm-mm-mm!
↓
c92f79ae-8c63-4892-883f-9b74fa53af1a.gif
- And he used prostitutes, Sam.
prostitutesused
↓
12261b42-28f4-43fa-a8fd-692c46abccad.gif
- Mm-hmm.
↓
af7f3bd3-888f-4ed0-86ea-0f5f25ed9e8e.gif
- * If you want to know
↓
02f4e54f-fd85-40dd-b132-ae559458a635.gif
* Where it all belongs
belongs
↓
505fe6e9-31da-43ed-9a55-14b00b7f4ec2.gif
- Ow!
↓
43c5440a-7442-449f-97a1-1ebff62c1e2d.gif
- * It's magic *
magic
↓
c951f19e-c893-4afc-b969-03364fb79f6d.gif
- Aw, suki, suki!
↓
2c7d61fb-b6b0-4afb-9d5f-99c554a9490a.gif
- * Oh
↓
2732df95-fd70-43c1-99da-19ec9ec02ada.gif
*
↓
78c37fdf-760d-4b9a-846e-5f1e2be6cdbe.gif
* If you ever go
↓
5057532f-6d53-40f5-91ef-aac98da7d054.gif
* Don't be scared *
scared
↓
28bbd333-f3c3-46b4-bfb3-6a55d50cce39.gif
* 'Cause you know *
↓
376642d8-f5e7-44f7-8806-ac028d3dc082.gif
* There's magic *
magic
↓
0902a866-6cca-4b10-9c9f-69d6fd40b596.gif
* Na-ah, na, na-na
↓
fa8827fc-fdd6-4f60-8038-f6d33aad33ba.gif
* Na-na, na, na
↓
5ffdcfa5-9e4c-4533-b4ea-e18c567abd7b.gif
* Na-na, na, na, na-na-na
↓
18f809ff-d595-4275-b567-dca2a59e2281.gif
* Na, na
↓
31a496a0-95be-4dd9-a2da-a88182628c50.gif
* Na, na, na
↓
7e6d7629-2dd2-4600-bdeb-6a9c983cd8c4.gif
* Na, na, na, na
↓
0cf2dd01-8c90-4be4-858f-1627178fc7ef.gif
* Na-na, na, na, na-na-na
↓
ebeba6a6-90ab-49e2-a8ec-3e2fbef745f3.gif
* Na, na
↓
eb57dbfb-8470-4f7e-b813-17e208430a42.gif
* Na, na, na
↓
01950a51-6c0a-4ca2-bbe8-0cc36bca043f.gif
* Na, na, na, na
↓
ec2be3c4-d5c3-4a3f-92ae-3b85072b3785.gif
* Na-na, na, na, na-na-na, na *
↓
6015d5ff-795d-4214-9e68-5e6e48fae06c.gif
- Oh, my God, you're a full-on prostitute now.
fullprostitute
↓
079a5155-61aa-4b54-a751-8f994c3379fc.gif
- No, I'm not.
↓
7c6301a6-360f-4740-9e38-7b430ef2fb4c.gif
My lady just likes her baby looking fine,
babyladylikeslooking
↓
80af6bf0-c806-45b0-89ea-a96ac92082ff.gif
so she gives me monetary gifts
giftsgives
↓
3d8f9023-75e5-4234-b949-5ce96d8835c7.gif
so I can buy nice things.
↓
14646d60-2a87-4e52-bf94-8fda2a05b2fb.gif
Now, where's the remote?
remote
↓
3a3c22e1-7a55-4e76-beb4-eed863d185d2.gif
Rachel's giving a press conference,
conferencegivingpresspress-conference
↓
9eb4d1f3-4b8a-468e-a816-62307e9d09e1.gif
and she said she's gonna work my name into her speech.
namespeech
↓
d6ebca6a-bd0f-47dc-ac61-ee74ace6e6eb.gif
- I would like to assure the people of Detroit
assuredetroit
↓
dc437eb3-55bb-4ef6-b206-bb909f1d2932.gif
that I have done no wrong.
↓
62a768d8-6af6-4de1-87a0-ad1c8c05883a.gif
And at the Sam time--
↓
615b769d-8487-4c89-a556-3f3184d029da.gif
- Psh, barely.
barely
↓
8f72c4ea-ac4c-4c5d-83ab-0fa4ad996365.gif
- I'm sorry, at the same time,
↓
3d2f61d8-98c1-49b6-996f-a39e9b8170b3.gif
I would also like to apologize to Speaker Roberts
apologizerobertsspeaker
↓
03ee7d3e-8ef6-412c-b9bc-ba8be883bf9f.gif
for...calling him a Minion.
calling
↓
c9ba9e6d-ff40-42c0-9ecc-d3bab67b50d9.gif
Any questions?
questions
↓
fd671877-0c2e-4942-baaf-bffb2cdb5506.gif
- Look at him.
↓
1ddcbcb8-70b9-40bf-baf5-4365692f051b.gif
- Over here.
↓
ba1e0b76-cd84-4e96-9767-e54ae8a0b9a8.gif
- Right here, right here, right here.
↓
565572ca-60d3-4f09-97c3-e40dce4a8379.gif
- Councilwoman, I have a question for you.
councilwomanquestion
↓
7f753793-8703-4430-8331-86cfaab0481a.gif
- Hey.
↓
87be2fe0-e947-4448-8b7b-4f006ecb4865.gif
- I'm good.
↓
2dea5bc6-33ab-4367-91f9-61f75cba0ca3.gif
Anything happen?
happen
↓
cfbf41d7-e435-46d6-ae4c-6cf403fd2131.gif
- You know Cheryl who works on the line next to me?
cheryllineworks
↓
e610018a-2cd8-460b-acf0-537b83f9bbd5.gif
- Of course.
course
↓
46d1b1fe-b81f-4c3d-ab43-8d883ef4216e.gif
- Turns out she was an undercover boss.
bossturnsundercover
↓
b529b105-afb4-4002-871a-a0863082f26b.gif
- No shit.
↓
776e818d-d02c-4053-8a90-9d58666905ab.gif
- Yeah, fake hair, fake nose, everything.
fakehairnose
↓
8ad6c7cc-0efb-463d-aa48-0eeee0fe5d6e.gif
She's, like, the CEO of Chrysler.
chrysler
↓
bb7269fe-3a43-4ac3-934a-98da2694abe8.gif
- Wow.
↓
42adc35e-354e-4995-952d-62823b8fd88c.gif
- Sam's a full-on prostitute now.
fullprostitutesams
↓
f90072fd-5bbe-4440-bde8-e5a3279d01d6.gif
Yeah, monochrome suit, earring, the whole nine yards.
earringninenine-yardssuitwholewhole-ninewhole-nine-yardsyards
↓
b32b6252-19b0-4c47-8752-8c0bea2bb01f.gif
- What an idiot.
idiot
↓
6e7f197a-454e-446d-84cc-9bbc7dad879a.gif
- Such an idiot, getting all dressed up,
dressedidiot
↓
54767b18-4be4-4e6a-8510-9e95bb66f7c7.gif
having drinks at fancy hotels.
drinksfancyhavinghotels
↓
acd8eec7-7a94-4798-b10d-9fe876410c40.gif
- Then going upstairs for dirty, meaningless sex
dirtymeaninglessupstairs
↓
d2e0fbef-2bc1-4d14-9bcb-0fcee2b86107.gif
with no strings attached.
attachedstringsstrings-attached
↓
860b6426-9b56-4ef6-92cb-29906459bf56.gif
- Monochrome suits, earring, the whole nine yards.
earringninenine-yardssuitswholewhole-ninewhole-nine-yardsyards
↓
35e3d77d-a077-4c39-810a-0bf1678b5f20.gif
- No names, just sweat and bodies.
bodiesnamessweat
↓
334b314b-822a-4a0d-8cde-7fb6b06b8180.gif
- Monochrome suit.
suit
↓
11986e65-516b-4fd0-aaa0-bb0f6f761ba7.gif
What do you want for dinner?
dinner
↓
e2222fa2-85df-4725-94bc-4daaff93c277.gif
- Milk and cheese, please.
cheesemilk
↓
6284a95e-f7d2-4965-83c8-e238d7d13ba0.gif
- You can't have dairy. - Pizza.
dairypizza
↓
069def3f-8223-468a-870b-11154f1df340.gif
- I got you something.
↓
981ee652-7045-40d0-8460-c888e737cc84.gif
It's a PANDORA bracelet.
bracelet
↓
b40b30c1-294d-497b-a545-387a29ed22e1.gif
'Cause, you know,
↓
68dbe4af-c0e0-498c-a1e1-2ce6eda8c89b.gif
that's the nature of our relationship.
naturerelationship
↓
91817bba-0854-4214-8695-ab614b626825.gif
We both give each other things, you know.
↓
63042bb4-b4e5-41fe-bdb5-db7188badfe0.gif
Yup, this one's a heart, you know, for obvious reasons.
heartobviousonesreasons
↓
e3195ee3-2345-4cf4-8ac5-0bf7f8756cfd.gif
This one's an owl because you finished college.
collegefinishedones
↓
69e74696-b18c-4951-8f1d-c653fe78f89a.gif
And this one's a soccer ball because it's rad.
ballonessoccer
↓
986f97d5-1bf9-4a13-bde7-d56c77f9d75b.gif
- I'm sorry.
↓
eda5f961-2a10-4ab4-a831-a9fab2afae79.gif
Sam, did I misinterpret something?
↓
1992fd6b-5db7-4673-908a-dd93c847c907.gif
Are you a prostitute?
prostitute
↓
84b05f10-9751-43a2-aa0f-4e9f74ddc5c3.gif
Are you a prostitute?
prostitute
↓
43094845-1d61-419d-ab86-14455dc5697e.gif
- I'm sorry, one more time.
↓
4c51d6f2-09e5-46f5-bc15-bc25779ecadb.gif
Are you sure you're a prostitute?
prostitute
↓
9d882003-545d-4c3e-ab8c-c1ac47906227.gif
Of course I'm a prostitute, all right?
courseprostitute
↓
4dc10456-441f-4b9e-bd07-a8ae7f747e5e.gif
- Just checking.
checking
↓
991c3c43-9a77-4292-81fd-4ba2ee181e65.gif
- Good.
↓
c4ebbbff-de10-4f68-a01b-527e4e5ff4c1.gif
- Good night, Sam,
night
↓
a10299b5-2e2a-415e-a533-a67b3093de4a.gif
or whatever your real name is.
namerealreal-name
↓
650eb7b2-0494-4902-82c6-f184e914e26b.gif
- It's Sam.
↓
22ca79ee-2860-4bd1-a1a6-b9fa9f772826.gif
- From the lady.
lady
↓
88b07b73-876c-4ea3-9a5e-780cd249db2e.gif
- I don't want it.
↓
785e748a-c6a5-4937-8936-8b77d2ba56e4.gif
Hey, wait...
↓
d92722e2-8a43-4244-898e-7ca5517d6870.gif
I'm a fricking whore.
frickingwhore
↓
906abf77-ce0d-44f8-a267-838e6b362e28.gif
*
↓
c3326488-1f30-46d1-9e9f-609931504d4a.gif
- Sam.
↓
fd083aa4-f999-4903-bf3a-5c98b661221b.gif
What is the meaning of this?
meaning
↓
53a9af51-9e74-4c72-b1cd-5d189a5cc42d.gif
"Get satisfied today by Sam 'The Man' Duvet"?
duvetsatisfiedtoday
↓
a27b83b5-7d2b-4576-b8b8-d5656c2368b1.gif
- Tim, she pressed me about really being
pressed
↓
e6a392c7-ec56-4905-91e2-66bc2bd324b1.gif
a prostitute; I freaked out.
freakedprostitute
↓
e57597ad-6cf4-4d44-970a-d6b436294aed.gif
You know, I thought I got to create a paper trail.
createpapertrail
↓
1eb9d69d-71b2-4a62-8735-83950369b527.gif
- This is offensive.
offensive
↓
65913826-a806-4048-9ea8-606c7032978e.gif
- Tim, I'm not actually a prostitute.
prostitute
↓
2dc14be2-bd7c-4f9b-9f2c-fb284b185b7d.gif
- No, I'm offended you didn't come to me to produce this ad.
offendedproduce
↓
cd86b804-fa3f-413e-8ed7-480707bca2dc.gif
I could have done so much with you.
↓
a7267888-3e58-40ca-a84e-ae875d8c6f76.gif
Can't even see your nipples.
nipples
↓
820ae7fd-fbdb-4742-8302-dabc9791b4b8.gif
How's it doing?
↓
bf24fc74-8d82-4bef-8b14-f630573aef12.gif
- Not bad.
↓
6b08e7d5-862c-4c6e-827a-a23be99f60f9.gif
A lot of texts, mostly wang pics.
mostlypicstextswang
↓
e157f578-c27f-4c91-bf6d-c9c8de5c5944.gif
The real mistake was using my actual phone number.
actualmistakenumberphonephone-numberrealusing
↓
a6c8da50-1d15-4b98-9068-1547d9eec50b.gif
- Oh, sure, yeah.
↓
96027603-3585-41c3-b51b-23457d89017a.gif
- Oh, come on.
↓
400a3936-d8ed-48c5-85b6-9f8a8bdf64fe.gif
- Oh!
↓
4d568d00-93bc-4bf9-a302-b8ecaa94a010.gif
- Tim, you think this is all worth it?
worth
↓
5cc2d3c2-4aef-4a78-a7a9-3c9bb4d229c0.gif
Do you think she really likes me?
likes
↓
99cd6be8-ed1a-4ba2-adfc-ce657069af3f.gif
- No, man.
↓
09debf70-4d7d-4dc0-a71a-24e5d1cbd73b.gif
I think she thinks you're a fricking prostitute.
frickingprostitutethinks
↓
0cc7bccb-6851-4a0b-9d23-d7068b5975b3.gif
- Yeah, but I really, really like her,
↓
896314f4-c7c1-4c77-b700-319cf564e6f2.gif
and, you know, maybe if I keep this up long enough,
↓
e114245a-6633-45e6-bd5b-fb94120d74d4.gif
she'll discover that she really, really likes me too.
discoverlikesshell
↓
93a5bb25-ab65-470f-8eff-423d3fb7832f.gif
Like in "She's All That"?
↓
3e17832d-21b4-4450-a8cb-0b751689534e.gif
- Exactly like in "She's All That."
↓
4aa57f14-30d3-4de3-b384-f10ba07876bc.gif
- I have a delivery from Councilwoman Gwinnett
councilwomandelivery
↓
8193d55d-4288-40da-83a9-092dcd27cf1f.gif
for Sam Duvet?
duvet
↓
3b40bb24-3fb2-428b-9ff3-5788b449e9a4.gif
Councilwoman Gwinnett would like to see you
councilwoman
↓
70aaedde-a494-430b-b6dc-5e9435e734c0.gif
at the charity event tonight
charitycharity-eventeventtonight
↓
21781042-9d7a-47ec-ab71-2110df09582e.gif
at the Detroit Institute of Arts.
artsdetroitinstitute
↓
96f8f6bc-9f10-4789-8183-38e210e52e35.gif
She'd like you to wear this.
shedwear
↓
292f8fb7-6438-43fb-8be4-cf88b9545484.gif
*
↓
7b5f876b-0f4a-48b0-8a4b-1e92d1d6dc02.gif
- Tim, a tuxedo,
tuxedo
↓
87ad14e0-73ef-4d24-92c4-19483099f999.gif
a charity event, a museum?
charitycharity-eventeventmuseum
↓
f8d2ae82-8ed1-459c-9389-702a29c24ed7.gif
- Mm.
↓
8e9418bf-4a28-41d1-93cf-7cb4434168d4.gif
- Tim, tonight might be the night.
mightnighttonight
↓
e0aa6fa5-6ee9-41bd-bfc3-732e68acab9a.gif
- You did it.
↓
bd27052a-1b34-413c-b16e-4bfb70ec8e3c.gif
You "She's All That'd" her.
thatd
↓
fc4ae439-a1ca-44a6-9077-1431671dd7cb.gif
- I sure did.
↓
2180eff3-67b4-4601-ba33-ab5cb5b9ca90.gif
*
↓
d961ca2e-9cbf-45b9-9446-1df67b89bd04.gif
- Change in plans.
changeplans
↓
826c3f04-4cb3-4220-81a6-b91b96f18e14.gif
I need you to get out of here.
↓
e96a580e-2f13-4785-9ae6-26b170bb7f62.gif
- Yes.
↓
8d79f3a2-30b2-44e4-925c-24992cc6b91a.gif
Is that another pro?
another
↓
ad39c490-5270-499f-96be-6e183e2ac208.gif
Does he have an ad in the paper?
paper
↓
9a0c1477-6c18-48d2-b1f9-773184d18735.gif
Because I do.
↓
92c02a3e-5dc0-4bdc-9fac-7626b81cbd85.gif
- That's my husband.
husband
↓
4aea099b-3b7b-45e8-8b6f-a9c1c9f96006.gif
- Yes.
↓
d7abcf20-1225-4c05-991d-7093c3e8f99d.gif
- Sam, would you keep your voice down?
voice
↓
ad2d42f1-d6b4-46e5-a19a-f03a3f7f2ae8.gif
- I will not keep my voice down!
voice
↓
ca09d52e-5d41-45ae-82de-6c26c68e3eb7.gif
- Okay, Sam, you need to pull it together.
pull
↓
fd9f9b03-2c16-4dd3-a4c4-286a763d703f.gif
- A man that I pay for sex.
↓
78ec5bed-af28-41bd-90da-1d146df40f59.gif
- Yeah, but when we met,
↓
da1629c8-a757-4a48-856f-98df58cd8fd2.gif
didn't you feel a connection?
connection
↓
885fe8fb-962f-4c9f-b2a7-dbb0963cf7aa.gif
- No, not really.
↓
4fe4a86e-cb39-4c4a-861b-63845dd8c0f6.gif
You were at the Jefferson Hotel.
hoteljefferson
↓
74719cfb-2b0e-428f-9c58-f6d2152d6ee4.gif
You were holding a single rose.
holdingrosesingle
↓
09a2c5e6-ea29-4ad0-9e42-b351630ff822.gif
That's the signal for a honey boy
honeysignal
↓
eccb42d8-9e8e-4172-968a-3bbe40ec241f.gif
open for business.
businessopen
↓
1de3fff8-a2ba-4d99-a139-b1fec77fbeff.gif
- So that's all I am to you, huh?
↓
90de45f5-2e88-4f20-8c0a-fd38ece69f6f.gif
Just some honey boy, huh?
honey
↓
5f9699a0-3cd1-4a2d-99cd-fc005eab891b.gif
That's all I am,
↓
4763765d-d1a5-4989-8641-6116471f7c79.gif
just some big dick for money, huh?
dickmoney
↓
ba23d9f5-bc0e-4620-92f4-fe2217cb2e39.gif
Is that it?
↓
530963e5-85a7-44a5-8a79-b013bc3a251f.gif
Just a veiny wang with a knot at the end
knotwang
↓
2e53faa5-437a-4515-99a2-3003ed0033cc.gif
and two huge, pendulum balls?
ballshuge
↓
97e3bcce-9771-4138-98f7-69fb1ba585ea.gif
Is that all I am, huh?
↓
90b8566b-5c25-4262-b36a-9861886a3a49.gif
Yeah, just a guy with a Joe Louis fist in his pants
fistlouispants
↓
9f38c3d4-9260-4fb8-ad38-c9d7d3093992.gif
and a freshly bleached butthole you could eat off of?
bleachedbuttholefreshly
↓
3530eec9-478d-40e1-8335-54c345a649c6.gif
Mwah! Mama mia.
mamamwah
↓
cf226a67-afb1-4d68-8ced-6f088a7a7109.gif
Is that it?
↓
b2b5550a-d7e8-4f33-b28e-d314355c0dd5.gif
Well, Rachel, this huge,
hugerachel
↓
a0b4617b-63cd-420e-9ee6-d13baf53869c.gif
honking pecker is attached to a body,
attachedbodyhonkingpecker
↓
43c39445-c772-4a58-9ff6-dc6f9f7b895b.gif
and that body has a heart
bodyheart
↓
e86a26b7-2483-47ca-b5fe-d711bb3941c4.gif
and a soul and a brain
brainsoul
↓
c52ae63c-3c80-4fa7-bc3e-ba6e1217d6f7.gif
and arms, feet, neck,
armsfeetneck
↓
9e508b6d-abf7-496f-909b-b34d7bce576f.gif
and--and--and--and--and--
↓
b79638a1-1612-4c12-bb82-e4791c9b2924.gif
- Sam. - Yeah, I know.
↓
ee76696e-81a8-424c-a211-5932a580a0ef.gif
I lost the thread there.
lostthread
↓
f71ae194-2e66-4bfe-9b59-3c4475e70ad4.gif
What was I s--
↓
9f384c91-ddc4-4e8c-b170-289500869392.gif
And just a huge pecker!
hugepecker
↓
9c49905f-4597-4896-a641-fa3c10811402.gif
*
↓
5b35be58-e043-4225-b0e3-0ed0f8da5cbb.gif
- From the lady.
lady
↓
af60217a-0c8a-474c-a04d-92e194d2ec11.gif
*
↓
b909bfad-eac9-4fbb-83e5-9aa2c07f2ab0.gif
- Thanks for the drink.
drinkthanks
↓
e32251c3-f2ab-4f21-9623-4221564d67d0.gif
- I'm looking for a date tonight.
datedate-tonightlookingtonight
↓
dd254e98-fbee-4ba5-85bf-83a9e94cb7c9.gif
- That's gonna cost you.
cost
↓
c51ce4e7-6d88-45d6-a4a7-2508ab78430e.gif
How much?
↓
acc1a6f2-316f-4676-89e2-ed92e9747986.gif
- $1 million.
million
↓
8585b3c7-e293-4abe-ac25-2caf813b568d.gif
- Worth every penny.
pennyworth
↓
3e3184f2-e46d-43e2-bcb0-af69b5fff906.gif
- No, thanks.
thanks
↓
c9469efa-05af-49a0-97ac-214cdccd2cda.gif
- What do you mean, "No, thanks"?
thanks
↓
2bce66ad-31fe-491a-bf2a-270e5addedb5.gif
We're pretending. What's it matter?
matterpretending
↓
6866dc51-25f8-4609-9ac9-7b880a1c29c4.gif
- It's pretend money.
moneypretend
↓
70ee7a7a-e8a7-4229-8e26-8983710e6a83.gif
- Okay,
↓
a560ca0d-8698-4eaf-ad2d-5e4607771fdd.gif
what does a million dollars get me?
dollarsmillionmillion-dollars
↓
debfe7bc-87b8-423d-a258-bedcd0ee3074.gif
Salad tossing, to completion.
saladtossing
↓
59716755-8645-4079-af90-e385407e4241.gif
$500,000.
↓
e7c42601-c566-447b-b665-9ccb7261cebd.gif
- Ooh!
↓
abcbc67c-ed4b-44ae-b284-7cf5ad25a78c.gif
Fine, I'll do it,
↓
fa50f0fe-88a4-42aa-96cf-bd147fd27afe.gif
but my pimp's gonna kill me.
kill
↓
83885845-7b0b-40c9-b29c-73df1aa3edba.gif
- Say, pretty boy,
↓
56c93636-1458-43e7-b7e8-03aff5fdcf1d.gif
what's your name?
name
↓
c1b78846-2b5f-40cf-beea-8f24bedea55f.gif
- Sam Duvet.
duvet
↓
37c081cd-12d6-4d2d-868c-9b935b0b1452.gif
- Ugh, Tim, that's nasty.
nasty
↓
2c8695bb-e0db-430e-9455-7df4e6b122fe.gif
You could pick any name in the world,
namepickworld
↓
588d3b1b-e54f-4c70-b947-07e4bd17ed8f.gif
and you pick my brother's?
brotherspick
↓
bbd84102-28e9-4f87-9837-497fd6bf4b0d.gif
- My name is...
name
↓
8be91950-fb5c-4b7e-bbd6-8814bc536993.gif
Chrissy Cramblin.
chrissycramblin
↓
db0a6bf1-a497-40ea-8371-11e8885da179.gif
- That's my name.
name
↓
fe4053b1-473a-46b5-ac5a-0ac9b4bef410.gif
- I'm not good at making up names.
names
↓
ba92697c-9f52-43c0-8032-65b961a27ec2.gif
- Just come on.
↓
ec93a214-15ae-4a84-97ce-61d25fe3e02f.gif
Bubba Sparxxx.
↓
613f4b1b-88b7-4346-9df5-5587b003c068.gif
*
↓
15d58822-ef53-4cf9-a842-8f4e3d61e3be.gif
- Hey, pal. You all right?
↓
76232028-3e5b-4834-87bd-92b5176f467a.gif
- I don't want to talk about it.
↓
94499d37-b822-4b77-947e-36195522dfc2.gif
- Scandal rocks local government
governmentlocalrocksscandal
↓
74ae87ba-53ec-417f-b1ed-30e642b607b8.gif
as Councilwoman Rachel Gwinnett
councilwomanrachel
↓
f1ee5aaf-0bc4-42c7-904f-86e66a71d490.gif
was caught using city funds
caughtcityfundsusing
↓
3d0f0901-08b2-4a01-9640-afd4bbbd44ed.gif
to buy the services of a local male prostitute.
localmaleprostituteservices
↓
48d1290a-53c3-48c2-975b-497219969946.gif
- Oh, no. My parents are gonna see this.
parents
↓
b74ac1c4-271f-4df4-9e76-bef53a854af0.gif
- Don't worry. They won't know it's you.
worry
↓
fe27d1a5-3356-422f-b6c7-19dd2530ff88.gif
- The honey boy in question, Sam "The Man" Duvet,
duvethoneyquestion
↓
32962999-2e29-498b-80c0-ba98a2bde9ad.gif
was confirmed to be a prostitute
confirmedprostitute
↓
118d6d51-dcc7-47de-95f8-5fab017e4808.gif
thanks to the following unreleased ad.
followingthanks
↓
770a2271-2790-4570-892d-c361bdd79b0e.gif
I can dance all night, baby.
babydancenight
↓
40d785f4-f82c-4eb9-9cb9-074e771b7b81.gif
Touching.
touching
↓
446ebed3-cdc3-4041-9810-62718cde23e5.gif
Licking.
licking
↓
830c1e98-32f7-41eb-84f1-de46758ad81f.gif
Butts.
butts
↓
3f7f6e5d-bbf3-4332-9cf5-5080356876f1.gif
*
↓
f1188cf9-922a-410e-b1ce-cb03659c0ba1.gif
Orgasmic.
orgasmic
↓
a6b1a61f-995b-4d5a-b3bb-73a417724be6.gif
Well, how'd they get that?
howd
↓
b9bdd777-e5de-495c-8268-d3a1f0512449.gif
- I sent it in.
sent
↓
03aae34b-fad2-474e-ab9b-37c2060f038b.gif
It's the best thing we've ever done, Sam.
best
↓
9f289339-a009-4e7b-81fa-079e13fc24ba.gif
- We now go live
live
↓
5d8a605b-04e6-4d56-b84a-9c0fbc03b159.gif
to Councilwoman Gwinnett's press conference.
conferencecouncilwomanpresspress-conference
↓
bb72ae1b-3cc3-4710-a527-5278629391e8.gif
- Once again, I apologize to the city of Detroit.
apologizecitydetroit
↓
1d970a40-40a9-4726-8aa3-928767df5562.gif
I've let you down.
↓
b499907a-516f-478b-ad7e-c5e44cde09ef.gif
I should have never consorted
↓
41c6061b-636d-4abc-97c5-59219c6f79a9.gif
with that bimbo.
↓
1a1a091a-95b4-4ece-adde-68b60e3c4afa.gif
And the worst thing is, he wasn't all that good.
worst
↓
3a05accd-61f3-4bc2-a522-9bcff4ad9abc.gif
- Oh, well, she's lying about that.
lying
↓
6bbd1dc5-52a5-4ffa-808c-3f27ea1828e7.gif
- Sure, I know. - He wasn't all that good.
↓
bff52c21-f82f-4630-a4f3-8a6256e49cee.gif
And he had an aggressively medium wang.
aggressivelymediumwang
↓
c93def91-ec87-4149-8d37-8ae585dead4f.gif
- She's lying! She's a liar.
liarlying
↓
9a1e9864-ba1a-4ca1-8bf5-f9986488aeec.gif
- Next up, Red Wings fans
fanswings
↓
4217fb38-1ace-4757-8c5a-62ab6f9aa885.gif
have something to cheer about,
cheer
↓
fb089af4-c9fa-4fe1-b09a-5fd71a4ed5ed.gif
as they recover two frozen bodies from the ice.
bodiesfrozenrecover
↓
5ae769b8-d3c9-475e-a762-e24177ac3b16.gif
- See those girls playing pool?
girlsplayingpool
↓
dea0f8b3-d2cb-4426-80a5-f79222a95e81.gif
One of them was looking at you.
looking
↓
a77d06ff-dc02-49e8-9c81-15d276c7c8e5.gif
Come on, I'll introduce you.
introduce
↓
86c1d196-8663-485f-8cc9-38b4528d6c42.gif
- No way. - Oh, don't be nervous.
nervous
↓
fe96d8f1-d7b3-47c1-b73d-0bb0249d5393.gif
- I'm not nervous, Tim. You're just a terrible wingman.
nervouswingman
↓
7b72346a-c385-455d-afe2-e1518e5cad39.gif
- Fine, I'll just stay here.
↓
e7fc6a24-2ea1-4484-bd73-8e21ebc535de.gif
You go on over there.
↓
70a5562e-ab06-4cbb-a1d1-2cec64fb9340.gif
I'm just some guy at the bar
↓
37d73f37-957c-4027-a14c-18a1577f7996.gif
who doesn't even know you, doesn't love you.
love
↓
1d9fdeef-ca47-4c3a-ae13-9a868728c3c7.gif
Go on, buddy.
buddy
↓
98d6cd6c-dfbc-4346-8628-140f02f6b9a8.gif
- Thanks, buddy. - Yeah.
buddythanksthanks-buddy
↓
8fe9a2a8-c829-4dfa-b954-12ffa0214b40.gif
- I got next.
↓
84e9895d-e2a8-4d2b-bf50-05915ef6bddc.gif
- Well, that means you'll be playing me.
playing
↓
016f663b-dcac-44d4-9d9b-71e529fdec60.gif
- Mm-hmm.
↓
63e24db3-97c5-4191-a0b8-0ec283bae1ba.gif
- I'm Sam. - Vickie. Nice to meet you.
meet
↓
5af0c3d4-77f1-4efc-a9a0-1347c918b853.gif
- Nice to meet you. - Sorry, ladies.
ladiesmeet
↓
04f155a9-356a-4981-99d4-bfc37e5e7291.gif
- Don't. - I don't know this guy.
↓
5a284bca-1e0b-4c76-bfd8-b86de54cc7c1.gif
But I want to say...
↓
6627ec6f-45fa-41cb-a5ed-d0619e4391cf.gif
- He seems like a great guy,
seems
↓
a462d2c7-4bea-46c0-b634-d2619699df2d.gif
the kind of guy you'd be proud
proud
↓
efe51320-7543-4067-b9f6-51d93226f462.gif
to bring home to your parents.
bringbring-homehomeparents
↓
8d8e9a09-a847-4125-afdf-a2069c5ac817.gif
Just thought I'd drop by and say that.
drop
↓
dd857e55-379b-41cd-83af-c3d365b98b04.gif
I'll get out of your way.
↓
0f5f2d3a-5b1b-4264-8770-b7d3b0199d9b.gif
*
↓
f4a12c2c-a441-403f-a46a-aac69736a806.gif
- That was weird.
weird
↓
171cbc16-a950-4ec5-b377-7a876df04f4a.gif
Well, he's not wrong.
↓
363a3c6b-6b6d-46a8-a989-624dbbe7d515.gif
- Yeah.
↓
15a7ffde-4d70-4343-b72c-806c6402b1c0.gif
- Mm!
↓
bb1fea60-3e04-4931-8ed1-39053a7e53bf.gif
- Yeah. - I'm sorry.
↓
52ee7f8a-2fa8-464a-87f1-c4170aec2460.gif
I just realized that last interaction
interactionrealized
↓
8cfd923c-1e03-49dc-a5e4-d17a8b3ff71a.gif
may have come across a little weird.
weird
↓
da809599-cdce-4c63-af0e-4cc1efa75f1f.gif
That's because I forgot to introduce myself.
forgotintroduce
↓
d16a5cde-2b93-4a5d-9529-7e08cbca8e3b.gif
My name's Mike Cyclops. I work for NASA.
mikenames
↓
7f350b50-8fa5-4425-b299-3bd311228d8d.gif
- And let me just tell you,
↓
ddfc7f54-0c4e-4433-b79f-137a3586eb36.gif
there is a lot they're not telling you, man.
telling
↓
7dbd5801-5038-4c34-9138-af3cebf64876.gif
Trust me.
trust
↓
33bc9d8a-c503-4b93-ba1e-ede8a9b2fd65.gif
I worked security at Area 51.
areasecurityworked
↓
2018b319-80af-4ed1-9155-4774a3d5393c.gif
Got kicked out for banging one of the aliens.
aliensbangingkicked
↓
5ce5e3a3-6f82-4f51-8f37-7f3f5b7b21b3.gif
She was hot too.
↓
964e813f-7b3f-42f4-943c-dc7b41623595.gif
She, he, it-- it had everything,
↓
7e61ddd8-bad1-45d9-acc7-4357b79f8ea7.gif
and I love that.
love
↓
09c79545-ab67-43fe-aa93-65e9bcd88295.gif
Oh, God, I miss her. I really do.
miss
↓
e942bbd1-a355-4cc5-8cc5-68afaeee8ae2.gif
*
↓
fba7c98c-0869-4c28-9711-c673d62e303d.gif
- Uh--
↓
d57a4b9c-a2db-4609-a006-c091f4ab5f54.gif
Uh, so what--
↓
bc8abca2-4b5c-4696-8a49-77fd173dad69.gif
- I'm sorry. --
↓
8e89b663-a099-4a7a-9fe0-c5eb8bbc2be3.gif
- I lied. I lied.
lied
↓
419155b1-d8b5-4f70-8c0a-90da88481210.gif
I do know him.
↓
bae61739-3234-43a5-a4dc-090f14e670ec.gif
I was his Uber driver.
driveruberuber-driver
↓
23aa87e7-a750-48fe-b781-ff127a0c3410.gif
I just wanted to come over here
wanted
↓
2228c3f3-c778-4eb0-9797-00f773562d6f.gif
and tell you that, in case you felt
case
↓
18ac14e7-01a3-4f24-a7e3-286c75ad87ff.gif
that there was an undeniable preexisting chemistry.
chemistryundeniable
↓
4a691bdc-a835-400d-84f8-fbcb9d4d3323.gif
Yeah, I'm an Uber driver.
driveruberuber-driver
↓
f35edda1-7471-44e7-a4c1-2704d5cf86b8.gif
It's actually pretty fun. It can be fun.
fun
↓
89088663-9848-4fa1-bb2c-9af19e6c7f40.gif
- Yeah, all right. Yeah, great.
↓
03cb35e0-5ffa-4a4a-a46d-c75931c0c723.gif
*
↓
0bad15c9-1c36-4200-80a4-f776bebb74fc.gif
So--
↓
04fd9379-b3be-4e04-8de1-d96d13064547.gif
Are you kidding me?
kidding
↓
306ba076-8994-44c1-a7c9-fe15063d881b.gif
After you farted in my car?
farted
↓
2dcdc7b7-0e69-45bf-8f98-26e1ab4375a8.gif
- Tim!
↓
e78f9c92-4bc4-4834-bb07-8ecddb77bcac.gif
- Didn't even roll down the window.
rollwindow
↓
61052006-8ae7-4f2e-88ef-5fc44a6196ae.gif
- Ew!
↓
5ff62b7b-c580-40b6-9428-03a69d4bca9b.gif
- I don't know.
↓
864e65d6-325d-41c0-9952-5c8afd484fe0.gif
I think, deep down,
deep
↓
7ec5dc16-905c-48c1-9632-792264505198.gif
I want to sabotage your relationships
relationshipssabotage
↓
25918554-4a7e-4184-b74e-e4cb1ea7b768.gif
so I can have you all to myself.
↓
c942131c-0f64-45ff-b63b-5af4657fa396.gif
He's a piece of shit.
piece
↓
469a1946-e9ed-4fc7-9a8a-f18ef97ae3c7.gif
- Uh...
↓
8ec70e38-cafb-491c-b2b2-f1004a265d34.gif
So, uh, Veronica...
veronica
↓
05b8dffe-9b0e-40ee-815d-c3b6b20aea23.gif
- Vickie. - Vickie.
↓
6454f249-2d25-4dc8-8f81-3ec4c36f33aa.gif
- Whatever. - Vickie, yeah.
↓
9d021399-daa6-4273-afeb-7a2ca2ddef5b.gif
I couldn't help but notice you were watching me,
noticewatching
↓
a7c8fde9-aba1-4822-aa27-b42526267dc7.gif
checking me out from over at the bar.
checking
↓
9239f7c3-63d8-4b29-8e7e-94e0db2f28fc.gif
- Yeah, you're that prostitute from the news, right?
newsprostitute
↓
ac6130bf-0b6a-4393-b1e9-56e0923ec8bc.gif
I was never really a prostitute.
prostitute
↓
61f5eba4-6a6b-498d-8329-bd76e34d74be.gif
Let's make that clear.
clear
↓
23263bd0-9d7e-4ab8-98ff-f14c9a73b01f.gif
She just paid me for sex.
paid
↓
f3ad7523-dd9f-4058-a0db-fb4f49fcf231.gif
- So that's all I am to you, huh?
↓
fc2996af-f403-4d24-b600-cbb909765fda.gif
Just some honey boy, huh?
honey
↓
296d71e8-3b22-432c-a7dd-d17ed1d29f89.gif
That's all I am,
↓
4779a449-e934-497b-82f6-c04f6988951d.gif
just some big dick for money, huh?
dickmoney
↓
7b1535d0-92c1-4b74-880e-e28ef644593a.gif
Is that it?
↓
d92d17b9-aaa9-4487-a8e5-cc71570b1dc7.gif
Just a veiny wang with a knot at the end
knotwang
↓
bd00b347-7ee4-4d24-82c2-29467606aecc.gif
and two huge, pendulum balls?
ballshuge